How to Ask a Guy Why He Hasn’t Kissed You (15+ Examples)

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You’ve been seeing a guy for a while now, and you’re excited about your chemistry. He laughs at your jokes, he makes your heart pound, and there’s a special charge in the air whenever you talk. However, he hasn’t kissed you yet, and you aren’t sure why. Who can blame you?

Let’s look at a few things you can ask that will make it easier to figure out what is happening here. We’ll also answer some other questions that may occur to many girls in this situation. By the time you’re done reading, you should feel confident knowing why he hasn’t kissed you yet and if he ever will in the future.

How to Ask a Guy Why He Hasn’t Kissed You

We’ll talk about two of the most effective ways to figure out why a guy hasn’t kissed you yet. The best way that we find is to be direct about it if it is bothering you. However, you may also want to try a different approach to figure out what is going on. We’ll break down a few of these ideas to make it easier for you to find the best option. Each section will have questions you can ask here.

Be Direct About It

couple talking close

The most obvious way to figure out why a guy hasn’t kissed you yet is to ask him directly. However, we realize that this isn’t the most accessible approach for many people. You may be shy or struggle to express yourself. Or you might be worried about his answer. That’s understandable. Nobody wants to be told that a guy doesn’t like them or that they aren’t attractive enough for him to kiss.

However, you deserve an answer to this question, one that satisfies your needs and communicates his intent. Guys have a bad way of assuming you can read his mind and understand exactly what he wants while getting mad if you do the same thing! So, don’t be afraid to ask him directly to listen to what he has to say. Just a few ways that you can ask him include:

  • “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”
  • “Do you usually wait for a few dates before a kiss?”
  • “Are you still not sure whether you want to kiss or not?”
  • “Let’s be honest: we probably should have kissed by now. So why haven’t we?”
  • “I’d like you to kiss me. Would you rather not?”

These simple statements should make it easier for you to figure out why your guy hasn’t kissed you yet. Some might feel a little too aggressive or demanding for some women. That’s okay! If you’re dating a guy who hasn’t kissed you after several dates, you deserve to know why. Things typically progress in a pretty specific way in relationships, and your expectations should be considered.

That said, don’t freak out if he says he isn’t ready yet. Instead, listen to how he answers the questions and gauge how he reacts. Does he seem legitimately surprised that you’re asking? Does he say that he’d old-fashioned and likes to go slow? Has he taken any other steps to show you that he likes you? For example, as he held your hand yet, does he want to touch you unexpectedly on the shoulder?

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Such simple touches and statements can reveal a lot about how he’s thinking. When a guy makes an excuse to touch you or be close to you, he’s sending you a message: he likes you. He might be working up to your first kiss and need a little confidence boost. Or maybe he just hasn’t had a good time to kiss you. Here are a few more questions you can ask to gauge this fact:

  • “Are you waiting for the right time to kiss me?”
  • “Do you feel shy or intimidated by me?”
  • “Is it better for you to kiss a girl later in a dating experience?”
  • “Are you uncomfortable with the first kiss?”
  • “Is it okay if I kiss you if you’re uncertain?”

When you take a guy’s needs into account, you can help him out in many ways. Guys like thoughtful and supporting women. You don’t need to be a pushover or someone he relies on for all his emotional support. That is draining and hard for anyone to handle. But if you can show him that you take his emotional state seriously, he is likely to appreciate you more.

Be Subtle: Never an Easy Stepcouple talking on a couch

If you’re not quite ready to be direct about this situation but want to know why he hasn’t kissed you yet, subtlety may be appropriate. But, unfortunately, it’s not always easy to ask a guy a subtle question and get a good answer because many of them are likely to misunderstand what you mean.

That said, there are many questions that you can ask to gauge his interest and avoid getting confused or even agitated. These simple questions should help to make it easy to understand this situation and minimize any problematic personal conflict between the two of you:

  • “Do you think attraction comes over time or is quick?”
  • “Is a kiss a good way to gauge attraction?”
  • “What ways do you like to show a girl you’re attracted to her?”
  • “When do you think is the right time to kiss a girl?”
  • “Is it okay for a girl to kiss a guy first, or should the guy always do it?”
  • “What’s the best way to let a guy know you want him to kiss you?”
  • “What do you think it means if a guy doesn’t kiss a girl after so many dates?”

As you can see, some of these questions are relatively direct, while others are a bit more subtle. You want to gauge his feelings on this situation to get a better grasp of what he wants. Just as importantly, you want to communicate to him that you’re more than ready for a kiss.

In this way, he’s more likely to get the point and potentially kiss you before you get tired of waiting. After a while, it’s more than okay just to assume he’s never going to kiss you and move on with your life and find somebody who works at your speed when dating.

How Long Should I Wait for a Guy to Kiss Me?

couple talking outside

There’s no cut-and-dry answer for this question. About one-third of people polled on this question said that 2-3 dates are acceptable to get the first kiss. By contrast, 60% of men said the first date is a perfect time, while 48% of women said the first date was best for a kiss.

Honestly, it all depends on the guy and his dating history. Don’t assume that a guy will kiss you on the first date because over half of the men polled said it was good to do it then. He will be reading your signals and reacting to how you behave towards him.

How Do You Hint for a Kiss From a Guy?

embarrassed girl

If you’re not quite ready to ask him directly, it is a good idea to use a few subtle ways of communicating your interest. These are primarily body-language things but also require a little conversation and thoughtful, personal attention. They include how you can:

  • Touch him during your dates in subtle ways
  • Joke about getting kissed or banter about your favorite type of kiss
  • Wear a lipstick that draws his attention to your mouth
  • Purse your lips occasionally while you talk to him
  • Lean forward as you speak to invade his space slightly

Most guys should get the hint if you take these simple steps. Those people who don’t understand are either a little dense or inexperienced with dating. Others may simply not be into you. But, again, directly asking him why he hasn’t kissed you should give you a better idea of what to expect here.

Get Ready to Be Kissed

Here’s the fun thing about this situation: you might end up getting your first kiss if you ask your guy why he hasn’t kissed you yet. There’s a good chance he simply didn’t know you wanted a kiss and is likely to react by giving you one. If he doesn’t, don’t worry. Some guys just don’t work that way. If he does, then you’re in a pretty good situation and can feel comfortable.