How to Get Your Ex Back Fast – Step by Step Guide

How to get your ex back can be a challenging and emotional journey. Because I successfully went through it myself, I can tell you it is definitely possible.

Getting back together with an ex is a common desire for many people. You’re sitting there, wondering how you’ll get better and if you’ll ever be able to let go. Your heart is still filled with pain and longing for your ex.

Follow these steps to rebuild that special bond and find happiness once again. It worked for me and can work for you too. Here are the 10 steps that helped me get back with my ex boyfriend.

How to Get Your Ex Back

The best way to get your ex back is to first follow the no contact rule, understand why you split up, assess the relationship, focus on yourself, reestablish communication, hint at plans, get together and have fun, communicate about past issues, recognize your role and apologize, and finally, get back together.

1. The No Contact Rule

The “no contact rule” refers to a period of time when you completely cut off communication with your ex. This means no calls, texts, emails, or social media interactions.

The purpose of this rule is to create distance, allow yourself time to heal, focus on personal growth, and gain clarity. It also gives time for your ex to miss you and start thinking about you.

By implementing the no contact rule, you give yourself the space and time to work on personal growth, to reflect on the relationship and the reasons you broke up, and ultimately to increase the likelihood of a successful reconciliation.

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2. Understand Why You Split Up

Understanding why you split up is crucial for both personal growth and the possibility of getting back together with your ex. It is important to recognize the true issues so you can work on them.

Identifying the underlying issues that led to the breakup gives you valuable insight into what needs to change for a healthier future relationship.

Additionally, by demonstrating this understanding to your ex, you show that you recognize your role and you’re willing to address the problems that led to the breakup.

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3. Assess the Relationship

Assessing the relationship involves examining both the positive and negative aspects. Consider the strengths and weaknesses, the compatibility, and the communication between you and your ex.

Evaluate whether the relationship was healthy, fulfilling, trustworthy, and built on mutual respect. Be honest with yourself so you can see your role in the problems, and start making necessary changes.

4. Focus on You

Focus on yourself during the no contact period by prioritizing self-reflection and personal growth. Consider your own actions and behaviors within the relationship, and identify areas where you need to improve.

This involves engaging in activities that promote self-care, such as exercising, pursuing hobbies, and spending time with friends and family.

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can provide emotional support during this challenging time. Strengthening your social network will also help you establish a sense of independence.

Take this time to enhance your emotional well-being and build confidence. Prioritize your own happiness by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This will not only boost your confidence but also make you more attractive to your ex.

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5. Reestablish Communication

After the no contact period, it’s important to reestablish communication with your ex in a casual and non-needy manner, so you don’t sound desperate.

Keep the conversation light and positive, and avoid any mention of past issues or conflicts. By initiating communication with a friendly approach, you increase the chances of reestablishing a healthy and open line of communication.

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Begin by sending a casual, friendly message, not asking for anything. Here are some examples:

  • Hi, hope you’re doing well.
  • Hey, just thought of you.
  • Checking in to see how you’re doing.
  • Been a while, I still think about you sometimes. Hope you’re happy.
  • Just realized you were right about something you said.
  • I still care about you.

Wait until you hear back, don’t send a second message. Go slowly and be patient. When you do hear back, the door is now open. Keep all messages and conversations light and positive.

6. Hint at Plans

Once you’ve reestablished communication with your ex, subtly hint at plans to meet up without directly asking. It’s better if he suggests the plans.

  • Every time I pass Starbucks I think of being there with you.
  • We should grab a drink sometime and catch up.
  • I’m dying to go to that yogurt place we love, can’t go without you.
  • I miss hanging out with you.
  • Is it wrong if we meet for a coffee?

Casually mention a place you used to hang out at together, and recount a fond memory. By dropping these hints, you give your ex the opportunity to express his interest in seeing you.

The key here is to get him onboard without coming off as too eager. You might want to mention an upcoming event or activity that you used to like doing together.

By subtly hinting at potential plans, you open the door for your ex to consider hanging out with you without feeling forced or obligated.

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7. Have Fun, Hook Up

When you do get together, keep it light and fun. Don’t discuss any issues, focus on having a good time. You might want to try a new experience together. For example, sign up for a cooking class, take a hike, or see a new movie.

You can also do the fun things you used to do together, whether that is Netflix and chill, eating at a specific restaurant, or going to the theater.

Make sure you’re in good spirits and fun to be around, and do things that will make your ex want to spend more time with you.

Should you hook up? Yes, definitely. Sex is a big part of a relationship and a great way to get closer.

8. Communicate About Past Issues

Better your communication skills by actively listening and expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly.

Effective communication is essential for resolving conflicts and rebuilding trust. It is important that you both address the problems and issues that led to your breakup.

By evaluating these factors, you can determine if there is alignment and potential for a stronger and more fulfilling relationship in the future.

9. Recognize Your Role

Be honest with yourself and consider your role in the issues that led to the breakup. Make sure you adequately address and resolve everything you feel you did wrong that might have led to the breakup.

Apologize for any mistakes you made or hurtful actions you did. Show genuine remorse for your wrongdoings and negative actions. This step is crucial for moving forward and rebuilding the relationship.

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10. Get Back Together

At some point it will be clear that you both want to get back together. Treat it like a brand new relationship. Be silly, be romantic, be loving. Work hard to stay away from old patterns and past issues.

Make sure to implement the changes you made to yourself during the no contact period. Consider your behavior and make sure not to repeat old patterns.

Communication is critical! I cannot stress the importance of active listening when your boyfriend speaks so you understand his concerns, needs, and desires.

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How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

The best way to get your ex boyfriend back is to start with the no contact rule, understand why you broke up, consider the relationship, focus on bettering yourself, reestablish communication, hint at meeting up, get together and have fun, communicate openly about past issues, recognize your role, apologize if necessary, and get back together.

How to Get Your Ex Back When He Has Moved On

The best way to get your ex back when he has moved on is to contact him and get him to respond, which may not happen right away. Be patient, he will be receptive if he wants to, all you can do is give him the option. When you hear back, flirt with him, and keep the interaction light and fun. Hint at getting together, yet let him make the plans. It’s better if he thinks it’s his idea.

One of the worst things that can happen to you romantically is watching someone you’re in love with move on. You almost start to wonder if he ever really loved you at all.

Follow our 10 step guide above to learn how to get your ex back when he has moved on with someone else and how to get your man back from another woman.

When Your Ex Has Moved On

If you see these you might want to consider reading our 10 step guide above – how to get your ex boyfriend back when he has moved on.

  1. He’s seeing someone else
  2. He’s distant
  3. He doesn’t reply quickly
  4. He barely speaks to you
  5. You haven’t seen each other in a while

How to Win a Man Back from Another Woman

The best way to win a man back from another woman is to be persistent with keeping the communication open, remain calm, and avoid mentioning the other girl. Focus on your connection with your ex, keep things light and fun, and have a good time when you interact. The key is to make him miss you and want you back. Do this by showing your best side.

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How to Get Your Ex Back After a Messy Breakup

The best way to get your ex back after a messy breakup is to first follow the no contact rule for a little longer than normal. During this time, assess the relationship and focus on bettering yourself. When you feel ready, reach out and reestablish communication. Be patient, it might take time. When you reconnect, take things slowly, keep the interaction light and fun. Don’t repeat the same mistakes.

How to Get Your Ex Back After Hurting Them 

1. Follow the No Contact Rule

2. Consider the Relationship

3. Recognize How You Hurt Them

4. Make Personal Changes

5. Reach Out

6. Admit Your Wrongdoings and Apologize

7. Show You Have Changed

8. Communicate Honestly and Openly

9. Be Kind and Gentle

10. Build Trust

11. Make Plans

12. Have Fun, Hook Up

13. Get Back Together

More Info: Psychology Today

How to Get Your Ex Back Fast

To learn how to get your ex boyfriend back in 24 hours, read the paragraph below.

To get your ex boyfriend back fast, recognize your role in the breakup. Tell your ex that you realize the things you did, apologize for your mistakes, show that you have changed, and don’t repeat your bad behavior. Be honest, open, and sincere.

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if It Seems Impossible

If getting your ex boyfriend back seems impossible, follow the 10 steps above closely. With our guidance, you have a very good chance of getting him back.


To get your ex back follow the above 10 steps. Remember to be patient, understanding, and committed to the process, as true reconciliation takes time and effort.

Rekindle the connection gradually. Avoid rushing into a relationship and focus on building a solid foundation based on trust, respect, and effective communication.

Farzana Tajnin
Farzana Tajnin

Hi, I’m Zana, the proud co-owner of this amazing website. I live in NYC, studied relationship psychology at NYU, and got my dating and relationship coaching certification at MI.

I live, breath, and sleep relationship advice, and I’m always learning. Think of me as a dependable friend on your journey to find love.

One comment

  1. Great post however , I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Thank you!

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