DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
Knowing how long to wait before texting a guy back can make a huge difference in how your relationship unfolds. After all, there’s a big difference between showing sincere interest, and coming across as obsessive.
How Long to Wait Before Texting Your Guy Crush Back?
If you’re anxiously fretting about how long to wait, you can stop now. There’s a pretty solid guideline you can follow depending on the kind of rapport you two share.
Do you and this guy have a really intense attraction? If your chemistry is mind-blowing and you seriously want this dude, then text back within 10-15 minutes. That shows sincere interest, but also tells him that you’re not sitting and staring at your phone 24/7.
Alternatively, if you two are still just getting to know one another and are texting casually, then texting back within a few hours is fine. You can even text back the following morning if he sends his message after 10pm (or your usual bedtime).
The exception to this is if you two are making plans that need immediate attention. For example, if he messages you and says that there’s a table available at a restaurant and he’s on hold to reserve it, then respond immediately.
In general, the amount of time to wait before texting back will depend on how eager you are to know this person more. Avoid game-playing and trying not to appear too interested. Do you like people to be real with you? Then be honest and real with them too.
Should I Text Him Back Right Away?
As mentioned above, only if you’re making plans or need to exchange info immediately. Let’s say that he texts to say that he’s in your neighborhood unexpectedly, if you want to grab a drink. In this scenario, it’s only courteous to write back immediately.
Otherwise, some people suggest waiting at least a few minutes before texting back.
Some people find it unnerving with the other person fires back a text immediately. They wonder if that person does nothing except pounce on their phone whenever it beeps at them. If you want to prove that you’re fairly human, then wait a few minutes.
Does Not Texting a Guy Back Make Him Want You More?
That depends entirely on the guy, but for the most part, no.
Sure, some dudes who are really into the thrill of the chase might find you more appealing if you’re unavailable to them. Those tend to be in the minority, however. Most guys are just as nervous and eager as women are when getting to know someone new. If a girl doesn’t text him back, he’s more likely to feel disappointed, confused, and rejected than fascinated.
Consider how you feel when a guy doesn’t text you back. Does that make you want him more? Or would you prefer it if he were straight up with you about how he’s feeling, and whether he wants to spend more time with you?
If He Takes Hours to Text Back Should I Do the Same?
That all depends on whether you’re more invested in playing a game with him, or being true to yourself. What’s more important? Adhering to someone else’s playbook, or being sincere?
This also depends on why he may be taking several hours to text back. What’s he doing in between texts? Is he at work or school? Or dealing with family obligations? If he’s just watching Netflix for hours and can’t be bothered to communicate, then that’s one thing. Alternatively, if he’s taking the time to contact you when he has a moment free, then that’s still making you a priority.
If it’s really important to you to have a level playing field, so to speak, then wait just as long to text him back. Or, if you’d just want to behave like a mature adult, text back when it feels right to you to do so.
Is it Bad if a Guy Takes a Long Time to Text Back?
Once again, what’s the context? And what did he say when he texted back? Does he make a habit of taking a really long time to respond to you? Or was the late response a one-time thing because of extenuating circumstances?
If this was a one-off and he let you know that a serious issue came up, then no. It’s not a bad thing at all. Life happens, and sometimes we have to put all our time and energy into dealing with a crap situation.
On the other hand, if he just picks up conversation like it never ended, only days, weeks, or months have passed, then yeah. That’s a sign that he really has little to no emotional investment in whatever relationship you have.
Generally, if someone is sincerely interested in you, then they’ll put real effort into communicating with you. If this guy regularly takes days to text you back, and only writes a few words in response, then he’s probably not really into you. Or whatever connection you’ve had has already run its course and he’s just trying to be polite.
Ultimately, regardless of the guidelines mentioned above, what’s most important is how you feel about this dude.
Rather than asking “how long to wait before texting a guy back?” ask yourself why you feel that waiting X amount of time to text him back really matters. What’s more important to you: following some rules, or sincerity?
Quite often, a huge sign of a strong, resilient relationship is when people don’t care about regulations regarding how often to text, and what to say. You can read a dozen articles on this topic and each one will offer different advice, so why not follow your own instincts? To thine own self be true, and all that.
Just do it when it feels right. With any luck, he’ll do the same thing.