Does not texting a guy back make him want you more? That usually depends on the guy, but it does seem to be the case with most people. Let’s take a look at the psychology behind why this happens, and what can happen if/when you do it.
So, Does Not Texting Him Back Make Him Want You More?
According to most experts, most men really enjoy the thrill of the chase. If there’s no chase to be had, there’s no challenge. In simplest terms, there’s very little to engage his interest.
Think of it in terms of food, if you like. You’ve probably experienced situations where you were hungry, but craving something you didn’t have in the house. The fridge and cupboards may be packed with food, but that’s not what you want.
Instead, you’re probably craving something from a place that doesn’t deliver, but isn’t open that day. Basically, you’re aching for what you can’t have.
Same goes for people.
If this guy knows he can have you (and/or your attention) whenever he wants it, there’s no craving. Like living next door to a fast food place, he can get something he wants whenever the mood strikes. As a result, not having you on call 24/7 makes you much more appealing.
Granted, other guys will think about this situation differently. They might get really hurt if and when they’re ignored, and feel like if you’re not invested in communicating with him, then there’s no point in continuing your exchanges.
So, does not texting a guy back make him want you more? In a word, sometimes.
What He Thinks When You Don’t Text Back
Consider it this way: what do you feel when and if he doesn’t text back? You probably start to wonder why he isn’t doing so. Is he talking to someone else? If so, is that other person more interesting or better looking than you are? What is he doing that’s more important than communicating with you?
As you might imagine, similar thoughts go through his head when you don’t text back.
At first, he won’t want to text you too much because he doesn’t want to seem needy. After all, that’s just not cool for a guy to do, right?
His next step will likely be to wait a couple of days and then text you something like asking what you’re up to. He’s curious, and basically wants to know whether you’re available, or out with someone else.
Of course, there’s another possibility. For some guys, if you don’t text them back, they think that you’re playing them. They might lose interest in playing this “game” with you, and take their attentions elsewhere. Sure, he might still want you more because you aren’t lavishing him with attention, but he’s not going to put his time and energy where they aren’t truly wanted.
Rather than just thinking that you’re busy, or that you’re also seeing other guys, he might think that you’re not girlfriend material. Would you trust someone who makes a point of ignoring you to get a reaction out of you? Think about how you’d feel if the situation was reversed, then decide whether you want to go this route or not.
That’s a risk to take when playing the ignoring game.
How Do Guys Feel When You Ignore Them?
Usually, the first responses are curiosity and frustration. As mentioned, men generally prefer the thrill of the chase. They’re hunters, and like to feel that they’re in positions of power and control.
As a result, when a woman isn’t returning texts, the guy is likely to feel confused. If you’re into him, you should be falling all over yourself trying to talk to him more, right? So if you’re not… what’s going on?
Not being texted back also hits a guy’s ego pretty hard. This is especially true if he’s used to being the one who ghosts women, or is always the one doing the breaking up. He wants to be wanted, and if he’s not getting the attention he wants (and feels he deserves), he needs to feel validated again.
Furthermore, he’ll want to feel like he’s the one who’s most worthy of your attention. He needs/wants to know that he’d “win” over any other guy who wants you.
As mentioned above, there’s also the possibility that he’ll just shut down. If you’re ignoring him, he’ll ignore you right back. It really depends on what type of guy he is. If he’s not into playing games, ignoring him might be the way to lose his interest forever.
How to Get His Attention When He Ignores Your Texts
If you think he’s ignoring you to retaliate for ignoring him, ask yourself whether this is a relationship you really want to continue. Do you want to be with someone with whom you’re just playing games back and forth?
Alternatively, if you feel like you’ve both been quite valid with your reasons for ignoring one another (super busy, family drama, major life crises, etc.) then be honest with him. Let him know that you’re sorry for not having been in regular communication, and ask if he wants to catch up.
This shows him that his time and energy are important to you, and that you have a valid reason for going quiet. Leave the ball in his court and see if he steps forward. If he does, great: you two can meet up in person to talk about what’s been going on in your lives.
You can also use playful approaches like funny texts or memes to capture his interest if you’ve been out of contact for a while. Few things break the ice like something that inspires a smile.
Don’t text him anything shocking or potentially upsetting, like implying that you might be pregnant, or faking that something horrible happened in your life. If you want to have any kind of relationship with this guy, you don’t want to risk lying to him and potentially breaking trust forever.
Be playful and real, but not needy. If he doesn’t text back after a period of you ignoring one another, stop texting him. If he’s still interested, he’ll come around on his own time.
Every person is different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all guarantee for everyone’s behavior. What intrigues and excites one person might turn off another. Same goes for whether someone prefers the thrill of the chase, or the reassurance of a sincere connection.
If the two of you already have a playful, cheeky rapport in which you tease one another and like to chase each other, then sure: you can try the ignore/avoid game for a bit. Just be careful if you go this route. Not everyone is into that kind of thing, and you’ll run the risk of potentially alienating a really great guy.
Ignoring people can be seen as a form of abuse, depending on the circumstances and the energy involved. Sure, not texting a guy might make him want you more, but it might also make him lose all faith and trust in you.
The choice is yours.