Should I Text Him After Sex & Texts After Sleeping With Him

Have you just slept with a guy? Are you thinking to yourself, “should I text him after sex?” Maybe you like him, perhaps you just want to keep him around for sex. Either way, it is important not to appear needy.

Here you will learn when, how, and exactly what to text a guy after sleeping with him.

Should I Text Him After Sex

Yes, you should text him after sex, later the next day. This leaves a little time and space for him to text you first. It is best to say something playful and light so it is easy for him to respond. Avoid being needy or too anxious and do not mention feelings or anything too serious.

What to Text After Sex

An after sex text message depends on what you are looking for. Consider the three possibilities.

Casual Hooking Up

A big misconception is that women only want relationships. This may be true for some women, yet not for all. Girls have needs and desires too. You may just be looking for a friend with benefits, or casual sex.

This type of relationship is mostly physical. When communicating with him it is okay to send sexy selfies and delicious descriptions of what you’d like him to do to you.

Stay away from serious conversations that might imply that you are looking for more. Your feelings may change in the future. You may want something more serious with him, or perhaps you might decide you are not interested. For now, have a good time.

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Serious Relationship

If you are looking for more than sex, perhaps a serious relationship, send a casual and light-hearted message. This puts the ball in his court. Wait to see how he responds and let him lead. Be patient.

Do not send flirty or sexual texts. This will give him the wrong idea. You don’t want him to think that all you want is to hook up.

Do not mention your feelings or ask him what he wants. This could scare him off. You have plenty of time to have the “what are we” conversation later.

It is in your best interest to let these topics come up naturally. I know it is hard to maintain self-control, especially when you like the guy.

Don’t make yourself seem too available and don’t reply back to him right away. Let him wonder what you are doing and who you are with. Guys are most attracted to girls who are unpredictable.

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One-Night Stand

Sleeping with a guy does not obligate you to anything more than sex. You don’t owe him an explanation. If you are not interested in anything more with him, you have two options. You can either ghost him or tell him the truth.

No Text After Sex Meaning

After sleeping with a guy, you can send a text the next day. It is best if you hear back from him as soon as possible. I recommend waiting 2 days before drawing any conclusions. 

He might be considering if he is interested and not want to lead you on. Don’t sit around waiting, keep your mind on other things.

Perhaps he doesn’t have any feelings for you, and just wanted to hook up. If he got what he wanted and isn’t looking for more, he might ghost you. For him it might have just been a one-night stand.

Don’t chase, you don’t want to come off as needy. You are not for every guy, and every guy is not for you. It is his loss, let it go. 

You are better off seeing his true colors now rather than later. There are many guys and you deserve to be with someone who appreciates and desires you.

When to Text a Guy After Sleeping With Him

It is best to text a guy later the next day after sleeping with him. This gives him some time to think about the interaction and start to miss you. It also gives him some time to text you first, which is a much better position to be in.

In addition, texting him the next day shows that you are interested. What to text depends on what you’re looking for. Consider if you’re interested in casual sex, if it was a one-night stand, or if you are looking for a possible relationship.

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How to Keep a Man Interested After Sleeping With Him

To keep a man interested after sleeping with him, you must first consider what you want. After you are clear on your intentions, act accordingly.

1. Send a Sexy Text Message

If you are looking for a repeat performance, send a sexual or dirty message. You can also send a hot selfie or a picture of your body.

2. Don’t Discuss Your Expectations

The worst thing you can do is try to have the “what are we” conversation. This will most likely scare him off. Keep things light and playful. Let the more serious topics come up naturally.

3. Don’t Be Needy

Do not text him right away. Wait until the next day. Leave some time and space for him to miss you and let his feelings develop.

4. Don’t Blow up His Phone

Do not double text him. It is okay to send a text, yet you should wait to hear back before texting him again.

5. Flirt With Him

If you like the guy, and want to get him to respond, your best bet is to flirt with him.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: How To Flirt Over Text and In Person: Ultimate Guide

6. Compliment Him

Guys like when you stroke their egos. Tell him how sexy he is and how amazing it was to be with him.

7. Show Interest in the Things He Likes

If you want more than just sex, take interest in the things he likes to do. This will show him that you are cool and fun. He will want to hang out with you.

8. Make Plans With Him

If you like him, and want to see him again, you may want to mention getting together. You could suggest a repeat performance or even going on a date.

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More Info: Psychology Today


Sex is a powerful experience. The release of chemicals and hormones in your body during this intimacy can be intoxicating. It is best to have a game plan for texting after a hookup so you don’t send the wrong message.

Consider your feelings and intentions after sleeping with him. Decide if it was no strings attached sex or if you are looking to see him again. Perhaps he is boyfriend material.

Sending the right text shows your interest and can help strengthen the connection. Wait until the next day and decide what you want before reaching out. Trust yourself and do what feels good. Proper communication is important for any type of relationship.

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.