DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
Communicating through text takes skills. Unlike when you’re talking on the phone or face-to-face, the person you’re talking to can’t see your expressions or hear your voice.
You have to rely solely on the cold, dark letters on the screen. Sure, you can throw in an emoji here or there to try and stir in a little bit of emotion, but one emoji too many makes you look childish.
That’s why showing a guy you like him over text is so complicated. There’s a lot that can go wrong, but we’ll help guide you through it.
How to Show a Guy You Like Him Over Text
Ask him questions about himself and his interests.
If we asked you to tell us which texts made you feel most appreciated, you’d probably pick ones where the guy asks you about yourself. It shows that he’s interested in you and the things that matter to you.
Likewise, these types of questions indicate to the guy who’s got your eye that you want to know about him. (Not to mention that it’s just polite to ask people about themselves!)
One thing we always advise being cautious about, though, is asking too many or too personal questions. If you’ve just met him, asking him overly intimate things such as whether or not he sees himself getting married soon is overkill. Similarly, bombarding him with questions will make you come across as obsessive.
Just like seasoning a meal, your questions should be peppered in throughout the conversation.
When he texts you, pay attention and respond accordingly.
Let’s take a step back and look at it from another perspective. What kinds of conversational things get on your nerves?
We don’t know about you, but we hate it when someone we’re talking to asks us a question…then doesn’t seem to care about the answer at all. They might completely ignore your answer and go off on their own tangent, or they might acknowledge it with something as insulting as just a “k.”
Keep this in mind whenever you ask him a question. Focus on his answer and reply to it. Use it to keep the conversation flowing.
This will show him that you’re not just asking him questions to get on his good side – what he says to you actually matters.
Related Article: What to Text When a Guy Pulls Away (Without Seeming Clingy)
Occasionally, let him text you first.
We know what you’re thinking: if you’re trying to show him you like him, shouldn’t you be the one reaching out to him?
Not necessarily. While being the first person to initiate contact is empowering for you (and flattering for him), doing so all the time makes it too easy for him. If he knows all he has to do is sit back and wait for you to come to him, he’ll just get complacent.
Here and there, let him text you first. Not only will this let him enjoy the thrill of pursuing you, but it encourages him to put in some of the conversational legwork.
Now that’s what we call killing two birds with one stone!
Side Note: Check out our ultimate guide on texting guys right here.
Let him know when you’re thinking about him…sometimes.
Every once in awhile, you’re going to have to get a little bit bolder with your conversation. If you don’t know him that well yet, that doesn’t mean spilling your guts to him.
However, lightly and flirtatiously letting him know that he’s crossed your mind occasionally will do wonders for his ego and put a smile on his face.
For instance, you could let him know if you’ve just heard a song that you think he’d like. Maybe you just got around to watching that show or movie he recommended to you, and you want to tell him what you thought.
These little tidbits show him that he’s on your mind. They can also be a clue to an oblivious guy that you like thinking about him.
Send him selfies.
Sometimes, a cute picture is all you need for a little pick-me-up. Just think about all the times a meme or an adorable picture of an animal has made you smile.
Well, if he likes you, then a picture of you can have the same effect of making a gooey smile cross his face. While we don’t recommend sending him selfies every day (you could come across as self-absorbed), snapping one for him on occasion could be the perfect way to show him you’re interested.
Plus, it has the bonus effect of reminding him how gorgeous you are.
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Try to make him laugh or smile.
People that make us laugh are the ones we tend to feel the most comfortable around. Laughter is both like a healing balm and an indulgent chocolate – it’s sweet, and it can soothe us after a bad day.
If you can make him laugh (or even just smile a little), he’s going to want to talk to you more often. He’ll have experienced firsthand how uplifting your presence is.
So how do you make him laugh? Well, that depends on how much you know him. If you know a little about his interests and hobbies, you can easily find memes about them by searching online.
Otherwise, you can text him a little cheer organically. Let him know if you stumble across a funny video that you think would get a chuckle or two out of him.
Not sure what to say to him at all? No worries – there are experts out there who do know what to say and can help you turn a conversational flop into a score. If you need some extra guidance, try taking a look at the Text Chemistry program.
It’s a texting course that was developed by a relationship coach named Amy North. With her expertise, she was able to create all these text templates you can send to a guy to get him absolutely hooked.
Avoid These Common Texting Mistakes
Just like there are things you should do in text conversations, there are definitely things you shouldn’t do. Let’s take a look at some of those don’ts now…
Waiting for every possible opportunity to talk about yourself.
You know what’s really annoying? When you’re talking to someone, and you can just tell that they’re only waiting for you to finish talking before they jump in again.
In person, you can see it in their body language. They might start impatiently tapping their foot, checking their phone, or giving you a bunch of bland “uh-huhs” or “yeahs.” In text, on the other hand, they’re just giving you one-word answers before launching into another discussion.
Don’t be that kind of person. If you’re into the guy, you should legitimately enjoy talking to him. That means sitting back and really taking in what he has to say.
Recommended Article: What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend When You Miss Him
Answering the very same moment he texts you.
We know we just said you should be savoring the conversation, but that doesn’t mean belittling yourself in front of him. Don’t scramble to give him a hasty response within minutes every time he texts you.
All that tells him is that you don’t have a life of your own. He’ll start imagining you as this creep hunched over their phone, staring wide-eyed at the screen whenever he’s not talking to you.
Give it a rest once in awhile. Take your time answering him here and there. Like we mentioned earlier, this will encourage him to chase you, and also show him that you have your own independent life.
Making him feel bad for not texting you back right away.
When a guy takes his sweet old time answering you, you naturally start to worry and get impatient. All these anxious thoughts start running through your head.
What if he’s talking to another girl? What if he’s ignoring you? Did you just say something that completely turned him off of you?
And when those thoughts start taking over, we fall prey to our insecurities. You might think you need to text him several times in a row, ask him where he went, or tell him you’re lonely.
Stop right there. Put down your phone and back away when you start feeling like that. More likely than not, the only reason he didn’t text you back right away is that he’s busy.
Read Also: What to Text a Guy Who Keeps Blowing You Off
Sending him one-word messages.
It’s hard enough carrying out interesting conversations by text. Don’t make it even harder by sending him cryptic one-word texts.
If conversations are like rock climbing, then those one-word texts are like smooth walls. There’s nothing to grip on. Your man might just lose his footing and fall off the conversational wall entirely.
Your conversation is something you are building together. Make sure you provide him footholds so he can progress, and he’ll do the same for you if he has any social skills whatsoever.
Keep yourself from getting too negative.
We all have our bad days. Heck, sometimes we have bad weeks or months.
But unless you’ve known this guy for a long time, opening up about all your negative emotions can be overwhelming. He’s not a therapist. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ever let him know when you’re feeling down in the dumps, or that you can’t ever confide in him.
What it does mean is that you need to try and stay positive as often as possible, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Appreciate his mental and emotional space, and build your connection first.
Pouring all your deepest feelings out to him.
This is a little bit different from just staying positive. What we mean by “deepest feelings” is the extent of your attraction to him.
Feeling like he might be The One, the guy you’ve been looking for all your life? Do you have unbelievable chemistry that fills you with butterflies? Is he always on your mind?
First of all, that’s absolutely fantastic! Falling in love is wonderful, and you deserve to savor the feeling.
However, the early stages of a relationship are fragile. Laying these feelings on him too soon can put a lot of pressure on him – just like how it puts pressure on you when he confesses serious feelings too soon.
How soon is too soon? That’s hard to say, because it’s different for everyone. A relationship is a personal thing that’s unique to the people building it, so you’ll need to kind of gauge both your and his readiness on your own.
Use Your Resources to Become a Texting Master
Further Reading: What to Text a Guy to Get Him to Respond (Tried and True Methods)
Still unsure of how to let your guy know you like him over text? We know – it’s tough. Texting feels like an elusive art sometimes.
Luckily, there are texting masters who are ready and willing to pass their knowledge down to you. One example is Amy North, a relationship coach who has tons of experience helping couples at all stages in their relationships build a connection.
She’s created this detailed Text Chemistry course specifically to help you text your special guy. It’s easy, understandable, and will help you reel him in.