16 Reasons Why Men Come Back Months Later & What to Do

Have you ever considered, why do men come back? What is going through his mind? Why did he come back months after you broke up?

You may be wondering why he waited so long and what has changed since the last time you spoke.

Here you will learn all the reasons why men come back months later and beyond, and what to do.

Why Do Men Come Back

1. They Want Another Chance

A guy might come back months later because he needed to work on himself. He may have realized that he wasn’t happy with the way he was, and needed to focus on himself and make some changes.

If he is taking responsibility for his actions, and he has matured and improved himself, he is probably a better person and most likely will be a better partner.

Take things slowly. Make sure there is open and honest communication. He may have had some changes in his personality or outlook on life, so it’s important to get to know him again before jumping into anything.

Hopefully, you have also taken some time to focus on yourself. Make sure you are in a good place emotionally before jumping back into a relationship.

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2. They Miss Being with You

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Perhaps he realizes he still wants to be with you and he has made a mistake. Maybe what he likes about you outweighs the things he does not like about you. He misses your relationship and is back to try again.

Maybe he has decided you’re the one for him. It’s important to communicate with your ex about why he missed you. This will help you understand where he is coming from so you can decide whether or not he is ready for a relationship this time.

Why do men come back 1

3. They Can’t Find Anyone Better

One of the main reasons why men come back is because they haven’t found anyone who compares to you. Most of the women are either below his standards or aren’t interested back.

You’ve set the bar high, he sees he isn’t going to meet anyone who treats him as good as you do. He probably can’t get you out of his mind.

4. They Are Afraid to Commit

He might have gotten scared off because he really likes you. This is the sign of a guy who is afraid of commitment. He does want to be with you yet got scared of his strong feelings.

5. They Are on the Rebound

Your guy might have dated someone after you and now they too have broken up. He is on the rebound and looking for someone to take his mind off the breakup. Be cautious! Rebound relationships don’t tend to last and can leave you heartbroken.

6. They Feel Guilty

Perhaps he did or said something that he now feels bad about. Or maybe he realizes he didn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He may regret the decision to break up. Something is on his mind.

7. They Want Closure

He might not like how things ended. Perhaps your last interaction was a text message. Maybe he wants to see you one last time. Possibly he wants to say goodbye. Whatever the case may be, he is not fully over the breakup and needs closure.

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8. They Had a Personal Issue

He might have been dealing with something that was taking up all his time and energy. It could be a family issue, a work issue, or possibly a medical issue.

If the issue has been resolved he might be looking to try again.

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9. They Want Sex

Guys usually miss the sex. If it is late at night or he has been drinking, you are probably a booty call. He might just be horny and has no one else to call, you are easy and familiar. Consider what you want before hooking up with him.

If you have strong feelings for him and you’re looking for a serious relationship, it may be best to avoid getting back together solely for physical purposes. This could leave you feeling hurt and add to the pain of your breakup.

10. They Are Less Busy

He may have been extremely busy and had no time for a relationship. If he is less busy, for whatever reason, perhaps he wants to pursue things with you.

11. They Had a Fight with Their Girlfriend

Your man may come back if he has a fight with his new girlfriend. You are familiar and comfortable, and he might assume you are a sure thing.

I’d recommend not hooking up with him if he has a girlfriend. He is being a sleaze ball and is just using you. If you are trying to rekindle, wait till he breaks up with her to give him another shot.

12. They Are Lonely

Men come back because they are lonely. Though your relationship was not ideal, there were some good parts to it. This is what he misses. Your ex has decided he would rather have something right now rather than nothing.

If he is returning because he is lonely, consider if you want to engage. He will probably break up with you when he meets someone better or gets sick and tired of the relationship once again.

13. They Want Validation

Men sometimes come back to feel wanted by someone. We all seek validation. It is easy to validate yourself with an ex who you have history with. He may also want to get back together because he is attracted to what he does not have.

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14. They Need a Favor

Your man may come back when he needs something from you. Maybe he wants you to call your friend who gets him on a guest list. Perhaps he needs money from you, or he’d like to borrow something of yours.

Make sure you are clear of his motives so you don’t get taken advantage of.

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15. They Want a Backup Plan

You may be a backup plan, a “just in case.” He might want to keep you around so if he doesn’t find anyone better, he still has you.

I would steer clear of this situation. You deserve to be with someone who feels happy and lucky to be with you. You don’t want to be someone’s second choice.

16. They Want to Be Friends

Your ex could come back because he misses your friendship. He may no longer have any romantic interest, perhaps he just wants you to be in his life.

It is difficult to just be friends if either one of you have a romantic interest in the other. Consider what your friendship was like while you were dating. Consider what you really want.

Do Men Come Back

The majority of men come back within the first few months. It is difficult to forget the connection you once shared. Maybe they miss you, or want something from you. Perhaps they cannot find anyone better, or they’re on the rebound. Possibly they want another chance, or they’re just lonely.

Why Do Guys Come Back

Guys come back because they realize they can’t do any better, because they are looking for validation, because they are horny, because they feel bad about how things ended, because they are in a fight with their girlfriend, because they miss the good times you had together, or because they need a favor.

Why do men come back

Why Men Come back Months Later

Some guys come back after 3 months, some guys come back after 6 months. He may miss being with you, he might have realized he can’t find anyone better, maybe he’s ready to commit and looking for another chance, he could be on the rebound, perhaps he needs closure, or maybe he’s lonely and looking for a hookup. 

Why Do Men Come back After No Contact

  • He misses you
  • He’s lonely
  • He didn’t find anyone better
  • He’s changed
  • He wants to hook up
  • He thinks you’ve changed
  • He wants to see what you’re up to
  • He’s lazy
  • He feels bad

Why Men Come Back After You Ignore Them

Men come back after you ignore them because all guys want what they cannot have. They crave the validation they once had from you. By coming back they are being reactive. This is a good place to be in, you can decide whether or not you want him back.

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When Do Men Come Back

Men come back when they have reflected on the relationship and finally recognize their faults. Through introspection, guys are able to mature and grow. Maybe he has changed, he may be looking for another chance, perhaps he’s ready to commit, he could just be lonely, or possibly he is just looking for sex.

Will He Come Back After Working on Himself

He may come back after working on himself. This depends on what he has realized about himself and the relationship. If he sees his faults and feels he can do better, or is now ready to commit, he may be looking for another chance. If he has decided you are the problem, he will probably move on and not come back.

How Often Do Men Come back After Leaving a Relationship

Experts say that 44% of all exes come back after leaving a relationship. This means that less than half of your boyfriends will return.

More Info: YouGov

What to Do When Men Come Back

  • Be open about your expectations and boundaries
  • If you are not interested, make it clear to your ex
  • Take things slowly
  • Make sure he has made some changes
  • Find out if he is dating anyone else
  • Communicate!
  • Consider what you want
  • Remain calm
  • Be nice
  • Discuss unresolved feelings and issues
  • Give him a chance


Men come back months later for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, they realize what they had was special and want to give the relationship another chance.

Perhaps he has gone through some personal growth or experienced another failed relationship which made him appreciate you. Curiosity and missing your time together can play a role, leading him to reconnect.

It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your ex to determine if getting back together is the right decision. If you decide it is not, accept the breakup and move on with you life. You deserve someone who appreciates and values your time and attention.

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.