When you’re looking forward to a new lover (or potential one) texting you back, the waiting game can be excruciating. This gets even worse if it takes longer than expected for him to get back to you! So, what do you do when a guy apologizes for texting late? Well, that all depends on why it happened…
What Does It Mean When a Guy Apologizes for Not Texting Back or Texting Late?
If he’s apologizing for not texting you back (or texting back late), that’s a really good sign. It means that you’re important enough to him that he’s trying to be proactive in talking to you. Furthermore, it tells you that he’s got enough integrity to explain himself when and if you’re expecting a text and you don’t get one.
1. He Got Really Busy
He may have wanted to text you a dozen times, but something else came up that needed his immediate attention. Work could have gotten insanely busy, or he might have been called into intense meetings.
2. Time Got Away from Him
Have you ever been really caught up in something, only to look up and realize that several hours had passed? That happens to a lot of other people too. This situation is similar to the one above, only it involves internal processes rather than external influence. Instead of being distracted, he was just concentrating or otherwise absorbed.
3. He May Have Fallen Asleep
Chances are you’ve experienced a situation where a few days of insomnia or serious stress have made you toddler drop at 6 pm. If you’re waiting for a text and don’t receive one for hours, it’s possible dude just passed out cold.
4. Something Unexpected Occurred
Have you ever completely freaked out because you didn’t hear from someone, only to find out that they accidentally killed their phone? All that worry and imagining probably disappeared as soon as you found out. Then you likely had a good laugh, related a story about how it’s happened to you too.
5. He May Be Dealing with A Lot Internally
If he’s going through some intense stuff, he might not have the emotional or mental bandwidth to communicate. Some people immerse themselves in doing stuff when they’re stressed or anxious. They’ll clean the house, or work, or talk to their friends. Others clam up and internalize, wanting to just be left alone.
6. You May Be Reading Too Much Into Things
When it comes to a guy texting “late”, there’s a lot to be said about what it is, exactly, that’s expected of him. If you’re looking forward to hearing from him, and thus expecting that he texts you back within a certain time period, that’s understandable. But it’s also important to remember that other people’s lives don’t revolve around our wants and expectations.
Additionally, keep in mind that guys generally don’t place as much importance on texting as women do. For most men, texting is just a simple way to keep in touch. When they hear from someone, great: they won’t analyze what was said, and how long it took that person to say it.
If you’re wracking your brain trying to understand what it might “mean” that he’s texting late, take a deep breath. It’s possible it doesn’t “mean” anything at all. It’s simply a response that came a bit later than what you wanted, or expected.
Is this guy texting you? Then he likes you. Furthermore, if he’s apologizing, then you mean something to him.
All kinds of things can happen that may prevent someone from replying in a timely manner. If he’s apologizing for leaving you on read, he wants you to think highly of him.
How to Respond When He Finally Texts You Back
That really depends on what he said when he texted.
Let’s say he explained that he’s texting you late because of a family emergency. If he’s sincere, and doesn’t seem to just be giving you a line, then you might want to express some concern. Letting him know that you care is important, and will show him that you’re invested in his wellbeing.
Similarly, if he got busy with work or school, ask him how things are going. Even better, ask him if there’s some way you can help. This shows two things: a lack of neediness on your part, and that you’re willing to help and stand by him in difficult times. That can mean a lot to someone who’s going through a rough patch.
If you felt really distraught and worried because you didn’t hear from him, you can also express that. Just make sure you do it calmly and rationally, rather than being over-emotional. Instead of saying “I need you to text me more often” (or similar), you can let him know that you were worried about him. Tell him that it would mean a lot to you if he could touch base more regularly.
Once again, this shows that you care, but you’re not demanding. You’re voicing your own needs, while also respecting his boundaries. Relationships are all about a balance of give and take, and that extends to texting too.
Should I Apologize for Texting Late?
Let’s turn that around for a second. Do you appreciate it if and when he apologizes for texting late? If so, he’d probably appreciate you doing the same, right?
If the two of you were having a solid exchange and you just dropped off, you undoubtedly feel bad about it. Definitely let him know what happened so he doesn’t think you just got bored of talking to him.
As a general rule, if you’d want him to say sorry if the roles were reversed, then you should do so too.
Also, ask yourself if this is a situation you honestly need to apologize for. Many who have been in less-than-healthy relationships are used to “people pleasing” and saying “sorry” a lot. Especially when it wasn’t needed—just as a measure of self-protection to avoid potential conflict.
Are you apologizing for not texting back immediately because you’re afraid he’ll get mad and be mean to you if you don’t? Or are you legitimately letting him know that things got crazy at your end and you’re sorry for not texting back for three hours?
Apologies mean a lot more when they’re sincere, and when there’s a real reason for offering them. If you find that you’re saying you’re sorry quite often, look into your reasons why. If you have a therapist, consider talking to them about it to find out their insights as well.
Guys generally use texts for quick, efficient bursts of information. More often than not, if he’s texting late, it’s because he figured everything was okay and he didn’t need to continually check in. The two of you would communicate when circumstances allowed. The apology is to let you know that he may have wanted to text sooner, but didn’t get a chance to.
When a guy apologizes for texting late, it shows integrity on his part. He’s showing kindness and decency, and showing you that you’re important enough to him that he’s holding space to communicate with you. Nobody owes anyone else an explanation for their actions (or lack thereof).
Additionally, it’s important to keep in mind that life happens. We may have expectations for others’ actions, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the world will unfold according to our wants. Work, school, family, fires, flooding, and various other issues and circumstances often prevent us from doing things when we want to.
If you’d appreciate patience and understanding from a guy when he apologizes late, make sure you show that same response to him in turn.