What to Text When a Guy Doesn’t Reply (Your Desperation-Free Options)

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Picture this:

You’ve been talking to a cute guy. Maybe you’ve been on a couple dates, maybe you haven’t, but you’ve been texting him lately and the conversations seem to go really well.

You feel a connection, so you assume he’s feeling a connection, too.

And then…nothing. He doesn’t reply to one of your texts.

The hours stretch on, and your seemingly thriving conversation fades away.

We’ve all been there. When you think it’s going great, it’s shocking when your guy suddenly falls into radio silence.

We promise: it’s not the end of the world. We’ll tell you what to text when a guy doesn’t reply, as well as what you shouldn’t do.

Absolutely Don’t Do These Things

When you first start dating, a huge part of developing your relationship will be avoiding common mistakes.

So here’s what you shouldn’t do when he doesn’t reply:

Don’t lose your cool.

You’ve come this far while keeping yourself calm and collected. There’s no reason to freak out now.

First, don’t forget that there are many reasons why he might not be answering. It’s not a guarantee that he’s losing interest in you at all.

He could have had an emergency, he might have gotten a call from someone, he might be caught up in work, his phone might have died…really, any number of things might have happened.

Don’t immediately jump to the worst-case scenario. Take a deep breath, then let it out.

Then find something else to distract yourself with in the meantime, whether it’s a night out with the girls or a show you’ve been meaning to get into.

Related Article: What to Text a Guy You Can't Stop Thinking About

Resist the urge to demand an answer.

"Nothing will turn him off quite as much as picking up his phone to see that you've demanding an explanation."

Like we said, there are tons of reasons why he may not be answering you. He may very well intend to get back to you as soon as he can.

So don’t give him a nasty shock by sending him a text asking why he didn’t answer. Nothing will turn him off quite as much as picking up his phone to see that you’ve demanded an explanation.

If he really did have some kind of emergency or reason for not answering, you’ll come out of this looking clingy and desperate. He probably doesn’t want to be with someone who can’t even stand a little time on her own.

Avoid flooding his phone with texts.

No matter what you send him, if you’re blowing up his phone with a few texts in a row, it’s going to look a little crazy when he finally returns to it.

Don’t let yourself give in to the anxiety. Because no, prodding at him with a string of messages is not going to make him pick up his phone and immediately answer you.

Think about how you would feel if you were in a meeting or talking to your family and your phone kept buzzing in your pocket. You wouldn’t want that to happen to you, so don’t do it to him.

VIDEO REVEALS: Secret 'Desire' text message that men are powerless to resist

You’re definitely better than that.

Don’t forget your worth.

You know that little negative voice in your head that sometimes tells you you’re not good enough?

Mute it. Drown it out with music, friends, laughter, movies, books, whatever makes you feel confident and strong.

You might start worrying here that he’s no longer into you, that you scared him off, or that he’s talking to another woman he likes more. Ignore those thoughts.

Even if he were starting to lose interest, it’s not such a big deal. If he steps back, there will be plenty of men that will be willing to step into his place for you down the road.

You Might Also Like: What to Text Back When a Guy Calls You Cute (That Keeps Him Hooked)

What (and When) to Text When a Guy Doesn’t Reply

Truthfully, there aren’t as many things you can do when he’s not texting you back, because in this case, it’s better in general if you don’t do anything.

That being said, there are few different options you can take in this situation:

Wait for a day or two, then text him again.

"Waiting for a day or two gives him some space, since he may have been caught up in something."

Whatever you do, don’t text him back again right away. This will paint you in a tremendously unflattering light.

It will look like you’re begging him to keep talking to you, and nothing is less attractive than someone pleading for your conversation. You shouldn’t lower yourself to this level.

Waiting a day or two gives him some space, since he may have been caught up in something. While you’re waiting, take an unbiased look at your last text to make sure it was the kind of message the average person would respond to.

It’s possible you worded your text in such a way that he didn’t know you were expecting a response. One-word messages and rhetorical questions are examples of things he might not know how to answer.

Want to make it so he’s always interested in answering you ASAP? Check out the Text Chemistry Course, designed by a relationship expert named Amy North with experience helping thousands of women around the world with dating.

Read Also: What to Text Back When a Guy Calls You Beautiful

Follow up with him again if your last text was time-sensitive.

This option applies more if you had plans or a date set up that day.

If you’ve texted him to confirm the details, and he hasn’t answered, you’re completely justified in following up with him again. He might have missed your text, he could have gotten busy since you sent it…

At any rate, to avoid being stood up, you need confirmation that he’s actually going.

Send him a text a few hours before you’re supposed to meet. Tell him you’ve haven’t heard from him, so you’re just following up again to make sure the plans are still on.

Read Also: How to Text a Guy (The Ultimate Guide)

Give him a time frame. Tell him that if you don’t hear back within an hour or two, you’ll assume the plans are off for the time being, so you’ll make other plans.

If you’d like him to reschedule, add something at the end letting him know you’d be interested in seeing him at another time. Just make sure you set the possibilities a little farther out so you’re not too available – say, maybe in a few days or a week.

Example: “Hey, I haven’t heard from you, so I’m just following up to confirm we’re still on for tonight at six. If I don’t hear from you in the next couple hours, I’m going to assume something came up and make other plans.”

Read Also: What to Text a Guy After He Cancels a Date 

Check on him with a lighthearted message.

Are you unable to focus on anything else until you’ve checked on him?

Okay, we get it. Anxiety is a normal response in this case – just don’t let it get the best of you.

If you simply can’t forget it right now, you can attempt to send him one last text in the event he’s just forgotten to reply. When you do, however, keep it lighthearted and as humorous as possible.

Making it fun will prevent him from seeing you as desperate for his response. It will show off your dazzling wit and good humor while making him feel as if you aren’t pressuring him for an immediate answer.

Plus, even if you do really care about it, keeping it humorous lets him know you can shrug it off if he doesn’t answer you.

Example: “Base to *his name.* Checking to see what your status is. Over and out.”

See Also: 40+ Dirty Things to Dare a Guy Over Text

The easiest option: don’t text him at all.

"If he won't appreciate what you have to offer, there are other men who will step up to the plate."

Further Reading: 15+ Things to Text a Guy to Make Him Like You

Have you felt him getting cooler in the days leading up to his missing response? Have you already waited a couple days and received no answer from him?

Then not texting him again at all is by far your best choice. That’s because he may have just started ghosting you.

But a quick reminder: it’s his loss. You’ve heard a million times that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and that’s because it’s true.

If he won’t appreciate what you have to offer, there are other men who will step up to the plate. It’s truly not the end of the world for you when it comes to romance.

All that aside, sometimes, the connection just isn’t there for guys. You don’t always feel something for everyone who shows interest in you, right?

Don’t grasp at straws here. Let it roll off your shoulders and go on living your life on your terms.

Read also: What to Text a Guy After Being Ghosted 

How to Keep Him Hanging On Your Every Word

Related Article: 10 Things to Text a Guy to Make Him Blush (That Work Every Time)

There’s nothing quite as disappointing as watching someone you like lose interest in you. When it happens time and time again, it starts to seem like there must be something wrong with you.

This isn’t necessarily the case. Maybe your texting game just needs a little boost.

Texting is a huge part of communication nowadays, so if you’re not very good at it…well, it can cause a budding relationship to wilt.

Our suggestion is to look into resources like the Text Chemistry course, which was created by Amy North. Using psychology, she’s created a program designed to help women in all walks of life write texts that will have any man swooning.

Click here to learn more about her course.