33 Signs of a Desperate or Needy Man (Watch These Red Flags)

What are the signs of a desperate or needy man? Read on below and explore these 33 red flags, and watch for them!

Signs a Man is Desperate or Needy

1. He Talks Too Much

couple talking leaning against the wall

When a man seems to do all the talking, all the time, it’s possible he is desperate or needy to remain at the forefront of your attention. Talking too much is also a sign that he may be intimidated by you, or he doesn’t want to give you a chance to express yourself.

2. He’s Always Extra Sweet

Sometimes the guys who are always extra sweet, and always seem to go the extra mile, are actually acting out of desperation and neediness. Versus acting out of genuine sweetness, these needy-greedy pretenders will milk the sweet and caring act, showering you with “affection”, for as long as you let them.

3. He Gives You Ultimatums 

partners having issues

If your man is giving you a lot of hard choices to make, it may be a red flag that you’re dealing with a needy/desperate person. That’s because guys that give ultimatums regularly are often seriously desperate for things to go a certain way(their ways, not yours).

4. He Loses All Interest in His Friends

When a guy suddenly loses all interest in his friends, and anything they previously had invested in together, to be with you 24/7, you don’t need a roadmap or GPS to find your way to the conclusion: he is most definitely needy/desperate for your attention.

5. He Wants the Relationship to Move Faster

Sometimes when guys are desperate for things to move faster, they become even needier and needier, trying to dominate all of your time and attention to accelerate the process.

6. He’s Stalking You on Social Media

spying on her phone

If he’s stalking you across all of your social media, he’s more than likely at least borderline desperate for you to notice him…why else would he spend countless hours liking every single one of your posts?

7. He Never Gives You Any Space

Guys who are severely needy are desperate for all of your time… and often for all of your space as well. If he is constantly smothering you and freaks out whenever you’re not around even for a little while, you’re definitely dealing with one desperate compadre.

8. He Seems to Enjoy Arguing

couple having argument

When a guy seems to really enjoy arguing with you and even goes as far as to constantly start little fights, he’s desperate about the situation and is trying to somehow temporarily gain the upper hand.

9. He Wants to Be Included In All Activities

Desperate men can be just as clingy or more so than desperate women. That mean’s he’ll want to be involved in all of your activities. It won’t matter if it’s going to the nail salon or having drinks on a “girls” night out.

10. He’s Constantly Doing Too Much for You

couple trying to lace her sandals

Guys that seem to always be doing a little too much for you probably are doing it out of needy desperation to be with you or at the very least a focal point of your attention. Whether it’s jewelry, weekend getaways, or simply checking in on you and surprising you with your favorite things, it could indeed be that he is actually scared of losing you or wants things to progress quicker.

11. He’s Always Asking for Reassurance

When he’s asking for reassurance about things like his looks, his job, or his basic decisions, constantly… it may be a red flag that he is actually a very desperate and needy man that seeks your attention.

12. He Always “Misses” You

It’s ok for men to miss their partners, in fact, they should miss them when they are away. But, texting, messaging, emailing, and calling you constantly with full-on “I miss you” vibes when you’ve only been gone for an hour or two. The biggest red flag is when this behavior begins at the start of the relationship.

awkward feeling looking at phone

13. He Always Questions Your Friend’s Motives

When dudes are constantly questioning the motives and mindsets of their girlfriends/wives’ friends it is a red flag. It means that your man doesn’t trust them, or trust you with them. It also means that he could be a bit needy of your attention.

14. He Likes to Make You Feel Bad

Guys that actually go out of their way, and enjoy, making you feel bad about things, including yourself, are acting like desperate needy scoundrels. Quite frankly? You’re probably better off without these sorts of jerks in your life messing with your head(and heart).

15. He is Constantly Making You Question Your Feelings

Speaking of men that like to make you feel bad about yourself, some guys target your feelings specifically about your relationship with them and make you question yourself. It is a desperate and needy act to keep you in their lives.

16. He Only Pretends to Listen

male listens to partner

Men that are desperate to be with you, and are feeling needy for all your attention, will only pretend to listen. They won’t actually hear what you’re telling them when you get into how you feel, want, think, and need.

17. He’s Pressuring You to Get “Intimate” Quickly

It is a major red flag that a guy is needy for something if he is pushing you to get physical too quickly. His desperation, however, may not exactly be for your affection… if you catch our drift.

18. He Isn’t Supportive of Your Goals

male stoping his partner

When guys aren’t supportive of your goals, it could be because they are jealous of your plans and ambition. He could also show a lack of interest in your plans because he is desperate to become/remain one of your most important goals.

19. He Never Compliments You

Guys that never ever compliment you, but seem to enjoy/seek compliments from others tend to be on the needy side. That said, being a little needy is one thing and being desperate for attention is another.

20. He’s Never Introduced You to His Family or Friends

If weeks and months go by and he has never taken the time to introduce you to his family or his friends, something is definitely off in the equation. It’s possible that he’s desperate for your attention now, but doesn’t plan on a long-term relationship with you.

21. He’s Always Checking Out Other Women

couple hugging man checks phone

Guys that are always busy checking out other women, even when they are with their significant other, are walking red flags. This kind of behavior is a clear indicator that deep inside these guys are needy/desperate for the attention(and quite possibly even more) of any/all females who’ll give it to them.

22. He’s Not Comfortable Around Your Family

When you get a man around your family and he just never seems to be comfortable, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s up to no good. In fact, until they’ve spent some time around each other and gotten to know each other a bit, both parties may feel some discomfort.

But, as the relationship progresses, if he never seems to open up to them or feel comfortable in their presence, you’ve got yourself a major red flag on your hands. It’s a neon sign that he’s desperate for them not to get to know the real him.

23. He Needs to be the Center of Attention

neglecting partner busy with gadgets

Some guys are truly Divas, needing and craving attention to the point that they constantly need to be right at the center of it. Obviously, these men are needy in very basic ways. The more desperate for the attention they are, however, the easier the signs are to notice.

24. He’s Cheating on You/His Partner

Every now and then, someone in a relationship cheats on the other person, and the cheated person forgives the cheater. If you’re the one doing the forgiving, don’t let them get away with murder because of your higher maturity level. Realize this red flag when you see it: if he’s cheating on you, or on his long-term partner(with you), he’s a very needy and desperate man.

25. He’s Always Calling You Crazy

Another common sign that a man may be needy or desperate is that he’s always calling you crazy. Normally this sort of behavior happens when the guy has something he’s hiding from you and doesn’t want you to find out. At any rate, regular name-calling is a big red flag.

26. He Takes Forever to Text Back

quietly sitting while holding phone

Sometimes guys are hot and cold or are playing hard to get, but sometimes the reason he’s taking forever to text back is that he’s so needy and desperate for your attention that he wants his wording to be perfect.

27. He Lets Your Calls Go to Voicemail

As with taking forever to text back when you message them, guys who always let your calls go to voicemail are either up to no good, are playing hot and cold/hard to get, or are possibly so desperate to make you feel a certain way that never answering when you call is one of the only options they have to use against you.

28. He’s Extremely Jealous When You Are Away 

man feeling worried hands in head

It’s a clear and immediate red flag that a guy is seriously desperate/needy when he becomes instantly and extremely jealous when you are out of his eyesight. If he is that way from the very beginning of the relationship, it is a sign that things will more than likely only get worse.

29. He Never Apologizes for Anything

When a guy never apologizes for anything, he is either a total buffoon, or he’s possibly so needy to always be right, and appear macho in front of others, that he possibly couldn’t fathom showing a sign of weakness(as in apologizing in front of others).

30. He Always Blames You for Everything Bad

couple argument blaming his partner

Speaking of the men who never apologize for anything, even when they are actually in the wrong, some extra needy men take it a step further and actually blame you for every single bad thing that happens. These guys are typically so desperate to always be right, and look macho to their friends, that they will even go out of their way to find things to blame you for.

31. He Threatens to Break Up With You Constantly

When a guy is constantly threatening to break up with you, there is a very strong possibility that he actually wants the very opposite thing. In his mind, threatening to break up with you will make you think about the potential of losing him. More or less he wants to force you back to your sense and to stay with him.

32. He Never/Rarely Keeps His Word

It doesn’t take a Steven Hawkins to break down the equation: when a man rarely keeps his word, he is a desperate man. Desperate for you to stay with him, needy for you to keep forgiving/believing him/taking him back time and time again.

partner in argument trying to stop her

33. He Doesn’t Talk About the Future 

Last but not least, a serious red flag many of us tend to overlook is when our significant others don’t talk about the future. If he doesn’t talk about the future, perhaps he doesn’t see a future with you in it? Next time you’re chatting, mention a few thoughts about the future and gauge his reaction!


What is an Emotionally Needy Man?

Emotionally needy men want to spend all their time with you. Eventually, they expect you to want to spend all of your time with them as well, with no friends, family, or other interruptions. They call and text you non-stop, and may show up at your home, workplace, or hangouts all times of the day as well.

How Can You Tell a Man is Needy?

All of the 33 red flags listed above are clear indicators that a man is potentially needy/desperate. A few of the biggest ones are men who are always lying, never compliment you, are extremely jealous, don’t like your friends or family, and aren’t actually supportive of you and your life/goals.

What Are Obvious Red Flags in a Guy?

The most obvious red flags that a guy is needy/desperate include him calling you non-stop, texting you constantly, stalking your social media, and showing up wherever you are unexpected. Other obvious red flags include never talking about the future, trying to make you feel bad about yourself, and taking forever to text and call back.

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!