How to Know When a Guy is in the Mood (25 Obvious Signs)

Most of the time it’s not exactly rocket engineering to figure out when a guy is turned on, other times… it’s more complicated. Read on below and explore these 25 obvious signs that clue you in on how to know when a guy is in the mood!

How to Know When a Guy is in the Mood

1. He Stares At You Intensely

laughing couple staring at her partner

The first tell-tale sign that he’s in the mood, on our list, is that he stares at you intensely. Maybe the conversation has turned steamy and got him in the mood, or maybe it’s just basic attraction, but when he can’t take his off of you it’s a clear indicator that he’s in the mood!

2. His Voice Gets Deeper and Softer

A lot of the time, when a guy is turned on, he’ll lower his voice to a deep but gentle pitch. Many guys claim they aren’t even aware that they do it. Sub-consciously, he is hoping that the deeper and softer tone of his voice makes you feel safe and comfortable, and possibly even helps get you in the mood.

3. He Can’t Sit Still and Fidgets

When nothing major is happening, and he doesn’t have somewhere to be, but he can’t seem to sit still, his fidgeting could be a sign that he’s in the mood. Typically, this behavior is due to him either thinking you’re not getting in the mood, or you’re taking too long to get there!

4. He’s Licking His Lips

man touching his lips

When a guy is staring you down, and licking his lips, it is one of the most obvious signs there is that he is in the mood. It’s the same sort of hunger-induced lip-licking action that goes on in Mcdonald’s lobbies around the world on a daily basis as people with rumbling tummies eyeball the combo meals their about to order and devour.

5. His Nostrils Flare

If his nostrils start flaring open and close like a Russian racehorse trying to catch its breath after the Kentucky Derby, or a prizefighter about to knock someone’s lights out, it’s another obvious sign that he’s in the mood… unless you’ve recently had an argument (in that case he could just be upset and thinking about punching holes in the wall).

6. He Tries Extra Hard

One sign that guys are in the mood is when they start trying extra hard at every little thing. For example, if they jump out of the car, slide across the hood, and whip the car door open for you before your seat beat is even unfastened when you reach your destination… he’s probably already in the mood. Other signs include complimenting you every other sentence they speak, telling everyone around how good you look, and running ahead to open the door for you.

opening car door for his partner

7. His Smile Never Fades

When a guy is always smiling around you, it’s a huge indicator that he really likes you a lot. That said, he could also just be a few crayons short of a full rainbow upstairs (a few fries and one coke short of a happy meal?), but let’s be positive! If you’re on a date, and he won’t stop smiling, it’s obvious he is in the mood.

8. His Eyes Burn Brighter

staring at each other in restaurant

Some guys get this fiery look to their eyes when they are in the mood. So, when you’re sitting across from each other in a booth for two at Red Lobster, and his eyes take on the hue of hellfire, and he is intensely staring you down, nostrils flailing like Seabiscuit after a hard run, white knuckles clenching his salad form just a little too firmly, and smiling for minutes at a time… it’s obvious that he’s in the mood. 

9. His Breathing Changes

Another tell-tale sign that a guy is in the mood is that his breathing changes noticeably. If you can notice the change, imagine how he must feel inside. Many guys admit they’ve felt close to passing out when they were extremely excited to get “lucky” with someone they were attracted to.

10. He Seems Hot Even if its Barely Warm

When he seems hot even when it’s cold or barely warm it’s an obvious sign that he is turned on. If it gets to the point that he starts taking clothes off… lookout because the situation in his head just moved to something beyond simply being in the mood!

11. He Ignores Everyone But You

staring at her drinking with friends

Some guys try to show you they are in the mood by shifting all of their focus on you. Whether you’re out on a date, in school, at work, or hanging out with friends… if he ignores everyone but you, chances are he is in the mood.

12. He Accidentally Touches You

Lots of accidental touches are another big sign that he is in the mood, especially if it is at school, work, church, or somewhere with lots of other people around. His bumping into you is really him saying “hey, I’m in the mood and want you to know it!”. Chances are, as soon as you’re alone, he’ll make his mood crystal clear to you.

13. He Intentionally Touches You

happy couple touching her face

Intentionally touching can look like accidental touching, or it can look like exactly what it is. If a guy deliberately touches your face, hand, or leg, or pulls you in for a hug, it could be a sign that he is in the mood and wants you to know all about it. If you are alone, the touching may lead to additional physical attention.

14. He Makes a Big Deal About Little Things

When a guy starts to make a great big deal about every little thing, in a good way, he’s more than likely in the mood. For example, on the way to your seats in the movie theatre, after ordering popcorn for his “beautiful date”,  if he announces “make way for my gorgeous date”… chances are he is already in the mood before the show even gets started.

15. He Points Out Commonalities

If he keeps pointing out your commonalities, during the movie you watch on your date, a lunch beforehand, and on the ride home afterward, there is a high chance that the guy is seriously in the mood. His main hope is that you realize you’re a match made in heaven before he drops you back off at your house (and that you’ll come back home with him instead).

16. His Body Langauge Gives Him Away

Some guys are cooler than others when it comes to controlling their body language. Other guys give themselves away every time they get in the mood. One major indicator is if he suddenly appears to have developed a hunched back, or he can’t keep his hands out of his pockets. Other indicators include rubbing the back of the neck, checking the time, and darting shifty eyes.

hiding hands in his pocket

17. He Starts Flirting Non-Stop

Confident guys start flirting non-stop the moment they start to feel the “mood” coming on. There will be no doubt in your mind as to if they are in the mood or not once they start up with their “game”. Verbally, and mentally, of course, they’ll practically have you in bed before you’re halfway through the date.

18. He Asks You to Leave/Be Alone with Him

Some guys are straight up with things: when they are in the mood, they tell you and ask you to leave and/or be alone with them. Where you’re at at the time doesn’t matter; whether it’s stepping outside, going home, or sliding into the broom closet for your 15-minute break if he’s REALLY into you, and in the mood, he’ll try to get you alone with him.

couple conversation sitting in floor

19. His Mood Seems to Swing Back and Forth

What might come off to everyone else as being moody, is actually him being in the mood and not knowing how to deal with it. If he thinks the mood isn’t reciprocated, his mood could go from good to sour quickly. Likewise, the moment he thinks you may be warming up to things, his bright and sunny disposition springs forward to take charge again.

20. He Acts Hot and Cold

Similar to guys with mood swings that give away how “in the mood” they are, some guys do so by acting hot and cold. The difference between guys who act hot and cold and those with mood swings is that they are doing it on purpose. Acting hot and then cold is their way of feeling you out and trying to get you in the mood, psychologically.

couple trying to comfort her partner

21. He Seems to Careless

While many guys aren’t charismatic or smooth enough to pull off a careless attitude when the mood takes them over, some are. If a guy is super into you, is in the mood, but doesn’t want you to know, he may suddenly become, seemingly, more careless or rebellious about things. The truth is that he wants to go somewhere and be alone with you… he just wants you to be the one to suggest it.

22. He Keeps Eyeballing You

friends laughing hard outdoors

Say you’re not on a date, you’re just hanging out with some friends, and this guy keeps is staring at you every time you glance in his direction. He may be eyeballing you because he’s into you. Likewise, if you’re with friends, and one guy friend, in particular, can’t take his eyes off of you, you could be in the mood when you’re around.

23. He Makes You the Center of Everyone’s Attention

Some guys have this interesting habit of trying to make you the center of everyone’s attention when they are in the mood. Whether you’re around friends, family, on a date, or hiking through the remote wilderness (in which case he points out your amazing smile to every Spruce, your admirable intelligence to each Pine, and your beautiful personality to every oak) he takes every chance he has to shine the spotlight on the things about you that turn him on.

24. He Gets Upset with Other Guys

If a guy is upset with everyone another guy comes around, it could be simple jealousy. It could also be that he is in the mood and doesn’t want anyone raining on his parade before it gets up and underway. The moodier he is around other guys may be an indicator of how much in the mood he really is.

25. He Tells You as Much

Some guys don’t play around with it at all: when they are in the mood they tell you as much. Whether it is a text, a whisper in the ear, or a smack on the rear, they will most definitely let you know the minute they themselves know. Sometimes it’s as simple as that, ladies! 

flirting couple whispering in her ear


What happens to a guy when he is in the mood?

There are several things that may happen to a guy when they are in the mood. The most common is altered body language, sweaty palms, fiery eyes, labored breath, nostril flare, and issues with focus and attention (other than on you) in general. He may also either start to flirt, talk almost non-stop, or stop talking almost altogether, depending on his personality.

How do you tell if he wants to kiss you?

Guys have several tell-tale signs that give away the fact that they want to kiss you. A few of the most common ways to tell include he is flirting, he stares intently into your eyes, his voice getting softer and deeper, he licks his licks, his face is red, and his body language changes. When his cheeks turn red, his chest is heaving, and his palms are dripping sweat, he’s struggling to maintain his cool.

How do you tell if a man secretly likes you?

There is an endless number of signs that a guy secretly likes you. The most obvious signs are that he smiles when he sees you, his face gets pinkish red around you, he goes out of his way to see you often, he makes promises to you and keeps them, and he makes up excuses for you/to see you. 

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!