How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Using Male Psychology

Look anywhere online, and you’ll see tons of articles talking about a number of tricks you can use to get any man back.

The problem is, those tricks may or may not work. No two men are exactly alike, and the strategy that drives one wild with passion could annoy another.

However, there is one thing that’s true of all men: they’re wired a little bit differently from women. A combination of hormones and societal expectations shapes them so they have a unique psychology.

We know what you’re wondering: can you use this psychology to win the affections of your ex-boyfriend?

The short answer is yes. However, there’s a “but” here.

So the full answer is yes, but the same psychological strategies won’t work on every single man in the world.

What we’ll be doing today is showing you some of the most commonly effective ones that work on the most men.

Should You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back?

In response to the headline above, you’re probably thinking something like, “Of course I should get him back!”

Why else would you be here, right?

But it’s still a critically important question to examine. Sometimes, we let our emotions get the best of us, and this is even more of an issue after a breakup.

So let’s examine when you should or shouldn’t actually pursue your ex-boyfriend.

When all signs say go….

"If he's bringing toxicity, abuse, or excessive jealousy to the table, maybe you should open the menu again and order something better."

Related Article: How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend to Fall in Love With You Again

If your ex is still single, that’s the first good sign. However, it is far from the only aspect to consider.

Think about your actual relationship itself. Consider if he treated you well.

In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend should still take you on dates, remember your likes and dislikes, share some of your hobbies, and respect you.

While we don’t think a relationship should ever “complete” you (you should be a complete person yourself!), a good one should improve aspects of your life you may have never anticipated. Beyond making you happy, your boyfriend should actually contribute to your life in some way.

Or, to put it kind of coldly, it should be beneficial for you to be with your ex. If he’s bringing toxicity, abuse, or excessive jealousy to the table, maybe you should open the menu again and order something better.

When you should move on…

Like being single is a good sign, him being taken could be a bad one.

Depending on how soon his new relationship started after yours ended, she could be a rebound. In which case, it’s possible for you to win him back.

If it’s a deeply committed relationship, though, we recommend keeping your distance. You’ll only cause heartbreak for yourself.

The other huge reason for not getting back together is if the relationship you had was unhealthy. You shouldn’t waste your time or your heart on men who are abusive, overly possessive, or otherwise toxic to you.

We discuss this topic a little more in-depth in our guide on how to get your ex-boyfriend back from a bad breakup.

Read Also: How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When He Has Moved On

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Using Male Psychology (and Proven Tricks)

Since you’re at this point in the guide, we’re guessing that you’ve determined your ex is really worth having back.

So let’s get to the good stuff, then: the tricks you can uses to tap into him psychologically.

Again, though, let us say that men aren’t all exactly the same. You can’t put them into neatly defined boxes and say what will work on one will work on all the others.

The following strategies are just some of the most effective ones we’ve ever seen. It’s possible that one alone won’t work on your ex-boyfriend, so you may need to try a combination of them.

That being said, let’s take a closer look…

Tempt him with the thrill of the hunt.

"In the arena of love, men like to think of themselves as hunters."

In the arena of love, men like to think of themselves as hunters.

Most will see a woman across a bar and not immediately think of committing to her. They instead think of pursuing her as a game – one that gets even more entertaining to play the harder it is to win.

In fact, playing this game is oftentimes their favorite part. The victory is so much sweeter in the end when the game has been hard.

When you use this strategy, think of imitating a slot machine. You’ll tease him with flirts here and there that are like small payouts, which keep him playing.

But you don’t give him the jackpot after just a few tries. If it were that easy, everyone would play, wouldn’t they?

Like the first payout that gets someone interested, you’ll reach out to him to initiate a conversation. We recommend doing this after a no contact period for the most effectiveness.

Then, once the conversation gets started, don’t make yourself too available. Don’t respond to every text right away as if your life depended on it.

Take your sweet time, because then he’ll cherish every text he gets that much more.

Eventually, when you see him in person again, flirt with him once more. But don’t give into him right away – just drop occasional flirty hints, like a playful smirk or a light touch on his shoulder before you leave.

Texting him will be vital to your plan to get him back. We recommend taking a look if you could use some more advice when it comes to texting.

Remind him that there’s competition.

Competition gets just about any man’s heart pumping. By adding a little to the chasing game you’re crafting for him, you’ll drastically increase his interest.

The problem with this is that there’s a really fine line to walk. You don’t want to constantly go on and on about all the people who want you now.

You’ll likely just tick him off. He’ll block you or roll his eyes and do his best to ignore you, because it will seem like rubbing salt in the wound.

You also increase the chances he’ll see right through you if you keep talking about other people.

The absolute best way to remind him there’s competition is naturally. For instance, if you’re hanging out with him again, wear something flattering and sit back while he notices all the eyes on you.

Or post a picture to your social media accounts when you’ve had your hair done or did your makeup – any time where you’re just feeling good about yourself. Let the compliments roll in and do the work for you.

Don’t let him think you need him.

"Make yourself into a force to be reckoned with."

This part ties in to all the chasing we’ve described. You’ll take all the fun out of it for him if you tell him too soon that you need him.

Stop yourself from begging him for a second chance or telling him right away that you’re still madly in love with him.

Make yourself into a force to be reckoned with. Get into fitness, get that makeover, dive into that hobby that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for.

Become the woman you’ve always wanted to be. You’ll feel confidence rushing in, and with that confidence, your ex-boyfriend will be drawn to you.

Want to make yourself even harder to resist? Let him know that he’s just your friend (for now).

Ask him for advice and talk to him as you would any other guy friend. You’ll have him chomping at the bit to win you over in no time.

Blow his mind by stroking his ego.

Men especially like to feel as if they’re the best.

They like to be the best you’ve ever “had,” the best kisser, the best romantic, the best everything in your life. That’s due largely to their competitive nature.

And let’s be honest here: who doesn’t like feeling they’re the best at something?

It’s another psychological feature you can use to your advantage. It doesn’t mean, though, that you should be dousing your ex in compliments.

Too many will quickly sound inauthentic, and he’ll catch on to what you’re doing.

But you can go to him and ask him for advice on something only he would know. Pick something that you know he’s an expert on.

Let’s pretend he’s an excellent cook, and you’re trying to make his specialty. You could text him saying you need his guidance on it, and you think only he could tell you what to do.

Further Reading: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Always in My Dreams? (Your Dreams Decoded)

Dress to impress (without seeming like it).

The next time you see him, it’s time to wow him with your looks.

You should wear something that makes you feel beautiful and confident. Your goal here is to look your best, but without seeming as if you’ve tried too hard.

In other words, leave your sexiest outfit at home and pick something else gorgeous. Think about what you would wear for a meal out with a group of your closest friends, for instance.

The benefit to this is twofold: your ex will be drawn to you, and your confidence will have other men checking you out, too. (Assuming you see him somewhere in public, like a bar or restaurant).

When he sees other people checking you out or basks in the glow of your confidence, he’ll know he has to take it up a notch if he ever wants to win you back.

Recommended Article: How to Use Reverse Psychology to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Take Your Romance Game to New Heights

Related Article: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Acting Like a Jerk?

Using his psychology is one way to increase your chances of getting back together with him. However, even we don’t know every trick in the book.

See Also: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Avoiding Me? (And How to Make Him Stop)

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!