How To Flirt Over Text and In Person: Ultimate Guide

How to flirt over text and how to flirt in person are skill sets that can be learned. There is a right way and a wrong way to flirt.

Here you will learn the right way to flirt so you can show you are attracted to someone, open up the possibility of a romantic connection, and make interactions more exciting.

How to Flirt Over Text

How to be flirty over text is a bit different than flirting in person. You cannot see the other person’s body language or expressions, so you don’t know their tone of voice.

1. Be Confident

Confidence is important for attraction. Recognize your self-worth and all the amazing qualities you bring to the table. Remember, you are more than enough!

It’s completely natural to feel nervous. Just bear in mind that you are a terrific person, and anyone would feel fortunate to have the opportunity to get to know you better.

Enter each interaction believing the other person likes you. If they don’t share your feelings, they’ll communicate it. Put yourself out there. Let someone reject you, rather than you rejecting yourself.

Understand that not every person you like will like you back. There are countless people to meet, and plenty of them will share your feelings. These are the ones you are looking for. 

2. Mirror the Other Person’s Texting

Your texts should look similar to the other person’s texts. If they write a long text, you should write a long text. If they double text, you should double text. Sometimes you can break this rule, yet generally you should follow it.

3. Vary Your Texts

Mix up the types of texts you send. Sometimes send a long text, sometimes send a short text. Sprinkle in photos and videos to spice things up.

Make sure to send emojis. They are super flirty and fun. To know how many emojis to send, consider how many the other person sends. Try to send a similar amount.

Most of the time when texting you don’t want to double text. Generally it is best to wait to receive a text back before texting again. When flirting, sometimes it is ok to double text. It shows interest.

Varying your texts is like varying your tonality. This is a great way to capture interest and increase attraction.

4. Use The Person’s Name

Everybody likes to feel important and special. One of the best ways to do this is by using someone’s name in a text. When you use a person’s name while flirting it shows that you value the person.

This is a simple trick that makes people feel good and builds a close connection. Using someone’s name leads to increased attraction.

5. Compliment Non-Physical Attributes

Giving compliments is great when you are flirting because everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. Make sure to compliment about something on the inside, not on how someone looks on the outside.

Tell them how kind they are, how smart they are, or how they always make you laugh. This shows that you really see the person for who they are and you genuinely care about getting to know them better.

When you do this, the other person will feel special and liked for the right reasons. It will lead to a deeper connection, more flirting, and more attraction.

6. Playfully Tease and Joke Around

Playfully teasing someone is a fun and easy way to build the tension. It creates a nice rapport and a good vibe, which leads to attraction.

Make sure to keep the teasing light. Stay away from topics that are serious or could upset the other person. Jokingly tease about small, unimportant things in a way that makes the other person laugh.

The best way to tease is to wildly exaggerate or agree in a silly way. And be able to take it when you are getting teased back. Have fun with it, being teased means the person likes you.

All should be said with smiles and laughs. This is a perfect opportunity to deepen your connection and increase the attraction. 

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7. Be Positive and Enthusiastic

Being positive and enthusiastic when flirting is important because it creates fun and excitement that the other person will want to be part of it. Your attitude and mood is contagious and will cause others to act and feel the same way.

Positive feelings derived from good interactions will lead to increased levels of attraction.

8. Keep the Conversation Light & Fun

It is important to keep the conversation light and fun when flirting. Your goal should be to create light-hearted banter, smiles, and laughter. This is not the time to be serious.

Flirty energy is carefree and opens up the conversation for you both to be playful. It is easier to connect and enjoy each other’s company when there aren’t any major expectations.

Flirting is a great opportunity for you to show your sense of humor and your spontaneous side, which can be very attractive.

9. Throw in Flirty Texts

A flirty text makes it clear that you are not interested in just being friends. The text should be somewhat sexual in nature, and can amp up your friendly non-sexual relationship to a budding romance.

• I’m learning about important dates in history, wanna be one?
• Let’s go on an adventure together, clothing is optional.
• Did you hear about the sale, clothing is 100% off tonight.
• Just wanted to let you know, I had a dirty dream about you last night 😉
• Kissing is my love language, let’s start a conversation 😘

FOR MORE FLIRTY TEXTS CHECK OUT:

101 Flirty Texts To Send Him – Best Ones

101 Flirty Texts For Her – Best Ones

10. Move the Interaction Forward

When flirting, it is important to move the interaction forward. When things are going well, you must do or say something that steers the relationship to the next level. 

Suggest grabbing a drink sometime. Ask if they are around this weekend. Anything that progresses things forward works well. You don’t want to become someone’s text buddy.

When you attempt to advance the interaction, you show that you are a person of action and you know what you want. This is an attractive quality.

Trying to make plans forces the other person to decide whether or not they are interested. Great if they are, and at least you won’t waste any more time if they are not.

11. Be Ok With Rejection

Being ok with rejection is important because not every interaction will lead to a romantic connection. Rejection is a perfectly normal part of life and should be viewed as positive. It shows that you tried.

Embracing the possibility of rejection means you have a healthy mindset. This attitude encourages respectful and mature behavior, and shows that you value other people’s feelings and time.

Accepting rejection helps you maintain your self-esteem. It shows that you recognize rejection is not failure, it is simply an indication that the fit wasn’t right this time. 

You have to take chances when it comes to romance. If someone is not interested, you are better off knowing now rather than wasting your time. That is why I like to be flirty right from the beginning.

Don’t apologize if someone is not interested, you did nothing wrong. Politely move on.

How to Flirt With a Guy Over Text

Check out our list below to learn how to flirt with a guy on text. This list is also good to learn how to flirt with a boy over text.

1. Vary your greetings – Hey you, Hey mister, Heyyy, Hiiii
2. Send flirty emojis 
3. Write longer texts
4. Use his name
5. Casually mention you are available for plans
6. Say slightly sexual things – “I’m jumping in the shower” or “I’m changing into my pjs”
7. Respond to his texts quicker than normal
8. Compliment him
9. Be playful and silly
10. Tease him
11. Listen to what he says and show interest

When learning how to flirt over text with a guy, consider this list and see what works best. Learning how to flirt with guys over text takes trial and error. All guys are different.

How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text

1. Send flirty emojis 
2. Write longer texts
3. Use her name
4. Move the interaction forward by mentioning plans
5. Say slightly sexual things – “I had a dream about you last night, you should be ashamed of yourself.”
6. Respond to her texts quicker than normal
7. Compliment her
8. Be playful and silly
9. Tease her
10. Listen to what she says and show interest

How to Be Flirty Over Text

The biggest indicator that someone is interested is that they are still there.

How to Flirt

1. Be Confident

Confidence is extremely attractive. Be comfortable with yourself, and feel good about who you are and what you have to offer. You are enough!

It’s ok to be a bit nervous, just know that you are a great catch and the other person would be happy and lucky to be with you.

Always assume the other person is interested. If someone is not feeling the same way as you, they will let you know. Always take a chance. Do not reject yourself! 

Not everyone is going to like you, this is perfectly normal. There are many people out there, you are looking for the ones who do like you, and many will.

2. Make Eye Contact

Look into someone’s eyes when flirting with them. The eyes are the windows to our soul. When you look into someone’s eyes it shows confidence and self assurance, which are very attractive qualities.

I would say “making eye contact” is the single most important thing you can do when flirting. Making eye contact allows for a deep connection, which causes attraction.

If you don’t make eye contact you may cause the other person to get turned-off. Luckily, eye contact can be learned and improved.

More Info: How To Make Unforgettable Eye Contact In Any Situation

3. Be Sure to Smile

Smiling is super important when flirting. It helps create a warm and welcoming atmosphere that shows you are non-threatening, kind, and nice.

When you smile you show friendliness, happiness, and confidence, qualities that make others want to be around you.

Smiling also helps boost your mood and makes people feel at ease.

4. Have Open Body Language

Face the person you are talking to, point your feet directly at them, and keep your hands and legs uncrossed. This creates a warm and relaxed vibe.

Open body language is super important when flirting because it says, “I’m engaged and interested in you.” It shows you are non-threatening, gives off positive energy, and invites the other person to open up also.

5. Have Good Posture

Stand tall with your shoulders back and your head held high. Having good posture makes a good first impression and leads to a better interaction. 

It signals that you are confident and attentive, and shows you are genuinely interested in the conversation. This leads to more attraction.

6. Have Good Hygiene

Good hygiene makes a great first impression and shows you have self-respect. When you are clean and fresh you look and feel your best.

Having good hygiene signals that you are a confident, high-value person who takes care of yourself. This causes others to want to be around you.

• Have good breath (carry mints) 
• Wear deodorant
• Brush your teeth
• Brush your hair
• Wear clean clothes
• Trim unwanted nose or eyebrow hair
• Make sure nothing is hanging out of your nose
• Cut your nails and keep them clean

7. Vary Your Facial Expressions

Varying your facial expressions while flirting shows you are engaged and interested, and makes your conversations richer, more exciting, and more lively. 

Facial expressions can help communicate your feelings more clearly.

For example, a smile can show happiness and approval, a surprised look can show interest and excitement, and a thoughtful expression can show that you are considering what the other person is saying. 

Facial expressions show that you are truly listening which leads to the other person feeling more connected and understood. This leads to attraction.

8. Mirror the Other Person’s Body Language

Mirroring is when you copy the other person’s body language. If their arms are crossed, cross yours. If they are leaning back, you lean back. 

Mirroring the other person’s body language when flirting subconsciously signals that you understand them and you are on the same page.

This leads to people feeling more connected, more engaged in the interaction, and more attracted to you.

9. Change Up Your Tone

When flirting you want to be seen as interesting and engaging, so the other person wants to flirt back. The best way to do this is to vary the tone of your voice.

Sometimes you might want to lower your voice, or speak slowly & purposefully, or take a pause. Doing these things creates tension, which leads to attraction and intrigue.

More Info: How To Have a Sexy, Confident Voice

10. Make Physical Contact

Making physical contact while flirting is very important to help create intimacy and build a closer connection. You want the other person to slowly get used to you touching them. 

Always respect the other person’s boundaries and make sure they are comfortable and the situation is appropriate. Start with small gestures, like a tap on the shoulder or arm to emphasize a joke. 

Carefully consider the reaction you get. Casually progress to a brief hand hold, then a hug, and eventually a kiss.

The key here is to be confident and assume the other person is interested. If you were in a relationship you would have no problem touching their hand or giving a hug. You have to work towards this.

Though you might feel uncomfortable you must challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone. People are attracted to confidence. Be a leader!

11. Use the Person’s Name

We all crave the feeling of importance. Hearing our name is the number one thing that gives us that feeling. Using a person’s name while flirting shows you value them, you are focused on them, and you consider them important.

It is an easy way to create a personal connection and make a person feel appreciated and special. This leads to attraction.

12. Compliment Non-Physical Attributes

Compliments are wonderful to give when flirting, we all like to hear nice things about ourselves. Yet most people do it wrong. DO NOT compliment someone on their physical appearance. This comes off as insincere and fake. 

Compliment someone on their kindness, their intelligence, or their great sense of humor. When you appreciate the unique qualities of a person you show that you value them for who they are on the inside. 

You give the message that you are interested in more than just looks, and you are taking the time to get to know them as a person.

This will make someone feel special and appreciated, and cause them to open up and share more about themselves. This leads to a deeper and more genuine connection, which will create more attraction.

13. Get Closer

When flirting, you want to gradually move into the other person’s personal space. Do this slowly to make sure they are ok with it, you always want to respect other’s boundaries.

Imagine you are in a relationship with this person. You would have no problem hugging them or kissing them. You wouldn’t think twice about stepping into their space.

You want to work towards this with someone you are flirting with. The way to do this is in small steps. Always consider the response you get. If the other person is ok with it, proceed getting closer and closer.

14. Look At Their Lips

Looking at someone’s lips occasionally when flirting shows you are attracted to them. It signals that you are thinking about the person in an intimate way, and want to kiss them. It is a good way to be clear about your intent.

15. Playfully Tease and Joke Around

Playfully teasing is a lighthearted way to show your interest and build the tension. Teasing and joking around creates a fun vibe and removes any stiffness from an interaction. This leads to attraction.

Avoid sensitive topics and never say anything personal that could hurt the other person’s feelings. Teases should be about insignificant things. They should be said jokingly. The best way to tease is to wildly exaggerate or agree in a ridiculous way.

Make sure you can also take it when you are the one getting teased. Have fun with it. When someone teases you it means they like you. 

EXAMPLE:

Someone drops their phone –

“Wow, you are so mean to your phone, you must really hate it, throwing it on the floor like that. I might have to report you to the phone abuse police.”

“Please, please don’t, I’m begging you. I am actually on phone abuse probation. If another incident is reported the phone police might come after me.”

All should be said with smiles and laughs. This is a perfect opportunity to deepen your connection and increase the attraction. 

16. Be Positive and Enthusiastic

Being positive and enthusiastic when flirting is important because it creates a fun and exciting atmosphere that will make the other person want to be part of it. Your attitude is contagious and will cause others to act and feel the same way.

Happy feelings derived from interactions will lead to increased levels of attraction.

17. Keep the Conversation Light & Fun

It is important to keep the conversation light and fun when flirting. Your goal should be to create light-hearted banter, smiles, and laughter. This is not the time to be serious.

Flirty energy is carefree and opens up the conversation for you both to be playful. It is easier to connect and enjoy each other’s company when there aren’t any major expectations.

Flirting is a great opportunity for you to show your sense of humor and your spontaneous side, which can be very attractive.

18. Throw in Flirty Lines

It is important to throw in flirty lines to be clear on your interest and intent. They help steer the conversation in a romantic direction and show you are not just looking to be friends. Flirty lines can help prevent you from getting friend-zoned.

Make sure to say them when the interaction is positive and going well. You should have a playful tone that shows that you are not being that serious.

Here are some examples:

• “Stop looking so hot, I am trying my best to control myself.”
• “You look like you are thinking about kissing me.”
• “You have a super sexy body, oh sorry, did I just say that out loud, it must be the low blood sugar.”

19. Move the Interaction Forward

When flirting, it is important to move the interaction forward. You must do or say something that steers the relationship to the next level. Do this only when things are going well.

This can be suggesting getting together for a date, trying to kiss the person, or saying something super flirty. Anything that progresses things forward works well.

When you take these steps to advance the interaction, you create a sense of anticipation and excitement and show that you are genuinely interested. 

This clearly shows your intent and forces the other person to decide whether or not they are onboard. You must find this out or you might waste a lot of time.

20. Be Ok With Rejection

Being ok with rejection when flirting is important because not every interaction will lead to a romantic connection. Rejection is a perfectly normal part of life and should be viewed as positive. It means you are trying.

Embracing the possibility of rejection means you have a healthy mindset. This attitude encourages respectful and mature behavior, and shows that you value other people’s feelings and time.

Accepting rejection helps maintain your self-esteem. It shows that you recognize rejection is not failure, it is simply an indication that the fit wasn’t right this time.

You have to take chances when it comes to romance. If someone is not interested, you are better off knowing now rather than wasting your time. That is why I like to be flirty right from the beginning.

Don’t apologize if someone is not interested, you did nothing wrong. Politely move on.

What Not to Do When Text Flirting 

1. Don’t be overly sexual
2. Don’t be negative or complain too much
3. Don’t talk about yourself too much
4. Don’t be unenthusiastic or boring
5. Don’t be reactive
6. Don’t apologize unnecessarily

How to Flirt With a Guy

1. Have open body language and good posture
2. Look into his eyes
3. Say flirty things – “I am so in need of a massage”
4. Casually touch him 
5. Look at his lips
6. Twirl your hair
7. Smile
8. Use his name
9. Vary your facial expressions
10. Mirror his body language
11. Bite your lip
12. Vary your tone
13. Compliment him
14. Be playful and silly
15. Tease him
16. Listen to what he says and show interest

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: 101 Texts That Will Make Him Want You (Obsess Over You)

How to Flirt With a Girl

1. Have open body language and good posture
2. Look into her eyes
3. Say flirty things – “I love that dress on you, and off you”
4. Casually touch her 
5. Look at her lips
6. Smile
7. Use her name
8. Vary your facial expressions
9. Mirror her body language
10. Vary your tone
11. Compliment her
12. Be playful and silly
13. Tease her
14. Listen to what she says and show interest

How to Flirt With Women

1. Have open body language and good posture
2. Look into her eyes
3. Say flirty things – “Been so stressed at work, wanna help me release some steam?”
4. Casually touch her 
5. Look at her lips
6. Smile
7. Use her name
8. Vary your facial expressions
9. Mirror her body language
10. Vary your tone
11. Compliment her
12. Be playful and silly
13. Tease her
14. Listen to what she says and show interest

How to Flirt With an Older Woman

Flirting with an older woman is all about being kind and showing interest. One good idea is to give her nice compliments about how smart and interesting she is.

Older women have lots of fascinating experiences and stories to share, so make sure to listen carefully and ask questions to learn more about her. 

Older women tend to appreciate good manners, so remember to say please and thank you, and be respectful. 

Use funny, light-hearted jokes to make her laugh and smile. Be yourself, she will appreciate you being genuine and real.

When sending a flirty text to an older woman, keep it classy.

How to Flirt With Your Boyfriend

Flirting with your boyfriend is about keeping the fun and excitement alive in your relationship. Consider the things he likes and talk about them, it shows you care about his interests. 

Playfully tease him about silly moments you’ve shared. Do it in sweet way that makes him smile. Surprise him sometimes with a cute note to show you are thinking about him. 

Make sure to give compliments. They could be about his looks, his intelligence, or anything personal. Spontaneously hold his hand or give a hug to show your love and affection. 

Always remember to smile, it creates a positive vibe and shows you’re happy being with your boyfriend.

More Info: USA Today

FAQs

How to Innocently Flirt Over Text?

Innocently flirting over text can be very fun and a great way to get to know someone better. Send smiley faces and emojis, it makes messaging more friendly. Ask about their day and what they like to do for fun.

Be playful. You can lightly tease about a funny picture or a silly thing they said. Make sure to always be nice. Occasionally surprise the person with a sweet text telling them you saw something that made you think of them.

And don’t forget to give compliments, tell the person how cool or smart they are.

How to Flirt Without Being Obvious?

To flirt without being obvious, it’s all about being subtle. You might want to ask questions about casual things, like the person’s favorite movies or what they did over the weekend. This shows interest without being too personal. 

Remember to smile and maintain good eye contact, to show you are listening. Be kind and respectful, and also a little playful. You can also give minor compliments, like “I enjoyed the story you told.” 

You may want to casually tease them about something they said. Make sure it is in a fun, light-hearted way. The idea is to be friendly and open, while also giving little hints that you think they are a cool and fun person.

Conclusion

How to flirt over text with a guy or girl, or in person, is a skill set that takes practice. Consider and put into practice the lists above and you will be an expert flirt in no time. Good luck!