How to Ask a Guy How Tall He Is Without Being Rude (8 Examples to Find Out His Height)

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How to Ask a Guy How Tall He Is Without Being Rude (8 Examples to Find Out His Height)

In the world of digital dating, we run into a few issues consistently: men thinking pics of dead fish are attractive, creepy messages, and GUYS WHO DON’T LIST THEIR HEIGHT IN THEIR BIO.

Keep reading to find out some sneaky (and some not so sneaky) ways of finding out how tall he is without coming off like a jerk. 

How to Ask a Guy How Tall He is or About His Height

Does it run in the family?

I’ve stumbled across guys that have pictures of their family in their dating profiles. I always think it’s a little weird, but I assume it’s because most guys don’t like to take a lot of pics of themselves.

Here’s how you use it to your advantage: 

“Woah, is your family really tall or is this picture playing tricks on my eyes?”

“Wow! Basketball games at your house had to be pretty competitive, huh?”

Lead with the assumption

woman texting

This one might come off as a little presumptuous, but you can lead the conversation with a comment on his height. If he goes along with it, he’s probably tall! If he corrects you, then you have your answer!

Here’s how you kick it off: 

“Hey there, tall drink of water”

Or you could go with a funny one like: “How’s the weather up there, Lurch?” 

Just come right out with it!

woman texting

Look, he knows we need this information so isn’t it to be assumed that he’s expecting this question at some point anyway? 

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If you’re unsure of his height and really want to know, one way to go about it is just to ask. What do you have to lose? A Tinder match? There will always be more if he’s a poor sport about it. 

Play it self-aware: “I recently went on a date with someone who was 5’1” and I kicked myself for not asking beforehand. Am I a jerk if I ask how tall you are?”

Or just dive in head-first. A simple “Hey, how tall are you?” will certainly do the trick.

Ask about your mutuals


women talking in a cafeIf you’re matching with people in your area, chances are, you know someone who knows someone who knows this guy. There are 2 ways to go about this.

Send his pic to your group chat and let the sleuths do their work. Someone may be able to dig up the dirt without you having to get your hands dirty!

Ask him if you have any friends in common and tell him who you normally hang out with. If you have a friend in common, reach out to them and ask how tall this guy is.

“It seems like you go to basement shows a lot! Have you performed with the band, Susie Derkins? My friend is their guitarist.”

“It looks like you’re really into the yoga community around here. Have you ever had an instructor named Theresa? She’s a good friend of mine!”

Tell him you are vertically challenged

woman texting

This one could be considered more of a “smoking him out” approach. By revealing your height, he will probably reciprocate in one way or another.

Tease it out of him with something like “I’m so short I have to climb up on the counter to get to my mugs, is this something you could help me with?”

Or try “God, I just got back from a concert and my view was blocked the whole time by tall people. Sometimes it sucks being 5’2”. Do you ever have this problem?”

Blame it on the pet

Yorkshire terrier puppy

As someone with a dog that gets spooked by strange gentlemen, this one has helped me out time and time again. It’s just too easy to blame the dog.

If you are planning to meet, warn him that your dog/cat/bird/lizard gets scared of tall people. If he says that won’t be a problem, well… maybe cancel the date.

Here’s how I’d do it:

“Hey, I’d love to hang at my house, but my dog gets really nervous around tall guys at first. If you’re really tall, maybe we should go somewhere else tonight and you can meet him another time.”

“If you come to my house, my dog might need an extra minute to get used to you if you’re really tall. Let me know and I’ll prep him for meeting you!”

Ask if he’s comfortable on airplanes

Although very specific, it’ll give you a good idea of how long his legs are. With travel being a hot-button conversation topic on dating apps, it’s easy to work it into the conversation sneaky-like.

It could look something like this: 

“I’m only 5’7” and my knees are practically jammed up against the seat of the person in front of me. Do you have this problem too?”

Ask him what his type is

If he’s any kind of polite, he will tell you something boilerplate, then ask you this same question in return. This leads you into using the age-old “tall, dark and handsome” saying. 

His response will tell you everything you need to know! If he says I’ve got two out of three of those things, you can probably assume that means he’s not tall. 

I would recommend only jokey responses to this one like “tall, dark and handsome” or a “tall drink of water”.

Is It Rude to Ask a Guy How Tall He Is?

tall guy

Personally, I don’t think it should be, but some guys will get offended. If it’s really important to you, it’s not listed in his profile, and you’re nervous he’ll have a bad reaction to you asking, you can always try visual height hacks! Is he standing in a doorway in his pictures? Typical doorways are about 80 inches, or 6.6 feet tall. How close is he to the top of that doorway? Try to spot things like that!

What’s Considered Tall for a Guy?

As a tall-ish girl, I have a relatively harsh view of what’s considered tall for a guy. I would say 5’8”-5’11” is average, and 5’11” and over is tall. There is such a thing as too tall, though! Anything over 6’3” is just freaky. He can still be totally cute, but it’s just daunting.