What To Do When He Pulls Away (To Get Him Back FAST)

What do you do when your man pulls away from the relationship? This can be a confusing and frustrating time, but don’t worry – we’re here to help. In this guide, we will discuss some of the most common reasons why men pull away, as well as some tips on how to get him back fast.

So if you’re feeling lost and don’t know what to do, read on for professional advice that can help you win your man back.

How To Get Him Back When He Pulls Away

If your man pulls away from you in a relationship, you may feel upset, especially if it has been a long-term and loving relationship. Instead of feeling helpless, remember that there are many things you can do to try and get him back.

Here are some tips on how to stop your man from pulling away:

1. Ask Him What’s Going On

having a direct conversation with him

The first approach is to directly ask your man what is going on. This can be a difficult conversation, but it’s important to have open communication to save the relationship.

He may not be willing to share everything with you, but he should at least be able to tell you why he has been distant and what he needs from you to feel closer again.

Make sure to stay calm when you talk to him and avoid any accusations or blame. This will only make him defensive and less likely to open up.

It’s important not to jump to wrong conclusions and create problems in the relationship that aren’t there.

There are many ways you can approach the conversation with your man. Which style works best depends on the communication style that works best for the relationship.

The easiest way to reach out is through a text message. This method may work best if you two haven’t been seeing each other much recently or he isn’t answering his phone. You could say something like:

“I’ve been feeling distant from you lately, and I want to talk about what’s going on. Can we please meet up or talk over the phone?”

If you’re already in a discussion, try saying something like:

“I need us to be honest with each other – can you tell me why you’ve been acting distant lately?”

If you want to share more fully but aren’t comfortable with a phone call, you can send an email his way. This can help you to fully express yourself while having the time to get the wording just right.

A phone conversation is best for couples that are physically close to each other and want more immediate feedback.

If you regularly see your man in person, for example, at work or school, it may make the most sense to talk to him in person. This way, you can gauge his body language and facial expressions for clues about his thinking.

No matter how you choose to talk to your man, make sure that, it’s done privately and respectfully where, you both feel safe and comfortable.

2. Offer Him Support

Women tend to take it personally when a guy pulls away, but sometimes this can be a sign that he may be struggling in other areas of life.

If your man is feeling overwhelmed or stressed, one of the best things you can do is offer him support.

This doesn’t mean telling him what to do or fixing his problems for him. It means listening to him, being there for him, and allowing him to open up about how he’s feeling.

Take some time to ask him what is going on in different areas of his life. If you know that he has any specific projects or goals causing him stress, offer to help out or brainstorm some solutions with him.

In addition to offering him support, it can be helpful to simply let him know that you think he’s doing a great job.

If he feels very little pressure and unconditional support from you, he will likely come back to the relationship sooner than later.

3. Try To Cheer Him Up With a Surprise

Sometimes men pull away because they don’t feel in a passionate relationship anymore. They miss the emotional connection, the butterflies, and the excitement they used to feel.

giving him a surprise gift

If you know that your man is missing these things, try to surprise him with something that will make him happy. This could be a romantic gesture like cooking dinner or sending flowers to his work.

Or it could simply be an act of kindness, like taking care of one of his chores for him or buying him his favorite food.

The key is to do something that he wouldn’t expect, and that will make him feel happy, loved, and appreciated. When a man feels he’s been lost in the relationship, a surprise can be just what he needs to feel more connected again.

4. Let Him Know How You Feel

Many women go through endless suffering in a relationship without mentioning it to their partner.

They may feel guilty that their emotions or thoughts are inappropriate and withhold them from their man. They fear losing the relationship if they’re too honest.

However, if you’re feeling distant and unhappy in the relationship, it’s important to communicate this to your partner.

This doesn’t mean you need to have a huge fight or yell at him. Simply telling him how you feel in a calm and open way can be very helpful.

Make sure to use “I” statements when talking to your man rather than “you” statements.

For example, saying “I feel like I’m not a priority in your life lately” is much more effective than saying, “You don’t care about me anymore.”

When you talk to him, be prepared for him to listen and try to understand where you’re coming from.

If he truly loves and cares for you, he will want to fix things that are causing you pain.

5. Work on Balancing Your Emotions

It can be hard to remain calm when you see your man pulling away from the relationship. You may start to worry about other women, whether he’s still interested in you or whether the relationship is going anywhere.

couple apart from each other

All of these emotions are perfectly normal, but they can also cause you to act in ways that may push your man further away.

If you want to keep the relationship healthy and strong, it’s important to work on balancing your emotions.

This means staying present. If you are having any worries about the relationship, ask yourself if they are true in the current moment.

There is no reason to stress yourself out about things that may or may not happen in the future. If you can focus on what is happening in the present, you will be less likely to say or do something that could push your man away.

Give yourself and your man the benefit of the doubt. You will appreciate this in the long run, and it will also guarantee that you’re acting fair and loving when you’re talking to your man, which gives you a better chance of keeping the relationship.

6. Don’t Act Desperate

If your man is pulling away from you, your first instinct may be to do everything in your power to get him back.

You may start texting and calling him constantly, begging for his attention, or trying to make him jealous.

However, this type of behavior will only push your man further away. It can often seem like you’re acting desperate and don’t have any self-respect.

If you want to get your man back, acting confident and in control is important. This means not calling or texting him constantly instead of waiting for him to reach out to you.

Focus on your interests and give the situation some time to breathe.

It also means being selective about the things that you share with him. If he senses that you’re too available or too needy, he will be less likely to want to get back together.

Acting desperate will not only push your man away, but it can also cause him to lose respect for you.

Aim to maintain your dignity and self-respect during this time, and he will be more likely to come back to you on his own.

You’d be surprised by how often less is more when it comes to repairing relationships.

7. Talk to Your Friends & Family

When a guy pulls away, it can be difficult to know what to do. This is especially true if you’ve only recently started catching feelings and the relationship is relatively new.

friends conversation in couch

If you’re feeling lost and alone, it’s important to talk to your friends or family members who will be able to support you.

They can offer advice, comfort, and a listening ear when things get tough.

Talking to someone who knows you well can help you gain some clarity and give you a different perspective on the situation.

It’s also important to have people in your life who will be honest with you, even if it’s difficult to hear their feedback.

It’s always helpful to have someone help you process things that aren’t directly involved in the relationship.

These people can also help to boost your self-esteem and remind you that you are a valuable person, even if you’re not sure what to do when he pulls away.

8. Talk to His Friends & Family

If you and your man have been in a committed relationship for a while and you’re close with his friends and family, it can be helpful to talk to them about the situation.

They may have some insight into what is going on with your man, or they may be able to provide you with support.

They may have also known your partner for longer than you and may have some insight about what to do when he pulls away.

For example, they may know that your man is going through a tough time at work, and that’s why he’s been distant lately.

Or they may know that he’s been feeling overwhelmed by the dating process and needs some space.

Make sure to be respectful of your man’s privacy and to only talk to people that your guy would be ok with you connecting with.

Remember that his friends and family are likely going to be just as (if not more) supportive of him as they are of you.

Respect this, and you’re more likely to get the support you need during this difficult time.

9. Don’t Make Huge Compromises to Get Him Back

If you’re unsure what to do when he pulls away, you may try to make some huge compromises in order to win him back.

You may agree to see other people, or you may change your whole personality to be more like he wants you to be.

However, this type of behavior is often unsuccessful and can push your man away even further.

He may say that he wants you to be more agreeable, but if he isn’t respecting your wishes and desires now, he probably never will.

Don’t put your expectations into someone else’s hands. This takes away all the value of the relationship and can leave you feeling resentful and unimportant.

she is trying to make a decision

Take some time to yourself to decide what your boundaries are and what you are and aren’t willing to do for the relationship.

You may be surprised. Instead of going his way when he realizes you won’t compromise, he may be inspired and impressed by your strength and resolve and come back to you on his own.

10. Do Nothing

It may feel counter-productive, but sometimes doing nothing is one of the best things you can do when your man distances himself.

This means not texting him, not calling him, and not trying to get in touch with him in any way.

It may be difficult to sit tight and wait for him to come back, but it often works out better in the long run.

When a man feels like he’s being chased or pressured, it often makes him run in the opposite direction. If you can give him some space and time to miss you, he may come back around on his own.

In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that make you happy.

This will help keep your energy high and your head clear, which will be beneficial when your man does come back around.

You can decide beforehand how long you will cease communication. You may want to wait a few days, a week, or even a month. The length of time depends on how often you two have been in touch and how long he’s been pulled away.

Once this period of time is up, if you haven’t heard from him, you have two options. The first option is to cut the cord and break up.

He has shown you that he isn’t willing to invest in the relationship, so it’s time to move on.

The second option is to reach out to him and see if he wants to talk. You can use any of the tips in this article to try and get him back.

If all else fails, consider the next option and get help from a professional.

11. Seek Professional Help

If you’ve tried all of the tips mentioned above and he still hasn’t come back to you, it may be time to seek professional help.

This means talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the situation and figure out what to do when he pulls away.

They will be able to provide you with guidance and support, as well as some tools that may help you get your man back.

If you don’t have a budget for therapy, there are also many online resources that can be helpful such as forums, groups, and blogs.

Books are another great option, and there are many titles on the topic of getting your man back.

There is no shame in asking for help when you’re feeling lost and confused. Remember that you’re not alone in this, and there are people who want to help you through it.

group having conversation to help

How Can I Tell When a Guy Pulls Away?

There are a few signs that can indicate when a man is pulling away from the relationship. If you can identify when this is happening, you’re more likely to take corrective action and get him back.

Some of the most common signs that a man is pulling away include:

1. He Becomes Distant and Withdrawn

One of the clearest signs that a man is pulling away is when he becomes distant and withdrawn.

You may notice that he isn’t as engaged and struggles with focusing attention on your conversation.

His feelings may also seem muted, and he may not react the same as he usually does when around you. This can be a sign that he’s slowly distancing himself both physically and emotionally from the relationship.

looking elsewhere talking to her

His body language will also reveal his true feelings. If he’s pulling away, he may cross his arms or legs and keep a lot of distance between the two of you when sitting or standing.

He may also avoid eye contact and have trouble holding your gaze for more than a few seconds. If he taps his hand or fidgets a lot, it could also be a sign that he’s uncomfortable and experiencing anxiety.

2. He Stops Calling or Texting As Often

Another sign that a man is pulling away is when he stops calling or texting as often. This can be a major red flag since communication is an important part of any relationship.

If you notice that the number of texts or calls has decreased significantly, it could mean that he’s losing interest in you.

He may also stop being very talkative when he gets back to you. For example, you may receive texts with one-word answers such as “okay” or “sure.”

This can be a sign that he’s not invested in the conversation and would rather end it quickly.

If you’re seeing this type of behavior, it’s important to reach out to him and find out what’s going on. If he doesn’t want to talk, it may be time to move on.

3. He Makes Less of an Effort to See You or Spend Time With You

You may notice that he’ll pull back on making plans or spending time with you. He may start to make up excuses for why he can’t see you or come over.

he has no time for her

He may also stop initiating when it comes to spending time together. This can be a major sign that he’s no longer interested in being with you and is slowly withdrawing.

It’s important that this isn’t confused for a time period where he is extra busy or stressed. You should be understanding if your partner has issues that don’t have to do with you at all.

If you’re not sure which one it is, the best thing to do is talk to him and ask how he’s feeling.

If he gives you a vague answer or doesn’t want to talk about it, that could be a sign that he’s pulling away.

4. He’s Critical or Dismissive of Your Efforts to Connect With Him

If your man starts saying things like “You’re trying too hard” or “You don’t have to do this” when you reach out to him, it could be a sign that he’s not interested.

He may also become more critical of your efforts and make it seem like you’re doing something wrong. This can be frustrating and discouraging for you, especially if you’re putting in a lot of effort to connect with him.

If this is happening, it’s important to take a step back and assess what you’re doing wrong. More often than not, the problem is that you’re trying too hard, or you’re not being genuine.

Try to relax and let things flow more naturally between the two of you. If that doesn’t work, it may be time to move on.

5. He’s Less Affectionate Towards You

they are not intimate anymore

You may notice that your guy is less physical with you and doesn’t show as much affection as he used to. He may stop holding your hand, putting his arm around you, or kissing you.

You may not know what to do when he pulls away physically, and it can be a sign that he’s not interested in you anymore.

Pay attention to where this is happening. Does he withhold affection publicly but still gets physically close to you when you’re both alone?

Is your man pulling away physically all of the time? Answering these questions can help you have a better idea of what’s going on.

6. Your Man Pulls Away By Getting Upset

Another sign that a man is pulling away is when he starts to get upset or angry. This can be a way of pushing you away and making it seem like the relationship isn’t worth it.

You may see him become more defensive and start to argue with you over little things. He may also withdraw from conversations and stop trying to communicate.

If your man pulls away with anger, make sure that you are in a safe and respectful situation. It isn’t worth risking your safety or well-being for a relationship that’s not working.

7. He Stops Making Plans For The Future With You

You may notice that your man starts to distance himself from plans. He may not want to talk about what’s going on next week or in the near future in the same way he did in the early stages of the relationship.

he is not wiling to talk

This can be a sign that he’s no longer interested in dating and doesn’t see a future with you.

However, it’s important to take a moment and make a distinction between this being about you or a general confusion your man may have about his life.

As always, a good conversation can help clear this up and help the two of you to stay connected.

8. He Isn’t Interested In Sex Anymore

You may have noticed a decrease in your man’s sexual drive. If he pulls away in bed, it may make you feel like he doesn’t value you or find you attractive in this way.

This may be true, and he may be pulling away, but there are many reasons why a man withdraws in bed.

This can happen in long-term relationships because there are shifts in the relationship that change the chemistry over time.

If he is willing to talk about this, you can feel secure that the issue has very little to do with you. However, if he is being secretive or even mean about the subject, something else may be going on.

9. He Stops Being Honest With You

he is trying to hide something from her

If you’re catching your guy in lies, this is a big red flag that he’s pulling away. When a guy is no longer invested in the relationship, he’ll start hiding things from you. He might even outright lie to your face.

If this is happening in your relationship, it’s time to take action. You need to confront him about his behavior and find out what’s going on. If he can’t be honest with you, then there’s no future for the two of you.

10. You Notice He’s Spending More Time With Others

You may feel sad if your partner suddenly starts spending more time with his buddies or other women. This is a clear sign that he’s no longer interested in being around you.

If you’re seeing this behavior, it’s important to take action. Talk to him about your concerns and find out what’s going on. Make sure to let him know your expectations in the relationship and how often you want to be seeing him.

Why Is My Man Pulling Away From the Relationship?

It can feel like a combination of stress and confusion when you feel your man slipping away from you in a relationship.

You may have no idea why it’s happening and feel like you’re doing everything right.

The truth is that there are many reasons why a man pulls away from a relationship. It could be something as simple as feeling overwhelmed or not knowing what he wants.

However, if the behavior continues for an extended period of time, it’s likely that there’s a bigger issue at hand.

It’s important to be proactive and honest if you see these signs in your partnership. Talk to your man about your concerns and find out what’s going on.

If he’s unwilling or unable to talk, communication issues may be the root of the problem.

conversation with a therapist

If this is the case, you may need to seek professional help in order to save your relationship. Having someone such as a couple’s therapist mediate these conversations can be very helpful.

How To Have a Healthy Committed Relationship

The best way to avoid a partner pulling away is to do the best you can in the relationship before things go south. Here are some tips for investing in your relationship and making sure it’s as healthy as possible:

1. Share Your Goals With One Another

If you want to have a long-term relationship, it’s important that you fully share your interests and goals.

Not only does this allow you to both motivate and support each other through progress, but it also prevents problems down the line if you’re going to need to give a lot of time to your goal.

2. Spend Quality Time Together

This may seem obvious if you’re in a new relationship, but it’s important to remember over time. Make sure to schedule regular date nights and spend time talking to one another about your day-to-day lives.

3. Always Make Sure to Work on Communication

couples hard conversation

Over time, a lot of assumptions are made between two people. This can help us quickly move through conversations and situations but can also limit our understanding of one another.

Always make sure to talk openly and honestly with your partner, even if it’s about sensitive topics. This will help you to avoid any potential problems down the road.

Consider learning each other’s love languages as well. This will help you understand how your partner likes to feel loved and appreciated.

4. Learn How To Fight

Fighting itself isn’t unhealthy in a partnership. It’s natural that most people will disagree and feel like pulling away from time to time. However, how you fight is important.

Make sure to never raise your voice, name-call, or bring up irrelevant topics. Also, make sure that you’re always taking time afterward to apologize and resolve the situation.

Forgiveness is key in a healthy relationship.

5. Always Act With Respect

Treating your partner with respect is one of the most important things you can do in a relationship. This means that you should never speak to them in a demeaning way, make fun of them, or put them down.

Respecting your partner also includes listening to what they say and not dismissing their thoughts or feelings.

6. Establish Healthy Boundaries

It’s important to have a good understanding of your boundaries in any relationship.

This includes the physical, emotional, and mental space you’re willing to share with someone else.

Make sure that you and your partner are aware of these boundaries and respect them. If either of you feels like they’re being crossed, speak up immediately.

7. Get Good With Trust

It will make your relationship stronger if you’re able to trust each other.

This doesn’t mean that you should never have doubts, but it’s important to communicate these thoughts openly and honestly.

8. Stay Open Minded

Companionships can be unpredictable. As time goes on, our interests may change, and we may find that we’re no longer compatible with our partners.

This is why it’s important to stay open-minded in a relationship and be willing to compromise. If you can do this, you are likely to grow more and learn a lot about yourself along the way.

More Info: Thrive Works


It is very difficult when you like a guy and all is going well, and then it is not. Consider the guy and your relationship with him before determining the reason why. Then you can figure out what to do.


Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!