When a Guy Is Hot and Cold With Texting 2024

When a guy is hot and cold with texting, it can be very frustrating. His behavior can have several meanings.

Here are the top reasons why a guy is hot and cold with texting and what you can do about it.

Reasons When a Guy Is Hot and Cold With Texting

1. There Are Others

Most guys are seeing and texting multiple girls at the same time. If your guy is hot and cold with texting, he might have other girls on his plate.

2. He’s Busy

Between work, school, friends, family, and responsibilities, your guy might have a lot going on. He may be extremely busy and texting you is not his priority.

3. He Doesn’t Like You Enough

We all make time for who we want to make time for. If he isn’t texting you it might be because he doesn’t really like you, or at least not as much as you think.

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4. He’s Scared of Getting Hurt

He might have been hurt in the past and is protecting himself emotionally by being hot and cold. Perhaps he is rejecting before getting rejected.

5. He’s Going Through Things 

He might be going through some personal stuff and feels uncomfortable opening up about it to you. Whatever he is going through might be weighing heavily on his mind.

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6. He’s Using You

He might be interested in only one thing, and be sweet and nice only when he wants it. This could be sex, money, favors, food, etc. He will text a lot until after he gets it.

7. He’s Getting You Hooked

This guy knows exactly what he is doing. He is giving himself to you in doses, alternating between hot and cold. Like a drug, this is a good way to get someone hooked.

8. He’s Not Sure How He Feels

He may not yet have decided how he feels or what kind of relationship he wants with you, so he is hot and cold depending on the day and his mood. Or he might have lost interest.

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What to Do When a Guy Is Hot and Cold With Texting

Give Him Some Space

Don’t text him until you hear back. When you find a guy is being cold over text, mirror his behavior. If he doesn’t respond for a day, take a day to respond. If you don’t hear from him for a week, wait a week before texting him back.

You might want to stop texting altogether and wait until he comes to you.

Confront Him About It

Don’t jump to any conclusions about his behavior until you ask him about it. See what he says and give him the benefit of the doubt. Make your boundaries clear on what is acceptable behavior that you will put up with.

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When a guy is hot and cold with texting, consider the possible reasons why. Keep your focus on your own interests, responsibilities, and life passions. The right guy will want to be part of your world.

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.