Why You Keep Dreaming Of Your Ex – 12 Reasons Revealed!

If your ex was important to you for a long time, or even just a short time, you will never completely forget about them.

Here are the top 12 reasons why you keep dreaming of your ex and what you can do about these dreams.  

Why Do I Keep Dreaming Of My Ex

You keep dreaming about your ex because you miss that comfortable sense of connection. They represented your heart, your hopes, your dreams, and your desires. Whether your break up was good or bad, they are still in your subconscious mind.

1. This Is Normal – Your Ex Is Still In Your Memories

If you’re 100% sure that you are done with your ex, and they show up in your dreams, don’t think anything of it. Dreams are extensions of your subconscious mind, which you can’t control. Memories come out in dreams, sometimes with no rhyme or reason.

Whether your relationship was good or bad, long or short, you created experiences with your ex. These experiences are transferred into memories. Memories last a long time and tend to linger.

You shared time, you shared space, you hung out, you talked. You thought about this person, at some point, more than anyone else. The memories you made are indelible, and very hard to get rid of, completely.

Time is the only thing that will heal you.

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2. You’re Not 100% Sure About The New Romance

You moved on, found somebody else. This is great! So why the heck is your ex appearing in your dreams?

Your dream is a message about your new love interest and has nothing to do with wanting to get back together with your ex. You might have some hesitations regarding the new person that you need to consider.

It is normal to compare a new relationship to our last one. Remember, it is a “new” person and there will be differences. Give them a chance.

If you continue feeling these hesitations, and they don’t go away, then perhaps this is not right for you. Don’t force it, there will be more opportunities.

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3. You Thought of Your Ex Recently

It is very normal to think about your ex, and then dream about them. Maybe your thought was a good one, maybe it was bad one. That is all it takes. The memory is now sitting in your subconscious mind, which controls our dreams.

There is nothing you need to do about this dream. Over time you will think about your ex less and less. When you find someone new, you might not even think of them at all.

4. You’re Not Fully Over Your Ex

If you are thinking about and dreaming about your ex, perhaps you are not fully over them. Maybe you haven’t emotionally moved on. There is a chance this break up has shown you that you DO want to get back with them.

It might be worth giving the relationship one more try. Your subconscious is sending you a message. Consider why you broke up and ask yourself what will be different this time.

Only you can decide. Make sure if you do try one more time, this is your last try.

Why Do I keep Dreaming About My Ex Boyfriend - Connection Copilot

5. Your Ex Wants You Back

Deep down you know your ex wants you back. Your subconscious mind knows the answers, dreams are messages we send ourselves from our subconscious. You are sending yourself a message.

The important question is whether or not you want them back. If you don’t want them back, there is nothing you need to do about your dream.

He’s your ex for a reason.

6. You Miss Hooking Up With Your Ex

The hooking up part of your relationship was never the problem. It is safe, satisfying, and familiar, and would be amazing right now.

It is no surprise your ex is showing up in your dreams, and perhaps in some of your thoughts 😉

This dream is not about your ex, it is about you. This is a perfectly normal dream, there is nothing you need to do.

Eventually you will find someone and create new memories. For now, enjoy yourself!

7. You’re Looking For Closure With Your Ex

You and your ex had formed a connection, and those are hard to break. In order to break these connections you have to let go of your feelings, which is hard to do. You have some things on you mind that you would like to say and hear.

In the movies, the girl confronts her ex and gets closure. That is not what works best in real life. Here is what you should do:

Write an email to your ex saying everything you ever wanted to say. Leave it to the next day. Go back, re-read, and make all necessary changes. Leave it to the next day.

Go back, read it one more time, and then DELETE IT!

You will feel much better and won’t invite back the drama you just got away from.

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8. Something’s Missing In Your Current Relationship

You have moved on and settled into a new relationship. Everything seems really good, yet you sense something might be missing. You’re not quite sure what it is, and you’re trying to make it work.

It’s scary to realize that everything isn’t perfect in your new relationship. So you disregard your hesitations. Your subconscious mind is taking over and sending you a message. The dream is not about your ex.

You need to examine this new relationship and figure out what is missing. Then you need to decide if you can live without it. If not, this person is not for you.

9. You Saw Your Ex Somewhere

You might have seen a post, a story, or a picture of your ex on social media. Perhaps you scrolled right past it in a mutual friend’s IG feed. It might not have even registered.

Maybe you ran into your ex at a party or event, or saw them at Starbucks out of the corner of your eye. Whether or not you remember the encounter this memory sits in your subconscious mind.

Seeing your ex might give you a hit of dopamine, that feel-good chemical our body releases. Learn more about dopamine on WebMD.

When something elicits our emotions, and chemicals are released, it could trigger a dream. I would do nothing about this dream, it is normal.

10. You’re Still Healing

Breakups are traumatic and take a lot out of you, especially when getting out of a bad relationship. It will take time to heal. Dreaming about your ex is a normal part of the healing process.

This dream has nothing to do with your ex, it is about you working through and processing the pain. You need time to mourn over your emotional loss. Your hearts were attached, this does not go away overnight.

Talk out your feelings with someone you trust, maybe a friend or family member. Find someone who is a good listener.

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11. You’re Warning Yourself

Your dreams are not about your ex, they are about what they represents. You had a failed relationship and you are probably scared to get hurt again. You fear making another mistake.

Your subconscious is revealing this information through your dreams. Proceed with caution in your new relationships. There is no action you need to take, this is only a warning.

Do not let this warning freak you out. It is not a sign of a bad relationship. It is just a friendly reminder from you to you.

12. You’re Lonely – Your Ex Used To Be There For You

When you break up with an ex, you lose part of your identity. A big portion of your time was spent on this person. You miss the relationship and the companionship and probably feel an empty void.

Your dreams are normal and do not mean you should message or call your ex. Keep yourself busy with friends, family, and other interests. Time will heal.

It is also helpful to get back out there and start meeting new people. You may be longing for some love and affection. Do not look toward your ex for this.

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How To Stop Dreaming About Your Ex

The best way to stop a dreaming about your ex boyfriend is to address the dream. Talk it out with a friend or family member with an unbiased opinion who you can trust. It helps if they are a good listener.

Consider the possible reasons mentioned above and decide which one it is. Dreaming about your ex is very normal and most of the time there is nothing you need to do. Time will heal!

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Dream About Ex Boyfriend

You dream about your ex boyfriend because you are forever connected in your subconscious minds. You shared some memories and they don’t go away quickly.

You miss the comfort, the connection, and familiarity. You might not want to get back with your ex boyfriend, you might just miss the idea of having him.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does Dreaming About Your Ex Mean He Misses You?

Dreaming about your ex does not mean he misses you. Yes, he may miss you. Yet there is no evidence to support the correlation.

Deep down you will know if your ex boyfriend misses you. The dream is just a reminder from your subconscious.

Why Do I Dream About My Ex

You dream about getting back together with an ex when you have unresolved feelings, a desire for closure, or you feel lonely. Dreams are complex and personal, and their meanings differ for each person.

Exploring your feelings, past experiences, and present circumstances can offer you insights into your dreams.

Does My Ex Dream About Me?

Yes, your ex boyfriend dreams about you, whether or not he would ever admit it. Your ex boyfriend’s subconscious mind probably puts you in a starring role in his dreams.

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What Should I Do If I Am Currently in a Relationship?

If you are currently in a relationship, and you are 100% happy, and have a dream about your ex boyfriend, you should tell your current partner the truth. Don’t feel guilty, you cannot control your subconscious mind. Honesty is always the best policy and he should understand.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Medical News Today Article on Dreams

Can Dreaming About My Ex Prevent Me From Moving On?

No, dreaming about your ex cannot prevent you from moving on. As long as you realize it is only a dream, and don’t act on it.

How Long Will I Continue to Dream About My Ex?

You will continue to dream about your ex boyfriend indefinitely. It could be a few weeks, a few months, or years. It depends on how long you were together and how close you were. It also depends on the type of person you are.

More Info: Dream Experts Speak


Why do I keep dreaming of my ex is a complex question. Our subconscious mind sends us messages in our dreams. The tricky part is figuring out what they mean.

Dreams can offer a glimpse into your inner thoughts. Most of the time when you dream about your ex it is not because you want to get back together, it is because you miss the memories you shared.

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.