Long distance relationships typically only work out when both parties put in equal amounts of effort and truly give things their all.
That’s why, if you want things to last, it’s good to have all of the tips and tricks possible up your sleeve to make your long distance relationship work.
So, read on below and discover 32 of the best tips for making your relationship as smooth and successful as possible!
How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
There is a whole different set of struggles and rewards that come with LDR relationships than those that are common with in-person relationships. That’s why knowing how to make your long distance relationship work, at least in theory, helps out a ton.
In the following sections, we outline 32 key tips on how to make your long distance relationship work out in the long run:
1. Be Open and Honest
First and foremost, couples in LDR relationships need to be as open and honest as possible.
Both aspects are even more crucial in LDR relationships than in person, because each others words are all you have sometimes.
Keeping things to yourself, and being dishonest, one too many times could push your LDR partner away for good.
2. Invest In Each Other’s Interests
Invest in in depth conversations with your LDR partner so that you can really get to know each other.
Once you do know each other, make it a point to purposefully and willingfully invest in each other’s interests (both personal and professional).
Being invested in your partner’s day-to-day life as well as their long-term goals and commitments keeps you close to them, in heart, mind, and spirit.
3. Stay Connected
It almost goes without saying that staying connected, by any means possible, is critical for successful and rewarding long distance romantic relationships.
It doesn’t matter how much difference there is between your time zones, or whether you like the same things or not, for that matter.
Make time for long distance calls every single day, including a video call as often as possible (also every day if possible).
4. Be Respectful of Your Partner’s Life
Long distance couples have a bunch of extra hurdles to jump over on the road to happily ever after.
One of those hurdles is being respectful and understanding of your partner’s life outside of your relationship.
That doesn’t mean support living double lives; it means that your partner had friends and family before your relationship, and it is only healthy that those bonds remain intact.
It also means that you should do your best to respect your partner’s schedule (personal and professional), even if it doesn’t make sense to you.
5. Support Each Other’s Work/Career
Part of respecting each other is supporting each other, including work aspirations and career paths.
If your long distance partner knows that you support them no matter what they do, they are more likely to eventually feel comfortable becoming an in-person relationship.
The main point is that you each know where each other stands, and you are on the same page in life.
Many long distance relationships fall apart strictly by neglecting this one area and not even realizing it until it’s too late.
6. Spend Time Together
Spending more quality time together is more and more possible for long distance couples these days.
You have LDR gadgets and apps to choose from to pass the time, including everything from karaoke and movie streaming services to video chatting, playing truth or dare, and much more.
Spending time together is also interesting when you coordinate a time to “go out” together (you both go out into public and do your shopping, or take a walk to the park at the same time, and chat the whole time).
That said, video chatting remains the hands-down most preferred way for couples in long distance relationships to spend their time together.
7. Give Each Other Reminders of What You Like
Being in a long distance relationship is not the same as the geographically close relationships that you’ve had in the past.
Real long distance relationships aren’t the same as the few weeks you spent chatting with some random intriguing person, either.
You need to get to really know each other, which may involve sharing reminders of what you like.
At any rate, a genuine emotional connection needs to be acknowledged from both sides of the long distance relationship.
Otherwise, it’s just two people who may or may not be attracted to each other chatting/talking/texting each other.
8. Constantly Reassure Your Partner About Your Feelings
There is no place in a healthy and happy long distance relationship for keeping your truest and deepest feelings to yourself.
If you do so, you are stealing the opportunity for your partner to get to know how you really feel, or understand the full depth and gravity of some situation.
Further, if you feel connected, or deeply attracted; let your partner know it all the time. Remind them until they know it without a shadow of a doubt.
In return, your partner should do the same (and, if they aren’t, you’ve got another red flag).
9. Ask Questions Constantly
One of the best ways to get to know people (really, get to know them) is to ask them things all the time.
The more you ask things, the more you know. It’s a really straightforward process and it works like a charm.
Asking questions also tend to lead to some rather in-depth and even passionate conversations…so, don’t hold back!
Ask them about their best friends, their favorite film directors, their favorite flavor of ice cream, what their retirement plan is, and whatever else happens to pop into your mind while you’re talking.
10. Let Each Other “In”
When your long distance relationship partner asks you a question about something in your life, specifically how you feel or what you think about something, it’s your duty as a good partner to let them “in.”
Likewise, when you ask them questions, they should give you answers, or at least engage you in conversation. That said, if your partner always dodges personal questions, it’s a major red flag.
If you are reassuring your partner about how you feel about them, and that you accept them as they are, there should be less resistance to answering questions.
11. Be “There” for Each Other
Being there for each other is what couples do, it is no different for those in long distance dating relationships.
In fact, it is often much more important for those who are in long distance dating relationships to go out of their way to “be there” for each other.
Unlike couples who come home to each other, or meet up in person regularly, long distance relationships require a whole different set of sacrifices and commitments.
12. Meet Each Other’s Friends
It may seem a bit strange at first, to meet someone’s friends, when you’ve never even met them in person before (or at least don’t live nearby)… but, it’s actually quite conducive to a long term relationship.
If you are going to be together, your worlds need to collide in a peaceful and agreeable fashion.
That includes getting to know each other’s friends and family over the course of time.
Knowing a few of your LDR partner’s real-life friends on a first-name basis (and having their contact info) also provides a sense of importance.
13. Dare to Tread Outside of Comfort Zones
In all LDR relationships, and in-person relationships for that matter, there are times when you need to be willing to tread outside of your comfort zone.
This is usually for your partner’s benefit, but it is truly mutually beneficial (because we all need to break out of our comfort zones now and then) for you both.
Maybe your partner wants you to try something strange today, but maybe it’s your idea that makes them uncomfortable tomorrow.
In LDR relationships, things are often give and take (and so they should be if all’s fair).
14. Stay on Top of Important Issues
Staying on top of life’s most important issues is extra crucial when you are in a long distance relationship.
When you’re dating someone who lives far away, they might as well be on the other side of the planet, and you end up focusing a large majority of your time thinking about and communicating with them rather than on normal everyday issues.
The problem is that life’s everyday normal issues don’t go away just because your lover isn’t at hand’s reach.
That’s why couples in long distance relationships need to work at staying focused on mundane but important non-relationship issues more than “regular” couples.
15. Avoid Being Negative About Distance
It’s very easy to focus on the things that are negative in the world, including in your long distance relationship.
But, being sucked into a pit of negativity is the risk you run when your focus is equally fixed on the good things.
In long distance relationships, the distance between you and your partner is of course the easiest thing to get side-tracked on.
Avoid being negative about distance in your relationship. Instead, focus on all the great times you’ll have together, and what you’re doing to make it happen.
16. Focus on Positive Matters
When your partner is never around, and you miss them constantly, it’s easy to get negative.
In a long distance relationship, one of the first things you need to master (if you want to make things easier for the both of you) is how to remain/refocus on positive matters when you feel yourself getting negative.
The more focused you remain on the positive factors of life, and your long distance relationship, the better the chances are your relationship will remain fruitful and rewarding in the long run.
17. Respect Your Partner’s Life, and Why You Aren’t Together
Speaking of remaining positive, sometimes the hardest factors to be positive about are the ones you don’t like.
That includes aspects of your partner’s life that you don’t understand, or like, as well as basic factors like the fact that you are physically distant.
Respecting your partner for who they are, and how they live their life, is one of the surest ways to let them know you accept them and love them and want to be in their life no matter what.
Without respecting each other’s lives, and what’s keeping you apart, you’re not very likely to make it as a couple (let alone end up being together physically).
18. Create Plans and Carry Them Out
One of the greatest ways to ensure that you stay together, and grow closer, is to make plenty of plans, and carry them out as you go.
We’re not talking about bank robberies, here, or 20-year business plans either.
Making plans with your long distance relationship partner may be as simple as agreeing to watch a streaming movie together, or taking a walk in public “together.”
The more plans you make, and carry out, the more optimistic you’ll both be towards the ultimate outcome of your relationship.
19. Take Your Time Getting Serious About “The Plan”
“The Plan” is not to be confused with all the other little plans you make and carry out with your LDR partner.
The Plan is the big one. It’s the plan to end all plans, in regards to your relationship.
The Plan determines everything from where you’ll end up living together if you’ll have children, career-oriented details, and so much more.
Because of how crucial The Plan is, to both you and your friends and family, it is not something you should rush.
20. Plan on Being Together
Speaking of plans, one thing is for certain: both parties in an LDR relationship need to plan on being together.
Other than in rare cases where it works out better for both parties to permanently stay where they are, and be an LDR couple forever, actually planning on being together is crucial.
It may seem like an asinine point, that couples should actually plan to be together, but it really isn’t.
There’s an alarming amount of people who engage in long distance relationships with no intentions of ever leaving the nest.
It’s only fair that you know, or your partner knows if there is no genuine intent of ever being together physically.
21. Believe in Each Other
Couples in serious long distance relationships need to believe in each other and be vocal about it.
When you’re not around to comfort your partner and let them know you support them, in person, letting them know that you believe in them is huge.
Whether it’s via texting, voice calls, or video chatting, don’t hold back about how you feel towards your LDR partner.
They deserve to have a partner that believes in them, as do you (so, don’t settle for less!).
22. Avoid Doubting Your Partner’s Word
One of the cardinal sins of long distance relationships is doubting your partner’s word.
Firstly, if you feel you need to doubt your partner’s word… your relationship has some major issues.
Secondly, if you want to doubt your partner’s word, there are issues of another nature at work.
When you begin doubting your partner’s word, you are doubting the very foundation of all long distance relationships: the trust between you and your partner.
23. Offer Forgiveness to Each Other for Mistakes
In the case that your partner has made some mistakes during your relationship, if you love them, offer them forgiveness.
You are not perfect either, and may indeed make a mistake of your own in the future that you’d like to be forgiven for.
Forgiveness is a two-way street, and it also offers redemption to a third party each time it is given as well (your relationship itself).
24. Be Flexible With Your Mindset/Worldview
In order to be a highly functional LDR couple, both parties must be flexible with their mindset and worldview.
You are not your partner, and they are not you. You come from different places, parents, backgrounds, and circumstances.
Your partner is bound to think differently and feel differently about some things, regardless of how much you may have in common/agree upon in general.
That means you both need to work on expanding your comfort zones or being willing to try/accept things that make you uncomfortable.
25. Be the Real You
Being the real you is one of the most important things you need to do in a long distance relationship.
When all you have to go on is each other’s words, those words had better be meaningful and full of truth.
Otherwise, you have no idea what kind of person you are dating or vice versa.
If you plan to hopefully be together in person someday, you have to be real in order to get there.
26. Have Meeting Times (and Respect Them)
Setting and showing up for regular meeting times is a great way to build a bond, and increase trust/respect for each other.
Showing up on time shows you respect the other person as well as the time you get to spend talking with them.
It also shows that you are trying your best to make things work.
If you have meeting times, but you always blow them off when your friends show up, your partner is going to notice it and feel bad.
27. Stay Independent
Staying independent from your LDR partner is another crucial aspect of successful long distance relationships.
When you are yourself, and your partner respects you and supports you, it’s easy to stay independent.
That said, when dealing with jealous and insecure long distance partners, your independence will be challenged over and over.
If your partner is trying to stifle your independence, do not overlook it. It is a red flag, especially early on in the relationship.
For a long distance relationship to work out, both parties need to be as independent as they’ve ever been (all while being respectful and supportive to each other).
28. Plan for the “Together” Years
One major misstep that LDR couples often make is forgetting to plan for all the years you’d like to spend together one day.
Finding ways to make your long distance thing work is one animal, planning for the final solution (being together/living together) is a different animal completely.
The ultimate goal of a healing long distance relationship should, of course, be to end up together with the person you’ve been communicating with/dating online.
It’s a major red flag if your LDR partner is always dismissive about future plans, especially the ones concerning the “together” years.
29. Switch Up Your Communication Methods Sometimes
Long distance relationships work, in many ways, the same as all other personal relationships, including sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences with each other.
All of which are shared via texts, calls, or video chats (and possibly letters in snail mail).
That means from time to time you’ll need to switch up your communication methods if you don’t want to grow bored with the same old routine.
30. Be Intimate With Each Other
Intimacy is not only for couples that live together or get to be with each other physically.
Intimacy is a mental state in which you and your partner both protrude love and affection mingled with romance and sexiness.
You don’t have to hold hands or spoon on the couch while NetFlix is playing in the background to be intimate, or have sex for that matter.
Intimacy for LDR couples includes deep conversation, being honest, sharing their sexuality together, and much more (including pics, vids, and streaming).
The more ways that you have to communicate with each other, and the more often you alternate them, the more interesting things stay between you!
31. Watch Movies Together (Remotely)
Watching movies together is a really easy way to spend quality time together, especially if it’s on a platform that allows you to chat right on the screen.
Even if you are both watching the same movie independently, not watching via a streaming platform you are both logged into, it is still just as great an activity.
All you need is to agree on what sort of movie to watch, or take turns picking.
Just remember, if you talk smack about their pick, they have the right to talk smack during your pick as well!
32. Go Out in Public Together (Remotely)
Going out in public together is one of the best activities for LDR couples, period.
You both get exercise, both of your exes see you smiling and happy (talking to your lover, obviously), and life is all good!
Where you go, and what you do, is really up to you two!
My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I believe a few simple tips can help people massively improve their communication skills with their partners and really express themselves. Thanks for visiting!