Have you had a guy ghost on you and wondered why? Most women have at some point in their lives.
If you have had this happen to you and wondered what caused him to disappear, we have the answers. In this article, we will look at why guys ghost after a one night stand, how to prevent it from happening to you and look at a few other pertinent questions.
Why Guys Ghost After a One Night Stand
1. They Just Wanted to Hookup
The unfortunate truth is that many men have absolutely no interest in relationships. They want a little fun, maybe some companionship and that is where it ends. As soon as you mention words like love, marriage, or even exclusive they will ghost you in a heartbeat.
This type of guy believes that variety is the spice of life and has no interest in even a steady bed partner. They are just looking for the next conquest and have no interest in exploring the same cave more than once or twice. Another mountain to climb is their goal.
2. The Sex Wasn’t That Great
This one can be painful to think about, but it’s the truth. Not everybody you hook up with is going to be compatible. Some men like a tiger in bed. Other men prefer a pillow princess. It doesn’t mean you are not attractive or desirable. All it means is you had different expectations.
It is simply a matter of taste and there is no accounting for taste. If you like slow and steady then you need a man that plays that way. If your taste runs to whips and ropes then that is a completely different story.
3. You Were Moving to Fast
This is probably the number one reason guys ghost after a few hookups with a lady. You get together, have some fun, and just when you think everything is rocking he disappears.
Did you mention giving him a key to your place or getting one to his? Did you bring up being exclusive for any reason including safety? maybe, you just mentioned him meeting your friends or family. If you did and he ghosted you the reason is pretty obvious. You were charging ahead and he wasn’t ready for more than fun and games.
4. Commitment Issues
It may sound trite but many men do have commitment issues. Not just about serious relationships but about any relationships. For these fellows, any form of commitment, even promising to call is too much. They live their lives footloose and will not be bound by social norms.
If this type of guy ghosts you, thank your lucky stars. These toxic men will do nothing for your self-esteem and even if they have a conscious will only make your life a rollercoaster of uncertainty.
5. They are In Another Relationship
This is one of the most disturbing reasons why men ghost after sex. It does happen all too often though. Some men will still play even if they are supposed to be in a serious relationship. Maybe they feel they have something to prove. Perhaps their just bored. There is even a strong possibility that their simply pricks.
Regardless of the reason chasing after them can only bring heartache and possibly land you in litigation. Counting your blessings and moving on is the best advice.
6. Too Much Competition
Some guys will ghost you after you hook up with them because they feel they can’t compete. If you are that hot chick that all the guys make eyes at, many men will feel like you are out of their league. Even if they feel blessed you spent time on them they are not confident enough to believe it will last.
If you like a guy like this and want to see him again, it is best to make it known as soon as you can. Otherwise, they will fade away into the shadows.
7. You Made Them Feel Bad
If you looked sad or even giggled when he pulled his pants off odds are he will ghost on you. If you were rude or criticized his taste in clothing, food, music, pick a topic he probably won’t be back. Worst of the worst, if you compared him to other men kiss him goodbye.
People hook up to feel good, not bad, and if you hurt his feelings or made him feel less than the king of the world there is a very good chance your phone won’t ring or messages be returned.
How to Stop a Guy from Ghosting After a One Night Stand
Make Him Chase You
You can’t get ghosted if you aren’t chasing him. Don’t ask for his number. Never send the first text. Don’t be the preditor be the prey.
You don’t need to be cold just cool enough to let him know you understand your value and won’t be taken lightly. Men are hunters and enjoy the chase. Let him do the chasing. You won’t seem desperate and can start building a relationship on your terms, not his.
Raise Your Standards
If you are getting ghosted after a one-night stand on a regular basis then you are probably making bad choices. Don’t hook up with a guy from the club the first night you meet. Stay away from the guy with the big muscles, but no brains. Avoid men who are hot for the sheets but not interested in who you really are.
You can’t eat steak if all you buy is bologna. If you want quality you have to set your standards high enough that all you take home is quality. If you wouldn’t be proud to show him off to your friends and family, don’t hook up.
Be Clear From the Start
It doesn’t matter where you hook up with a man, you need to have some grounds rules for yourself and for them. Don’t be afraid to make it crystal clear what you are wanting from the start. If all you want is a one-night stand let the man know that. If you are looking to build a relationship, make that plane.
A key point here is to know what you want before you leave the house. Men will respect a lady that knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to tell them. They will use a woman that has no standards for herself or the men she hooks up with.
Change Your Definition of Ghosting
Before you get all hot and bothered about guys ghosting make sure you understand what ghosting is. If you hook up with a guy in the club, fan the sheets all night and he disappears the next day. You didn’t get ghosted. The truth is, you got what it appears you were looking for – even if you weren’t!
By the same token, If you have been seeing a guy regularly for more than three months and he disappears in a puff of smoke that isn’t ghosting either. That is an A-hole.
Ghosting is somewhere in between. You have started a relationship and then he is gone. No calls, texts, or explanations. He simply disappears.