10 Reasons Guys Get Shy Around the Girl They Like

As a relationship and dating coach, and someone who used to be shy around women, I can tell you that there are some common reasons why guys get shy around the girl they like.

I put together the 10 most popular reasons why he may be acting shy around you. Read on!

Do Guys Get Shy Around the Girl They Like

Yes, many guys get shy around the girl they like. The reasons are because he fears rejection, he feels you are out of his league, he lacks experience around women, he really wants to impress you, he is blinded by your beauty, he may be unsure of his feelings, he could be hiding something, maybe he thinks you are dating someone, or perhaps he is just a shy person.

Why Is He Shy Around Me

1. He’s Scared of Rejection

The fear of being rejected is primitive in nature, and can be overwhelming. Men are wired to feel this way, and this is the most common reason why guys get shy around a girl.

He may want to talk to you, or ask you out. This could cause him to act very differently than he normally would, to avoid making himself vulnerable.

2. He Feels You Are Out of His League

Many guys lack the self confidence necessary to interact normally with girls they find attractive. For whatever reason, he may not feel good enough, and therefore might feel intimidated. This causes him to be hesitant and shy.  

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3. He Lacks Experience

If a guy has not been around many girls, he does not have the experience of interacting with them. It is even harder when he finds you attractive. The more he thinks about it, the more shy he will be.

4. He Wants to Impress You

When a guy likes you, he wants you to think highly of him and like him back. He may impose a lot of pressure on himself, overthink things, and be afraid of making mistakes. This causes him to feel insecure, and act shy. 

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5. Social Conditioning

Guys are supposed to be the ones who initiate everything with girls, at least that is what is seen in movies and on television. “Be the man,” is constantly echoed by our famous idols.

This leads to men feeling like they need to be perfect and have everything figured out before approaching the girl they like. Guys fear making a fool of themselves.

6. He’s Blinded By Your Beauty

Even confident men get rattled around women they find super attractive. It may happen when you get close to him physically, or when you look him in the eye. Something pushes him over the edge and may paralyze his ability to interact normally with you.

7. He’s Unsure of His Feelings

If a guy is still deciding if he likes you, he may act shy until he figures things out. He doesn’t want to lead you on or ruin his chances completely. So he acts shy around you until he has a better understanding of how he feels.

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8. He’s Hiding Something

There are times when guys act shy because they are trying to hide something from you. Perhaps there is someone else, or maybe his feelings for you have changed.

9. He Thinks You’re Dating Someone

If a guy thinks you are with someone else, he may be hesitant to be around you. Perhaps he fears the other guy, or believes you are already taken. He may not want to waste his time.

10. He May Be a Shy Person

Some guys are just shy. He probably acts this way around everyone. It is probably worse around a girl he is interested in. As you get to know him better, he should lose some of his shyness. Go slow and be kind and understanding.

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Why Is He Shy Around Me but Not Others

He is shy around you but not around others because he likes you and may think you are out of his league. Perhaps your beauty intimidates him, and he lacks the experience and self-confidence to be himself while with you. He might be scared you won’t be impressed and will reject him, or possibly he is hiding something.

Why Do Guys Get Shy Around a Girl

Guys get shy around a girl because they find her attractive, they fear rejection, they have social anxiety, they want to make a good impression, they lack experience interacting with women, or they might see her as out of their league.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How Do You Tell if a Guy Is Shy or Just Not Into You?

Distinguishing between shyness and lack of interest can be challenging. However, some signs can indicate shyness, such as avoiding eye contact, blushing, or fidgeting.

Yet, if a guy consistently shows disinterest, cancels plans, or avoids spending time with you altogether, it could be a sign that he is genuinely not interested.

What Can I Do to Help a Shy Guy Feel More Comfortable Around Me?

To make a shy guy feel more at ease, be approachable, be patient, be friendly, be understanding, and avoid putting pressure on him to open up right away.

Engage in casual conversations, show genuine interest in his hobbies or passions, listen when he speaks, and provide positive reinforcement.

Be yourself, gradually build trust, and allow him to take things at his own pace.

Should I Make the First Move if He Is Shy?

If you’re interested in a shy guy, making the first move can help break the ice and show your interest. However, it’s important to be sensitive to his comfort level.

Start with subtle gestures like initiating conversations or inviting him out casually. Pay attention to his response and adjust your approach accordingly.

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How Long Does It Take for a Shy Guy to Open Up?

The time it takes for a shy guy to open up varies from guy to guy. It depends on his individual comfort level, past experiences, and the amount of trust he has for you.

It could take weeks, months, or even longer. Patience, understanding, and consistent support can help create an environment where a shy guy feels safe enough to open up.

More Info: Psychology Today


If you are asking yourself “why is he so shy around me,” you are in the right place. It could be because he is attracted to you, and feels nervous or self-conscious in your presence. Possibly he lacks self confidence or has had some negative experiences in the past.

Make sure to consider the guy and your relationship with him to determine the correct reason for his shyness. It’s important to remember that guy’s reasons may vary. Read above to learn all the possibilities.

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.