Sometimes guys ghost directly after first dates, even if the date was good. But, why do they really do it?
Read on below and find out the top 5 reasons guys ghost after a GOOD first date, and how to prevent it from happening to you!
Why Do Guys Ghost After a Good First Date
So, your first day with a seemingly cool guy went off without a hitch… and then he ghosted you right afterward.
You are not alone, it happens to the best of us!
That said, if you haven’t the foggiest clue why on earth he’d ghost you like that, these 5 common reasons may help shed light on things:
1. They Are Cheating on Their Partner
Often times when a first date went really good, almost too good actually, and then the guy ghosts you, it is because they are cheating on their partner.
In the case a guy ghosts you, for this reason, count it as a blessing in disguise. Imagine if he hadn’t ghosted you, and you didn’t find out he was already seeing someone… you’d feel crushed!
Better to be ghosted by a cheater than to continue to have the wool pulled over your eyes about what’s really going on.
2. Your Personality Doesn’t Suit Them
Another pretty common reason guys ghost directly after the first date is because your personality just didn’t suit them.
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What does that actually mean? Simple: said guy had some fantasy version in his head, of how you would be, act, talk, etc., and when you actually met, your real personality was nothing like he’d imagined.
This is another case where you should thank your lucky stars. If he didn’t ghost you, and you end up in a long-term relationship, what other unreal expectations might he have for you?
3. They Don’t Like the Way You Look
Perhaps the shallowest reason of all that a guy will ghost you after a good first date is that he just simply didn’t like the way you look.
Whether your eyes remind him of his ex, or your figure reminds him of his mother, there’s just something about you that he can’t get past.
As rude as it seems, many guys would rather ghost you than deal with the mushy feelings associated with letting you down.
Plus, if he really doesn’t like how you look, what do you think may happen when a woman he does find attractive comes into his life?
4. Your Presence/Appearance Intimidates Them
Sometimes your very presence is enough to intimidate a guy and cause him to ghost you.
Whether it’s your good looks, sharp wits, or the way you own your sexuality, there’s something about you that makes him feel insecure.
If your presence intimidates him enough that he ghosts after the first date, you probably deserve a stronger and more self-assured guy anyhow!
5. They Wanted Quick Sex and Didn’t Get it
When a guy goes on a first date, believing that it will end in a steamy make-out session or sex, and it doesn’t… he might just ghost you for it.
On the other hand, even if the first date does end up back at someone’s house, tangled in the bedsheets, he may still find a reason to ghost you.
If your sexuality was too powerful, or submissive, he might be turned off and ghost. Likewise, if he just didn’t enjoy the sex very much, he may ghost.
How to Stop a Guy From Ghosting After a Good First Date
If you go on your first date well aware of the reasons why a guy ghosts, even after good dates, you have a better chance at preventing it.
Here are a few pointers for you to consider before your next first date with a new guy:
- Stay focused on your date and the venue
- Don’t talk about your personal issues much
- Keep it real and be honest with your date
- Don’t sugarcoat things that aren’t pretty
- Avoid using/making excuses
- Try not to apologize for stuff that’s not your fault
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I text a guy who ghosted me after the first date?
It is a personal decision only you can make, whether or not to call back a guy who ghosted you after your first date. That said, all indicators point towards a big fat “no”. If he ghosted you the first time, what makes you think things will change?
What does ghosting say about a person?
Ghosting may say all sorts of things about a person, but, without knowing the real reason why they ghosted, you can’t really tell. They could be too self-centered to care about you, or maybe they care too much and don’t feel good enough for you. At any rate, being ghosted is damaging to mental health and self-esteem.
How long with no contact is considered ghosting?
Generally speaking, if you don’t hear back from a guy after the first date in three days or less, it’s pretty clear that you’ve been ghosted. That said, don’t jump to conclusions just yet, give it a full week. People get busy, lose their phones, get their service turned off, and have family/work emergencies come up all the time.
My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I believe a few simple tips can help people massively improve their communication skills with their partners and really express themselves. Thanks for visiting!