DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
Let’s face it, the way guys act sometimes is mysterious. One night you’re hooking up and the next day he’s acting funny.
There are multiple reasons why this could be.
Here are 9 possible reasons why guys act weird after hooking up:
Why Do Guys Act Weird After Hooking Up?
It can be confusing when a guy changes his attitude after hooking up. Here are some of the most common reasons for this behavior:
1. He’s Trying To Figure Out How He Feels
It’s possible that hooking up has changed the relationship for your guy, and he needs some time to process the new situation. He may be acting quiet or a bit distant as a way to work it out before he can talk with you about it.
If this sounds like your guy, let him take things slowly at first. He probably just needs time before he feels ready to be as open as he used to be. This may actually be a good thing because he’s taking time to authentically assess how he feels as a way of respecting you.
If you want him to open up more, try initiating the conversation yourself. You can ask if things are weird or uncomfortable because of what happened between you two. If you don’t want to be too confrontational, consider sending him a text message so he can take his time to respond.
2. He’s Trying to Figure Out How You Feel
When a guy acts differently after hooking up, he might be wondering how you feel about what happened. He may become quiet or distant as a way to avoid making assumptions and hurting your feelings.
It can be difficult for women because we often prefer to talk these things out, and many men don’t intuitively think to do so. If you think your guy is waiting to hear how you feel, be confident and let him know! This doesn’t mean that you have to have your whole future with him figured out, but you can at least be clear about how you feel for now.
3. He Feels Self-Conscious
If you hooked up and things weren’t as magical or romantic as planned, this may make your guy feel a bit self-conscious. He may be acting more quiet or distant as a way to avoid feeling embarrassed about what happened between you two.
If you felt positive about the experience, give him some support and let him know that it’s okay. This will let him know that he doesn’t have to be embarrassed and can relax around you.
4. He Thinks You’re Acting Weird
There are times when guys act weird after hooking up because they think that you’re acting strange. Ask yourself if your behavior has changed since that night. Have you been asking him to hang out more? Are you more nervous when you’re around him? Have you started using pet names like “honey” or “sweetie”?
If so, understand that he may not know how to react or what to expect. If this is the issue, try opening up more about your feelings and intentions so he knows how you feel without having to guess. You can also ask him how he feels too so that you’re both on the same page and acting “normal”.
5. He Was Looking for Something Casual
If this guy is only interested in casual relationships or one-night stands, this may be the reason why he is acting weird. He may have been looking for something less emotional and more physical in nature, but now feels guilty because of how close it has become between you two.
This isn’t always easy to figure out, but you can at least be honest with him. You can directly ask him what kind of relationship he is looking for and he will let you know if he thinks that you two have a future.
If he says he isn’t interested in more than a casual relationship, you can decide whether or not that’s something you’re okay with. At least now you know and aren’t wasting any more time on someone who isn’t looking for a long-term relationship.
6. He Has Been Busy
Sometimes we can mistake weirdness or distance for a lack of availability. It doesn’t feel good when someone you recently hooked up with doesn’t answer your texts or calls right away, but he may legitimately be busy.
If this is the case, don’t take it personally and give him time to get back to you before starting to worry or assume he doesn’t like you anymore. If he does get back with more of a sense of urgency, then that’s usually an indication that things are okay between you two.
You can ask him about his schedule if you want to clarify it so that you can respect his work or school hours without getting worried about what the lack of communication means.
7. He’s Afraid of Vulnerability
Sometimes guys act weird or distance themselves after hooking up because they are afraid of getting too emotionally close. He may feel like he is opening himself up to an emotional situation when there’s no real reason for it, so why risk the vulnerability?
If this sounds familiar, be open about your intentions with him and let him know what you’re looking for in the relationship. This can help to make him less intimidated and scared of what might happen if he lets you in.
If not, just understand that it may be a matter of timing and give him some space until he is ready to open up without fear or worry. Letting him come around on his own time will help the situation and keep things from getting too awkward between you two.
8. He’s Seeing Other People
It’s not the most positive reason why someone is acting weird, but it can be a reason. This doesn’t always mean that he has been hooking up with other people since you two hooked up, either.
It could also simply indicate the fact that he was seeing someone else first and isn’t sure how to handle his feelings about both of you or what this means for your relationship.
The best approach to this is to ask your guy if he is open and seeing other people right now. Don’t ask too many specifics, since you are not yet his girlfriend and need to have respect for his personal life. However, for the sake of safety and respect, it’s important if he tells you if he’s hooking up with other people.
If he says yes, then it’s probably best to see him in a casual way until he is ready for something more serious. This means not getting too attached or starting to consider the possibility of long-term commitment because that isn’t what he wants right now.
9. He’s Not Acting Weird
Sometimes we assume a guy is acting weird after hooking up because we feel weird. This makes us super-sensitive to the actions and mannerisms of others.
Take some time to ask yourself if this is the case. If you’re not sure, then find a friend and talk it out with them. Get their perspective on what’s going on and see if they can help to clear things up for you or tell you anything about the situation that might be helpful in understanding why your guy is acting differently towards you than before hooking up.
Do Guys Catch Feelings After Hooking Up?
Men are definitely emotionally affected after a hook-up. Whether or not they are affected in the same way as women depends on a lot of factors. Some men may feel more compelled to take things slow after hooking up, while others might want to move forward quickly or even start dating right away.
The most important factor is communication. A man who is ready for a relationship will find it to be comfortable and easy to talk about what happened. He may take initiative and ask you on a date, tell you about his feelings, or even just check in with a text to see how you feel afterward.
If your guy is struggling to talk about what happened, then it may be because he’s not ready for anything serious yet, even if he has caught feelings. He will need to do some personal work to be ready for a continued relationship.
How to Tell if a Guy is Interested in You After You Hook Up
If you’re trying to figure out if a guy is into you after hooking up, then the best place to look would be at his actions. This means paying attention to whether he initiates contact with you again or shows an interest in seeing more of you.
You will also want to pay attention to how he acts when you’re together. If he’s interested, he will be warm, physically affectionate, and relaxed around you. He will make romantic or flirtatious comments confidently, and won’t be afraid to express his interest in front of others.
It’s always a good idea to talk to your guy after hooking up to get a clear idea of how he’s feeling. If he responds positively to your questions, it’s a clear sign that he’s being honest and isn’t feeling obligated to say anything more than he’s comfortable with.
Don’t forget to let him know how you feel as well! Many men also wonder where their partners are at after hooking up and appreciate confident honesty.
Should I Text Him After Hooking Up?
It can be challenging to know whether you should message your guy after hooking up, especially if it’s the first time that it has happened. If you want to avoid overstepping your boundaries or coming on too strong, then it’s a good idea to ask yourself some questions first.
- Is he someone that I see myself dating in the future?
- Does he have feelings for me? What are they?
- Do we normally text a lot, especially after hanging out?
These questions can help provide some context that will let you know what’s the most appropriate approach.
If you’re feeling a desire to reach out but aren’t sure if it’s a good idea, you can message him something casual and non-confrontational. Here are some good texts that you can send that aren’t too direct:
- I hope you got home safe. Thanks for coming over!
- That was fun, thanks. Have a great week.
- I really had a great time. Let me know if you’d like to hang out again.
- What a wild ride! Thanks for the excitement.
These texts are positive, grateful, and don’t put a lot of pressure on a guy to have another date or get directly into a conversation about feelings and relationship status.
Give him some time to get back to you and don’t take it personally if he takes a few days.
It can be a strange experience to hook up with a guy and then wonder if he’s into you or not. Men are sensitive after sex even though they don’t show it in the same way that women do, so be sure to give him some time before pushing things too hard.
Pay attention to his actions instead of what he says directly, and let him know how you feel in a confident, but not in an overly confrontational way. If you do this, you’ll eventually be able to tell if he’s ready for a relationship or not and how he feels about you as well.