The best relationships often result in some of the worst breakups.
And the worse a breakup is, the more you find yourself thinking about your ex-boyfriend. Whether you’re still in love with him, whether the breakup was just messy, or whether you need some closure, you might discover that he’s still on your mind.
It’s at this crucial time that many women start to wonder how to make an ex-boyfriend jealous.
If you’re at that same point, we’ll show you what kinds of things you could say to make him jealous…but without any pettiness. Too many people fall prey to playing immature games here, and in the end, it comes to nothing.
We’ll show you the way to avoid childish jealousy games while still having the potential to make him jealous.
Empower Yourself First
Before you pick up your phone, you need to focus on yourself a bit first.
You need to get to a point in your mind where you feel calm, collected, and content (if not happy yet). The best way to do this is by taking to steps to show yourself that you don’t need your ex to be happy.
Here’s what we recommend doing:
Take baby steps to get better.
Right after the breakup is when you’ll feel the worst. You might have a period of time where you struggle to get out of bed, you call into work sick, and you stop taking care of yourself while you hide under the covers.
Don’t feel ashamed of this period. If you need a little extra time to recover, take it, but work to limit it.
Tell yourself, for example, that you’ll take one week to let yourself be a bit of a wreck. Once your time is up, start taking tiny baby steps to get yourself up and going again.
Take a long shower. Do some yoga – you don’t even need to go to a studio to do it, as you can just stretch out on your bedroom or living room floor.
Engage in other basic hygienic practices, like doing your hair, makeup, or your nails. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful.
Then, when you’re tidied up a bit, move on to the next phase of your recovery:
Related Article: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Blocking and Unblocking Me?
Start doing things that make you feel good.
You’ll go beyond just showering and cleaning yourself up at this stage. At this point in your recovery, you’ll start slowly opening yourself up to the things you love doing again.
Make plans to go out with your closest friends. Have a wild night out on the town with the people who make you laugh the most.
If you’re an artist, dive back into your medium. If you’re an athlete, hit the ground running and start practicing your sport of choice again.
In other words, open yourself up to experiencing life once more. It doesn’t mean you have to start dating just yet, but you’ll work your way up to it, until you can do this:
Consider putting yourself out there again.
This is a scary step to take, and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Don’t move on just for the sake of moving on, or because you think it might make your ex jealous. You’ll have to really think about whether or not you’re ready to move past him.
That means you’ll have to be able to go on dates without thinking about your ex too much or bringing him up. You’ll have to be able to go through your everyday life without feeling like you miss him constantly.
When you get to this point, yes, consider putting yourself out there in the dating field again. Take as much time as you need to get there, though.
What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend to Make Him Jealous
Now that you’re in a better place, you can think about texting your ex. You’ll be able to resist the siren call of immature games, which will make him miss you even more.
That being said, here are some of the best pettiness-free methods of making him jealous:
Casually let him know you’re doing well.
Don’t go out of your way to do this, but if you’re already talking a little, feel free to let him know you’re doing well. Indicate you have plans, you’re feeling great (even if you’re not), and that you’re excited for your future.
You may have heard the saying, “success is the best revenge,” and we think that concept applies here. The greatest thing about this strategy is it’s completely non-toxic.
No petty games here – you’re just telling him that you’re doing great.
He’ll feel jealous, anyway, because you won’t seem like you’re upset over losing him. He’ll see that you never needed him to begin with, and it’s even worse if he’s secretly missing you like crazy.
Example: “I’ve got some plans this weekend. I’m so excited!”
Talk about anything except your feelings for him.
This one might sound a little weird, but trust us here. No matter what you may be thinking and feeling, avoid talking about how he’s still on your mind or how you feel about him.
Whenever he texts you or vice versa, go with the flow…but don’t open up about your feelings.
As the conversation goes on, he’ll start to wonder if you’re thinking about him at all, or if you’ve already made a complete recovery. Seeing you seemingly happy without him will get him curious about you all over again…and whether he should try to win you back over.
Make it all about him…sort of.
As you talk to your ex-boyfriend, center the conversation on him. Ask him how he’s doing, what he’s up to, how he’s feeling – questions focused on him rather than yourself.
Aside from letting you gather some info on what he’s up to these days, he’ll catch himself getting curious about you, too. He may find himself returning the favor and asking you questions.
If you were dying to mention that you’ve been dating someone else to make him green with envy, this is the most natural and non-petty way to do it. He may ask what you’re doing, and you could use the time to just briefly mention you have a date planned this weekend…just steer clear of providing him excessive details.
Example: “Hey, *his name.* How have you been doing?”
Recommended Article: What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend on His Birthday (And If You Should)
Don’t text him.
Maybe it’s cheating putting this option in this guide, but sometimes, the best option is literally not doing anything at all.
You could be completely obsessed over him still, and he’d have no idea if you didn’t text him. So even if you’re sitting there stalking his profile on Facebook, he’ll think that you’re too busy doing other things to think of him.
He’ll start wondering what’s going on with your life and why you’re not clinging to him. His imagination will run wild…all with absolutely no effort on your part.
Even better, you won’t have the opportunity this way to make yourself look bad. You won’t be begging, trying to get his attention, or anything else unflattering.
Out of all the options in this guide, this one is the lowest risk.
If you’re looking for a more proactive way to draw him back into your life and you don’t want to use other suggestions on this list, take a look at the Text Chemistry Course by Amy North.
She’s a relationship coach with years of experience to back up the course she created. She even has text templates written with psychologically proven methods that will make him regret breaking up with you.
Or check out our ultimate guide to texting guys.
Don’t Waste Your Time with These Jealousy Games
We’ve talked throughout this guide about avoiding immature games. To help you better understand what you need to avoid, we’ll explain some of the most common ones that heartbroken women play.
Avoid messing with him in these ways, and you’ll come out of this looking like the independent woman that you are:
Telling him you’ve found someone else.
Whether or not it’s true, there’s no reason to give him details he doesn’t need.
Need some convincing on this matter? Just think about how you’d feel if the tables were turned, and he kept texting you to tell you how things are going great with his new date.
You’d most likely feel annoyed, and you might start to think that he’s not as over you as he claims to be. If he stood any chance of getting back together with you, he probably blew it into pieces by constantly letting you know how he has no problem meeting other women right after dating you.
He’ll feel the exact same way if you decide to try to convince him you’ve replaced him.
Now, it’s a whole other story if the subject comes up naturally, such as him asking you about your weekend and you tell him you went on a date. It’s fine to touch on it in the natural flow of the conversation.
The difference here is you’re not trying to bring it up out of nowhere for the sole purpose of making him jealous.
Sending him selfies of you looking your best.
Sending a selfie is almost never a bad idea when you’re in a relationship. It’s an easy way to make sure someone is thinking of you.
After a breakup, though, sending a selfie to your ex-boyfriend is a huge no-no. If you’ve gone though a glow-up afterward to make yourself feel better, you might be especially tempted to do this to let him know what he’s missing.
In all honesty, it might even get him wishing he were with you again…but at the cost of you playing a silly game to mess with his head rather than being honest with him.
If you’re really missing him, think about checking out our guide on what to text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him instead.
Sending him pictures of you with someone else.
This relates to just sending him a selfie, but it’s so much worse that we thought it deserved its own section.
Someone we know once got a random picture out of the blue of her ex with another woman…long after the fact she broke up with him. She laughed, blocked her ex, then went out with her current boyfriend.
If you think sending him a picture of you with another man is going to make him jealous, forget about it. All it will tell him is that you’re still caught up on him when he might have moved on already.
That’s embarrassing for you, and you deserve better.
Even in the event you’re really with another guy, focus on him rather than your ex. Let yourself enjoy his company and the present instead of getting snagged on the past.
Chasing after someone he knows well.
One thing we’ve seen women do when they want to make their ex jealous is immediately pursuing someone he knows, like his friends, coworkers, or even someone else in his family.
The hope here is that he’ll see you being happy with someone he knows. Your successful relationship will be rubbed in his face, and he’ll have no option but to know about it because it’s with someone who was already a part of his life.
As tempting as all this may sound, avoid it. It’s needlessly petty, and it forces you to have to be in some way connected to your ex, however distantly.
Just like he’ll see you with someone else, you’ll inevitably end up seeing him with someone else, all because you chose to go after someone he’s connected to.
If you end up falling for someone else in his social circle naturally, that’s wonderful. But you may want to have a serious discussion with them and your ex about whether or not everyone is comfortable with it.
Further Reading: What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend to Make Him Want You Back
Learn How to Text Him in a Way that Keeps Him From Ever Wanting to Break Up
Related Article: How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Over Text (In 3 Simple Steps)
Breaking up is rarely, if ever, easy. A lot of the time, it happens when we’re feeling more in love with our partner than ever.
If that sounds like the situation you’re in, and you’re fighting to get your ex back, we recommend using the best strategies you can find. Our personal favorites come from the celebrated Text Chemistry program.
As you can guess, it’s a course that focuses on how any woman can use simple text messages to get a guy obsessing over them. You could use these methods, too.