There are times it’s harder to resist texting your ex-boyfriend than others.
Usually, these are times that you find yourself thinking of him more. It could be on your anniversary, or when a movie comes out that you know he’d like.
His birthday is another example of a time you might not be able to get him out of your head. If you’re still friends on social media, you’ll see notifications.
You’ll also watch as well wishes flood his wall. He’ll probably post a status thanking everyone, too.
The whole time, your fingers will be itching to tap out a quick message to him.
What should you text your ex-boyfriend on his birthday? Should you even text him at all?
Keep reading, and we’ll go over everything you should know about what to text your ex-boyfriend on his birthday.
How to Determine if You Should Even Text Him on His Birthday
Let’s start with the very first question you should be asking yourself: should you text your ex on his birthday?
Unfortunately, the answer isn’t that easy. It could be yes or no, depending on a variety of situations.
So, to answer that question, let’s take a look at those situations:
What is the current state of your relationship?
Start by examining what your relationship with him is currently like. Not what you wish it was like, what it used to be like, or how you think it will be the future…
Look at yourselves as objectively as possible right now.
Are you friends or on pretty good terms? Then it’s perfectly reasonable to wish him a happy birthday.
Still feeling hurt or you’re distant from each other? Probably not a good time to text him at all, then.
Do you have any ulterior motives?
Be honest with yourself: if you’re thinking about texting your ex-boyfriend, you’re probably hoping something will come from it.
Here’s where you stop to think about what exactly that is.
Are you hoping to get him thinking of you again? Do you want to try and put your former relationship back together?
With those motivations, it’s not necessarily the best idea to try and reach out to him. Give yourself time to think about it and recover before you attempt to talk to him again.
On the other hand, if literally all you want to do is wish him a happy birthday for the sake of being courteous, then go for it! That means you’re not expecting anything else to happen afterward, which is the right frame of mind to be in.
Related Article: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Blocking and Unblocking Me?
How long ago did you break up?
It’s no secret that one of the hardest times after any breakup is immediately after you end the relationship.
That’s the period of time where your grief will be the strongest. Because of this, your feelings will be a huge mixed and messy bag.
If you’re still at that point where you can’t decide whether you love him, hate him, want to be his friend, or want to ignore him completely….then you probably shouldn’t text him.
The odds are higher that you’ll say something you regret. Wait for some more time to pass and your feelings to settle before you talk to him.
The farther in the past the breakup was, the more time to heal you’ve had. So if the breakup was a few months ago as opposed to just last week, you’re in a much more stable position to text him.
Do you still have feelings for him?
Here’s the million-dollar question. It’s also a really heavy one, so you might be resistant to answering it.
But think about it for a moment. If you can’t get your ex out of your head and if you’re struggling to keep away from him, is it because you still have feelings for him?
And if you do admit to having feelings for him, do you think those feelings are reciprocated?
This is a difficult area to navigate, because the answer to whether or not you should text him changes easily depending on what you have to say here.
If you’re still into him, but he’s clearly moved on, then it’s better for both of you to keep away from each other. You need time to heal, otherwise you risk breaking your heart even more.
But if you’re both considering getting together again, you should be talking to each other. You’ll need to work through this together, so taking a moment to wish him a happy birthday is fine.
Let’s look at this question from the other side, too. What if he has feelings for you, and you don’t feel the same way?
Then it’s best for you not to text him. He might read more into your message than you intended.
What can you do if you just can’t get over him, no matter how much time passes? You’ll need help to win him back, and we know just the person to help you: Amy North.
She’s a relationship coach who specializes in helping women everywhere get the man of their dreams – even if he’s an ex. Her Text Chemistry Course is a great place to start learning about what kinds of messages you can send him to make him long for you.
You Might Also Like: What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend to Make Him Jealous (Without Being Toxic)
Are you in the middle of your no contact period?
For those who haven’t heard of it, a no contact period is a period of time you designate not to talk to each other after a break up.
The goal is to give yourselves space and time to recover from the trauma of the break up. Without unnecessary conversations, you have the opportunity to move on without your ex breathing down your neck.
If you’re in the middle of a no contact period when his birthday happens, don’t text him. You owe it to yourself to finish the no contact period and continue healing.
You can always wish him a belated birthday once the no contact period is over.
What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend on His Birthday
A simple happy birthday and well wishes.
It happens every year: your Facebook and other social media accounts get flooded with messages on your birthday.
Most of them are very basic “Happy birthday!” comments. No matter how basic, though, they tell you that people are thinking of you.
While always appreciated, not everyone has to go into exhaustive detail pouring out their heart to you in their happy birthday wish. You don’t have to do it when talking to your ex-boyfriend, either.
However, we do recommend going a bit beyond just “happy birthday” if you’re going to text him. That’s because “happy birthday” by itself can seem a little cold - consider adding a smiling emoji or a cake emoji.
If you’d like to make your message even warmer, add another easy sentence like, “I hope you have a great day – you deserve it!”
Example: “Happy birthday, *his name.* I hope you have a fun time today!”
Ask him how he’s doing.
Looking to get a conversation started? Your best bet is to ask him a question. Questions make it easy for the other person to answer by opening the door to the conversation.
Don’t try and make it an intensely personal one, though – stick to something light and easy. Once the conversation is started, you can work your way to deeper topics if it feels natural.
Example: “Hey, *his name.* I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Got any big plans for today?”
Offer to treat him.
Save this approach for if you and your ex are on really good terms. If you’ve been talking regularly or you’re friends, it will make more sense to hang out again.
It can also be an excellent opportunity to gauge his interest in getting together with you again.
Keep in mind, though, it doesn’t need to be that way. You probably treat your friends on their birthdays, and it doesn’t need to be any different here.
Avoid offering to treat him at all costs if you still have unrequited feelings for him or you’re not really comfortable with each other yet. In those cases, you should stick to more basic texts or simply not text him at all.
Example: “Happy birthday, *his name!* How do you feel about drinks at the bar downtown sometime? It’s my treat.”
Don’t text him at all.
No matter how much you want to, the truth is that it’s oftentimes better to simply not text your ex at all on his birthday. No, not even to wish him a happy birthday, which seems like a common courtesy.
So when is it better to not text him at all?
Resist texting him if you’re still not over him, the breakup was very recent, or you’re not on good terms. In those situations, sending him even a boring “happy birthday” text is likely to stir up some drama or negative feelings.
Let him have fun and celebrate his birthday without hearing from his ex.
Further Reading: What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend to Make Him Want You Back
Fan the Flames of any Relationship…Even with Your Ex-Boyfriend
Related Article: How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Over Text (In 3 Simple Steps)
Whether you’re looking to start fresh in a new relationship or breathe life back into the fire of your relationship with your ex, you’re going to need to have a strong strategy in place.
Texting is incredibly important now. If you can’t text well, then building a connection is going to be so much harder.
What can you do to improve your texting abilities, aside from reading articles like these? You can take classes to strengthen your weak spots.
Amy North actually has program written with this intent in mind. Her Text Chemistry program is brimming with sneaky tips, tricks, and texts you can send to any man (even your ex) to get into his head again.