If you’ve been in the dating game for pretty much any length of time, you’ve run into him.
You know what we mean: the seemingly always gorgeous guy who draws you in by being fun to talk to, flirtatious, and just plain sexy. But then you start to notice some disturbing trends the more you get attached to him.
For one thing, he’s practically intangible. You feel like things are going great between you, but for some reason, it never gets past that “just talking” stage that so many relationships stagnate in.
Then he starts to blow you off. Warning bells start ringing in your head as he randomly pulls away, cancels dates, and takes longer to answer your texts.
Because so many people around the world have dealt with this kind of guy, we’ve created this guide on what to text a guy who keeps blowing you off.
Classic Blow-Off Signs
What exactly does blowing you off mean?
If you’re new to the world of dating, you may not know what the phrase actually means. And even if you do know a little, you might not recognize the signs right away.
In either case, here are some classic signs that a guy is blowing you off so you can recognize them when they happen:
Related Article: What to Text a Guy Who is Distant (To Pull Him Back In)
Making repeated excuses not to hang out with you.
We get it, and you should, too: sometimes, things happen. Maybe he has a really busy life, jam-packed with work, friends, family, school, or any other obligation.
But when you really care about someone, you make time to see them. If he always feeds you excuses rather than seeing you, then you should be wary.
While it’s possible that he really does have that much going on, there’s also a strong possibility he’s trying to dodge a date with you…unless it’s on his terms.
Canceling plans to see you.
Again, emergencies happen. Sometimes, you can’t make it to a date, regardless of how much you want to.
We should recognize that some things are beyond our control. When he cancels a date once and has a seemingly solid reason for doing so, accept it.
It becomes a problem, though, when you notice him doing this over and over again. Instances like this shouldn’t happen more than once or twice, so if you’ve got a string of cancelled dates, it’s a solid indicator that he’s just blowing you off.
Read Also: What to Text a Guy After He Cancels a Date
Acting cold or distant.
Have you ever talked to someone and you could just feel them pulling away from you?
Maybe they took a really long time to answer, or they only sent you cold one-word texts. He could have also simply not answered you at all.
Every once in a while, we just have a bad day, and he’s no exception to the rule. So if he pulls the cold routine every so often, it could just be because he had a stressful workday or maybe one of his friends is being a jerk.
Then again, if he’s regularly pulling away from you after periods of intense interest, you need to consider the possibility of him blowing you off for other things.
Read Also: What to Text a Guy Who is Distant
Dodging talks about your relationship.
Guys can get especially flaky when it comes to discussing where your relationship is going.
Now, there are a few reasons for this. One could be that you’re bringing the serious talk up a little too soon, and you’re overwhelming him.
But another reason could be that he’s not willing to commit to you at all. This is more likely the case when you’ve been seeing each other or been stuck in that “just talking” stage for months at a time with no indication on his end that he wants anything more.
These types of casual relationships are okay if that’s all you both want. But if you’re not both on the same page, a mature man will talk it out with you and be honest about his feelings one way or the other.
A guy who’s blowing you off, on the other hand, will avoid anything inconvenient for him.
Read next: Our ultimate guide to texting guys.
Taking a long time to respond to your texts or calls.
You can’t reasonably expect your man to respond to your texts in minutes every single time. In all healthy relationships, both partners have lives outside of each other.
That means he needs space to focus on his friends, family, work, or even school depending on your age. Because of this, it’s perfectly normal and healthy for him to not always answer you instantly.
So when is it an issue? It’s a problem when he always takes seemingly forever to respond.
Another bad sign is alternating periods of him being ultra-attentive and responding quickly, followed by extended periods of him dragging his feet when it comes to conversations. These are yo-yo guys, there one minute when it’s convenient for them, and gone the next.
When you see patterns like this emerging, he’s blowing you off.
Only flirting with you or reaching out to you first when he’s been drinking/late at night.
Now here’s one of the biggest red flags in the book.
When he never seems to want to talk to you when he’s sober or during the day, it’s never a good sign. It’s the same thing if he only ever wants to have those emotional talks after he’s been drinking.
Put simply, it means that he’s resistant to the idea of being serious with you when he’s in his right mind. Only having these talks when he doesn’t have as much control over himself shows that he’s not very into you.
And if he’s only texting you late at night, that’s a clear signal that he sees you as some kind of booty call. Again, if that’s what you want, then maybe it’s fine…but when you’re looking for a more formal commitment, you’ll want to take this as the sign of being blown off that it is.
You Might Also Like: What to Text a Guy After Exchanging Numbers (To Draw Him In)
Don’t Forget Your Own Value
So you’ve recognized the signs that you’re being blown off by him. What next?
Before you actually send him a text, take a moment to really appreciate yourself. You’re a unique, one-of-a-kind person.
If one man in this whole wide world won’t appreciate you, someone else will eventually. The odds are in your favor on this one.
We know it’s way easier said than done, but don’t let one guy get you down in the dumps for good. Take some time to grieve and work through your feelings.
You may need time to heal, and that’s completely okay.
When you’ve gotten back into your groove, put yourself out there again. You might just be surprised by what you find.
But don’t ever forget your own value, and don’t settle for something less just because it’s easy.
What to Text a Guy Who Keeps Blowing You Off
Let him reach out to you himself.
At some point, you need to stop doing all the work if he’s not willing to meet you halfway. And that’s just it: relationships take work.
You can’t carry all the weight by yourself. If he’s not helping you out, then as much as we hate to tell you, he may simply not be feeling a connection with you.
There are so many reasons why this may the case, like him being overwhelmed, him messing with you, or him possibly even finding someone else.
No matter what the reason is, step back and let yourself heal. Show him you’re not going to beg for his attention by making him do his share of the work.
By making him chase you, you send him the clear message that your time is valuable and he has to earn it. He just might find your confidence irresistible and step up his game to win you back over.
Want to know the secret to making him want to chase you all the time?
We thought so. Relationship coach Amy North has created her Text Chemistry course designed to teach any woman the methods she needs to draw any man in with nothing more than texting.
Tell him how it makes you feel.
This doesn’t mean texting him a rant or leaving him an angry voicemail, as good as those things might make you feel. What it does mean is being honest with him about the hurt he’s causing you.
Keep your tone as neutral and calm as you can, otherwise you’ll just make him go into defensive mode. When he’s feeling attacked, he’ll feel much less inclined to actually hear you out and see the error of his ways.
How do you keep it calm when you’re feeling anything but calm? Avoid “yelling” in the text with all caps, don’t call him names, don’t swear at him, and don’t insult him. Just lay out your feelings and let him know he’s not doing himself any favors.
Example: “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that cancelling our dates over and over again doesn’t make me feel great. I’d appreciate it if you could be honest with me instead of making excuses so I don’t waste my time.”
Recommended Article: What to Text a Guy First Without Seeming Desperate
Make it clear you’re moving on.
Eventually, you just have to let go. You can only deal with someone’s crap for so long before you realize they have nothing more to offer you.
When you’ve reached that point in your relationship with him, start by taking a deep breath and cooling off for a bit.
You don’t want to text him when you feel like you’re going to explode in rage. Nothing good will come of that, and you’ll be the one looking like a jerk in the end.
Like with opening up about your feelings, stay level-headed here. Stay away from texting in angry capital letters or flinging insults at him.
Take the high road, and if nothing else, you’ll feel proud of yourself in the end. Once you’re feeling a little cooler, tell him you’re done.
That’s it. End of story – and he’s not part of your happily ever after.
Example: “Getting to know you has been fun, but I think we’re done here. I wish you all the best.”
Call him out on it.
Honestly, this option is a bit more risky than just focusing on your feelings. But if you’re looking for a way to get right to the point, you can leave those feelings out of it entirely and tell him that blowing people off just isn’t a good thing for anyone to do.
If you explain it to him well in a way that doesn’t make him feel attacked, he might be much more open to your words. You could possibly prevent him from doing the same thing to others down the road.
Example: “Hey. I just wanted to tell you that it’s rude to always cancel plans or ignore people.”
See Also: 35+ Examples of What to Text a Guy First
Stop Him From Ever Wanting to Blow You Off Again
Further Reading: How to Text a Guy Good Morning (And Get Him Thinking About You)
The thing about our world is that not everything is black and white – there are many shades of gray in between.
While a guy blowing you off might be all on his end, it’s entirely possible you may have done something to contribute to that distance. It could be anything, from being too clingy to trying to force a relationship before he was ready.
Sometimes, you might even do these things without realizing it. The good news is, with resources like Amy North’s Text Chemistry program, you can learn how to text him in such a way that he won’t want to blow you off again.