What to Text a Guy Before the First Date (That Will Make You Irresistible)

The period of time right before the first date can be really stressful.

You know he liked you enough to want to go out with you. But waiting for the date before you talk to him again can get a little boring.

If you’ve had a lot of chemistry, you want to keep it up in text. And on the other hand, you don’t want to scare him away, either.

So if you’re wondering what to text a guy before the first date, we can help you out.

You’ll need to start by laying down some pre-date texting rules.

First: Some Pre-Date Texting Rules

Slow down on the texting.

There are some who might tell you not to text him at all beforehand. We personally feel like that’s a little drastic.

It’s okay to keep talking to him, but you might want to slow it down a bit. Don’t text him every hour.

We’d recommend restricting it to just a few times a day. This will show him that you’re still interested, save some conversation for the date, and prevent you from seeming clingy.

But don’t drop off the face of the earth, either.

Although you want to cut down on the texting a little bit, don’t completely disappear.

You’ll leave him wondering if the date’s still on, or if you’re going to stand him up. We don’t need to tell you that those are not good things to feel right before a date.

Think about what you want…and text accordingly.

Defining where you want the relationship to go will help you decide the tone to take in your texts.

When you want a relationship that could become serious, avoid overly sexual conversations. He’ll get the wrong idea, thinking that’s all you’re interested and that your upcoming date is just an opportunity to hook up.

However, if all you want is a casual fling, feel free to go for it. Communicating this with sensual texts in advance will ensure he’s on the same page as you.

Related Article: 15+ Things to Text a Guy After a First Date

What to Text a Guy Before the First Date

Basic pre-date confirmation.

"One easy way to keep your cool and calm your nerves a bit is to send him a quick text confirming some details of the date."

One easy way to keep your cool and calm your nerves a bit is to send him a quick text confirming some details of the date.

It indicates that you’re paying attention while also making you look anything but creepy. And if something has come up, but he hasn’t mentioned it yet, it could potentially save you from wasting your time.


  • “Are we still on for tomorrow night?”

Hammer out the details.

In a few ways, this is like confirming the details. The difference here is that you’re giving him the option to make any changes or show what he’s most comfortable with.

This is the courteous method. You’ll look polite and attentive, which are pretty desirable qualities to have.


  • “So it’s at the bar on the corner?”
  • “What time/day works best for you?”

Relieve the tension with a little humor.

Humor can make even the most nervous people smile. It’s a common strategy for releasing some tension, and you can use it before a date to blow off some steam, too.

Best of all, a woman with a great sense of humor is at the top of many guys’ wish lists. He’ll see that you can be easygoing and that you care enough to try and make him smile.


  • Send him a meme or video you think would make him laugh.
  • Make a charmingly cheesy joke.

Go along with his lead.

Perhaps the most effortless thing you can do is follow along with the tone he sets. If he’s the one texting you before the date, you can simply go along with it.

The biggest advantage to this is you won’t have to play any guessing games or carefully gauge his mood. You’ll be able to do a little sleuthing and figure it out based on what he’s sending you.

Read Next: Full Guide on What to Text a Guy

Don’t be afraid to set your own boundaries here, either, especially if he’s texting you too much.


  • Respond in kind to what he says by asking him questions that keep the conversation flowing.

Right before the date, let him know you’re still planning on being there.

This strategy is a little bit like confirming details or planning. However, the key is to send this text the day of the date – ideally within hours before.

It’s casual and completely reasonable. On top of that, it shows you’re reliable and that he won’t need to worry about you not showing up.

As an extra bonus, you’ll probably get a response from him indicating that he’s also on his way or getting ready. This can calm you down if there was any fear that you’d be the one stood up.


  • “I’m on my way.”
  • “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
  • “I’ll meet you by the front door at around 6:45.”

You Might Also Like: 20 Things to Text a Guy at Night

Pump up his excitement with a flirty text.

"Send him flirty texts that show him how excited you are to see him...and how excited he should be to see you."

See Also: What to Text a Guy after a First Kiss (Your Total Guide to Post-Kiss Talk)

You’ve seen it done everywhere else: movies, books, shows – anything. There’s always something hyping it up before its release to get people excited.

There’s nothing wrong with applying a similar concept in your love life. With a little teasing, you can hype your man up so puts on his game face for the date.

Send him flirty texts that show him how excited you are to see him…and how excited he should be to see you.

Make sure you balance it out, though. The date is already planned, so you don’t need to go all out with these texts and cause him to back out.

Another word of caution: don’t get overly romantic, either. It could potentially look creepy if you’re doing something drastic like sending him poetry before you’ve even gone out.


  • “I’m really looking forward to seeing you!”

Need some more examples on what kinds of frisky texts you could send him to get his heart pounding? This Text Chemistry Course by Amy North will arm you will sensual strategies you’ll need get him fantasizing about only you.

Read Also: 30+ Things to Text a Guy about Topics (That Will Keep Him Interested)

Tell him well in advance if you need to reschedule.

Sometimes, things come up. Life isn’t always convenient for us, is it?

If you’ve got a date planned and something happens, you need to let him know ASAP. We’re not going to lie: it won’t look good, but letting him know as soon as you can will show him you care.

Be sympathetic. You can even take this opportunity to impress him by taking the initiative to help plan another day and time for the date.

If he’s a worthy guy, he’ll be understanding when it’s clear you’re not just bailing on him. And if he isn’t being understanding, it’s probably a good thing you couldn’t go to the date, anyway.


  • “I just had an emergency come up that day. I’m so sorry! Mind if we reschedule?”
  • “I’m going to need to take a raincheck on that date – please don’t think I’m bailing on you! Would sometime next week work for you?”

Recommended Article: 30 Things to Text a Guy After Hooking Up (The Complete Guide)

Looking for other ways to snare his heart – before and after the date?

Related Article: Here’s What to Text a Guy Back When He Says Hey

At times, you need a little extra inspiration. Love is tough, and it’s easy for the sparks to die down, especially in the very early stages of a relationship.

Fortunately, there are things like the Text Chemistry Course to help you out. When you find your inspiration running a little dry, we strongly recommend checking the course out for some additional guidance.

Done with the date and need some help on texting him post-date? Check out our list of things to say to him after the first date. 

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!