Texting Before the First Date – What to Text a Guy

Are you wondering what to text a guy before the first date? Should you get to know him at all?

Here we cover everything you need to know, including the rules to follow, plus some example texts you can copy, paste, and send.

7 Rules for Texting Before First Date

If you’re wondering what to text before a date, you have found the right place. Here are some steadfast rules to follow. Keep it silly, keep it fun, and keep moving toward plans.

1. Keep It to a Minimum

Text message conversations are best for making dates and ironing out the details. Do not get to know him through text, wait until you meet in person. Text as little as possible in the beginning. When you get into a relationship with a guy it is ok to text all the time.

One of the main reasons guys ghost is because they get scared off by too much texting. Texting too much kills all the mystery and tension.

2. Be Playful & Positive

Keep it light and fun. Avoid anything serious. This is no time to get into a deep conversation or debate. Use emojis and short texts.

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3. Avoid Being Emotional

Do not give any ultimatums about texts you did or did not receive. Don’t text anything out of anger. Just be cool and unreactive.

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4. Don’t Reply Immediately

You are a high value person who is busy with an exciting life. Whether or not this is true, act this way. Wait a little while before responding to any texts you receive. You don’t want it to seem like you have nothing else going on. Leave room for some imagination.

5. Don’t Double Text

Texting is like a tennis match. Hit the ball over the net and wait for it to come back before hitting it back over again. When you double text you show neediness. Avoid this, especially before the first date.

6. Don’t Be a Boring Texter

Texting is meant to be fun, it is a source of amusement. Make sure you mix things up and spice up your texts every so often. Here are a few examples:

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7. Be Desirable

  • Have a lot to offer.
  • Be fun.
  • Be interesting and interested.
  • Be feminine.
  • Have self-respect.
  • Be polite.
  • Don’t always be available.

8. Let Him Lead

Guys like to feel manly. A good way to achieve this and make your guy feel good about himself is to let him lead the interaction. You can give him gentle nudges in the right direction, yet let him orchestrate most of the plans.

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9. Don’t Sext!

No matter what happens I strongly advise you stay away from any sort of sex messaging before the first date. It gives the wrong message. Even if you are innocently having a little fun, hold off on your urges and wait till after you meet in person.

10. Text to Confirm Date Details

It is always a good idea to confirm the date. There is a much more subtle way than asking the person “are we still on.” I think that comes off as needy. Here are a couple examples that seem to work well:

  • “Does 8pm still work tonight?”
  • “I’m running a little late, I hope it’s ok if we meet at 8:15pm”

Flirty Texting Before First Date

Before the first date, it is best to keep your flirty texting to a minimum. It is important to leave some mystery, you don’t want to overdue it.  If you decide to flirt, don’t mention anything sexual, it sets the wrong tone.  Flirt about something casual and unimportant. Perhaps you can joke about one of your pics. 

  • “Fyi, I received an award for most fun dater of the year ;)”
  • “True or false you are counting down the minutes till you see me ;)”
  • “Is it too formal if I wear my tuxedo 🤣”

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Before First Date Text Message Examples

  • I’m looking forward to getting together.
  • I have a good feeling about our date 🙂
  • “Excuse me mister, why haven’t you asked me what I’m wearing?”
  • I’m excited to meet you, see you soon.
  • “True or false you can’t stop thinking about me? 😉”

Funny Texts to Send Before First Date

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No Texting Before First Date

Before a first date is the worst time to text. It brings your value down immediately. The more you text, the higher your chances are of this first date never happening. People want a first date to feel mysterious and unknown. Too much texting kills all that.

Frequently Asked Questions

How Long Should You Text Before a First Date?

You should text a few times, for no more than a week or two, before the first date. Your goal is to text as little as possible. Most of your texts should be about logistics for the date. The whole point of texting is to get you on the date.

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What is Too Much Texting Before First Date?

Too much texting before the first date is when you are texting every day and having full text conversations. Your first date is supposed to be exciting and mysterious. Too much texting immediately deflates all that tension. Keep your texting to a minimum.


It is crucial that you keep your texting before the first date to an absolute minimum. Excessive texting can lead to a lack of mystery and potential miscommunications. Save your conversations for the actual date to ensure a more genuine and exciting experience.

Limiting your texting before the first date allows for anticipation to build. This helps create a sense of excitement and curiosity, which can lead to a more successful experience. Do not try to fall in love over text!

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.