DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
The first step is always the hardest one to take.
It’s the same for dating most of the time. Getting a guy’s number is a great feeling, but you may be left wondering: now what?
Of course, you’re going to text him, but what do you say?
We’ll dive into this topic for you. In this guide, we’ll give you some options for what to text a guy after exchanging numbers.
Let’s Start with Some Basic Questions
How soon should you text him after getting his number?
One of the first things you might be asking is how long you’ll need to wait after getting his number to text him.
It would be a mistake to text him too soon. You’ll come off as too eager to get a hold of him again.
But at the same time, you don’t want to wait for a long period, because you’ll appear uninterested. He may even forget he gave you his number if there’s too long a time between when he gave you his number and when you finally texted him.
The trick here is finding the first text sweet spot.
Our suggestion is to not text him instantly after you’ve gotten his number, but text him within an hour or two. You’ll still be fresh on his mind then.
You don’t necessarily need to strike up a conversation at that point – just let him know it’s you so he can save your information to his phone if he hasn’t already.
What should you avoid doing in the beginning?
With your first text message to him, you’re probably also wondering what you shouldn’t do. This is a pretty valid question to ask, because the wrong things could send him running for the hills.
Avoid making your very first text message too sweet. You might want to gush to him about how handsome he is, or how excited you are to be texting him, but we recommend keeping that first text a little cooler than that.
You won’t appear so easily won that way, and he’ll get to have a little fun chasing you.
Don’t send him a string of texts in a row in the beginning. You only get one chance to make a first impression in text.
Texting him several times in a row is going to show him that you’re clingy, or that you demand an immediate answer. Needless to say, neither of those things makes your first impression a good one.
Related Article: What to Text a Guy Who is Distant (To Pull Him Back In)
What to Text a Guy After Exchanging Numbers
Give him a basic introductory text.
Sending him a no-frills, “Hey, it’s me, *your name*” kind of text isn’t incredibly original. But sometimes you don’t really need more than the basics.
Going with a text like this is pretty safe and risk-free. You don’t make a joke that could potentially miss the mark, you don’t send him an overly flirtatious message that seems like too much, and you don’t make him uncomfortable.
An obvious drawback to this approach, though, is that it’s clearly a little on the uninteresting side. If you’re looking for a way to make a grand entrance, this isn’t it.
Example: “Hey, it’s me, *your name.* From *wherever you met*.”
Make a splash in his contacts list with a dash of humor.
Making him really, deeply belly laugh is one way to stick in his mind for years to come. Barring that, making him smile will do nicely, too.
A humorous first text from you is great for dazzling him with your humor from the get-go. If the humor lands well, you’ll have started off making him grin, which is never a bad thing.
He’ll see you as a fun, lively woman that won’t take him on any yawn-inducing dates.
So just how do you start off with a joke?
We suggest referencing something you know he’s interested in like sports or games. You could even referencing how/where you met.
Examples: “It’s *your name,* from the game. I guess I really knocked it out of the park by getting your number, huh?” or “It’s me. So we should we start coming up with a lie about how we met to tell our parents?” (You could use this one if you met on an app and you’re embarrassed to admit it, for example.)
Have him guess who you are.
Think you might have a real player on your hands?
You can test your suspicions out by making him guess who you are when you first text him. You’ll look like you’re just being playful, but you’ll be able to see if he’s actually able to guess.
If he’s been getting a lot of numbers lately or giving out his number like candy, he might struggle to remember you. On the other hand, if he remembers you right away, you’re probably golden.
Example: “I’ll give you three chances to guess who it is. ;)”
Worried about having to compete with other women? With the right texting strategies, you can ensure you’re the one who’s always on his mind.
We turn to relationship coach Amy North’s Text Chemistry course when we’re looking to strengthen our texting game. She can help you do the same thing, so that any competition you might have is nothing but a distant memory for him…if he ever thinks about anyone else at all.
Recommended Article: What to Text a Guy First Without Seeming Desperate
Continue your last conversation.
Was your last talk interrupted by you exchanging numbers, whether it was on an app or in person?
When all else fails, you can just text his number picking up the conversation right where you left off. This works extremely well if it was a conversation you were both very invested in, and you’re interested in hearing more.
Throw in something about your name so he knows who it is if he doesn’t have your phone number already, just to be on the safe side.
Example: “This is *your name.* About what you said regarding the end of Game of Thrones….why do you hate it so much?”
Begin with a random conversation starter.
While this approach could be a little risky, it’s your best option when you don’t want to bore him and you want to say something that’s a bit more than basic.
Throw him a text with any ice breaker or question. If you’re not sure what to text him, you could try looking through our guide to things to text a guy about topics.
We strongly recommend going with a question here, though. You’ll increase the chances of him answering, simply because questions are easier to respond to.
Additionally, asking him a question tells him you’re interested in him and what he thinks.
Examples: “If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?”
See Also: 35+ Examples of What to Text a Guy First
Ask him out for a date!
You’ve already exchanged numbers, so there’s clearly some interest between you. Why not take this opportunity to see him so you can confirm what kind of chemistry you had?
This is especially important if you met him in person somewhere and you need time with him one-on-one. If you met in an app, you may not feel as comfortable asking him out on a date right away yet, and that’s okay, too.
However, if you are feeling comfortable with it, you’ll surprise him with a refreshing go-getter attitude by asking him on a date.
Example: “Hi, it’s *your name.* I had such a great time talking to you the other night. How about we go out for a coffee and pick up where we left off?”
Further Reading: How to Text a Guy Good Morning (And Get Him Thinking About You)
If You Like Him, Make Sure You Start Off on the Right Foot
Related Article: What to Text a Guy Who Keeps Blowing You Off
Everyone texts now. Since so much of our communication is carried out by text message, you’ll need to make sure you’re a strong texter, otherwise you’ll quickly get left in the dust.
You never really realize how high the stakes are or how vital your texting ability is until you have something important on the line – like a budding relationship. In this kind of situation, it’s even more crucial that you know how to communicate well by text.
Read Also: How to Text a Guy (The Ultimate Guide)
If you’re not very confident in your texting ability, you can improve it. There are people and places you can turn to in order to help you learn how to sweep him off his feet by text.
Our personal favorite is the Text Chemistry program, which was written by relationship coach Amy North. This specific course has helped thousands of women seal the deal after strengthening their texting game.