DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
Do you have a guy friend who’s always offering to help you learn something? No matter what you bring up, he seems to know how to do it and is ready to help you learn more. What kind of messages is this guy sending? Is he into you or just a weirdo who likes showing off his skills?
This confusion can make dating decisions very tough for many people. Thankfully, it is possible to understand your guy’s message better and use it to make an intelligent dating decision. Here’s what you need to know about this topic and what to expect from your helper guy.
So What Does It Mean if a Guy Offers to Teach You Something?
Does your crush teaching you how to play guitar, change your oil, or change your car’s lights automatically mean he is into you? It is a perfect sign, yes. Men often have the instinct to help those people that they care about deeply. It is part of the masculine impulse and a massive sign that he’s not only a True Alpha Male (a rarity) but into you as a person.
After all, the saying goes, “Buy a girl a fish, and she eats for a day. Teach her to fish, and she eats for a lifetime.” However, teaching you a new skill doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to be with you. Confused? That’s men for you! Typically, we find that guys teach girls new things for one of three different reasons. Let’s break these down to give you a better understanding of your situation.
Reason One: He is a True Alpha Male
Have you ever met a True Alpha Male? They are pretty rare in the wild and are often poorly understood. Many men think that being an Alpha Male means acting like a jerk or doing whatever they want. It is true that an Alpha Male tends to be in control of situations. However, a True Alpha Male is someone who uses his power for the good of others. Just think of alpha males in wolf packs. Yes, they mate with all the females but also make sure everyone eats.
In some situations, your crush may just be a True Alpha male trying to keep everyone happy. He may teach you new things to help make you more independent and avoid serious problems. In other words, he’s a truly nice guy. That alone is rare enough! But kindness should not be confused with a romantic interest. Pay attention to how he treats you during lessons, such as if he flirts while he teaches.
Reason Two: Booty Call Syndrome
We’ve all had a guy or two on our phone that loves the booty call. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, as long as everyone is on the same page. Is your crush trying to add you to his booty call list? There are a few ways to know for sure. These include:
- Lack of focus during each teaching session
- Quickly rushing through each session and mostly focusing on you
- Talking frankly about sex with you
- Using teaching poses that make your bodies touch
- Heavy flirting that moves to physical actions
- Directly asking you to have sex (duh)
Here’s what separates a booty call from a potential relationship: continued interest in teaching you. If you find that your crush stops teaching you and simply wants to hook up, you’re a new booty call. There’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what you want. But if you’re looking for a relationship, you should pass.
Reason Three: Relationship Material
Is your guy still trying to teach you new things even after the hookup? Is he focusing on your progress there and even asking to teach you before you jump into bed? Congratulations! You may have found a dependable and kind guy who wants a relationship. Pay attention to whether he:
- Seems to honestly care about your learning progress
- Lets you try out new skills based on his lessons
- Continues to praise you, even as you struggle
- Spends extra trim providing help, even when tired
- Stays dependable and reliable
Here’s the kicker: guys often stay dependable long enough to get in a relationship and then turn into Mr. Inconsistency. That may prove he’s still mostly into you for the sex. This confusing situation is probably less complex than you are making it though. Let’s take a look at a few hints that show he’s more into you.
How Do You Know If a Guy is Giving You Hints?
As you can see, not every guy teaching you something is necessarily into you. So while it is a good sign, it is also essential to check out other potential hints he may be sending your way. Just a few suggestions that he could be sending to you include how:
- He Honestly Seems to Care — You’ve probably experienced this plenty of times in your life: the “nice guy” who becomes a monster when you don’t give them what he wants. Does your guy stay consistently kind and truly seems to care about you? You may have a keeper.
- He Sends You Links to Video Lessons — Is your guy constantly sending you video links based on your learning needs? Is he trying to expand your abilities beyond your initial improvement? There’s a good chance he’s using this learning opportunity to get closer to you.
- He Honestly Listens to and Reacts to You — Women are used to female friends who listen to what they say and male friends who wait for their turn to talk. Does your guy actually listen to and respond to what you say? He’s obviously engaged and interested in you as a person and perhaps wants to take things to the next level with you.
- He Gets Physical With You — Look for these behaviors to gauge his interest: a light tap on the shoulder to redirect you during a lesson; touching your hands to help direct your lessons; a hug that lingers a little longer than expected at the end of every learning session; and leaning towards you as you talk or work on your learning sessions together.
Now, these hints show that a guy is into you. But is he into you beyond a hookup? In other words, is his virtue signaling real, or is he just trying to get into your pants? Let’s look at a few signs that he wants a relationship to make sure you make the right choice here.
How Can I Tell If He Wants a Relationship With Me?
So, you and your guy have taken things to a physical level or have been hanging out regularly over the last few weeks. Things have been great, but is he interested in a relationship or just having fun? Let’s take a look at a few things he might be doing that could communicate dating potential, including if:
- He Talks About Using Your New Skills Together — Is your man talking about using your new skills together as a couple? For example, did he teach you how to build furniture and is now talking about how nice your couch will look in your house? Such conversation is a clear sign of a relationship interest.
- He Continues to Teach You New Things — After your initial learning experience, is your guy continuing to teach you a multitude of new abilities? For instance, is he now teaching you how to renovate old furniture and use your techniques to improve them? He’s likely looking to the future and thinking of a commitment.
- He Starts Making Plans With You in Mind — When most guys like someone, they want to spend as much time around them as possible. Is he making plans to take you on vacation? Introduce you to his parents? These steps don’t come lightly for men and usually indicate romantic interest.
If your guy meets all of these signs and remains a teacher even after you’re together, then there’s a good chance that he wants a long-term relationship. Don’t be afraid to be open and honest with him about his interest. Directly ask him if he wants a relationship or if you’re just a casual dating situation. Some guys may give you conflicting answers, but many others will be honest. Look for these behaviors to identify flaky guys:
- Changes the subject when you talk about commitment
- Tries to make things physical when you bring up long-term plans
- Keeps his family or private life away from you
- Suddenly seems distracted by his phone when you hang out
- Drops hints that things aren’t “working out” like he’d hoped
Keep These Tips in Mind
If you’re interested in a guy who shows you these types of signs, it is probably a good idea to jump on the opportunity. After all, any guy willing to teach you new skills will likely provide you with a more prosperous life and many unique situations for personal growth and improvement. First, however, it is usually a good idea to gauge their personality and seriousness before diving in to avoid heartache.