Like it or not, texting is a huge deal in the dating scene now.
In between dates, you’re going to be conversing pretty much entirely through text messages. The more interested you are in a guy, the more time you’ll need to spend thinking about your text strategy.
Feeling a little stuck? Don’t worry.
We’re here to help you come up with things to text a guy to make him like you. Read on, and we’ll show you some of the best options out there.
Stay Away From These Common Texting Fails
A big part of dating in the beginning is avoiding doing things that would drive your potential man away.
When we’re nervous, it’s super easy to fall into bad habits or stumble. And it should go without saying that dating or getting to know someone you like is something that makes most people really nervous.
You might be tempted to do the following things, but believe us when we say you need to do whatever you can to stop yourself from doing them.
Here’s what to avoid:
Don’t text him more than two times in a row.
It’s completely natural to want to talk to someone you’re attracted to as much as possible. This can lead to texting multiple times in a row.
This is perfectly fine with friends or family, but with someone you don’t know well, it’s overkill. We think you could get away with maybe sending him two texts in a row, especially if the second text is adding to your first one, but stop after that.
Don’t feel like you need to virtually poke him for attention with multiple texts. You’ll annoy him or even completely scare him off.
Related Article: What to Text a Guy You Can't Stop Thinking About
Stop yourself from texting him back right away.
When your phone goes off and you see his name, the first thing you’ll want to do is pick it up and type out a response to him as soon as you can.
Before you text him back, take a little break. As much as it might go against your instincts, don’t answer him instantly.
Otherwise, you’ll give him the signal that you’re always available for him, or that you’re willing to stop in the middle of whatever you’re doing and talk to him.
When we can get something we want at any time, it gets a little boring. Cultivate an air of mystery around yourself by taking some time in between answers, even if you’re not actually doing anything else.
Keep yourself from getting too gooey.
You might feel like you need pour your feelings out to him by text, especially when you’re starting to fall for him.
Again, don’t do it. Not only is this a conversation that might be best to have in person, but you risk misreading the room here and sending him something that’s too much too soon.
You can’t always tell what someone is feeling in text unless they’re extremely clear. No one likes being pushed into a relationship too soon, so you’ll want to be extra careful with emotional texts until you’ve built more of a bond.
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Things to Text a Guy to Make Him Like You
Check on how he’s doing.
Others may say these texts are boring, but we think they’re perfectly fine for getting a conversation started, especially when you’re not sure what else to say.
However, once you are talking easily and naturally, try to stay away from basic messages like these. They’re more for helping you get him talking in the first place.
Once he’s answered, you should have more to ask him or respond to based on whatever he said.
Examples: “Hey, how’s your day going? Or “What are you up to today?”
Compliment him on something.
If you’ve hung out with him already, complimenting something about him is great for getting him to open up to you.
Consider how you feel when someone compliments something about you. He feels the same way!
Whether it’s his in-depth knowledge on something, the way he dresses, how good he is at something he showed you…compliment him!
When you want to make it more romantic, compliment one of his features, such as his eyes or his smile. You’ll probably get a blush out of telling him his lips are soft, for example.
Examples: “I can’t believe how much you know about cooking! Could you teach me sometime?” or “You have the most handsome smile.”
Ask him about one of his interests.
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Nothing gets a guy opening up more than talking about something he’s passionate about. We know a guy who will talk for hours if you so much as mention Star Wars around him.
When your guy is seeming a bit uncommunicative, try asking him something about one of his hobbies or interests. Make it a sincere question, something you’ve always wondered, and he’ll respond particularly well.
Read Also: How to Text a Guy (The Ultimate Guide)
Another benefit to doing this is that he’ll see that you’ve been paying attention to what he cares about. The fact that you remember what he’s told you before will definitely get you brownie points with him.
Examples: “If you were making a movie about *his favorite series,* what would you put in it and why?” or “Why do you like cooking so much?”
Send him well wishes…with a twist.
Typing out a quick message telling him to have a good day is an easy method of letting him know he’s on your mind. But we strongly recommend staying away from the really boring “Have a great day!!” type of message.
What should you do instead? Put a personal spin on it.
Does he have a favorite movie, book, or show that you know about? If you know anything about it, mix a reference to it in your text.
There’s nothing wrong with showing off your nerdy side – there are many guys out there who are ridiculously in to geeky girls.
Example: “I hope the force is strong in you today!”
Flirt with him a bit.
Flirtatious texts are fun and interesting. They’re wonderful for getting him to smile and warm up to you without being too sexual – if that’s not something you’re ready to do yet.
Better yet, you won’t seem too lonely or clingy by texting him something like this occasionally. Send flirty messages too much, though, and suddenly you won’t seem like you have any sort of interest or personality that isn’t centered around him…and that can come off as creepy.
Our suggestion is to send messages like this occasionally – maybe once a day or so. That way, you won’t go overboard, but you’ll still be showing him you’re interested.
Examples: “I’m so excited to hang out with you again!” or “I can’t wait to kiss you again.”
Need a little more help figuring out how to flirt with him in text? We recommend the Text Chemistry Course by relationship coach Amy North.
She created the program to help any woman snag her dream guy with texts she designed to get in a man’s head.
See Also: 40+ Dirty Things to Dare a Guy Over Text
Tease the heck out of him.
This is a step up from flirting. Rather than sending him something cutesy or mushy, you’ll be teasing him about sex.
It’s dainty and indirect, though. You’ll just sort of hint at it, then leave the rest to his imagination.
Be warned: he’ll be desperate to make plans with you again when you send him something tantalizing his imagination like this.
Examples: “I had interesting dreams about you last night…” or “I keep thinking about what we’re going to do when we see each other again.”
Snap a picture for him.
Looking extra good today? Show him.
Snap a quick selfie and send it to him for an easy, low-effort reminder that, hey, you exist, and you look great. This isn’t something you should do more than once a day at the most, otherwise you risk looking self-absorbed.
But a picture here and there is a powerful reminder of the chemistry you two have. It’s a flexible method, too, because you can create all kinds of moods with just one picture.
Adding a little cleavage or showing off your butt, for instance, will make him eager to touch you. On the other hand, sending him a picture of you smiling or doing something is an indication that you’re a happy, independent person with a life of her own.
There’s also the added benefit that it might just make his heart melt, as well.
Think of some weird questions to ask him.
One problem with the dating scene these days is that you’ll find too many people who say the same things over and over again. Dating profiles are filled with the same references, people use the same pickup lines, people say the same conversation openers…
Basically, it gets a little old. You can really set yourself far above any potential competition by throwing him curve balls in text every so often.
You can do this by asking him some deep, interesting, or unusual questions that encourage unique conversations he’s likely never had before. By doing this, you’ll both show him you’re not like everyone else, and he’ll remember you much more vividly.
Examples: “If you had to pick a theme song for me, what would you pick and why?” or “If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you want to be?”
Read Also: 30+ Things to Text a Guy About Topics
Tantalize him with some sexy sentiments.
Want to take it beyond flirting and teasing? You can write messages to him that will leave him craving your body.
Trust us when we say nothing else will get him interested faster than this. It’s no secret, after all, that guys tend to be very sexual people.
We like to warn women to maybe cut back on these types of messages at the beginning of a relationship, though. If all you’re talking about is sexual things because you think it’ll keep him interested, you’ll be giving him the wrong impression.
Examples: A naughty picture of you – it doesn’t have to be a nude. It could just be a picture of you in lingerie or showing a hint of cleavage.
Ask him to explain something to you.
Men love feeling like the experts on something. It gives them the opportunity to puff out their chest and show off their intellectual side, while you sit back and relax.
If there’s something you don’t understand about one of his hobbies, ask him to clarify it. Putting him in a position where he can teach you will almost always flatter him.
Examples: “I don’t really get why *character* did *some action* in *a book/movie he likes.* Can you explain it a bit for me?” or “Isn’t it hard to use a keyboard and mouse when you’re playing games on your PC? Why would you prefer it?”
Make plans with him.
If you really like him, and you have more than a slight suspicion the feeling is mutual, go ahead and ask him to hang out with you soon.
Traditionally, there’s been a huge pressure on the guy to always make the plans and initiate dates first. But it’s 2020, ladies - there’s no reason we can’t take the initiative here.
If he’s a little shy or even if he’s not, he’ll be seriously impressed by your ability to grab life by the horns and go for what you want.
We do suggest keeping the text where you ask him on a date as light and playful as possible, though. In other words, try to avoid sounding like you’re just desperate to be with him again.
Examples: “I’ll provide the Netflix and the couch if you’ll bring the snacks. Sound like a deal?” or “I’m dying to check out that bar that just opened. Want to come with me?”
Make sure to send him an attention-grabbing good night text.
Hey, most people are really busy during the day. He may not have had time to answer you so much during the workday/school day, but just before bed could be a whole other story.
That’s why it’s the perfect time to make sure he’s thinking of you. One way to guarantee he’s dreaming about you tonight it to send him a one-of-a-kind good night message.
You can make it sexy, cute, a little sappy, or funny – it’s entirely up to you. The only rule here is to make it yours, so it represents your personality and sets you apart.
In other words, don’t just go with a boring “good night,” or you’ll leave him snoring.
Examples: “Good night! I hope I’ll be in your dreams tonight, because I know you’ll be in mine…” or “I don’t know if we’d be doing a whole lot of sleeping if we were together right now. Good night… ;)”
Read Also: 20 Things to Text a Guy at Night
Want Some Extra Help Grabbing Your Crush’s Attention?
Related Article: 10 Things to Text a Guy to Make Him Blush (That Work Every Time)
If, after trying all our suggestions, your guy still isn’t seeming so interested…there are options available to you.
Experts all over the world have tapped into psychology in order to come up with ways to communicate that leave any man salivating over you. Our personal favorite resource for this info is the Text Chemistry course, created by romance expert Amy North.
She’s helped thousands of women snag a man through text. And we know she can help you do the same.