Imagine this: you’ve met the cutest guy. You’ve hung out a couple times, and each time you’re together, the conversation just naturally flows.
You could talk to him for hours in person. But whenever you’re apart and you want to text him, you end up staring at your phone, wondering what to say.
We’ve all been there – keeping up a fulfilling conversation can be much harder in writing. That’s why we’ve decided to make it easy for you and make a big list of topics for you to fall back on when you’re not sure what to text him about.
Let’s start by laying down some quick ground rules first.
Don’t Text Him Too Much
Have you ever talked to a guy who went from 0 to 100 way too fast? Chances are, you probably went running – and rightfully so.
Keep this in mind as you text him. Don’t flood him with hundreds of texts about every minute detail from your day.
If you do that, all that will end up happening is you send him on the run from you.
Instead, take some time to focus on yourself every day. Remember to live your own life outside of him, and give him the space here and there.
The benefit to putting a little distance between you and him occasionally is that it has the potential to drive him crazy with longing. He’ll become focused on how to win your heart.
Related Article: 15+ Things to Text a Guy After a First Date
Keep Your Feelings in Check
Falling in love is wonderful. It’s one of the most dazzling and beautiful things in the world.
It’s okay to have these feelings for the guy, even early on in the relationship. You don’t always have control over these things, after all, and it’s impossible to set a time frame on emotions.
But you don’t need to tell him every little thing you’re feeling or thinking. Try to take a breath and step back a bit, otherwise he’ll think you’re a clinger.
By all means, flirt with him and tease him. But don’t confess your eternal love for him a few days in – even if you’re feeling completely infatuated.
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Topics to Text a Guy About
There’s nothing quite like a new series to bring people together. You’ve seen shows recently sweep the world.
Know about a series he’s a huge fan of? If you’ve haven’t seen it, give it a try and let him know what you think.
You can also ask him for suggestions if you don’t know what he watches. You’ll learn more about what he’s into, and you’ll likely have dozens of episodes to discuss.
Example: “I just finished watching *show.* Do you have any recommendations on what to watch next?”
What music someone listens to says a lot about a person. Since pretty much everyone has favorite artists, figure out what his are.
Then return him the favor and show him some of your favorites. You just might discover an artist that you both enjoy – and concerts are a great date idea…
Example: “Got any music suggestions? I need something new to listen to.” Or “I just heard this song, and I think you’d really like it.”
There are millions of sports fans in the world. If your guy is one of them, it’s a great thing to bond over.
Learn what his top teams are. Wow him with your knowledge about the game, and he’ll wonder how he got lucky enough to find a catch like you.
This is like a returning investment, too. Because games happen time and time again, you’ll always have something new to text him about.
Example: “Did you see the score for the *team name* game last night?”
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Gone are the days when video games were reserved only for nerds. There’s a good chance the man you’ve got your eye one has a few games he holds near and dear.
Ask what the best games he’s ever played are to find out which ones matter to him the most. You’ll learn a lot this way and open up the flood gates of his passion as he talks about something he loves.
This will tell you if he likes fantasy, mystery, horror, sports, music – pretty much anything. And if it happens to be a multiplayer game, it’s the perfect opportunity to offer to be his second player.
Example: “If you had to pick a video game as your number one, which one would it be?” or “Have you heard about *game name* coming out later this year? Do you think you’ll get it?”
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We spend a lot of time at our jobs. Since we live out a huge portion of our lives at work, it’s ripe for all kinds of conversational topics.
Talking about work has the potential to get a little boring, though, so we don’t recommend texting him about it too much. Unless he absolutely loves his job, he probably wants to escape it for awhile once he punches out for the day.
Example: “How did your work go today?” or “What’s your favorite part about your job?”
We’ve all got things we do in our spare time, and so does your crush. Whether it’s a sport, something outdoorsy, cooking…the possibilities are endless.
That’s what makes it perfect to ask him about. Chances are, it’s something you can do together, and he’d probably love the chance to share it with you.
Example: “What do you do in your spare time?”
Food & Drink
Everyone likes to eat. Knowing what his go-to foods and drinks are gives you some insight on where you could go on future dates.
Want to take it up a notch? Offer to make his favorites for him at your place.
If you’re looking to hook up with him after, you can always use this opportunity to remind him that there’s dessert…by wearing your lingerie during the dinner.
Although there’s a strong chance he won’t be able to focus on the food then.
Example: “Want to come to my place for some homemade pasta? It’s my treat.”
Unless you live in a tiny town, there’s usually always some kind of event going on your community, whether it’s local news or entertainment.
These subjects are great to spark a conversation. Better yet, if it’s an event you’re both interested in going to, talking about it could help you score the next date with him.
Example: “So I heard they’re having open mic night at the bar. Wanna check it out?”
Did a new restaurant or bar open up in your city? Then it’s a fantastic opportunity to strike up a conversation with your man.
It may even be worth going to investigate the new place with your guy.
Example: “This new sushi restaurant just opened up downtown. I think I’d like to try it out. Do you want to go with me?”
The latest Hollywood blockbuster can easily become the next centerpiece of your text-talk. There’s bound to be some kind of twist or character that makes for hours of conversation.
Even better, find out what some of his all-time favorite movies are. This will give you a clearer picture of his interests, and you can use that to tell if any movies in theaters are up his alley.
See something he’d like in theaters? Mention it to him, and see if maybe he’d like to take you with.
Example: “What are you top three favorite movies?” or “Hey, I see *movie name* just came out and I think it looks like you’d love it. How about we go see it?”
Talking about books is great for showing off your intellectual side, although this will work much better if he’s a reader, too.
You can share an experience with a book much like you can a new show. Figure out what’s on his reading list, and read it, too.
Example: “What do you think *name of the book character* should have done?” or “Would you have ended this book differently if you were writing it?”
Events aren’t just limited to what’s going on in your city – there’s a whole world of things to talk about.
When you see something interesting in the news or online, share it with him, especially if it’s something that it seems like he’d want to know. Ask him what he thinks about it.
Just be a little careful with this subject. Unless you’ve known him for a long time, you might want to avoid discussing controversial topics such as politics.
You can stick to safer things to begin with, like the newest technology or interesting news articles.
Example: “I saw this crazy article online about virtual reality. What do you think of this?” –Followed up by a link to the article.
It seems silly, but communicating with memes is something tons of people do. You might even have a group chat with your friends that you share a lot of memes in.
It’s entirely possible your guy has his own stock of memes saved to his phone. Ask him to send you what he thinks is the best one, or send him one of your own that you think he’d like.
Example: “Saw this today and it made me think of you!” –Followed by the meme.
Are you both animal lovers? Then share some cute stories about your pets, whether it’s a childhood pet or one you have now.
Most pet owners love talking about their pets. If he has a pet, you can get him gushing a little bit by asking him for a picture of it, or showing him your own.
Bonus points here for learning about his pet and bonding with it. It’s always a good sign when your dog or cat loves someone you bring home.
Example: “Your dog sounds so adorable! Can I see a picture?” or “What’s the funniest thing your cat has ever done?”
Your Living Space
Your home is another thing you easily chat about. Assuming he hasn’t been over yet, you can tell him about the area you live in, what your room is like, or whether you have roommates.
You can also get a feel for what his space is like. Ask him if he has a nice view, for instance, and if he can show you sometime.
Does he seem kind of unhappy with his living situation? Keep the conversation positive by asking him what his dream home is like, or where else he’d want to live.
Example: “I got my place all organized, and now I almost don’t want to leave it. Want to come over and see?”
Are you taking some college courses? Not only is that good for you, but you’ve got loads of things you can mention to your man.
You can tell him about the courses you’re doing and the degree you’re pursuing. Then you can turn the tables around and ask him whether he’s in school or not.
If he’s already graduated, ask him about what it was like. You can even flatter him a bit by asking him if he has any advice for students like you.
Example: “What did you go to/are you going to college for?” or “What kind of advice would you give to college students?”
Ever missed something from your childhood? It could be a tv show, a band, a fashion trend, a game – anything.
More likely than not, he’s felt the same thing for something that’s no longer around. Take him on a little nostalgia trip and ask him what one thing he’d like to see popular again is.
Example: “If you could bring back any game/show/band from your childhood, what would it be and why?”
Your past dates
This approach works best if you’ve already been on a date or even a few.
Reminiscing with him about the highlights of each date will remind him how much fun he had with you. Throw in some compliments here to get him feeling warm and fuzzy.
Example: “I was just thinking about the time we went out for ice cream. You looked so handsome that day!”
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Planning future dates
If you’re texting him for any length of time, you probably want to see him again, right?
Then tell him! The chasing part can be really fun for guys, but sometimes, they need a little extra nudging or something more than a hint.
Let him know you’re looking forward to seeing him again. When there’s some event or place you want to go to, tell him about it and ask him to go with you.
Example: “I had so much fun with you the other night! I’d love for there to be a sequel to our date, and I was thinking we could try out this new coffee shop sometime soon.”
You might be raising your eyebrows a bit at this one. It seems corny, doesn’t it?
But obviously, feelings are a huge part of dating. It’s important to clear the air if there’s any sort of confusion.
This doesn’t mean you should confess your eternal devotion to him or anything drastic. However, it does mean that you should be honest with him if you’re not interested in pursuing the relationship further.
Or, if he’s got you hooked and you want to tell him without scaring him away, express it with a quick, flirty message. Nothing over the top, or you risk getting ghosted.
Example: “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that, while I had fun the other night, I didn’t really feel a spark.” Or “I can’t wait to see you again!”
Do you have a creative guy on your hands?
Great! That opens up a whole range of topics to discuss.
Question him about whichever type of art he likes, whether it’s painting, pottery, drawing, or photography. If he’s an artist, ask him to show you some of his work – then tell him what you think.
Again, use a little caution here. While it’s important to be honest to an artist about their works, you don’t want to come off as harsh, either, so try to see the positive and be encouraging.
On the other hand, if you’re an artist, show him some of your pieces. He might have some feedback for you, too.
Example: “That’s so cool that you draw! Could you show me some of your drawings?”
Want to shock him into paying attention to only you? Want to make him sit up straight, on the edge of his seat, hanging on your every word?
Then talking about sex is one way to do it. How you talk about it, of course, is up to you.
But if you’re going this route, we suggest making it extra interesting and juicy. Ask him about his favorite positions or what his fantasies are.
Combine it with some discreet and seductive pictures of you, and, well…he’ll be hooked.
Are you unsure what kind of things to say to tantalize him and get him obsessed with you? We turn to texting expert Amy North when we need help – she has a whole course on texting guys in way that gets them addicted to you.
Example: “Can’t stop thinking about you at work. Tell me how I could fit into some of your fantasies…”
Your social circle
The cast of characters in your lives will give you both plenty of things to discuss.
More likely than not, your friends are important to you. You want them to like any future boyfriends you have, right?
His friends are important, too. Take time to learn about them.
If you can hang out and have fun with his friends, too, he’ll have even more opportunities to spend time with you.
Examples: “What kinds of things do you like to do with your friends?” or “What’s the craziest thing you and your friends have done?”
Friends are the only people in your life – you’ve got a family, too. And the more important they are to you, the more important it is that they approve of him.
It could easily be the same for him, especially if he’s very family-oriented. Ask him to give you the dossiers on his immediate family members so you know what’s in store for you.
There’s a big however here, though. If you’re just talking a bit before going on a first date, in a casual no-strings-attached sort of arrangement, or you don’t know him well, you probably don’t want to ask about his family too much.
This is the kind of step you’d take when you’re in the early stages of a relationship, or you’ve been on a few dates already.
Example: “Tell me a bit about your family.” Or “I’m hanging out with my sister this weekend. Do you have any brothers or sisters that you hang out with?”
We all have goals in life that we’re working towards. Yours might be getting your dream house, having a family, snagging that cushy job, meeting your soulmate, mastering a skill, or anything else under the sun.
It shouldn’t surprise you that he also has goals in life. Learning about them can tip you off on how compatible you would be as a couple.
Because they’re his life goals, he’s probably passionate about them. He’ll love when you show interest in his dreams and support him along the way.
Example: Try taking a page out of an interviewer’s book. Ask him, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
Does your guy like the great outdoors?
There are so many things you can do together outside. It could be hunting, fishing, hiking, camping, kayaking – the possibilities are endless.
And because of that, there’s a lot to talk about. Tell him about some of your outdoor adventures, or ask him to regale you with some of his.
Maybe after some time, you could even plan a romantic outing for the two of you.
Example: “You’ll never guess what happened to me the last time I went camping…”
Ask him some deep questions to get his brain going. This works especially well for guys that are already philosophical in nature and talk to you about these kinds of topics.
After all, small talk is boring. Asking the tough stuff can be a fun and unique way to keep the conversation feeling fresh.
Example: “Do you think there are parallel universes?”
While he isn’t likely to be interested in talking about the latest pop star, he probably would be interested in some celebrity trivia – especially when it comes to actors in his favorite movies or games.
Or, if something really interesting happened, share that news with him. See a celebrity doing a weird fundraiser?
Maybe someone in his favorite band did a great interview. Either way, these are the types of things to share with him to indicate you’re paying attention to his interests.
Example: “I just found out something really cool about the leadsinger of *band.* Did you know he has his own private helicopter and helps rescue people lost in the wilderness in his spare time?”
Your favorite apps
These days, everyone and their mother has a smart phone. That means that pretty much everyone has a cycle of apps they go through.
He probably won’t want to hear about any utility apps, like the ones you use to help you make grocery lists or touch up pictures. We’re talking about the fun ones here.
For example, when you find a new game in the app store that you think he’d love, tell him about it. Tell him he can’t get a higher score than you and he’ll flood you with texts as he tries to compete.
Example: “I just found this addictive app. I bet you can’t beat my high score!” –Follow this up with a screenshot of your score.
Millions of guys all over the world love having the latest and greatest in tech. This is especially true if the guy you’ve got your heart set on is a gamer.
In that case, he’s probably got a flashy computer and multiple monitors. He’ll be keeping an eye on the latest in computer trends to keep his set up as cutting-edge as possible.
Get his opinion on these matters. Ask him what he thinks of the newest phones, gaming consoles, tvs – anything tech-related.
He’ll feel like a respected expert and puff out his chest a little as he shows you the ropes.
Example: “I can’t decide if I like *phone 1* or *phone 2* better. Which one do you think I should get next?”
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Most people have a dream vacation in mind. And on that dream vacation, they’re usually imagining some location far away filled with sights to see, food to eat, and drinks to drink.
When you’re just getting to know him, this can be a fantastic way to scope out more of his interests. Get a deeper feel for what he’s in to by asking where he’s traveled before or where he wants to travel in the future.
Example: “If you could go anywhere in the world for free, where would you want to go?”
This kind of ties in with technology, so if you’ve been talking about technology and you’re starting to run out of ideas, you can easily slide into a discussion about the internet.
You can ask him to send you links to his favorite sites. Get his recommendations on where to go online for entertainment or to buy new gear for anything.
Example: “Hey, I saw this site that I think you’d love looking at.” –Follow that up with a link to the site in question.
For when you’ve talked about everything you can think of and you’re wracking your brain for more, there’s always support. We personally recommend using Amy North’s Text Chemistry Course.
She’s a fantastic wingwoman to have on your side. You’ll get tons of ideas in the course that will leave your man begging you for more.