DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
Should you text a guy when he’s on vacation? That’s a difficult topic to negotiate, and a lot depends on how long you two have been seeing one another. Furthermore, it depends on what type of guy he is…
Should You Text Him When He’s on Vacation
Generally, the answer to this is “only if he encourages it”. That means you need to have a conversation about vacation-related communication boundaries. How this conversation will unfold depends on whether this is a new romance, or if you two have been an item for a while now. Additionally, a lot depends on what this vacation consists of.
For example, if he’s going to decompress for a couple of weeks on the beach, he might appreciate some playful text exchanges now and then. Alternatively, if his idea of a vacation is an intense, silent yoga retreat at a Nepalese ashram, chances are he’d prefer radio silence.
So how do you know whether he wants to stay in touch or not? That’s simple: talk about it before he leaves.
Amazingly, the easiest answer as to whether you should text your guy when he’s on vacation is to ask him. This way, you can avoid stressing about whether you’re overstepping, or bothering him, or if he wants to hear from you, etc.
Before your guy goes on vacation, ask him if he wants to stay in touch regularly, or if he would prefer to decompress without interruption. This shows two important things about you: that you’re not needy, and that you care about/respect his boundaries enough to ask for his input before acting on impulse.
He’ll appreciate the fact that you asked! Better yet, his answer will give you very clear guidelines on how to proceed. If he tells you that he’d rather just be insular while he’s away, that’s cool. Let him know that you hope he has a good time, and maintain radio silence while he’s gone. In contrast, if he says he’d love to hear from you, then you’re good to go!
If He’s Cool with Keeping in Contact, Don’t Overdo It
When your guy says he’s happy keeping in touch while he’s on vacation, that means that he’ll be happy to hear from you.
Just not all the time.
Keep your texts fun and flirty, and don’t text too often. He’s trying to decompress from work, school, and other day-to-day responsibilities. It’s unlikely that he wants to hear any drama, or anything else that’ll stress him out.
Try to keep your texts short and sweet: just enough to maintain contact, but not annoying or time demanding. Also, don’t send more than three unanswered texts. If he hasn’t answered back after the second one, leave him to himself. He’ll answer back when he’s ready to.
What to Text Him When He’s Traveling (5 Ideas)
As mentioned, you’ll want to keep his spirits up, and not demand his attention with anything stressful. Below are some ideas of the kinds of things you can send him while he’s vacationing.
“Hope you’re having a great time!”
An expression like this lets him know that you’re happy for him, and you’re not demanding his attention. You’re not asking him any questions: you’re leaving it up to him as to whether to text back or not.
“Hey, if you haven’t visited __ place yet, you might enjoy it.”
This shows him that you’re thinking about his happiness. Whether you’ve already visited the locale where he’s vacationing, or you’ve done a bit of research, you’re offering a suggestion for an experience he’ll enjoy.
“What’s the best thing you’ve eaten so far?”
If he’s visiting a place that’s known for amazing food, feel free to ask him what he’s enjoyed most thus far. This is an especially great option if he’s a foodie. He’s probably revelling in amazing flavors, and may be eager to share his experiences with you.
(Bonus option: if you know he’s really enthusiastic about a dish, see if you can find an authentic recipe for it! Then the two of you can prepare it together when he gets back.)
“Just thinking about you!
Send him a sweet message to let him know that you’re on his mind. Add a kissy face or heart emoji if you’re feeling affectionate or flirtatious, and leave it at that. If he responds with a question, feel free to answer it… but don’t get caught up in an endless string of emoji exchanges. Give him space.
Do you miss him? Then feel free to let him know that. Just texting these two words keeps you from sounding overly gushy, while still letting him know that he’s important to you. If he texts back saying that he misses you too, simply reply that you’re looking forward to hearing about his adventures when he gets back.
He Went on Vacation and Hasn’t Texted – Should You Worry?
That all depends on where you are in your relationship, and what his response was when you asked him before he left.
Let’s say you’ve only started dating, and you know that he’ll be decompressing on the beach. If he hasn’t texted you, chances are he’s turned his phone off. He’s doing yoga and swimming with dolphins and may just want the rest of the world to leave him alone for a while. And that’s absolutely okay (and understandable!).
Also, try not to assume the worst of him. Just because he’s gone quiet doesn’t mean he’s shagging some other girl he met on the beach. He’s doing his own thing, and will get in touch when the time is right. Focus on yourself instead! Do things you enjoy, rather than stressing about what he may or may not be doing.
Now, if you two have been dating exclusively for over a year, and he hasn’t texted you while he’s away, then there may be cause for a bit of worry. Has he said that he wanted you to reach out while he was gone? If that was the case, send him a text to check in on him. In all likelihood he’s just been in his own head, or he dropped his phone in the ocean or something.
If after that you still haven’t heard from him, you can always call the hotel where he’s staying, just to check to see if he’s okay.
Ultimately, the answer regarding should you text a guy when he’s on vacation or not depends on whether he asked you to do so, or not.
Most of us want to relax and unwind when we’re on vacation. For most guys, that also includes being really insular. They don’t place as much emphasis on texting as women do, and may want to immerse in their own stuff completely. That doesn’t mean your guy isn’t thinking about you when he’s away! It just means that he’s shut his brain down for a few days to decompress.
Let him keep the ball in his court with regard to text exchanges while he’s away. Refrain from being demanding—even if you’re feeling insecure and want reassurance. He needs this time to himself, whether it’s undisturbed time reading under a tree, or having long conversations with friends he hasn’t seen in a while.
If he’s cool with you texting, keep things very happy and lighthearted. Show him that you’re respectful of his alone time, and supportive of him having a great time.
He’ll appreciate that more than you can imagine.