Should I Text a Guy Who Ghosted Me? (EXPLAINED)

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Wondering if you should text a guy that ghosted you? You’re in the right place. 

In this article, we’ll give you multiple options to consider when deciding whether or not to text him back.

Let’s begin…

Should I Text a Guy Who Ghosted Me?

If you are reading this, then it is safe to assume that the guy who ghosted you has not texted his apologies or well wishes. This can be very upsetting and leaves many women wondering if or when they should text him back. You have a couple of options when it comes to engaging a guy during radio silence:

Don’t Text Him Back

You could wait for him to reach out again, but chances are he won’t, and your phone will stay silent and you’ll continue to wait for a text.

If he does not reach out, you could choose to stop waiting around and move on. This guy is showing you who he is non-verbally. No matter what his intentions are, is this the kind of behavior you want to expect from a guy long-term?

sweet lady looking at her phone

This option leaves you feeling in control of the situation and like you’ve made a decision based on your own needs instead of his.

Ask Him What’s Going On

If you choose to text him, it is important that the message is not accusatory or snarky. It should be a casual question about what happened and why he has been so quiet since you two last spoke.

This puts all of the power in his hands – if he decides not to text you back, then at least you know that he is aware of what went down. You can choose to ignore him from now on and move forward without feeling like things are left up in the air.

If he does text you back, make sure to prepare yourself for any answer. It could be good, it could be bad – but he has the opportunity to tell you what is going on.

conversation in the office

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This option is great because you can seek a resolution and understand why he stopped talking to you. This may be helpful in moving forward in other relationships and can help you discover things about yourself that may be holding you back. It also helps you to refine what you’re looking for in a partner.

Give Him a Piece of Your Mind

This third and controversial option is not for everyone. You could choose to confront him and let him know that you do not appreciate the way he treated you by ghosting you after a couple of dates.

This option is good if it works for your personality, but can leave some guys feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable. It might make them never want to see or speak with you again, which is why this isn’t the best option for many women.

If you do plan to confront him about his behavior, make sure that your wording does not create an aggressive or dramatic response from him. He may get defensive and feel like he has to prove himself if you come on too strong or in a way that makes it seem like you don’t trust him.

couple in a coffee shop

This option is good if you want to make it clear that his behavior was not acceptable and let him know where he went wrong. Keep in mind that this may turn into a heated discussion or argument. Not only could this hurt your feelings, but it may make you feel regretful about your own actions in the long run.

What to Text to a Guy Who Ghosted You

It can be hard to think of what to say in the moment when your feelings are hurt, but there are ways to get your point across clearly. Here are some suggestions for texting a guy who ghosted you:

  • I understand if you don’t want to connect, but I would appreciate it if you let me know that you’re ok.
  • What happened? I must have gotten the wrong message about our relationship.
  • You may be busy, but even if you have the time to send a quick check-in, it would be appreciated.
  • It’s disrespectful that you’re not returning my messages. A simple “no thanks, not interested” would have been better than nothing.
  • I understand you don’t want to be in a relationship right now, but I thought we had something special and wanted to see where it could go.

looking at her phone on the floor

  • What is going on? Are you okay? Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you or if there’s anything you need.
  • It would help me figure out what went wrong if you told me why you haven’t been answering my messages.
  • I don’t understand what happened and want to make sure we’re good. Can we talk about it?
  • Are you OK? I want to check in on your well-being before making any assumptions.
  • This is the last time I will reach out to you. I would like to hear an explanation on your end, but if not, this is the end.
  • I want you to know that it’s disrespectful of you to ignore my messages after all of the time we spent together.
  • I’m feeling pretty sad that you’ve ghosted me. I would like to understand why this happened before it becomes too awkward for us both.
  • I’ve noticed you’ve stopped communicating. Can you let me know what is going on?
  • I’m not sure why you aren’t texting me, and I don’t care. I know I deserve better than this. Wishing you the best.

These messages are respectful, clear about how you feel, and give him the opportunity to explain himself if he’s willing.

How Long Should You Wait to Text After Being Ghosted?

This decision is up to you. You could wait two weeks or two months before getting back in touch with him. There are no hard rules for this, but the longer you take to reach out, the more likely it is that he won’t be interested anymore or will have moved on from your relationship completely.

If you think about it, the time that has passed since you last spoke to him can actually be a good thing. It’s like restarting your relationship and giving it the chance to grow into something more meaningful this time around. If he ghosted you for a legitimate reason, such as an emergency or overwhelming business, it’s ok to hit the reset button on the relationship. However, this will only go well if he is more responsive at a future date.

It’s not the best feeling to wait around for a guy, no matter what his reasons are. Because of this, it’s probably best that you don’t wait longer than a week to send your text. This gives him enough time to get through any obligations in his workweek or other plans that he may have made.

reading text in the street

It’s important to know what you want before texting him, whether it be an explanation or closure about your relationship. If not, there’s a good chance that the ghosting will happen again and you’ll feel even worse than before. Refer to the above sample texts for ideas of what you can send.

Why Do Guys Ghost Then Come Back?

There are many reasons why a guy might ghost you and come back. Some of these reasons include:

He Wants To Keep the Relationship Open

You may not be on his mind, but he wants to keep things open in case he changes his mind about the relationship at some point down the line. This means that while you aren’t currently a priority for him, he still has feelings for you in general.

This isn’t a fair situation unless you’re open to what he’s offering and have other romantic priorities as well. You will have to keep in mind that this guy will likely be hot and cold throughout the relationship, so don’t place too many expectations on him.

He Wants To Be Friends

One of the most common reasons why guys will come back is because they want to be friends. This might seem strange, but it’s a good way for them to ease themselves back into your life and see what kind of relationship you’re willing to build on before committing again.

He Had a Change of Heart

Another reason may be that they weren’t ready for something serious at the time, but they feel more capable now. If this is the case, your guy will likely say something such as, “I was wrong to let you go” or, “You were the one I wanted all along.”

smiling in couch reading messages

If you have strong feelings for this guy and trust him otherwise, it may be worth it to give him another chance. However, don’t be too quick to trust that he will change his ways completely, because this isn’t always the case.

He Was Intimidated By You

So often, women feel that a guy only ghosts them because he’s not interested. However, it’s possible that he was intimidated by your intelligence, independence, or other strong traits that you possess.

This may not seem like a valid reason to ghost someone, but it may have surprised him as well. Perhaps he has been struggling to think of the perfect way to approach you and didn’t want to lose his chance.