21 Reasons Guys Always Lose Interest in You (And How to Fix It)

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Guys are sometimes mysterious, and few things about them are more intriguing than the reasons why they eventually lose interest in you.

Thankfully, the top 21 reasons we discovered all have easy fixes!

Read on below and get the full scoop. 

Why Do Guys Lose Interest In Me?

Most of the time, guys are going to lose naturally interest in you at some point in time, even if you are the coolest, sexiest, funniest person they know… if you didn’t know, now you know.

The reasons we discuss below include everything from chemistry, like testosterone and dopamine, to him simply not feeling your vibe, or even being scared of his own emotions towards you.

1. Low Testosterone Levels

happy couple in bed

Testosterone is one of the main aspects to consider when dealing with men, including in relationships and the bedroom. Being intimate with a partner raises testosterone levels significantly.

After physical intimacy, and orgasm, your man’s testosterone levels swan dive from cloud 9 right back down to normal. While you’re being physical, and arousing each other, in general, his testosterone levels increase. 

When he isn’t getting the physical attention his brain needs to raise testosterone up, he may get bored and pull away. Low T levels are one of the biggest factors that drive men to seek attention elsewhere.

2. Decrease in Vasopressin

Another interesting hormone-related issue that causes him to lose interest in you is low vasopressin. A study by Harvard Neuroscience Institute links the hormone to producing long-term and monogamous relationships.

The more time between sexual encounters, the higher the vasopressin levels will increase during intercourse and heavy make-out sessions.

That doesn’t mean outright denying him sex for days or weeks, but it does mean that a lot of foreplay and teasing isn’t such a bad idea. It may just make him fall in love.

3. No Dopamine Rush

The last chemistry-based reason on the list is another powerful one, Dopamine plays a major role in creating the feeling of needing and craving. 

Dopamine hacks the brain’s rewards center and gets it firing away like crazy when levels are high enough. 

not happy looking female in bed

The more normal your relationship becomes, the fewer dopamine increases occur during intercourse and physical contact in general. It’s still there, of course, but not nearly like it was during the honeymoon phase.

Spicing things up with some role play, or simply discussing what both parties enjoy the most in the bedroom, may reignite higher dopamine levels.

4. No Sex

For all of the reasons above, and many of those further down on the list, no sex can spell disaster in your relationship. 

Whether the relationship has involved much physical intimacy or sexual intercourse up to this point is not relevant. 

But, if you want to fix things, the answer is on the wall: consider having sex(or more sex).

5. No Common Interests

Regardless if you and your man share a great relationship on many fronts, like having respect for each other and each other’s friends and family, or even raising children together, you may not have any core common interests.

couple having fun together

The best way to avoid this is to know each other, spend time together, and cultivate hobbies or interests that is equally exciting to both parties.

This could include anything from watching TV together to going hiking, bowling, biking, or learning how to dance. The sky is the limit.

6. Things Seem Too Easy

If your guy isn’t in pursuit mode, he may just get bored and try to slip away for some fun somewhere else.

Lots of guys enjoy the thrill of the hunt, so to speak. That’s why you need to keep them hungry. 

If your guy doesn’t feel like he’s accomplishing something with you, or that he doesn’t need to try anymore, things seem too easy and he may lose interest.

That means to keep him thinking about you and keep yourself intertwined in all of his goals, wishes, and future plans.

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7. He Never Wanted Anything But Sex

couple in bed push back

There is a high likelihood that you will encounter more than one guy who doesn’t actually really want anything from you but sex. 

In these cases, there is nothing you can do to keep him in a relationship. And, quite frankly, good riddance to them anyhow!

If all he wanted was sex, he’s probably not worth getting to know anyway.

8. He Mistook Lust For Love

There is also a great possibility that you may cross paths with a potential lover and find out that the guy simply mistook lust for love.

While flattering, this situation can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and is best broken off quickly.

In the end, all you can do is be open, honest, and hope that your guy is too. That way you can avoid these types of issues.

9. Sex Was Too Awkward or Boring

couple in bed awkward

In his mind, if the sex is too awkward, it’s a big enough deal to start losing interest.

If he’s finishing too quickly, or you’re taking too long, things are going to get boring for one or both of you.

Most of the time, this issue is avoidable. All you need to do is be comfortable enough to discuss your do’s and dont’s for the bedroom.

But, in reality, sometimes awkward sex is just a sign that your relationship is going to be ruff, or you’re not actually compatible.

10. His Emotions For You Scare Him

When things are going really well between and your guy, and his testosterone, dopamine, and vasopressin hormones are all doing their jobs, be wary: he could catch feelings and scare himself away!

That’s right, ladies. If you guy notices he has deeper feelings than he wants to admit or wants to develop for that matter, he might just tuck tail and run.

The best way to avoid this is to keep your own emotions in check as best as possible and also try to be there to support him as much as possible as well.

11. Your Feelings For Him Scare Him

Sometimes guys get scared when you show them “too much” emotion at once, especially at the beginning of the relationship.

couple showing her mask

That doesn’t mean wearing a mask, or even hiding your true emotions… just, taking things at a pace that won’t scare him off!

Again, getting to know your guy, like, REALLY know him, goes a long way in cluing you in on how much emotion is too much to reveal at once.

12. The Relationship Runs Its Course

Even when it seems that all is well, sometimes things are actually destined to fail and are just running their course.

In this case, it isn’t really his fault, your fault, or anyone’s fault. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.

Honestly? It’s better to let something run its course than to try and force yourself or your guy to stay and suffer. 

13. Peak Sexual Interest Is Reached And Declines

happy couple outdoors

A lot of guys are out for an adventure. Unfortunately, that adventure may just be you.

Guys who are indeed just out for the thrill and excitement of a new conquest will be gone faster than greased lightning the minute they reach their sexual peak and interest begins to decline.

Even worse, there is no real way to prevent this sort of guy from attracting you, or from slipping away once he’s had his fun. 

14. The Relationship is Uncomfortable

If your man feels like things have grown uncomfortable in your relationship, he is going to lose interest in you directly as well. 

Once things start heading south, his mind will begin to wander to greener pastures which likely don’t include you.

To safeguard yourself from this fate, keep things interesting and open. Don’t let things get awkward between you!

15. Your Deep-Rooted Issues Surface

couple issues sitting in bed

As flakey as it may make your guy seem, dealing with childhood baggage and other deep-rooted issues may be too much.

Granted, if you’ve been together for more than a few years, this shouldn’t be an issue… and if it is there’s something wrong with HIM!

That said, in the beginning, takes things slowly and keep the conversation on there here and now, rather than topics that touch on traumatic memories or deep-seated issues.

16. His Deep-Rooted Issues Surface

On the flip side to #15 on our list, you guy may also light a shuck out of dodge due to his own deep-rooted issues coming to the surface.

Especially in the beginning of a relationship, when he’s still getting to know you, dealing with his own baggage may be too much work.

The best thing you can do in this case is to reach out and reassure him that his issues aren’t deal-breakers, and offer whatever support is needed.

17. He Realizes He Has No Non-Physical Attraction to You

Non-physical attraction is what people feel for each other when you take away all physical aspects of their relationship. This is one of the main reasons guys always lose interest in you.

Because we’re always looking at each other, we sometimes forget that there is a difference between how we feel about someone, and how attracted we are to them.

couple looking away

If he realizes he isn’t attracted to you in a non-physical way, he may start losing interest right away.

18. Someone Isn’t Listening 

When someone isn’t listening to their partner, especially when it comes to feelings, life goals, or what’s preferred in the bedroom, there is a big fat chance that someone is going to lose interest real fast!

The best course of action here is to keep your eyes, ears, heart, and mind open for your guy. That way he never feels like you aren’t listening.

Plus, if you aren’t listening to him, do you really care about him enough to be in a relationship, to begin with? Maybe not!

19. He Realizes He is Not Sexually Attracted to Women

happy having a cup of coffee

Believe it or not ladies, it does happen, and it has nothing to do with you so don’t take it personally. 

Every now and then, it’s bound to happen, and it might just happen to you.

You’re dating Mr. Right and everything is fantastic until he suddenly ghosts you… because he realizes he isn’t sexually attracted to women.

The only thing to do in such a scenario is to bow out gracefully and try to remain friends if it’s possible.

20. He is a Pyscho or Player

There is also the occasional player or psycho that’s going to pop out of the woodwork from time to time.

Sorry, girls, there’s nothing you can do to avoid it(aside from restraining from dating altogether).

When you realize that your guy is sneaking around, making secret calls, and messaging people on multiple apps from accounts you don’t know about, chances are that he has already lost interest.

The good part is you don’t have to fix anything most of the time, these players get to scootin’ on their own… right onto their next victim.

21. Caveman Genetics in His DNA

Last but far from least, one of the reasons guys always lose interest in you is that they are a product of their DNA.

That’s right, in some guys, the caveman genetics are so prominent they don’t even try to hide it.

Simply wham-bam-thank-you-mam’, every chance they get.

How to Stop a Guy from Losing Interest

pointing at the computer

Now that you know some of the most common reasons why guys always lose interest in you, let’s have a look at some pointers on fixing things up.

Ways to combat the reasons guys always lose interest in you include:

  • Invest in spending time with him, getting to know him
  • Stimulate his brain, not just his body
  • Make him pursue you, but don’t treat him like a puppy
  • Help him feel a sense of accomplishment
  • Make him feel manly
  • Listen/be open to what he wants, physically/sexually


What Happens to Men After Sex?

Immediately after the orgasm, men begin losing their erection. Within seconds the erection is almost gone but may take up to several minutes to go away completely. Men may feel relaxed or even sleepy for several minutes afterward as well.

Why Are Guys Interested In/Want Sex?

Men want sex because they know that it feels good and that it is a great way for orgasms to be achieved. For men, sex is also strongly linked to feelings of validation, self-worth, confidence, and connection. Hence, one of the reasons guys always lose interest in you is the lack of feeling successful with you.

Why Are Women Interested In/Want Sex?

Women have a particular interest in the relationship-enhancing aspects of sex, in addition to the physical stimulation. For women, sex is also closely woven with self-esteem and independence, as well as a means to secure a relationship.