DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
So you’ve met a guy you think you like, and you’ve exchanged numbers. Now you’re texting each other, and you’re finding it a little difficult to figure out what to say.
Your ideas seem too emotional, too clingy, too cold, or too bland. Everything is “too much” of something, and the last thing you want to do is drive him away before your relationship even starts.
We don’t want you to feel trapped. That’s why we’ve written this guide full of random things to text a guy you like, so you can come back here when you’re running low on inspiration. Use any of the options on this list when you’re out of ideas.
Stick to These Basic Texting Rules
Don’t answer him right away.
One of the fastest ways you can send any guy running for the hills is seeming desperate. It makes him feel like you’re going to force him into a relationship before he’s ready, and it gives him another hidden message: no one else wants to put up with you. Why else would you be so desperate?
We both know that this isn’t true, and you’re much better than that. This why you should avoid answering him the very same second he texts you.
Yes, it will be hard to resist your phone when it goes off and you see his name on the screen. But trust us when we say it’s better if you fight the urge to immediately answer; he’ll see that you have a life outside of him. That means he needs to work harder to get your attention, and he’ll value the attention you do give him even more.
Keep it light and easy.
Even when you’re in the worst mood, you should try to keep yourself from turning the conversations into more negative waters. If you do this too often, he’ll start to assume all you do is complain, and it’s never fun to talk to someone like that.
You’re human, though. You will have days where you can’t plaster a fake smile onto your face, much less pretend everything is okay for a whole conversation.
The longer you’ve known each other, the more weight you can put on the conversation when you have a heavy heart. Earlier on, though, you should try to keep it bright so it’s easy for him to talk to you. When this feels too difficult to do, simply tell him you have something going on and you’ll text him later.
Avoid making him feel bad for pauses in the conversation.
Our minds start really jumping to some crazy conclusions when the people we like aren’t answering us. When the guy you’re crushing on is dragging his feet answering you, it’s only natural to get a little worried.
These feelings start to build up, until you feel as if you’re going to explode like a shaken can of soda. You might find yourself wanting to ask him if he’s still there or text him again just in case he didn’t see your first message.
Don’t do either of those things. There’s a good chance he’s busy, and if you keep texting him until he finally answers you, he’ll see nothing but red flags. If you need to, put down your phone and find something else to occupy your time.
Read Also: What to Text a Guy to Get Him to Respond
Play it cool.
Falling in love is breathtaking. You find yourself brimming with thoughts about your special someone, and just thinking about them can be enough to turn a bad day completely around. Naturally, when you’re feeling this way, you’ll want to gush to them.
But the earlier in your relationship that you are, the greater the risk that such gushing could overwhelm him. Growing a healthy relationship is like building a bridge. Spend time working on it and testing it before you decide to throw the weight of a confession on it.
In other words, try to keep yourself from gushing. Flirting with him is fine, but wait until you’re more certain before you tell him about your deepest feelings.
Feel free to step away when you need a break.
When you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, confused, or just plain exhausted, remember that you can step away. In fact, you can kind of kill two birds with one stone here: not only are you giving yourself a break, but you’re showing him you have other things to do.
Just tell him that you’re going to be busy for a bit and you’ll text him back when you can. No need to give him details.
Stay away from easy (but boring) one-word texts.
If you’re not sure what else to say, it can be too easy to reach for those trusty, basic “hey” or “hi” texts. Sure, they’re low-effort, but the cons far outweigh the pros here.
When you send him a text like that, it bores him. It’s not giving him anything to answer to, and unless he’s a conversational genius, there’s a good chance he won’t know what to say.
Even if all you’re doing is adding a smiley, don’t use one-word messages. At least a smiley gives him some emotion to respond to.
Related Article: How to Reply to One-Word Texts from Guys (5 Proven Methods)
Random Things to Text a Guy You Like
Try some unique conversation starter questions.
Goodbye, boring “how are you” texts, and hello interesting conversation starters he’s likely never heard of! Nothing is likelier to catch him off guard than a question he’s never been asked before.
If you can’t come up with any interesting questions yourself, there are tons of guides online with unique options, like this post. We’ll also give you a few options to try out when you’re running out of ideas.
- “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten for breakfast?”
- “If you could only listen to one band for the rest of your life, which one would you pick?”
- “Where would you travel to, if money weren’t an object?”
- “What’s one movie that always makes you laugh?”
- “Do you have a dream car (or any particular object he’s interested in)?”
Side Note: Check out our ultimate guy texting guide on this page.
Use a cute message to let him know you’re thinking of him.
Another great way to show the guy you like him is by letting him know he was on your mind. We don’t mean that you should just confess deeper feelings for him, but we mean hinting to him that he crossed your mind.
For instance, let him know if you heard a song or saw a movie that you thought he’d like. These kinds of gestures indicate to him that you thought of him without being clingy.
- “I heard a song today that reminded me of you. Check it out and let me know what you think.”
- “This weekend, I saw a movie that I think you’d like. Wanna watch it with me sometime?”
Need some extra help writing that perfect cute text? Try using some of the text templates in the Text Chemistry program. It was designed to use texts that really get into a man’s head and get him hooked on you.
Ask him about something you know he’s interested in.
If you’ve been texting him for long enough, you’ve probably picked up on a few things he’s into. These are the perfect topics to dig into to show him that you’re paying attention.
One way to do so is to ask further questions about his interests. This shows him that you’ve been thinking about it, and that you care enough about his interests to seek further information about them.
- “Can you tell me more about building computers? I think I might try and build one myself someday.”
- “Where are your favorite places to hike? I was considering going for a hike this weekend.”
Recommended Article: Interesting Text Messages to Send to a Guy (With 15+ Intriguing Examples)
Get his opinion on a topic he likes.
Want to know how to flatter pretty much anyone, including the guy you’ve got your eye on? Ask for their guidance or advice on something.
When you turn to them for opinions and guidance, you’re deferring to them as the expert. It allows the person you’re talking to show off their expertise and feel good about helping you at the same time.
Like we mentioned before, focus on his hobbies for this one. Make sure you ask him for his opinion on something he actually knows and cares about, because that will snag his attention right away.
- “How do you choose what things to bring with you when you go camping?”
- “I’m not sure what I did wrong when I set up this new TV. What do you think I need to do to fix it?”
- “I’m trying to learn how to make the perfect steak. Do you have any pointers for me?”
Snap an adorable picture for him.
You’ve heard the old adage that a picture is worth a thousand words. So why don’t you use a picture to communicate with him?
A selfie is the perfect way to do so. If you feel like you’re looking great, snap a picture of you feeling confident and send it to him.
This is an incredibly flexible approach. You can send him a cute picture of something like your smile, a cool picture of you in sunglasses, or even a sexy picture with an attractive outfit. The possibilities are endless, and different angles, lighting, expressions, and clothes allow you to convey countless messages to him…all with nothing more than tapping on your screen.
Challenge him to a little friendly competition.
Competition is enough to get most people’s hearts pumping, and more likely than not, your guy is no exception to the rule. We’d be willing to bet he’ll sit up straight in his seat when you issue a challenge to him, especially if he’s naturally competitive.
If you can, make the challenges fun and even a little flirtatious. Up the ante a little bit by giving him some stakes, like offering to pay for the next dinner or drink.
- “One coffee at that new café on the block says I can’t beat your score in this game.”
- “I bet you look cuter than me today! Pic for pic?”
Bring on the heat by hinting at something sexy.
Whether we like it or not all the time, there’s no denying that most guys love when things get sexy. If some friendly competition doesn’t grab his attention, we have no doubts upping the spiciness in your texts will.
Chances are, when you send him something a little naughty, he’ll hurry to answer you. It will get his imagination running wild and make it clear that you’re interested in him.
The drawback to this method is that it can also send him the wrong message. If you initiate sexual conversations too often, he’ll get the idea all you want is a physical relationship. Of course, if that’s all you actually want, that’s fine…but just keep this in mind if you’re looking for something deeper.
- Send him a spicier selfie of you. It could include cleavage, a tight outfit, a short skirt – whatever makes you feel sexy.
- “I can’t stop thinking about what you did to me last night. I’d love to see if it’s really as good as I remember.”
Further Reading: I Want to Kiss You Texts for Him (With 15 Examples You Can Use)
How to Improve Your Texting Skills Dramatically
While we try to provide detailed guides to help women in love, we understand that sometimes you might need a little extra assistance. Texting in a way that gets your man addicted to you takes effort and skill, after all.
If you find yourself wanting even more text templates to use, we strongly suggest checking out Amy North’s Text Chemistry program. It was written by a dating coach, and it’s filled with texts that you can take and send to your man when you’re feeling uninspired.