.Getting to know other people can be tricky. Sometimes you really hit it off, and sometimes it’s better to part ways. Alternatively, you might meet someone really cool, but you get overwhelmed by them texting you every five minutes. It’s hard to know how to tell a guy to stop texting you quite as much without being mean about it.
How do You Get a Guy to Stop Texting You Without Being Mean?
There are many different ways to handle situations other than being mean about them. Take a moment to think about how you like other people to treat you, for example. If you weren’t aware that you were overstepping someone’s boundaries, would you want them to be patient and nice to you about it? Or just yell at you and tell you what a horrible person you are?
Take a look at the entire situation to determine how to proceed. That way, you can determine where he’s coming from, and how to explain your stance.
Below are some suggestions on how to handle various over-the-top texting situations.
What to Do if a Guy Keeps Messaging You?
If a guy you like keeps messaging you, that’s generally a good sign that he likes you a lot. He’s enthusiastic about wanting to connect with you more, as well as sharing his thoughts and ideas with you over the course of the day.
That said, there can be too much of a good thing, you know? If you can’t concentrate on work or studies because your phone is going off every five minutes, that’s… less than awesome.
“I’m Catching Up on Work”
If he’s being a little too enthusiastic, tell him that you appreciate hearing from him, but you’re falling behind on work. Try something like: “My boss is going to lose it on me if I keep checking my phone. Can we talk later tonight and catch up properly?”
This lets him know that you do want to talk to him, and look forward to doing so, but he’s overstepping. It makes your stance clear without making him feel stupid or small.
“I’m Trying to Cut Back on Screen Time”
Alternatively, if he’s over-texting you in the evenings on on the weekends, you can tell him that you’re trying to cut back on your screen time. You can even ask him to help support you while you ease off on your “phone addiction” by limiting texts to X times of day. In most cases, the guy will be eager to be helpful towards you and will honor that request.
What Does It Mean When a Guy Constantly Texts You?
Well, as mentioned above, the main reason a guy constantly texts a girl is because he’s really into her. If you two have only met recently, he’s probably eager to learn more about you. He likely also wants to share details about himself so you get to know him better too.
Take a look at the subject matter he’s texting you about. Is he sharing things like a cool song he heard that he thinks you’d like? Or he’s telling you about a recipe he cooks really well? If so, then these are all really good signs. It means you’re on his mind pretty much all the time.
Is He Asking a LOT of Questions About What You’re Doing?
In contrast, let’s say you’ve been dating for a little while and he’s texting you all day to find out what you’re doing. Is he always asking what you’re up to and where you are? That can imply a couple of different things.
For one, it could mean that he’s insecure and thinks that if he isn’t in constant touch with you, you’ll lose interest. He might not have strong interpersonal skills and doesn’t quite get that everyone needs alone time. This is common with people who are on the autism spectrum. This is because they don’t always have the emotional awareness that they’re being overwhelming.
Another Couple of Reasons…
Alternatively, he might be worried that something “bad” might happen to you. This is especially common in people who have dealt with a traumatic loss, like losing a partner or family member in an accident.
They often feel a need to be in frequent contact with people they care about because they’re afraid of losing them. In situations like this, try to be patient and reassuring, but also express your own feelings about respecting boundaries.
Controlling and Over-Stepping
A final reason why a guy constantly texts you is that he may be possessive and controlling. Does he insist on you telling him where you are and who you’re with? Does he interrupt your time with other friends or try to get you to break plans to talk to/hang out with him? Those are some pretty big red flags to pay attention to.
When you’re considering how to tell a guy to stop texting you, remember that context is everything. Your approach should absolutely depend on what kind of guy he is, and how he makes you feel.
There’s a Creepy Guy That Won’t Stop Texting – What Should I Do?
This is a different situation to navigate, and a lot depends on what your relationship with this guy has been like so far.
If you’re just getting to know the guy and he’s starting to be super weird, you can tell him that you’re really busy and don’t have much time to talk. Or, you can be more straightforward. Let him know that you don’t feel that you two have the connection he’s looking for. Then, tell him that you’d prefer to end communication. That’s clear and firm… which should give him the hint to leave you alone. Alternatively, it might make him angry and abusive. It really depends on what kind of a person he is.
Unfortunately, most of us will inevitably have to deal with creepy guys at some point, so make sure you engage in self care, and communicate with your friends and family about what you’re experiencing.
A Stronger Approach May be Needed
Some guys just won’t let off unless you tell them that you’re dating someone else. In their minds, a woman is basically fair game unless some other guy has a claim on them. They’ll respect the other guy, but not a woman who just says “I’m not interested”. Create a make-believe boyfriend if you need to. Then tell the creepy dude that your bf is getting upset about you talking to other men. That usually works, though you can expect a few insults because his ego has been bruised.
If he doesn’t respect your boundaries and won’t stop texting you, then you can contact your phone service provider and block his number. While you’re at it, block him on social media and set your profiles to “private”. Make yourself unavailable and unattainable and he should get the idea and back off.
As you can see, knowing how to tell a guy to stop texting you depends on a lot on the circumstances. You can communicate your boundaries without being hurtful, and there are also ways to protect yourself if you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Hopefully, the guy you’ve been talking to understands that he needs to ease off on the text avalanches. This also means that he needs to honor your request to leave you alone. If you want to keep getting to know this guy, and possibly cultivate a relationship with him, the fact that he’s respecting boundaries is a great sign. It means that he’s willing to listen to your needs, and will be supportive and respectful in the future.
Take Care of Yourself First and Foremost
In contrast, a guy whom you’ve asked to leave you alone but doesn’t might make things more difficult for you. If you’ve already slept with him at your place, or he’s dropped you off after a date and knows where you live, stay alert. Some guys can get obsessive, and don’t deal well with rejection. It’s possible that you might get a surprise visit, demanding to know why you’ve stopped talking to him.
This isn’t meant to scare you, but rather to encourage you to always be aware of your surroundings. Let your friends, family members, and possibly even your neighbors know if you’re dealing with this, as they can help support you as you extricate yourself from this person’s social circle.