A huge part of most relationships is chemistry.
And not just emotional chemistry, but the physical stuff, too. You know what we’re talking about.
We’re talking about the stuff that makes your skin tingle whenever he touches you. The stuff that makes it so you can’t get enough of him when he kisses you.
You probably had all that and more with your ex-boyfriend, so it’s only to be expected that you would miss it. In fact, if you’re looking at this guide, you’re probably thinking that you’d like to experience it again with him.
But how is this possible if you two broke up?
Don’t worry – it’s far from hopeless. In this article, we’ll walk you through how to get your ex-boyfriend to sleep with you.
Why Do You Want to Sleep with Him?
Before you jump under the covers with your ex, though, you should probably take a moment to figure out exactly why you want to sleep with him.
To put it another way, what are you hoping to get out of it? Your strategy will be a bit different depending on what it is you truly want.
Do you just want to enjoy some casual, no-strings-attached sex with him? Then you’ll have a little more flexibility in what you can do to draw him back in.
Alternatively, if you’re hoping to use the powers of sex to make him fall back in love with you…it will take some more effort.
Regardless of which of the motivations more closely fits your desires, we’ll explain which strategies work for either outcome.
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Don’t Forget Your Recovery Time
We can’t stress this enough: take time to recover after the breakup.
Emotions always run high once you break up. You’ll be feeling a mixed bag of angry, let down, disappointed, sad, and lonely.
All these powerful emotions will potentially lead to you making decisions you’ll regret later. It’s even entirely possible that your desire to sleep with your ex again comes from these very same emotions.
What’s our recommendation? Following a strict no contact rule.
That means you’ll need to set a certain number of weeks or days where you won’t talk to your ex at all after you split. Many women all over the world do this, with periods of time that range from two weeks to several months.
The exact length of time depends on you. A good average, though, is about three or four weeks.
During that time, you’ll work on taking care of yourself. Focus solely on you, and making yourself into an even better person than before.
Not only will this make you feel accomplished, but your ex will be stunned when he sees the new and improved version of you the next time you contact him.
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Stay Away from These Turn-Offs
Seduction is a dance, and like any other dance, a single misstep can throw it off.
But unless you know what those missteps are, you won’t know how to keep away from them. We’ll lay them all out for you below.
Pleading with him to sleep with you.
Your main goal here is to get him to sleep with you, but begging is always a turn-off. It cheapens you, flipping the tables and putting the power squarely in his hands.
When you beg, the best outcome is that he can choose to take pity on you. The worst outcome, of course, is that he walks away from you entirely.
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Assuming the best thing happened after you begged him, do you really want his pity?
Short answer: no. Longer answer: no, you want to tantalize him so much he’s begging on his knees to please you.
Putting too much pressure on him.
This is a little like begging him, but it can differ. In addition to trying to convince him to sleep with you, you might be putting pressure on him to make a commitment to you right away.
If you’re looking to forge a new relationship with him at the end, then a little pressure will be necessary. But you need to be subtle about it – so subtle, in fact, that he mostly comes to the conclusion that he needs you back on his own.
Constantly dropping hints that you want to date him again or outright demanding he get back together with you right now won’t work. You need to avoid doing this at all costs, or you risk him withdrawing from you forever.
Coming across as too easy.
Just like it can be a dance, seduction can also be like a chase. You’ll take the role of the prey, and he’ll take the role of the hunter…on the surface, anyway.
Beneath the surface, the roles are actually reversed. Ideally, you’re the one with the most control, and he doesn’t even realize it.
How do you keep the control? You keep it by parceling out flirtatiousness and sexiness at your leisure, and only after he’s earned it.
He earns your affections by romancing you and sweeping you off your feet. He needs to zero in on you and build a foundation of attraction that you can’t resist.
All of this is for nothing if you just fall into his bed at the first opportunity. You’re ending the fun much too early, and he’ll start thinking that he can simply make you his next booty call.
If you want to be his booty call, that’s all fine and dandy, then. But those looking for a serious relationship with their ex need to play their cards much more carefully.
Bombarding him with messages and texts.
Obviously, you like him at least a little bit, otherwise you won’t want to hook up with him again. And the thing about liking someone is that we usually get antsy when they don’t answer us right away.
It’s even worse when you’re communicating with your ex, because you’re putting yourself out there for him. You’re making yourself vulnerable to the rejection of someone you once had a special bond with.
So you could possibly find it even more difficult to resist the siren song of texting him over and over.
You’ll think to yourself, “Well, maybe he didn’t see my first text…maybe if I send him another one, I’ll get his attention.”
You’re both right and wrong here. Sure, you’ll get his attention…by getting on his nerves.
He’ll think you’re a clingy person who can’t stand to be on their own, and no one wants to sleep with a clinger.
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend to Sleep with You
Knowing what not to do is only half the battle. Understanding the steps you do need to take in this seductive dance is crucial, too.
Now, here’s the plan:
Tease him in texts.
Most men just can’t resist being teased a little. It makes him feel like the proverbial hunter, or like James Bond setting his sights on his Bond girl.
The key to teasing him is just hinting at the possibilities. To get to this point, you’ll need to have reached out to him after your no contact period and started another conversation.
We’ve got a guide on what to text your ex-boyfriend after a no contact period if you need some help deciding what to say.
Once you’ve got a good conversational flow going on, start sprinkling some flirty hints in. Use suggestive emojis, like the wink face here and there.
You could tell him that you had the craziest dream about him last night…then when he asks for more details on what that is, take your time answering.
He’ll go absolutely crazy thinking about you in the meantime.
Need a little extra help concocting the perfect flirty text? There’s actually a course with tons of text templates you can use to have your ex-boyfriend drooling over you.
It was created by romance expert Amy North, and it’s called the Text Chemistry course. We highly recommend it if you’re feeling insecure about your texting capabilities.
Up your flirting game when you meet.
The next step after talking is getting him to agree to meet up with you sometime. However, when you actually see him for the first time, don’t plan to sleep with him.
That will come later. The first time you hang out with him again will be spent putting your best self on proud display for him.
Wear something cute, but not too sexy just yet. Otherwise, you’re putting all your cards down on the table a little early.
As for where you meet, pick someplace in public with a casual atmosphere. Going for a drink or a quick meal are good options.
Like you did by text or messages on social media, build a conversation with him again. As the conversation goes on, get progressively flirtier and flirtier.
Touch his arm lightly, look into his eyes, smile at him, maybe even bite your lip once as the meeting ends. Let your eyes sweep over him from head to do before you walk out that door for the night.
He’ll definitely feel the heat. We’d be willing to bet you’ll discover him frantically texting you within moments of you leaving.
Don’t give in to him right away.
Even if you feel like you’re absolutely on fire for him, don’t give into him right away. Don’t shimmy under the covers with him the very first chance you get.
This applies to you even if all you want is some casual and sexy fun, too. Why?
Because it takes all the fun out of the chase. Truly good sex – the kind you replay over and over again in your head – starts long before there’s any actual physical contact.
You work your way up to it. Together, you build the sexual tension and the passion until it just explodes out of you.
So hooking up with him ASAP is just like only inflating a balloon halfway. Yeah, you’ll see the shape of it, but it won’t be nearly as entertaining or beautiful as if you’d taken the time to fill it all the way.
If you want a relationship, let him know that sex comes with the territory of a commitment for you.
Now, this only applies to you if you want to get back together with him for good.
If that sounds like you, then the absolute worst thing you could do is end up as nothing more than a casual fling. To ensure he understands what you want, don’t sleep with him until you make it clear what you’re looking for.
Be honest with him about your expectations. Tell him that yes, you’re deeply attracted to him, but you’re heart needs to be involved in it, too.
Keep teasing him along the way, with the understanding that your heart and your body are a package deal. To get in your bed, he’s going to need to get in your heart again first.
This is a two-way street. He needs to want to be with you, too.
But if you’ve spent all this time talking and flirting with each other, he may very well have discovered the connection between you all over again. You might find him more than happy to fall in love with you a second time.
Have some fun, and enjoy the chase!
Hey, seducing and being seduced in turn is fun. Even though you might have more serious intents here, or you feel like there’s more on the line, don’t forget to enjoy it.
It shouldn’t feel like a chore. It should be something you legitimately want to do, something that gets your heart pumping.
You should love being with him again and savor every moment. If you’re not enjoying the flirting and the sparks, there isn’t really a reason to seduce him, is there?
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The Secret to Getting Him Devoted to You
For the ladies looking to rebuild a relationship with their ex: did you know that there’s a step above love in the chain of affection?
Love is wonderful, but it can fade with time. If you really want to keep him by your side for as long as possible, you’ll want to get him devoted to you.
How you do it will require an understanding of how the average man’s mind works. Once you know more, you’ll be able to take advantage of his very psychology to ensure he’s thinking of you all day and night.
It can even work on your ex-boyfriend. To learn more about it, we recommend checking out the Devotion System.
In it, Amy North talks about all aspects of male psychology as it relates to romance. She’ll give you strategies your ex-boyfriend will find impossible to resist for reasons he can’t even understand.
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