How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When He Has Moved On

One of the worst things that can happen to you romantically is watching someone you’re in love with move on.

You’re sitting there, wondering how you’ll get better and if you’ll ever be able to let go. Your heart is still filled with pain and longing for your ex.

Meanwhile, you see him going on to be happy without you. You almost start to wonder if he ever really loved you at all.

We know it hurts. That’s why we’ve written this article about how to get your ex-boyfriend back when he has moved on.

Signs Your Ex-Boyfriend Has Moved On

We’re starting by answering this question: how do you know your ex has truly “moved on?”

It’s kind of a vague sentence, and it doesn’t really explain to you what moving on means. To help clear the air, we’re going to explain for you what your ex-boyfriend does when he’s begun to move on.

He’s seeing someone else.

Another woman on his arm could be a clear sign that he’s started the process of moving on. However, unlike many of the other signs, it’s not necessarily a guarantee he’s completely over you.

When the new relationship happened right after you broke up, there’s a good chance it’s a rebound relationship. That’s when someone starts dating someone else almost immediately after the end of another relationship.

If you suspect your ex’s new woman is a rebound, there’s a good chance he hasn’t really moved on. He might be using the other girl to help him forget about you.

We talk about rebound relationships a little bit more in our article about how to get your ex-boyfriend back from another girl.

When he talks to you, it’s distant or casual.

You can kind of tell when a guy is interested you and he’s trying to hide it. There’s a sort of tension between you.

He’ll use emojis, seemingly casually ask about you, and try to get your attention when you’re not answering him.

Well, all of that goes away when it’s your ex-boyfriend who’s moved on.

He’ll either be kind of distant when you talk to him, or he’ll be friendly…minus any hints of flirting.

No matter which approach he takes, you’ll feel the chemistry between you quickly cooling off.

Related Article: How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend to Fall in Love With You Again

He doesn’t answer you quickly when you text him.

"He won't feel an urgency to answer you because you may not have his interest anymore."

He has a life outside of you, so not answering right away doesn’t have to mean he’s completely over you…but it can be a sign that he’s getting there.

When you like someone, you want to talk to them as much as possible. You might use strategies like not answering them right away to keep yourself from looking clingy.

But you’ll see him doing this more often when he’s starting to get over you, too. He won’t feel an urgency to answer you because you may not have his interest anymore.

He’s not liking or commenting on your posts on social media.

An ex that’s still holding on to their last relationship will have to fight hard not to look at their former partner’s profiles online.

It’s like a free window into their life. It’s so tempting to stalk it daily to see if they’re missing you or seeing someone else.

However, it’s also a destructive behavior, because it usually just causes us pain. If your ex-boyfriend is stalking your profile secretly, he may find himself having to resist the urge to interact with your posts.

He may even slip up here and there.

But as he moves on, this temptation won’t be nearly as strong. He won’t respond to your posts as much for a long time.

This distance is the first step in a cycle. When he makes a full recovery, he might start interacting with your posts again because he’s able to do it without emotional pain.

So watch for a period of distance followed by casual likes and comments on your profiles.

You Might Also Like: How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Using Male Psychology

When you date other people, he doesn’t seem to care.

"He'll no longer see your heart as something he needs to win, and he won't be feeling the pressure of the competition."

We don’t think you should go out of your way to rub new dates in your ex’s face, regardless of how much you’re desperate for his attention.

However, there’s nothing wrong with occasionally and naturally mentioning it on your social media. You can’t help it if you have plans, or you get tagged in someone else’s posts, for example.

You also can’t help it if you’re talking to your ex, and he asks what your plans are for this weekend…and one of those plans just happens to be a date.

An ex who’s still into you will feel a bit of jealousy surge up in him. He might immediately change the subject or send a cold response.

But an ex who’s completely over you? If he’s still on good terms with you, he’ll be happy for you.

That’s because he’ll no longer see your heart as something he needs to win, and he won’t be feeling the pressure of the competition.

See Also: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Avoiding Me? (And How to Make Him Stop)

He flat-out tells you he no longer has feelings for you.

Maybe you’ve gone out on a limb and confessed you still have feelings for him. Or perhaps you’ve done something else to open up the possibility of an honest discussion.

In that case, he may have simply told you he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore.

Yes, there’s the possibility that he’s lying so that you don’t needlessly hold onto each other.

But if he’s straight-out told you he’s not in love with you, save yourself the pain of clinging to hope. Take him at face value and try to move on, too.

This is one of those situations where even we recommend trying to recover from your ex rather than getting him back.

In the future, things might change. He may come back to you and beg for you, but for the time being, it’s best to focus on yourself.

Further Reading: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Always in My Dreams? (Your Dreams Decoded)

He makes a clean break from you.

If you’ve had a few relationships in the past, you may have had one where you were determined to get over your ex.

One of the first things you did was cut all ties. That means blocking him on all social media accounts, maybe even blocking him on your phone.

Well, your ex-boyfriend might turn this around on you. If you discover that he’s blocked you or unfriended you on social media, and you’re not able to contact him, all signs point to him moving on.

What are the chances of recovering him from this stage? Honestly, they’re pretty slim.

How are you supposed to win him back if he won’t even talk to you? At that point, your best bet is to work on healing yourself and seeing if he ever reopens communication channels between you later on.

Recommended Article: How to Use Reverse Psychology to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When He Has Moved On

Recognized any of the signs he’s moved on? Now it’s time to figure out how you can fix most of them.

You’ll feel much better once you have a plan in place.

Undergo a no contact rule from start to finish.

"If he expects you to cling to him, he's in for a rude awakening."

Just like if you wanted to get over him for good, you should cut all ties with him…sort of.

Instead of permanently removing him from your life, follow a strict no contact rule. For a set period of time (we suggest at least a month), don’t let yourself talk to your ex-boyfriend at all.

If you have circumstances that make that difficult, such as having kids together, you can make a promise to yourself to not talk to him except when you absolutely have to.

Why should you do this? For starters, it means you can spend some much-needed time cooling down and healing.

For another thing, it makes your ex-boyfriend realize that you’re not just going to come running back to him. If he expects you to cling to him, he’s in for a rude awakening.

So what will you do during that time to keep your mind off him? We strongly suggest kicking into self-improvement mode.

Fitness, the outdoors, and any other new hobby or project are all great things to work on while you’re keeping away from him. That way, when you do talk to him again (because yes, you will at some point), you’ll return better than ever before.

Related Article: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Acting Like a Jerk?

Reach back out to him afterward and keep a conversation going.

When you’ve completed your no contact period, it’s time to come out of the romance hibernation.

Take the initiative here and reach out to your ex. He’ll be dying to know how you’re doing, anyway. 😉

Your new goal is to make sure the conversation you start and maintain is light and positive. Don’t tell him how much pain you’ve been in, and don’t try to mess with his head to make him jealous.

Just keep your cool. If you start to feel too emotional, set your phone aside and spend some time cooling down again.

Read Also: What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend After a No Contact Period

Accept him as just a friend at first, and take this time to build a connection.

You can’t just jump right to asking him to get back together with you. He’ll be overwhelmed, especially after the hurt of the breakup and the no contact period.

As you talk to him, your focus should be on regaining his trust. You’re essentially building a new relationship on the damaged foundation of the old one.

You may need to just accept him as a friend for the time being. In fact, by establishing that he’s a friend for now first, you can flip it around and drive him insane with desire.

You’ve heard about guys going crazy over being in the “friend zone.” By putting him there for awhile initially, you’re indirectly telling him that the game is on.

And he’ll definitely start thinking of ways to escape from the dreaded friend zone.

If he has a new girlfriend, let him know that you respect those boundaries.

"By refusing to sabotage his relationship or make him jealous, you're making yourself look like the better (and more desirable) person."

Part of being a good friend to him (even if your objective is to win him back) is to be supportive of him.

So if he’s got a new woman, tell him that you’re not looking to break him up.

Think of it this way: if she’s a rebound, you probably won’t even need to do anything. Experts all over the world have said that rebound relationships aren’t likely to last very long.

Plus, you’ll be demonstrating your maturity to him this way. By refusing to sabotage his relationship or make him jealous, you’re making yourself look like the better (and more desirable) person.

Show him how well you’re doing and live your best life.

At all times while you’re talking to your ex, you should be living the best life you can. Go out there and experience the world.

And yes, you should by all means also dip your toes back into the dating pool. You don’t need to get into a committed relationship necessarily, but there’s nothing wrong with seeing what’s out there.

The point of all this is to make it apparent to your ex-boyfriend that you don’t actually need him. You want to show him that you can be happy without him.

Why? Think of it as reverse psychology.

Showing him that you’re not miserable without him will make him want you so much more than if you begged him to come back.

See him in person again, if possible.

You’re going to be able to put your strongest moves on him in person. That’s why it’s almost always better to see him, if it’s at all possible to arrange for a meeting.

But first, some tips on getting it set up: don’t tell him it’s a date. This puts a lot of pressure on him, especially if he’s still feeling a little hurt.

Set it up as a casual get-together for a chat. Arrange to see him somewhere informal, like a café or bar.

When you do see him, sprinkle in some flirting. Dress well, and make eye contact with him a lot.

Smile at him. As the night progresses, maybe touch his knee or his shoulder lightly. Lean towards him a little.

You know, all the classic signs that you’re into someone.

Just don’t go overkill here. The point is to gently indicate you’re interested, and see if he takes the bait.

Of course, if he’s seeing someone else, maybe nix the flirting and up your confidence instead. Your focus then is on looking as poised as possible.

When all else fails, tell him honestly how you’re feeling.

You’ll need to be careful when it comes to just telling him exactly what you’re feeling. Do it at the wrong time, and you’ll push him far away from you.

So when is the right time, then?

It’s hard to say. We’d personally recommend waiting until you’ve spent awhile talking to him and regaining his trust.

It’s also probably better not to do this if he’s in another relationship. You’d be putting pressure on him to leave his girlfriend, and he probably wouldn’t appreciate that.

In a nutshell, wait until you feel like things are more open between you and confirm that he isn’t seeing someone else first. Then, let him know how you’re feeling.

Don’t push him or urge him to come back. Simply tell him you’d be interested in giving it a second chance and ask him what he thinks.

Consider moving on, as well.

"It will take time, but don't be afraid to give yourself that time."

At the beginning of this guide, we mentioned a few scenarios where he’s probably too far gone for you to reclaim.

It could be because he’s in love with someone else, he’s cut off all communication, or he just doesn’t have feelings for you anymore.

When you run into these types of situations, continuing to push him will send him over the edge.

Your best bet, both for you and for him, is to try and move on, too.

We know it hurts. Letting go isn’t easy, because it would otherwise just be called “dropping,” or something else you can do effortlessly.

It will take time, but don’t be afraid to give yourself that time. Breathe, take it day by day, and eventually you’ll make progress.

Upgrade Your Romance Arsenal with These Tricks

If you’ve decided to move on and get a new man or you need help getting your old one, it never hurts to do a little research. There are love experts out there who have compiled resources to help anyone in the world get the love of their life.

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!