15 Best Ways to Get a Guy to Text You First & Text You Back

Guys are supposed to make the first move, yet, from my experience, it’s clear not all guys are aware. This is the reason you’re wondering how to get a guy to text you first?

Here you will learn some good ways, tricks, and tips on how to get a guy to text you, no matter who texted first.

How to Get a Guy to Text You

Here is the best advice on how to get him to text you.

1. Be Unavailable

Don’t always be available. This doesn’t mean that you should be cold or distant, just hold back a bit, so he has to work for it.

Guys love a challenge, so playing hard to get will definitely make him want you more. If he has to put in a little extra effort to win your affections, it will make him feel like he’s accomplished something. He will appreciate the chase and want you more.

2. Be Desirable

You want to leave a good impression on a guy so he thinks about you and is curious to learn more. Be cool and confident when interacting with him to show that you’re the type of person he would like to be around.

Make sure to look your best. Guys like girls who have style. Wear nice clothing, do your make-up, smell good, and be friendly. This shows that you are putting in the effort. He’ll be intrigued and want to be around you more.

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3. Don’t Text Him First

Do not text immediately. You need to be disciplined here. Wait and you might be surprised. He’ll wonder why he hasn’t heard from you and will probably reach out. Since you have spiked his curiosity he will actually be more interested.

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4. Be Vulnerable

Opening up can sometimes be scary. While making you vulnerable, it also makes you more human and relatable. If a guy sees that you are genuine and honest, he will be more likely to want to get to know you.

Vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to reveal everything about yourself at once. You can share small pieces of information over time as you get to know each other.

5. Be Memorable

Guys like girls who are interesting and engaging. When you have an interaction with a guy, make it count. Talk about your interests, ask him about his likes and dislikes. Give your opinions, especially if they differ from his.

Just have an amazing interaction, every time. This is my top recommendation on how to make a guy text you everyday.

6. Be Playful

Don’t take yourself or your interactions seriously, at least not all the time. With so many dating choices nowadays, guys are looking for someone they can have fun with and let loose with.

Engage in lighthearted banter, be silly, be funny, and be goofy. Tell jokes and don’t be scared to tease him sometimes. This will make him feel comfortable around you and want to be with you more.

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7. Ask Questions

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8. Don’t Be Needy

No one likes a needy person, especially when it comes to relationships. If you’re always texting him first or trying to be around him constantly, he’ll start to feel overwhelmed. Guys need space, just like you do.

If he’s not texting you, don’t get angry or frustrated. Just wait for him to reach out to you instead. If he’s interested, he’ll find a way to make it happen.

Being too clingy or needy will push a guy away, so avoid it at all costs. Focus on your own life and goals and stay busy. Let him come to you.

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9. Tell Him What You Want

Be straightforward and tell him that you want him to text you. He may respect your confidence and follow your wishes.

Putting it out there is sometimes a good idea so there are no misunderstandings. Perhaps he just didn’t know he was supposed to text you. Now, if he doesn’t text you, you know he’s not interested.

10. Create Curiosity Through Social Media

Post shots doing fun activities while hanging out with friends, family, and other guys. Write things that will make him laugh, smile, or feel any emotions.

You want to pique his interest with your social media accounts so you are on his mind. He will start thinking about you and probably end up texting you.

11. Talk on the Phone

Talking on the phone is a great way to get to know someone better and can help build a stronger connection. There’s something extremely intimate about hearing someone’s voice that you can’t get from texting.

Go with the flow and be fun and playful during your conversation. A good interaction will lead to him prioritizing sending you text messages.

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12. Flirt With Him

Flirting with a guy is one of the best ways to get him interested in you. It shows that you are attracted to him and that you’re considering a romantic relationship. If he is interested, he will definitely text you.

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13. Compliment Him

Everybody loves to have their ego stroked. Men especially love it when a woman gives them a compliment, it makes them feel attractive and desired. Giving a guy a compliment will lead to him wanting to interact with you more, which means texting more.

When complimenting, think of some ways that he stands out or something impressive about his personality.

  • “I can see why you are so successful, you really know how to get stuff done.”
  • “You always have such good ideas, I admire that about you.”
  • “You have your own unique style, I love it!”

14. Be Positive

Keep the conversation light and positive. Be kind and genuine. You want him to associate you with good vibes. I recommend always smiling. Whether in person, on a phone call, or through text, when you smile you convey a friendly tone.

15. Mention Plans

A good way to get a guy to text you is to mention doing something together. Suggest going for a drink, having a coffee, or grabbing a bite. If he responds positively and agrees to meet up, he’s interested in getting to know you better.

Give him your number and wait for him to make the next move. He will have to text you to firm up plans.

How to Get Him to Text You First

Here is how to make a guy text you first.

How to Get a Guy to Text You Back

Here’s how to get him to text you back, or how to make him text you first.

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How to Get a Guy to Text You More

The best way to get a guy to text you more is to be desirable, positive, playful, vulnerable, and fun. You may want to mention plans, create curiosity through social media, compliment him, or ask him a question. You could talk on the phone to deepen your connection.


Guys appreciate it when you take the lead in terms of texting. It is a clear sign that you’re interested and that he has the green light to continue the conversation. 

If you’re wondering how to get a guy to text you first without texting him, read our tips and strategies above.

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.