How to Get a Guy to Text You First – 30 Ways That Work Fast!

You want a guy to text you first and get the ball rolling, but he’s not doing it. What should you do? Here are 30 ways that work fast!

How to Get a Guy to Text You

1. Be Yourself

colleagues fun conversation

The easiest way to get someone to do anything is to be yourself. If you try to be someone else, it will show, and the guy will pick up on it. Just relax and be natural; he’ll respond in kind.

If you struggle with being yourself, focus on your interests and the things you like to do. Talk about those topics when you’re around the guy, and he’ll be more likely to text you first. You will begin to feel more comfortable once you start discussing the things that interest you.

He will notice this and want to talk about those things with you if you two share similar interests.

2. Smile

smiling woman in park

A smile is the most beautiful thing you can wear. It’s infectious, and it will make the guy want to text you even more. When you’re happy, it shows in your face, and people can’t help but feel good around you.

3. Don’t Wait Too Long

If you don’t text him back within a couple of hours, he might think that you aren’t interested and move on to someone else. If you wait too long to reply, it will be perceived as rude and uninterested – neither one is good!

4. Be Vulnerable

Opening up is scary for some people, but it makes you more human and relatable. If the guy knows about your insecurities or fears, he’ll want to protect you even more! That’s a powerful emotion that will make him text you first every time.

Vulnerability doesn’t have to be revealing everything about yourself at once. You can share small snippets of information over time and let the guy get to know you better.

5. Be a Great Conversationalist in Person

couples having drinks

If you can keep a conversation going in person, the guy will want to talk to you even more. Guys love girls who are interesting and engaging. When he sees that you’re good at talking to people, he’ll be more likely to text you first!

Conversation starters:

1. What do you like to do for fun?

2. What are your passions?

3. Is Anything new going on in your life lately?

4. Where are you from? What’s it like there/how did you end up here?

5. How was your weekend/day today? Any plans for the future or exciting news to share?

6. What keeps you up at night, even on those hard days?

7. What does an ideal romantic relationship look like for you?

Being a great conversationalist is more than just asking questions. You have to be able to tell stories and share your thoughts. It’s less about the words you’re saying and more about how you say them, the tone of voice, volume, speed, etc.

If he seems like he wants to talk more but doesn’t know what else to ask or say, then take charge of the conversation! It’s okay to steer it in another direction and bring up a different topic. Just be careful not to take control too much, or you might seem like you’re overcompensating for something else.

6. Show Him That You Have Open Body Language

couple misunderstanding

Another way that we communicate with others doesn’t use words at all. Surprisingly, our body language accounts for 70% of our communication. If you make yourself look closed off or cold, it will be hard for a guy to take the interest necessary in order to text you first.

If he’s sitting down when you’re standing up, ask him if he’d like to sit instead so that you can talk more comfortably face-to-face. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, as it will make you look unapproachable.

Instead, try to mirror his body language so that he feels more at ease and opens up around you. This is a nonverbal way of saying, “I’m interested in what you have to say.”

Some other ways you can express warmth with your body language include:

1. Leaning in when he’s talking

2. Making eye contact

3. Smiling often

4. Touching his arm or hand lightly

5. Nodding your head in agreement

All of these things will help the guy feel more comfortable around you, and he will want to text you first.

7. Be Playful

couple enjoys childish game

If you can keep up a bit of lighthearted banter with the guy, it will make him even more interested in texting you first. When we feel like someone is on our level and having fun together, we tend to want them around us all the time!

Playfulness doesn’t have to be sexual or flirty; you can be funny and silly too. It’s all about showing the guy that you’re not just a serious person. Share your goofy side with him and see how he responds.

Some ways you can do this is by telling jokes, being a little bit sarcastic, or even teasing him. Just make sure that you’re doing it in good fun and not crossing any boundaries.

8. Avoid Being Needy

No one likes a needy person, especially when it comes to relationships. If you’re always texting him first or trying to be around him all the time, he’ll start to feel smothered and pull away. Guys need their space just like girls do, so give him some room.

If he’s not texting you, don’t get angry or frustrated. Just take a step back and wait for him to reach out to you instead. If he’s interested, he’ll find a way to make it happen.

Being too available or needy will only push the guy away, so avoid it at all costs. Focus on your own life and goals instead of trying to make him conform to yours.

9. Stay Away From Certain Conversations

couple having a sad conversation


In the beginning, when chatting in person, stay away from topics like bad dates and past relationships. They will turn a guy off in no time flat! If he asks about them, just say something positive like “I can’t wait to find my perfect match” or “All I need is the right person.” Then change the subject quickly.

Save the heavy conversations for later on when you’ve built a stronger relationship with him. He’ll be more likely to open up and share his thoughts if he trusts you enough.

10. Use Social Media To Make Him Curious

One of the best ways to get a guy to message you is by piquing his interest with your social media accounts. In addition to being a great way to keep you on his mind, there are messaging apps like WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger that can be used to contact each other.

Post shots of you doing fun activities or hanging out with friends, as well as written posts that make him laugh or feel something. If you can leave him wanting more, he will find a way to get in touch with you and ask to chat through text.

11. Play Hard to Get

couple workout

Nowadays, guys love a challenge, so playing hard to get will definitely make him want you more. If he has to put in a little extra effort to win your affections, it will make him feel like he’s accomplished something and that you’re worth the chase.

Don’t always be available or give everything away in a conversation when you’re together. This doesn’t mean that you should be cold or withholding, but just hold back a bit, so he has to work for it.

He will appreciate the chase and will want to spend more time getting to know you.

12. Talk on the Phone

female having a phone call

Talking on the phone is a great way to get to know someone better and can help build a stronger connection with him. Plus, there’s something really intimate about hearing someone’s voice that you can’t always get from texting.

If you’ve been talking for a while and he hasn’t asked for your number, you can always offer it to him. This way, he’ll be able to call you whenever he wants, and you can talk without having to worry about messaging back and forth.

Eventually, he will reflect on your wonderful conversations and want to send text messages your way.

13. Make Such an Impression on Him That He Won’t Forget You

If you can leave such an impression on a guy that he’s thinking about you all the time, there will be no way for him to get rid of his feelings.

He’ll want to text you and learn more about what makes you tick, so make sure that every encounter is memorable!

Be confident and upbeat when talking with him and show him that you’re the type of person he would like to be around. You can also consider doing something unique for your appearance, such as dying your hair a different color or wearing something attention-grabbing.

He’ll be intrigued and want to find out more about you, so the texting will commence!

14. Flirt With Him

couple talking at table

Flirting with a guy is one of the best ways to get him interested in you. It shows that you’re attracted to him and are open to getting romantic down the line.

When you’re talking, make sure that your body language is open and inviting (not closed off or standoffish). If he’s in front of you, lean forward slightly and mirror his movements with small nods when he speaks, so it feels like a more intimate encounter.

By sending these signals through physical contact and conversation, he’ll know that you’re interested in him.

You can also use your wit to flirt with him through playful banter and by teasing him in a more lighthearted way. Don’t get too sexual or derogatory, but use humor to make it clear that you like him.

He’ll appreciate the positive attention and will want to keep talking with you, possibly following through with a flirty text himself.

15. Compliment Him

Compliments are a great way to make someone feel good about themselves and will leave them wanting more from you. Men love it when women pay them compliments, as it makes them feel desirable and attractive.

When you’re talking with him, try to think of ways that he stands out or something impressive about his personality. It can be anything from the cool shirt he’s wearing to how attentive he is when listening to your stories.

If there are little things that make him different or interesting, this will leave a big impression on him.

He’ll appreciate the kind words and will want to initiate a text if he likes how sweet you are!

16. Go Out With Him in a Group of Friends

giving high five to male friend

If there’s an event that your crush is attending with his friends, go along for support, but don’t try to steal him away right off the bat. The best way to get a guy’s attention is when he doesn’t feel like you’re chasing after him, so let the situation take its natural course.

Be friendly and approachable in this setting and talk with other people that are there too, rather than focusing all your energy on one person (unless it becomes clear that you guys have chemistry). If he sees you being social and enjoying yourself, he’ll want to come over and say hello.

If things progress from there, you may see a text from him in the next few days.

17. Let Him Know Exactly What You’re Looking For

If you’re open and straightforward about what you want from a guy, this will make him feel more confident as he gets to know you. Letting someone know exactly where they stand is one way of avoiding unnecessary drama or misunderstandings down the line.

When talking with him, let it be known that you’re interested in just getting to know him as a friend for now and that you’re not looking for anything more. This will take any pressure off of him, and he’ll feel less obligated to text you if he’s not interested.

If he is interested, however, he may reach out sooner than later since he knows that you won’t be waiting around forever, and you know what you want.

18. Take a Few Tips from Relationship Blogs and Books

woman reading books

If you want to know how to get a guy to text you first, relationship websites and books are great resources. They offer tips on the best ways of initiating contact with your crush based on their personalities as well as other tried-and-true methods that work like magic (seriously!).

Make sure that these blogs or books aren’t written by people who only claim to be relationship experts and have no real experience in the field. For best results, look for advice from those that show their credentials as well as testimonials from former clients or readers (if applicable).

You can then try out a few of these tips yourself with your crush and see which ones work as they’re intended to.

19. Show Him You’re Such a Guy Magnet

Guys love it when women are in high demand, and this is a quality that they find irresistible.

If you can make it known (in a subtle way) to your crush that other guys are interested in you, he’ll want to step up his game and try harder to get your attention.

One way of doing this is by being friendly with other guys in front of him or when you meet his friends. This signals to him that he has competition, so the more motivated he’ll be to contact you and see if there’s a chance for something between your two.

If this is done right, it will give the impression that you’re a guy magnet without making anyone feel awkward. He will be much more motivated to send a text to you when he knows that he has competition.

20. Let Him Know That Even His Friends Like You

group of friends happy celebration


It’s always a good thing when your crush can see that his friends are just as impressed by you as he is. This will make him feel proud, and it shows that you’re someone worth fighting for.

If one of his buddies already knows who you are, be sure to give them a friendly hello the next time you see them. If his friends are a close-knit group, it’s possible that they’ve already talked about you when you weren’t around.

If he sees you getting along with his buddies and acting friendly towards them, this will give him even more incentive to send a text in order to pursue something serious or casual with you.

21. Gauge His Interest in Texting

If you want to know how to get a guy to text you first, one of the best ways is by gauging his interest in texting. Maybe he’s the kind of guy that doesn’t have any social media accounts and doesn’t regularly text his friends.

If this is the case, you may have to take more initiative and consider texting him first.

On the other hand, if it seems that he’s constantly texting someone on social media or playing with his phone when he could be interacting with others around him, this is an indication that he’s probably going to take the initiative and text you when the time is right for him.

22. Make Plans With Him

couple having fun in couch

If you want to know how to get a guy to text you first, one of the best ways is by making plans with him. This will show that you’re interested in spending time with him, and it’ll make it easier for him to take the plunge and text you.

One way of doing this is by suggesting an activity or event that you think he’ll enjoy. This can be anything from going for coffee to catching a movie.

If he responds positively and agrees to meet up with you, it’s likely that he’s interested in getting to know you better. Give him your number and wait for him to make the next move.

If his response is slow or non-existent, this could mean that he’s not as interested as you thought, and it’s time to move on.

23. Show Him How Much You Like Texting

Guys love it when women have consistent texting habits because this shows that they’re interested in communicating with them.

If you want to know how to get a guy to text you first, then one of the best ways is by showing him just how much you enjoy sending messages back and forth via text.

Let him know that you like sending cute pictures, jokes, and motivational quotes. This will give him more incentive to pursue you and see if there’s a chance for some great texting sessions in the near future.

24. Don’t Put So Many Rules on Your Relationship

couple in argument

If you want to know how to get a guy to text you first, then it’s important that you don’t put too many rules on your potential relationship.

This is because guys love the thrill of feeling free and like there is spontaneity when they’re getting to know a new person. If you’re too overbearing too soon, he will lose interest over time.

Let him know that you’re not the type of girl who is going to constantly text him and demand that he responds immediately.

Be understanding if he’s busy with work or other things in his life. Most women put a lot of pressure on men in this way and push them into heavy emotional conversations.

If you can make it clear that you’re a low-maintenance kind of girl, he’ll be much more likely to want to text you first. A guy likes a woman who is a challenge.

25. Give Him Great Advice

Try to be helpful and supportive when you’re chatting with your guy.

Not only can this make it easier for him to feel comfortable around you, but he’ll also admire your willingness to be there for him when he needs support and wisdom.

If he’s having relationship problems with friends or is struggling at work, show that you want nothing more than to help him out.

The more you can make him feel like he needs and wants you in his life, the more likely it is that he’ll text you first. Such guys usually make the best partners.

26. Dress Your Best Around Him

happy couple enjoying each other

If you’re wondering exactly what is it that makes a man reach out to a woman, take a peek into human psychology. When we see each other, we have a first impression of what the other person is like.

Dressing your best around him will show that you’re interested in getting closer with him and are willing to put effort into building something meaningful together. He will remember how cute you looked the next time he thinks about texting you.

You can play up your look by wearing a nice pair of earrings or cute high heels. Guys are always attracted to great fashion sense, so it’s never a bad idea to have this in your back pocket if you want him to text you first. A great perfume, lotion, or body wash is another way to have the thought of you lingering on his mind.

27. Be Kind and Genuine

We are naturally attracted to others who are kind and have positive vibes. Letting your guy know that you’re a kind and genuine person will make it much more likely for him to text you first the next time he’s just sitting around at home.

28. Friend Him On Other Apps

If you want to know how to get a guy to text you first, then one of the best things that you can do is friend him on other apps. This means that you’ll be at the top of his notification list, and he won’t be able to ignore your messages very easily.

It’s always a good idea to have multiple forms of communication with a guy that you’re considering dating.

That’s because there are times when he might not be ready to text, and having other options will make it easier for him to get in touch with you.

29. Send Him an Email

woman in bed with a laptop

Sometimes, a guy will prefer to have an email conversation with you instead of going through the hassle of starting up a texting session.

If that’s the case, then it could be worth your while to send him an email when you want to ask him out or get in touch for another reason.

Email is a less intimate form of communication, so it can be a good option if you want to start testing the waters with each other before going straight into texting.

30. Text Him Yourself

It can be a good idea to wait for a guy friend to text you, but all these changes when you choose to reach out first. If you’re the one who initiates an interesting conversation with him, he will see you as a confident and independent woman.

He’ll realize that you’re going to go for what you want, and since most women can be timid in this way, you will stand out from the rest.

It’s almost 100% guaranteed that you’ll get a text back when you’re the one who starts the conversation.

So, if you’re looking to encourage his texting habits and get him to reach out to you fast, this is your best bet.

Do Guys Want You to Text First?

male with headphones sitting on bench


You may be wondering whether or not a guy prefers you to text first. When you’re just beginning to get to know each other, it can be hard to know the right time to reach out.

Generally speaking, a guy will appreciate it when you take the lead in terms of texting. He’ll see it as a sign that you’re interested in him and want to keep the conversation going.

This is because most guys typically want to have a woman who is more forward and confident.

Texting him first can help you show that bold side of yourself off, which will make it much more likely for him to text back the next time he’s at home without anything else going on.

If you’re considering texting a guy first, make sure to choose a time when you’re feeling relaxed and positive to reach out. This will help to ensure that the conversation goes smoothly, and he’ll be more likely to respond.

Make sure to keep your first message short and sweet if you don’t want to come on too strong. Guys like text messages that are straightforward and to the point, so it’s best not to ramble on too much when you’re trying to get a response from him.

Best Times To Text A Guy

The best time to text a guy is when you know he is available. If you know that he works weekends, try to send him a text message at midday during the week. If he works a traditional 9 to 5, then you can reach out any time in the evening before he goes to bed.

It’s nearly impossible to know another person’s schedule, even if you think you have a good idea of what it is. So, if you’re not sure when the best time to text him is, just go for it and shoot him a message!

You can always adjust your timing depending on his response, as well as ask him what his preferences are for text timing.

How Long Does It Take for Him to Text Back?

sitting worried female

You may also wonder how long it takes a guy to text back once you’ve reached out. This can have a wide range, but there are some general rules of thumb that you can follow.

If you text him during the day, he will most likely respond within a few hours. If you text him at night, he may get back to you sooner since he won’t be in school or working and is more likely to be checking his phone.

If you text him later than 9 or 10 in the evening, you may not hear back from him until the following morning.

There are so many other factors to take into account, so don’t get too worried if you don’t hear back in the above timeframe.

He may be particularly busy with other activities in his life or simply not a big texting person in general.

It may be true that he’s not texting you back because he’s not interested anymore, but there’s no reason to jump to conclusions. Give him an ample amount of time to respond.

If it’s been a few days and you haven’t heard from him, you can ask him directly if he’s been busy or if there’s a reason why he hasn’t replied.

Why Does He Always Reply but Never Text First?

Does your guy text you when you reach out but never initiate a conversation? This can be frustrating, especially when you want to get closer to him.

It’s possible that he likes your company and looks forward to hearing from you, but doesn’t always know what to say first. If this is the case, make sure to reply back in a friendly way, so it encourages him to text next time around!

He also may worry that initiating text messages will come off as too forward, so he prefers to wait for you to get in touch with him.

If this is the case, it’s important not to take his lack of response personally. He may be shy and nervous about being assertive when trying to communicate with you.

Finally, it’s possible that he isn’t wanting the same thing as you and doesn’t want to text you more often. If this is the case, consider moving on from him or asking him whether or not he is interested in texting with you moving forward.

How Do I Stop Texting Him First?

walking all alone in the snow


If you find yourself always being the one to text first, it can be difficult to know when to stop. You may start to feel like you’re too invested in the relationship, and he’s not doing enough to make an effort.

There are a few things that you can do if this is the case:

1. Talk to him about your concerns. Let him know that you’re feeling like you’re doing all the work and would appreciate it if he stepped up his game a bit.

2. Reduce how often you text him. If he’s not making an effort, there’s no need to bombard him with messages every day. Try to space them out a bit, so he has a chance to respond.

3. Stop texting him altogether. If he’s not reciprocating, it may be time to move on. This can be difficult, but sometimes it’s the best thing for both of you.

There are a number of things that you can do if you find yourself in this situation if you’re well prepared.

Just make sure to communicate with your guy and figure out what will make both of you happy.

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!