How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out (21 Secret Techniques)

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Many girls wonder how to get a guy to ask them out. This is not an easy task, but there are some steps that you can take in order to increase your chances of getting him to make a move. Here are our top 21 secret techniques!

21 Ways To Get a Guy Friend Ask You Out

1. Make It Obvious That You Like Him

woman smiling back

The first step to getting a guy to ask you out is for him to know that you are interested.

This will increase the chances of an interaction between the two of you and may ultimately lead to a date.

You can make it obvious that you are interested in several different ways. You could let him know by flirting with him and dropping hints to let him know that you’re available.

This can be done in person, through a text, or even by liking his posts on social media. Choose the method that you feel most comfortable with.

2. Use Your Body Language

Body language is a powerful way to communicate with others and can be used to show a guy that you’re interested.

Make sure to have open body language where you face him during conversations and actively listen while making direct eye contact. Some other great tips are to smile gently and nod to show him that you’re interested in what he has to say.

If you’re sitting next to him, touch his arm or knee lightly when you talk to him for an added boost of attraction. Getting physically closer to him is a great way to plant the idea of a first date in his mind.

Make sure that you read his body language as well. This will help you to determine if he is interested and whether or not you should make the next move.

Be respectful of his personal space and notice if he seems to be moving away from you. This is a sign that your advances may not be welcome, so back off for now. It’s important that both of you feel comfortable if you want the relationship to progress.

3. Attract Him Physically

woman flirting on a boat

If you’re wondering how to get a guy to ask you out, remember that your appearance plays a large role in this guy finding you attractive. Put a little bit of extra effort into your style, hairdo, and makeup if you wear it.

This will help you to stand out from other women and make you more memorable to him.

You can dress in a traditionally attractive manner or try to go for an eclectic look so that you feel confident and unique when around him. Sometimes even a small accessory, such as a pair of flattering earrings, can make a huge difference.

Make sure to dress up in a way that makes you feel good, not in a way that you think that he will like you. This will make it more natural and real, which is what guys want anyway!

It will also help to reduce relationship problems when you’re looking good for yourself, not to get a particular guy’s attention.

4. Be Interesting

Guys are attracted to interesting girls. If you can hold his attention and keep him engaged in conversation, he will be more likely to ask you out.

This means that you should avoid boring topics and find ways to make your conversations stimulating. Don’t talk too much about the weather, where you live, or what you do for a living.

Try to make your conversations more interesting by talking about yourself, but not in an egotistical way. You can steer the conversation the right way by asking really interesting questions that require more than a yes or no answer.

For example, you can ask: “What’s your favorite thing about your job and your least favorite thing about your job?”

You can also ask him questions that make him speculate on his future, such as “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

This will help him to see that you’re interested in who he is as a person, not just what he can do for you.

Don’t be shy and make sure to answer these questions, and be generous with your own stories and insights.

This will give your guy a taste of what it will be like to go out on a date with you.

5. Be Flirty

woman flirting in the office

Being flirty with your guy is a great way to show him that you like him and encourage him to ask you out.

You can be subtle about it by laughing at his jokes, briefly touching him, or giving him an interested and slightly mischievous look.

If he responds positively to your flirting, this will encourage him and build up the confidence that you’re interested in going out with him.

You can also be more direct by saying something like, “I think we’d have a lot of fun on our first date.” This shows him that you are willing to make the first move, which will impress him.

Suppose he seems uncomfortable with your flirting, back off and try again later when you’re getting along better. It’s important not to overdo this. He may see it as a red flag if you come on too strong.

6. Let Him Know What Your Interests Are

Do you love to ski? Do you like to play chess in your spare time? Is there a park nearby that you take daily walks at? Let him know!

If you’re wondering how to get a guy to ask you out, then it’s important that you let him know what your interests are. This helps him to decide if you’re both interested in the same things and makes it easier for him to think of things to talk about with you.

Don’t overdo it and chat with him about everything you’ve ever done, but definitely make an effort to let him know your favorite activities and what makes you happiest.

It also shows that you’re a well-rounded person with many interests, which is attractive to most guys. He will start wondering if going on a date is a good idea and may even ask you out!

7. Ask Him What He Likes to Do

couple playing with a dog



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Additionally, it’s important to learn about what this guy likes as well. Perhaps he loves taking his dog on walks and camping trips, or maybe he is more of a homebody and loves to watch movies.

Get an idea of what he likes so you can be prepared for future conversations and possible dates.

This also helps if you’re not sure how to get a guy to ask you out. You can let him know that you have some mutual interests as well.

You can also offer him help. For example, if he’s telling you how much he loves spending time with his dog, but he’s too busy to let it out at lunchtime, you could offer to take his dog out for him.

This will show that you’re a good person and that he can trust you to take care of something important to him, which is really attractive.

8. Let Him Know You Want to Go On a Date

This one sounds very direct, but there are many subtle ways you can bring this topic up. You don’t have to directly ask, “Hey! Let’s go on a date!” You can make it subtle and indirect so that there isn’t any confrontation or pressure.

You could say something like, “Geeze, it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date. I’m ready to get back into the rhythm of it!”

This shows him that you’re excited to go on a date and you’re confident enough in yourself to let him know. If he likes you, this will make him more likely to ask you out!

You can even be more subtle by saying something like, “I would love the opportunity to get out with someone fun and laid back the next time I take a hike. Let me know if you know anyone that’s interested.”

He may respond by letting you know that he is interested! This method works great because you may get a very fast response since you’re talking directly about your interest in dating.

9. Have Your Friends Help Drop a Hint

couple talking by a window

If you have mutual friends, you can ask them to help with this. Tell your friend that you like their friend and would love for him to ask you out in the future.

You could say something like: “I really like this cute guy and would love for him to ask me out. Can you let him know that I’m free this upcoming Friday night?”

The benefit of having a friend ask him is that it doesn’t come off as you being super direct. If he likes you, this will definitely make him ask you out. If not, you’ve saved yourself from an embarrassing moment.

You can also ask your mutual friends for relationship advice. They may know this guy better than you do and can give you some insight on whether or not he would be interested in dating you.

10. Don’t Be Too Pushy

It’s important to remember that if you’re too pushy, a guy may not feel comfortable asking you out.

Some pushy examples are: asking him out on a date every day, always initiating the conversation with him, or telling him how you feel about his feelings for you before he has made any moves.

If you’re acting too aggressive and forcing yourself upon this guy, he may not be interested in dating at all.

It’s okay to let it slip that you’re interested in him, but it’s important to let the relationship develop on its own.

Make sure that he is initiating conversations with you, too, and ask if your behavior seems pushy at all.

If this guy isn’t into dating, then there are many other cute guys out there! He isn’t necessarily the one guy in the whole wide world for you. Take the higher road and give this guy some space if he’s not interested.

If he’s not asking, it could be because he isn’t ready for anything serious right now. Being patient and waiting for him to come around this can really show that you’re mature enough to handle the possible outcome of things just staying friends.

11. Show Him Your Sense of Humor

couple laughing

Guys love a girl that can make them laugh. If you can show him your funny side, he will definitely be interested in getting to know you better.

You could share a funny story with him or even just send him a funny meme that you think he would enjoy.

If he sees that you have a good sense of humor and that you’re funny, he will definitely feel more comfortable asking you out on a date. Guys find humor to be a great way to relate to women that are laid back and genuine.

It will also put him at ease and make him feel less intimidated by you overall so that he will feel confident when wooing you.

12. Plan a Group Event

A great way to begin to make a guy think about you is to plan a group event. This could be something as simple as going out to dinner or even playing some sports together.

If you introduce him to your friends and show him that you can have a great time together, he will definitely appreciate you and want to continue spending time with you.

By planning group events, he may start thinking about what it would be like if the two of you were able to have one on one time.

When you’re out with your guy and a group, make sure to personally touch in with him. Ask him how he’s doing, playfully bump into him, and feel free to flirt with him if the timing seems right.

This is a great way to move things in the right direction and let him know that you two can have a special bond, even if you’re hanging out in a group setting. Just be sure to give him some eye contact from time to time.

Ask your friends to put in a good word for you as well. For example, a mutual friend could let him know how much fun you are to hang out with and how great it is to get to know you. For a more daring approach, you could have a friend say that you and your guy would make a cute couple.

13. Show Him That You’re Confident

couple smiling at each other

There is nothing a guy likes more than a confident girl that isn’t afraid to express her point and is honest about her feelings.

If you show him that you’re confident in yourself, he will not only feel more comfortable around you but also be able to relax and even open up about himself.

Be honest with your guy if something is bothering or upsetting you so that he knows where the two of you stand with one another. This will allow him to get to know you on a deeper level and feel like he can trust you.

He will be more clear about your status and have more confidence himself to ask you out.

14. Find a Mutual Hobby

It’s important to have some things in common with the guy you are trying to go on a date with. This could be a game you both like, a physical activity like hiking, or a cultural similarity like enjoying the same music or movies.

If he knows that the two of you have a mutual interest, it can give him confidence and make him feel more comfortable asking you out on a date because he feels like he already has something in common with you.

You can directly ask him about his hobbies to find a match, without being too overt about wanting to go on a date. If he mentions that he likes something that you are also interested in, you can say something like, “That’s great! Maybe we can go do that together sometime.”

This is a good way to subtly get the message across and let him know you’re interested in getting to know him better. If he shares something with you, ask for more details about it or share your own stories related to what he said.

You can also let him know if you have a certain advantage, such as the ability to get free concert tickets at a specific venue that you work for. This helps to set up a future date without all of the pressure.

15. Find Something New You Both Want to Try

Another exciting way to have fun at the same time is by trying something new together. Maybe you’ve both been paying attention to the Olympics and want to try some of the sports yourselves. Or, you could be interested in learning a new language, and he’s up for the challenge too.

If there is something that both of you have been wanting to do, go for it! This will create an opportunity for fun memories together, as well as give him something else to talk about with you.

Not only will this help to solidify your friendship, but it could also be the beginning of something more if he starts to see that you are a compatible match for him.

If there is chemistry, he will eventually ask you out on a romantic date after you’ve enjoyed some new activities together.

16. Let Him Know Your Availability

couple making a salad

Sometimes guys find it hard to ask a girl out because they aren’t sure when she will be free. It can be hard to tell the difference between a busy schedule and straight-out rejection, so this may discourage him from asking at all, especially if he is shy.

You can help to take the pressure off of him by letting him know your availability. This can be done in a number of ways, such as putting it on social media, sending him a text, or even mentioning it in conversation.

This will help to eliminate any confusion and show that you are interested in going out with him. You can say something like, “It’s going to be a really busy week for me, but I’m so glad that I’ll have some free time the following week. I want to think of something fun to do!”

This lets him know when is the best time to ask you out and gives him some clarity so he can hopefully ask you on that first date.

17. Let Him Know That Other Men Are Interested

Some men need the motivation to know that other guys are interested in you before they have the guts to ask you out. This is because they know they don’t have a lot of time to think about it if they feel like they are competing with other men.

You can help him feel confident by letting him know that there are other guys who like you. This could be done subtly or overtly, depending on your relationship with him.

You could say something like, “It’s so funny because Jake told me he was interested in going on a hike with me yesterday. I’m not really interested in him, but I’m thinking about going. There aren’t many other interesting offers on the table.”

If there is chemistry between the two of you, this will encourage him to ask you out so he can compete for your attention. It also shows that you are confident and have a lot of options when it comes to dating.

18. Don’t Be Just Friends & Stay Out of the Friend Zone

couple having breakfast at home

It can be very easy to fall into the friend zone with a guy, but it’s important to avoid this at all costs. If you only see him as your friend and nothing more, he won’t feel like there is any chance for romance between the two of you.

To avoid the friend zone, it’s important to let him know that you are interested in dating him. You can do this by flirting with him, being touchy-feely, and spending time one-on-one.

Don’t encourage him to talk about other girls or come to you with relationship advice. This is a clear sign that things are platonic between the two of you, so he may think that your only interest is friendship.

19. Don’t Act Desperate 

One of the worst things you can do when trying to get a guy to ask you out is to act desperate. This will turn him off and make him think that you have no other options.

It’s important to stay confident and positive, even if he hasn’t asked you out yet. You don’t need to be glued to his side or constantly text him. Let him know that you are busy and have a life outside of your relationship with him.

20. Don’t Take His Rejection Personally

couple on cute outfits

It happens to all of us. Sometimes, he’s just not that into you and won’t end up asking you on a date. It’s important not to let this get to you and instead move on.

The irony is that, by moving on, you increase the chances of him asking you out in the future.

Perhaps the only way for him to realize that he wants you is by stepping away and thinking about what he is missing.

21. Let Him Know You Think He’s a Cute Guy

When guys feel attractive and know that you think they’re cute, they’re much more likely to make a move.

Tell him that you think he’s good-looking and that you enjoy spending time around him.

Complimenting his appearance will not only make him feel good, but it will also show that you are interested in more than just his personality.

It can be a subtle way of letting him know that you want to take your relationship to the next level.

What to Text Him to Get Him to Ask You Out?

Here are some fun and flirty texts you can send to your special guy to encourage him to ask you out:

1. “I know the perfect spot to watch the sunset. Would you like to join me?”

2. “Do you want to visit that new coffee shop today? They’re having a sale until noon.”

3. “Didn’t we have so much fun on our last hike together? I’d love to do it again soon.”

4. “You’re really a sweet guy. I would love to get to know you a little more.”

5. “I’ve been wanting to see a movie for the longest time. I don’t like going alone, though…hopefully, someone is free!”

6. “What are you up to this weekend? Hopefully, you have some fun plans. I’m looking for something exciting to do myself!”

Texts like these will make him think about you and your relationship in a romantic way.

He’ll feel more confident asking if he has an excuse to chat with you again, which is the first step towards getting asked out!