How to Forget Your Ex Boyfriend Fast (10 Ways)

Wondering how to get your ex-boyfriend back fast? You’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll explore how to rekindle a past relationship and get your ex to want to spend time with you again.

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Table of Contents

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Fast

It can take a lot of time and effort to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend, but it’s so worth it if you’re looking for a serious relationship that can last a long time. Here are the most effective tips for getting your ex-boyfriend back fast and making him yours again!

1. Take a Break and Follow the No Contact Rule

walking while listening on earphones

It can be a sudden transition to go from spending all of your free time with someone to being completely cut off. It can be so painful that it creates a physically painful response. The shock will likely feel incredibly intense, but it’s very important to take some space after a breakup.

The no contact rule exists for a reason, and it allows both parties to cool off and gain some perspective without distractions or conflicts.

During this time, you should take a break from all communication with your ex-boyfriend. This includes texting, calling, social media, and in-person interactions. Give him the space he needs to figure out what he wants without any outside pressure from you.

The no-contact rule is one of the most important steps in getting your ex-boyfriend back fast and making him miss you more than ever before. When following it, be sure not to try any sneaky tricks like hiding out behind bushes or stalking his every move on social media.

These things may seem harmless, but they’re actually harmful to your chances of rekindling a past relationship because they’re signs that you aren’t willing to respect his privacy.

If you’re struggling with respecting the space between you and your ex, there are a few things you can do that will help to stop you from reaching for the phone or heading over to his house.

It may be a good idea to remove his number from your phone. This way, there will be fewer chances of you impulsively reaching out to him when you’re lonely at night, have had a few cocktails, or are feeling down about yourself. Keep his number written down in a safe space or in an email or word doc for when you’re ready to resume communication again.

You can also consider blocking him temporarily on your phone. This will not only prevent you from reaching out, but you won’t sit there wondering whether or not he has messaged you, since they won’t come through.

Don’t forget about other communication platforms like social media! If you’re struggling to stay away from Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, consider deleting the apps from your phone or taking a break from them altogether.

This way, you’ll be less likely to stalk his profile or post any passive-aggressive comments about him in your stories.

It’s important to talk to him about this space during or near the breakup. If the breakup was too nasty, it may be challenging to make plans for the future, such as taking a break from communicating.

However, if the breakup is somewhat calm, it’s best to mention to him that you will be giving both of you some space. He may be a fan of the no contact rule as well, and it will make the breakup less confusing and overwhelming.

Next, you’ll need to determine how long you would like the space to be for. At the very least, take a week off before you talk again. If the relationship was particularly stressful, it may be helpful to take up to a month off from communication.

This is an especially good idea if you two have been off and on for a while, and know that short breaks don’t really work.

Since you want to get your ex-boyfriend back quickly, taking space for 1-2 weeks is a good length of time.

Keep in mind he may reach out to you during this time as well! While this may make you weak in the knees and ready to abandon the no-contact rule, it’s important that you stay strong. It may be a huge mistake to cave in and talk to him during this time.

Remember that the more committed you are to this break, the more your ex-boyfriend will realize how much he misses you and wants you back in his life.

All of these things may seem difficult in the moment, but it’s important to remember that the no-contact rule will ultimately help you get your ex-boyfriend back fast. Think of it as taking a few steps backward so you can sprint forward. This break will help to shake loose many of the negative emotions that the two of you have built for each other.

2. Reflect on Why You Two Broke Up

Now that you are taking a break from the relationship, it’s a perfect time for you to review what has happened. When you’re out of the relationship and looking in, you get a bird’s-eye view that may catch several issues you didn’t notice when you were in the thick of it.

having coffee while looking outside

Take some time to look over what happened between you and your ex-boyfriend that led him to dump you. Reflect on whether you were the one who initiated the breakup, or if he was. If possible, try not to assign blame for now but simply reflect upon why things didn’t work out with this person you once loved.

Once you have a general understanding of why things ended, it will be much easier for you to work on fixing them.

It’s not about making excuses for your past behavior, but simply acknowledging where things went wrong so that you don’t make the same mistakes again.

Here are some helpful questions you can ask yourself that can clarify what happened and how you feel:

What Were Some of the Major Problems in the Relationship? 

It is helpful to make a list of the major problems in your relationship. This can include anything from not spending enough time together to cheating allegations.

Once you have a comprehensive list, try to group them based on common themes. Doing this will help you understand where the majority of the issues were occurring.

For example, if fighting was a constant issue, you may need to work on your communication skills. If you felt neglected, then he may need to start putting in more effort to make you feel special.

How Did I Contribute to the Problems?

asking for forgiveness

It is not always easy to admit that we have faults in our relationships, but it’s important if you want things to improve.

This is especially true when working to get your ex-boyfriend back fast. If you can take responsibility for your actions, it will make him more willing to forgive you as well.

While there are some instances where taking full blame is not necessary (like if he cheated on you) it’s important that you own up to the ways you may have contributed to the breakup.

Doing this will help you work on those issues so they don’t arise again in your future relationships.

What Could I Have Done Differently?

This question is a difficult but necessary one to ask yourself if you want to get your ex-boyfriend back fast. It can be very helpful to think of the things you could have done differently.

Although it may be painful, this can help you work on your own issues so that they don’t arise in future relationships. It is also a good way for you to understand what he might expect from his next girlfriend as well.

Did You Feel Like You Had to Change Who You Were for Him? 

One of the biggest red flags in any relationship is when one person starts to change who they are. This is often a sign that the other person is not happy with them for who they are and wants them to be someone else.

If you felt like you had to change yourself to make him happy, it’s likely that he will want you to change in the future as well. If he wants someone different than who you are, then it may be best for both of you to move on.

Do You Think He Was Ever Really Committed to You? 

Relationships take two people for them to be successful. If one person is not fully committed, it will eventually lead to a breakup.

It’s important that you know whether or not he was ever really committed to your relationship in order for you to decide if getting back together with him is the best decision.

What Is My Attachment Style? 

Your attachment style can play a big role in whether or not your ex-boyfriend wants to get back together with you. There are three types of attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant.

The way you interact with your partner will depend on which type of attachment style you have. Some attachment styles are more compatible than others. If you realize that you have different styles, it may be necessary for both people to do some reading or get help from a therapist or counselor.

How Do You Feel About Yourself After the Breakup? 

It is important to ask yourself how you feel about yourself after the breakup. If there was pain and sadness, then it may be a sign that he meant more to you than just a fling or something casual.

On the other hand, if you realized that your life would probably be better without him in it then maybe getting back together isn’t the best idea.

You will also want to assess your self-esteem and self-confidence at this point. Did the breakup leave you feeling down on yourself? If so, you will want to work on building that back up before getting back into a relationship.

What Are You Willing to Do to Make Things Right? 

Getting back together isn’t an idea, it’s an action. So it’s important for you to establish what you’re willing to do to improve upon the previous relationship. Ask yourself, what do you need for your own happiness and emotional support.

Try to think from your ex-boyfriend’s perspective. What were things that put him in a bad mood? What were the same mistakes you made? Try to understand what he is thinking, and then try to act on that thought process instead of your own thoughts.

Make a list of things you can do to make things right with your ex-boyfriend, and then try to do those things. You can present these positive changes to him later on when you’re talking again and working on reconciling the relationship.

What Do You Need Your Ex-boyfriend to Do? 

Now that you’ve thought about what you’re willing to offer in the relationship, it’s important to decide what you would like in return. Remember that relationships aren’t transactional, so it’s important not to just ask him for things just because you’re making changes.

Some things you may want your ex to do are apologize for his actions, spend more time with you, or make an effort to be more communicative. It’s important that both parties feel like they are getting something out of the relationship, or it will eventually fall apart again.

Are You Willing to Forgive and Forget? 

One of the biggest things you need to ask yourself before getting back together with your ex is if you’re willing to forgive and forget. This means that you’re both going to have to move on from the past and not bring up things that have already been resolved.

It’s also important to be able to accept his apology, even if you don’t feel like it’s genuine.

What Are the Parts of Your Relationship Worth Fighting For?

This is probably one of the most important questions to ask yourself before getting back together with your ex. It’s also one that you need to be completely honest about, even if it hurts a little bit.

In order for your relationship to work again, there needs to be something worth fighting for. Do you still love each other the way that you used to? Do you still appreciate the things that made you fall in love with your ex-boyfriend in the first place?

touching pen on her face

If so, then there is a good chance that your relationship can be saved. Take the time to think about or write down these characteristics so that you have them for easy reference as you work your way through the process of getting back together.

They can help you to feel motivated, encouraged, and purposeful with continuing and fighting for the relationship.

3. Ask Yourself Why You Want Him Back

Now that you have taken time to reflect on your past relationship, it’s time to ask yourself why you want him back. There are probably a lot of reasons for this but one of the most common is that you still love him and have feelings for him.

Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to know why you want him back so that you can have an idea of what steps need to be taken next and how much effort will go into getting back together.

You should also ask yourself if you are ready to re-enter a relationship with him and what kind of changes will have to be made in order for it to work this time around. In other words, do your best not to repeat previous mistakes that may have been the reason why things didn’t work out before!

A visualization is a powerful tool that can help you get crystal clear on how you want the relationship to look. Remember that vague intentions will get vague results. If you want a serious relationship and to turn this situation around, you will need to be very honest about what you want it to look like.

Practicing visualizations is a great way to get clear on your goals, and it can also help increase the chances of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend. It is similar to the process of mediation.

Here are some steps you can take to help you get started:

  • Get clear on the outcome that you want. Make sure this is something realistic, such as him apologizing and spending more time with you.
  • Go into a relaxing and safe space where you will have privacy for the visualization. Give yourself between 15 minutes to an hour for this practice. Get settled into a comfortable position so that you don’t fidget or feel pain in your body.
  • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in and out. This will help to relax your mind and body.
  • Picture yourself and your ex-boyfriend in the situation that you desire. See him apologizing and being remorseful for his past actions.
  • Watch as the two of you share happy moments together, free from any arguments or negative feelings. Feel what it would be like to have this relationship back again.
  • When you’re finished, take a few more deep breaths in and out. Then, open your eyes and write down anything you saw or felt during the visualization.

This information can be used as a guide to help you achieve this outcome in real life! If possible, practice several times per day so that it becomes easier for you to visualize the situation happening.

4. Stop Blaming Him (And Yourself) For What Happened

arms crossed with boyfriend sitting

It can be easy to blame your ex or yourself for what happened in the past. However, this is not going to help you get back together with your ex-boyfriend.

It’s important that you’re able to let go of any resentment and anger about what went wrong so that it doesn’t affect a possible reconnection in the future.

There are many reasons why we blame relationship problems on others, and most of them stem from childhood. How you were conditioned in the home, school, and in early friendships often plays into how you behave and react in adult, romantic relationships.

If your parents were strict and controlling, or if they had an unhealthy relationship with each other, it can be easy to take those feelings out on someone else as an adult because that is what we learned from them when we were growing up.

We don’t always realize this until after the fact, but it’s important to be mindful of our past experiences and how they may be affecting our current relationships.

It is possible to change the way you think and behave in order for things to work out this time around. However, it will require some effort on your part. In order to do this, you need to become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and then make a conscious decision to change them.

This is not going to be easy, but it is definitely worth the effort! Simply realizing how we unconsciously assign blame can help you to let go of some of that anger and resentment.

When you’re ready, start by forgiving yourself for any role you may have played in the break-up. Then, forgive your ex-boyfriend as well. This doesn’t mean that you have to forget what happened or become friends again, but it does mean that you are releasing the negative feelings between the two of you.

5. Work on Your Self Esteem

having trouble sleeping in bed

After a breakup, it’s common to feel pretty crummy. This could manifest as a lack of confidence, low self-esteem, or even depression. You may find yourself spending more time alone than usual and having trouble sleeping well at night because all you can think about is what went wrong with your relationship.

This is no way to live a life which means it’s important that we address these issues as soon as possible. There are several things you can do to boost your mood and make yourself feel special. Overall, aim for making yourself the priority in your life in order to build self-respect.

This may sound counterintuitive if you’re trying to get back into your relationship and prioritize your ex-partner. However, it’s important to realize that we are more attractive to others when we take the time to work on ourselves.

You can start by working on your self-esteem in a few easy steps:

Do Some Mindful Journalling

The first step is to think about what you like about yourself and write it down. Make sure to be specific and list as many things as possible. It can be anything from your sense of humor to the fact that you’re an amazing friend, to the way you always put others first.

Once you have a good list going, start writing down how you feel when you do these things. Do you feel happy? Proud? Connected to others in some way? Make sure that you really get into these feelings and spend time thinking about them.

The next step is to look for areas where your self-esteem could use a boost. We all have things we like and dislike about ourselves, so it’s important that we are able to accept those parts of us as well.

Start by writing down a list of things that you don’t like about yourself, then write down how those qualities make you feel. Are they negative? Uncomfortable? Ashamed?

Once you have your lists, it’s time to start changing the way you think about them. If you can find a more positive way to view your negative qualities, you will be able to accept them and move on with your life.

Take Time for Yourself

smiling wearing karate uniform

It’s important that we take the time to do things that make us feel good about ourselves. This could be anything from going for a walk in nature or taking up a new hobby like painting, journaling, yoga – the possibilities are endless!

When we take the time to do things that make us happy, it has a ripple effect and helps us to feel better in other areas of our lives as well.

If you’re having a hard time thinking of something to do to make you happy, think about what has worked in the past. What did you do to feel good before the relationship? What was your favorite hobby as a child?

Take some time to reconnect with yourself and find something that you enjoy doing for no other reason than because it makes you happy.

Set New Goals

feeling good all by her self

After a breakup, it’s easy to feel aimless. Perhaps everything you planned in your life was dependent on your partner and his needs as well. This can make you feel like you don’t have anything else to work towards in life and can lead to a feeling of hopelessness.

To combat this, try setting some new goals for yourself. Write down everything that you want to accomplish in the next year or so, both big and small. Once you have your list written out, start working on them right away.

A good way to start is by setting some simple goals for yourself. Maybe you want to try meditating every day or read at least one book per month. Whatever it is, make sure that it will be something you enjoy doing so you can get the most out of this experience!

If you need some help setting goals, here are a few tips:

  • Be specific with your goal: “I want to lose weight” isn’t as powerful as “I want to lose 15 pounds in the next three months”.
  • Make sure it’s measurable: How will you know if your goal has been achieved?
  • Set a deadline for yourself: This will ensure that there isn’t any “wiggle room” when it comes time to work towards achieving this goal.

If things aren’t working out as planned, don’t be afraid to adjust your goal.

When you do achieve your goals, take some time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished and give yourself credit for it!

Improve Your Home Environment

having plants inside her home

Your home is where you spend most of your time, so it’s important that it feels like a place you want to be. If there are any negative feelings associated with your home, such as anger or sadness, take steps now to change those associations.

This may mean redecorating one room at a time or rearranging furniture so that your home feels more spacious. If you live with someone else, ask them if they’d like to help too!

Giving your home a fresh look will make it feel more inviting when guests come over or when you’re having alone time in your own personal space. Plus, this gives you an opportunity to get creative and add your own personal touch to your home.

If there are any inspirational or motivational decorations or materials you can add to your personal space to improve your mood, do it now. Print out some positive quotes, buy a new plant, or put up some artwork that you love.

Give Yourself a Makeover

having good time with makeover

When you get a makeover, it can change your entire perspective and the way others see you. You may not realize how much of an impact this has until after getting your new look! And since we’re already talking about changes in appearance that affect people’s perceptions of us, why not do something like cut our hair short or dye it a new color?

There are no rules when it comes to a makeover – just go with what feels right for you. If you want to try something completely different, go for it! But if you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of resources out there to help you. YouTube is a great place to find makeup tutorials and hair inspiration.

Even if it’s a small change, like changing your nail polish or getting highlights in your hair, this will make you feel better about yourself and can help boost confidence levels. You can also buy a new outfit as well if that feels right. Other people will compliment you as well, providing you with an additional confidence boost.

Make sure not to do anything too drastic when getting ready for your makeover. You want it to be a positive experience that makes you feel better, not one where you end up regretting what happened afterward.

Get Into, Books, Podcasts, Etc

reading book in library

There is a lot of great content out there that is designed specifically to help you feel better about yourself. A motivational book may be a great idea if you’re feeling low, or maybe you’d like to listen to some podcasts on how others got over their exes.

You can also find comfort in movies and tv shows that have similar themes of self-love and empowerment. There are so many options for entertainment these days!

You may even want to create a playlist of songs that make you feel happy and play it whenever you’re feeling down in the dumps. It’s amazing what music can do for our moods!

If you’re looking for something more structured, there are plenty of seminars, courses, and challenges that can give you the tools you need to build your self-confidence. You can also join a group if you want to connect with others on the same journey as you.

Be Open To New Experiences & Embrace Travel

It can be easy to get stuck in a routine, but you don’t want your life to become boring and stagnant. Be open to new experiences that come along with meeting new people or going places where there might not usually go.

If you’re looking for ways to spice up your social life, try joining a club or attending meetups for things that interest you. There are also classes and events that can take you out of your normal flow.

When it comes to traveling, don’t be afraid to go somewhere on your own. This is a great way to explore a new place and meet new people while doing something that you’re interested in.

After all of the personal self-development you’ve experienced through travel, you’ll also have some great stories to bring back with you and share. It’s truly a win-win!

It may be hard on your budget or schedule to take a long trip, but there are plenty of ways to travel that don’t require much planning at all.

For example, you could go hiking in your local woods for a day or spend an afternoon exploring a new town nearby. The options are endless and will help expand your comfort zone while improving yourself in the process!

6. Improve Your Health

having fun in strong wind

Your health is one of the most important things in your life, so it’s no surprise that it is on this list. When you’re feeling good about yourself, it shows in every aspect of your life.

When women are trying to get their boyfriend back, it usually leads to crash dieting, over-exercising, and other unhealthy habits. You don’t want to do this to yourself! This isn’t the same as genuine health and wellness, which will be a much stronger attractor if you’re trying to get your ex to notice you and miss you.

There are so many ways to improve your health without depriving yourself or going overboard. Here are some of the key areas you can focus on:


Sleep is one of the most important factors in your overall health. It affects all of your body’s functions, and if you’re not getting enough, you’ll start to notice it in every aspect of your life.

If this is an area where you struggle, make sure that the first step is getting more restful sleep each night. There are plenty of ways to do that! For starters, try going to bed at the same time each night, and don’t use any screens an hour before bed.

You can also take it a step further by not having any caffeine after noon or using natural sleep aids if you’re really struggling to get enough restful hours in a row.


having fun running

It’s no secret that exercise is good for your health, especially if you’re feeling sluggish and depressed because your relationship has ended. It’s important to get your blood flowing and to put a small to moderate amount of stress on your body in order to keep it functioning properly.

Exercising can also help boost your self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself, which is especially important after a breakup. Try to get at least 30 minutes of movement each day – even just walking around the block if that’s all you have time for!

If you’re looking for something more intense, you could always try joining a gym or finding an exercise class that you love. There are so many options out there, and it’s important to find something that you’ll stick with in order to see the benefits long-term.

If you aren’t into exercise, think of more gentle, restorative ways you can get your body moving, such as yoga or tai chi.

Most importantly, commit to a routine. Exercise never feels good before you do it! It’s important that you have a system that holds you accountable for getting moving every day, whether that’s a workout buddy or an app on your phone.


cutting water melon

What you put into your body is just as important as what you do with it. Eating healthy foods will help improve your mood, energy levels, and skin – all of which are crucial when trying to attract someone new.

Plus, if you’re eating better, you’ll likely have more self-control when it comes to snacking and eating out. This is another area where you don’t want to deprive yourself, as that will only lead to bingeing later on.

Instead, start making small changes each day until your entire diet is based on nutritious foods. This may take a while, but it’s definitely worth it in the long run!

When it comes to your diet, focus on eating more fruits and vegetables as well as whole grains. You should also cut back or eliminate processed sugar if possible.

Not only will you feel better physically, but you’ll also mentally be in a much better place – which is essential when trying to get into a better place for a new relationship.

Hydrate & Release Toxins

drinking water in bottle

Water is the most important substance on earth and without it, we would not be here today. So, if you’re looking for ways to improve your health, then drinking more water should definitely be one of them!

Not only will this help flush out toxins from our body but also ensure that our organs are functioning properly. Dehydration has been linked to a number of health problems, so it’s important that we drink enough water every day.

Aim to drink at least eight glasses per day, and more if you’re active or live in a hot climate.

When it comes to hydration, water is always the best choice. However, if you’re not a fan of just drinking water then you can also try adding fruit slices or herbs for added flavor. Tea is another way to add hydration to your diet, especially if you’re drinking medicinal or herbal teas. This will help make sure you’re getting enough fluids each day.

In addition to improving your body, it may be a good time to remove any bad habits from your lifestyle. This could include things like smoking, drinking alcohol in excess, or eating junk food.

All of these habits can not only harm our physical health but also our mental state. It could have made all of the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one for you in the past. It’s important to rid ourselves of any negative influences so we can focus on moving forward post-breakup.

If you’re having trouble quitting something cold turkey, try implementing a plan where you slowly wean yourself off of it. This will make the process less painful and allow you to focus on your health without feeling overwhelmed.

It’s not easy letting go of things that we’re used to, but it’s definitely worth it in the long run! You can sweeten the deal by finding new hobbies or interests that don’t involve these bad habits or setting up a reward system for when you reach certain goals.

7. Talk to Friends and Family Members

sad feeling having friend support

When we’re going through a tough time, it’s always helpful to talk to someone who will understand and offer support. This could be friends, family members, or even a mental health professional.

Talking openly and honestly about what we’re feeling can help us process the breakup and work through our emotions. Not only that, but it also allows us to get different perspectives on the situation.

It can be really helpful to have someone to talk to who won’t judge us and will just listen. So, if you’re feeling lost or don’t know where to start, reach out to the people closest to you for some guidance.

Let them know that you want your new ex-boyfriend to get back together with you, even though the relationship ended. They will give you honest feedback on what they think you should do next.

Try to talk about why things didn’t work out between yourself and your new ex so it can be easier for them to give some advice on how to best approach this situation.

If you have mutual friends that you can talk to, even better! They may have seen or heard things that you didn’t and can give you some inside information on what your ex is up to. Just remember to be respectful and to avoid putting them in the middle of any conflict.

Talking openly about our feelings can be really cathartic, and it may help us to process our emotions in a healthy way.

Visit Professional Counselors

having conversation with a professional

If you’re feeling lost or don’t know how to proceed, it may be helpful for you to visit professional counselors. They can offer advice on things like communication skills, relationships, and how best to move forward when dealing with getting back together.

Talk openly about your relationship and what you’re feeling in order to get the most out of your counseling sessions. This can be a great way for you to learn more about yourself, as well as how to handle future relationships.

If money is an issue, there are also many free counseling services available that can help you get started.

Look for a counselor or therapist that specializes in relationships and has experience with breakups or high conflict relationships so they can provide you with the best advice possible.

8. Take Time to Reflect on His Needs

lying in bed in deep thoughts

Now that you have taken time to reflect on and work on your own feelings about the relationship and yourself, it’s time to turn your thoughts towards your partner.

The first step is to reflect on what his personal needs are. You can then ask yourself how you can be more respectful and thoughtful towards him. There is no point in getting back together in a relationship if you aren’t excited to make some changes and improvements, after all!

Start by thinking about what he needs in a relationship. This can be anything from feeling needed and wanted, to having someone who understands him and his quirks.

Once you have a good understanding of what his needs are, it’s time to start putting yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if your partner wasn’t meeting some of your needs?

Think about it in this way, because you’ll need to show him that he matters just as much to you as they do.

Here are some ideas of ways that you can be more thoughtful and considerate to your partner when you come back together:

Ask How He Feels

Having regular check-ins is a great way to see how your relationship is doing. You should also ask him how he feels about the relationship and what you can do to improve it, too!

Ask him if there are any changes that would make things better for both of you. Make sure to listen closely when asking these questions so that they know their opinions matter just as much as yours does.

This is a great way to show him that you are interested in his feelings and thoughts, as well as to make it clear that they have an equal say in how your relationship will move forward.

Be Open About Your Feelings

good time talking with each other

It’s important to be open about your feelings with the person you are dating or married to if things aren’t going well. Bottling your feelings up will only lead to resentment and more anger down the line. Men aren’t mind-readers and they will need your support when it comes to reading you.

If you’re feeling frustrated, let him know! If you’re feeling loved and happy, tell him that too! This type of communication is key in any relationship, but especially when it comes to getting back together after a breakup.

Make sure to be as respectful and positive as possible when you’re telling him what’s up because it doesn’t help anyone if he feels like he has to defend himself against your feelings.

Give Him Space

While it’s important to take the time for yourself, you also need to give your partner space when they say that they aren’t in the mood for something.

This does not mean that you should never plan dates with them or make plans together, but rather that you respect their feelings when they need some time to themselves.

Allowing them this space will show that you understand and care about their needs, which is something that all men crave in a relationship.

This is a good time to identify if you have jealousy and possessiveness issues, which usually leads to conflict when couples want to spend time apart.

Take responsibility for the fact that this is probably coming from your own trust issues and doesn’t have anything to do with your partner. Therefore, don’t blame him or punish him for your own issues!

Instead, let him take space and processes your conflicts with other people such as a close friend or family member, so that you don’t cause a fight between you and your partner.

Put Down the Phone

not listening busy with phone

And the laptop, and the television remote. Put everything down and be present with your partner.

Many people nowadays are so distracted by their phones that they don’t even notice when someone else is trying to talk to them, which can lead to feelings of frustration and neglect from both parties involved in this situation.

In order for relationships to grow stronger, you need face time! The only way to do this is by putting away the distractions and actually having a conversation with your partner.

This means that you should also be giving them your undivided attention when they’re talking, as it’s important for them to feel heard and validated.

Remember that fun is an essential part of any relationship. If you want your relationship to work, then both parties have to be willing to let their guard down and have some fun.

This doesn’t mean that you should be acting like children, but rather that you enjoy each other’s company and take the time to do things that make you happy.

Playing games, going for walks, watching movies, or simply talking can help to keep the spark alive in any relationship. Try to integrate these ideas when your partner seems stressed and could use some extra attention from their partner.

This will make them feel loved and appreciated, which is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Choose to Be Connected & Happy Over Being Right

having coffee she listens to partner

Relationships are often filled with disagreements and fights that can be difficult to resolve. It’s important for couples not only to have good communication skills but also learn how to listen when their partner is speaking.

The best way to do this is by choosing connection over being right every time there’s an argument between you both! This means that instead of trying to win the fight, you’re more focused on understanding your partner and what they’re saying.

This can be a difficult thing to do, but it’s definitely worth the effort as it will help to prevent future arguments from happening.

It’s also important that you take time for yourself after an argument has occurred so that you can both cool down and approach the situation with a more open mind.

Arguing is never fun, but it’s definitely something that happens in any relationship. By following these tips, you and your partner will be able to resolve conflicts in a much healthier and more productive way!

Be Physically Affectionate

giving hugs and kisses

Physical touch is a powerful way to show your partner that you love and care for them.

This doesn’t mean that you have to be sexual with them, but rather that you give them hugs, kisses on the forehead, or simply hold their hand when you’re walking together.

Touch can help to soothe tensions and create a sense of intimacy between partners. It also makes them feel valued and loved, which is something that we all crave in a relationship.

If your partner seems distant or like they need some extra love and attention, then try being more physically affectionate with them. It can make all the difference in how they feel about themselves and their relationship with you!

Other gestures such as consistent eye contact, a gentle smile on your face, and encouraging nodding can do wonders for a relationship. Your man will feel appreciated and valued by these acts of kindness.

Ask What He Needs

couple not talking sitting

It can be difficult to know what our partner needs without asking them directly. This is especially true if your partner is introverted and doesn’t always communicate their feelings very well.

By simply asking him what he needs, you’re opening up the lines of communication and letting him know that you’re interested in his well-being. Make this a regular practice, don’t just do it when he’s upset or angry.

You might also consider asking him: “What do you need from me right now?” This is a great way to show your boyfriend that he can always count on you for anything, no matter how big or small his request may be.

9. Initiate Communication Again

couples happy conversation

By this point, you are probably more than ready to talk to your ex again. You took space and time to work on yourself, connected with trusted loved ones for advice, got clear on what you want for the future, and thought of ways you can show up as compassionately for him as possible.

It’s safe to say that at this point you are ready to talk to your man again.

Your feelings may be in two places by now. You’re either feeling incredibly excited to make contact again, or completely anxious.

Probably both. You want your ex back, but you don’t want to mess this up. You want to ensure that everything goes smoothly and according to plan!

To give yourself the best chance possible, make sure to be very intentional about how you reconnect with your ex.

What Were the Agreed Upon Terms?

Before reaching out, it’s important to make sure that you’re playing by the rules. Did you wait the full length of time that the two of you said you would take space? Did you reach out to friends or family for support during that time?

If you can answer yes to both of those questions, then it’s likely safe to reach out to your ex. If not, then you may want to wait a bit longer until you feel confident in your progress.

Reaching out without following the agreed-upon terms will only make things worse between you and your ex. He’ll likely be annoyed by your lack of respect for him or the process that the two of you agreed upon together before taking time apart.

Is It Too Soon to Reconnect?

After a breakup, it’s important to give yourself and your partner time away from each other. This is true even if you want to get back together eventually!

If it feels like too soon for the two of you, then don’t rush it. Give yourselves a bit more space until both parties feel ready and comfortable enough with each other again.

When to Send Your First Text or Email After No Contact?

sitting on ground looking at laptop

The first message is always the hardest one to write. There are so many things that you want to say but not sure if they’ll come across right in text format.

It’s important to remember that this first contact is just a way for the two of you to reconnect and start talking again, not necessarily get back together yet (although it could happen!).

The conversation should be lighthearted at first. Try telling him something funny about what’s been going on in your life since the last time you spoke or saw each other, even if it was only a few days ago!

If you’re feeling nervous about sending this initial message, then don’t be afraid to take some deep breaths before hitting send! It will help to calm your nerves and put you in a better headspace.

Here are a few sample text messages that you can send to break the ice:

  • “Hey, it’s been a while since we talked. I hope you’re doing well.”
  • “I was thinking about you the other day and how much I miss our talks. I’d love to chat soon if you have time”
  • “Wanted to reach out and see how you’re doing. I’m sorry for everything we have been through and I’m ready to talk.”
  • “I’ve been meaning to call you, but haven’t had the chance.”
  • “I hope everything is well. I would love to catch up if that feels good to you.”
  • “Hi there. Thinking of you and wondering how you’re hanging in there. I am ready to talk if you are.””Hey! I
  • hope you’re doing well, it’s been a while. I’m doing good, just wanted to check in with you.”

These are all great starters for the conversation. Just remember to keep it light and positive at first. You can get more serious as the conversation progresses.

No matter what your ex says or does when you reach out, it’s important to stay calm and collected. Reacting negatively will only push him further away!

If he’s receptive, be appreciative of that and continue the conversation. If he’s not receptive, don’t get discouraged! Just take a break and try again later when he may be in a better headspace.

It can be difficult to handle his reactions, but it’s important to stay strong and positive throughout the entire process. You will likely have your ups and downs, but remember why you’re doing all of this in the first place! You want to get back together with your ex for a reason, so don’t forget that.

10. Let Him Know You Want to Get Back Together

flirting couple standing in beach

The best way to get your ex-boyfriend back fast is to let him know that you still want him and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make things work between the two of you again.

If he’s receptive, tell him how much you’ve been thinking about him and how much you miss being together. If he’s not receptive, don’t give up! Just take a break and try again later.

No matter what, make sure that you are genuine in your feelings and that you’re not just trying to get him back because you’re lonely or desperate. If your feelings are real, he’ll be able to tell and it will only make things easier in the long run.

There may be new factors to deal with and new lifestyle choices that both of you have made. One of the hardest situations is when or if your ex has started a new relationship or a rebound relationship.

If he is in a rebound relationship and you really want to get back together, it’s important to be fair. If you two are broken up, he is allowed to have his own life without your permission.

You’re no longer allowed to dictate his actions or feelings. You need to accept that he’s moved on and has a new life with someone else. This can be difficult, but it is necessary if you want him back someday in the future.

In contrast, if you have been spending time with other guys during the break-up, it’s time to change your ways. If you want to get back with your ex, it’s imperative that you stop seeing other people so he knows how serious about him and the relationship.

If other people aren’t involved, take some time to tell your ex about all of the efforts you have been making on your own time. He will be happy to hear that you have worked on yourself, but he will be even more touched to know that you have been thinking about his needs and how you can respect them.

After you have taken time to compassionately share what you want to offer, it’s time for you to ask for what you need. What has to change in this relationship in order for you to move forward? What boundaries do you require?

You can’t expect him to change something that he doesn’t know about. You have to speak up! He will appreciate your honesty and courage because it shows how much this relationship means to you.

After having this conversation, it’s time to discuss a timeline. If he is open to trying again, ready to move forward, or on the fence, it’s important that you set a realistic timeline for yourself.

For example, if he agrees to move forward but wants time apart before making any decisions about the future of your relationship, make sure you are clear on what this means and when he will be ready.

If there is no timetable yet established, ask him again in a few days or weeks.

If he is not open to trying again, it may be time to let go or to accept the fact that you will be waiting a very long time to get another opportunity for a new relationship with him.

You will have to ask yourself if this relationship is worth fighting for or if it might be better left alone at this point. It may be hard to accept that you’re officially his ex-girlfriend, but this reality can help you to move on and to find the happiness you deserve with someone else in your life.

11. Stay Positive and Patient

she is leaning against the wall

Whether or not you two have decided to get back together or to give it some more time as you decide to give the relationship another chance, it’s important to keep up with a positive mindset and to have lots of patience for both you and your ex.

You may not be able to see him or talk on the phone as often as before, but you should have some kind of connection so that he knows how you are doing and what is going on in your life. This can help to maintain a level of trust between the two of you.

When you reach out to him, it’s important that you stay positive and patient. Sometimes communication can be slow or even non-existent when a guy is trying to sort out his feelings for you.

This doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in getting back together; it just means that he needs time away from the relationship so that he can figure out what’s going on in his own head.

It’s important to have a healthy balance between giving him the time he needs and staying connected to make sure he knows that you are still interested in getting back. Feel free to send him text messages or call him regularly, but don’t pressure him to get back to you right away.

You also don’t need to worry about being at his beck and call every moment either. Take your time when responding to any messages you send him. Not only will this make it so you don’t look desperate, but it will also give you time to formulate the best responses possible.

If you both agree to get back together, physical meetings or dates shouldn’t be rushed either. You should take things slow so that you can both get used to the idea of being in a relationship again.

This may look like one meeting a week, or three or four, but try your best not to fall into spending every second of every day together. Even if this is what you both did together in the past, it’s important to spend time apart from each other a little more than before.

This will make sure that the transition back into the relationship isn’t overwhelming and isn’t just a rebound. It can be hard to understand all of the emotional baggage that comes with getting back together, but if you’re patient and stay positive, it can definitely work out in the end.

12. Be Ready to Let Go

couple in sofa looking away

If your now ex-boyfriend isn’t ready to return to the relationship even after the no-contact period, it’s time to spend time thinking about how you can best move on.

It’s not as simple as cutting off all communication forever. Many people prefer to remain friends with their ex-girlfriend and can transition out of a romantic relationship without much conflict.

To decide if this is right for you, you will need to ask yourself a few questions:

Am I Really Happy With This Man In My Life?

It may be worth it to stay connected with your ex, but there is one very important question to ask when you’re making compromises after a breakup. Are you really happy? Are you feeling strong and confident when you think of your ex, or are you feeling like a victim whose entire world revolves around him?

Am I Holding Myself Back?

The next important question to ask yourself is whether or not this relationship is supporting you in moving forward with your life. Are you holding yourself back from growing and improving as a person? Do you feel like he is taking advantage of you or using you to make himself happy without giving much back?

Can I Be Friends With Him?

The last question to ask yourself is if you think it’s possible to transition from a romantic relationship into being friends. This doesn’t mean staying in touch and talking all the time, but can you see him as just another person in your life- someone that you don’t have any feelings for romantically?

If you can honestly answer yes to all of these questions, then you may want to consider staying friends with your ex.

If not, it’s best to cut off contact and start moving on with your life. It can be hard at first, but once you get past the initial pain of a breakup you will feel much better.

Staying Together

laughing while talking to him

If the two of you decide to give a loving relationship another shot, things aren’t guaranteed to be better the second time around.

However, you can make sure that the relationship is much healthier and happier if you both focus on communicating with each other more effectively.

It’s important to balance a realistic outlook of the relationship with a positive outlook of the future.

Yes, there will be disagreements and problems, but remember that these are just a part of any relationship. As long as you focus on working through them together, then you can make your relationship stronger than ever before.

Stay firm on any boundaries or rules that you both want to create and make sure they are clear to each other.

If the relationship doesn’t work out, then it’s important that you recognize this and move on with your life without regrets or clinging on to a lost past.

This may be a sad final note when you’re primarily concerned with how to get your ex-boyfriend back, but it is actually a positive acknowledgment. By thinking about when it’s best to let go, you know that you’re in the relationship for the right reasons and won’t lose respect for yourself by staying in an unhealthy relationship.

13. Have Fun and Be a Great Partner

happy couple walking with bike

Now that you have the relationship of your dreams back in your grasp, it’s time to make the best of it! Practice everything you have taken the time to figure out and strategize.

It has likely been a challenging time for both of you as you’ve dealt with the stress of the separation. Give yourself some restorative time. This can be as casual as binging a television show that you both love or as involved as a relaxing spa day and dinner at your favorite restaurant.

Moving forward with your new relationship will be much easier if you have had some time to relax and recuperate from everything that has occurred over the last few months.

The dedicated planning effort has paid off, now let’s make sure that it is fun!

Having a regular check-in is a great way to make sure that things are going well. It can also help to resolve any negative emotions before they build into larger conflicts. Make sure to discuss both the good things and bad things about your relationship so you can work on improving them together.

These 13 tips should provide you with a strong foundation to build the happiest and healthiest relationship of your life. Congratulations on making it this far!

If you want to get your ex back, you need to take the time and effort to make sure that your relationship is healthy and happy. Remember that relationships require constant work, but they are also definitely worth the effort.

How Do You Deal With an Ex Seeing Someone New?

If your ex-boyfriend starts seeing someone new, it can be hard to deal with. You may feel like you’re not good enough, or that he’s moved on too quickly with a rebound relationship. It can hurt even worse if you were hoping to get back together in the end.

Here are some steps that can help you cope with your ex seeing someone new:

Be Honest About Your Feelings

she is jealous with couple flirting

Many uncomfortable feelings may come up when you realize your ex is dating someone new. You may be mad at him, jealous of her, or upset with yourself.

At first, don’t try to rationalize all of these thoughts. Simply let them run through you and feel them. This may lead to heaviness, deep sadness, rage, and even despair. It can be tough to allow yourself to experience these intense feelings. However, it is much safer and healthier than oppressing them.

When we oppress our feelings, they can come up at any time, which can be very destructive. If you are honest about how you feel and allow yourself to experience them in a healthy way, they will eventually dissipate.

If it feels like too much to deal with on your own, talking to a friend can be really helpful. They can offer support and validation as you work through your feelings. Make sure that you’re talking with a friend that you trust and know will guide you through this tough time in a healthy way.

If you feel like you need more help, seeking out therapy may be a good option for you. Therapists are trained to help people deal with difficult emotions and can offer guidance on how to cope. You will be able to talk everything over and receive great advice from someone with professional training.

Consider why the Relationship Ended

group of friends walking

When your ex breaks up with you and quickly starts seeing someone else, it’s easy to feel like there is something wrong with you. You may start to question everything about yourself and wonder what you could have done differently.

It’s important to remember that relationships end for a variety of reasons. There is no one-size-fits-all answer as to why they ended. In order to move on, it can be helpful to consider the things that led up to the breakup. What were your ex’s complaints? What things did you do that drove him away?

Thinking about these things can be really painful, but it is an important step in moving on. If you don’t know why the relationship ended, it will be difficult to avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships.

Therapy and well-meaning friends can help to support you through this process.

Remember That Others Will Love You

Instead of getting caught in a comparison game between you and your ex’s new girlfriend, take time to envision how good it’s going to be when you have a new man that respects you and values you.

This will not happen right away or overnight. It’s important to keep your expectations realistic and take plenty of time for self-care and healing. You may have gotten caught in a pattern of being with the wrong guy if your ex is already seeing someone new so soon after breaking up with you.

If this is the case, it’s time to break the pattern and start dating guys that make you feel good about yourself. There are plenty of them out there. Have a therapist or close friend help you to identify these unhealthy patterns and choose partners who make you feel loved and supported.

Get Into the Dating Scene

happy having drinks in beach

It can be tough to jump back into the dating scene after a breakup. However, it’s important to remember that there are plenty of people out there that will love and appreciate you.

Start slow. Maybe, at first, you simply create a profile on a dating site so you can take a look at who is out there. When you feel ready, go out on a few dates with people that seem like good potential matches.

Even these small efforts can completely change your brain chemistry and shift you into a more positive place when thinking about getting back into dating.

There’s no pressure to rush into a new relationship. Instead, enjoy the process of getting back out there and meeting new people. You will learn so much from this experience!

But What If I Still Want to Be With Him?

couple laughing in the background

Even if your ex has moved on with a new girlfriend, you may still feel like you want to be with him. You may even feel like you still love him.

It’s important to take time and think about what it is that you really want. Do you miss the relationship, or do you miss how he made you feel? Maybe both? What can a new boyfriend offer that your ex could not? Make sure that you are really honest with yourself when answering these questions.

If you do decide that you want to try and get back together with your ex, it’s important to take things slow. Time heals all things. Time may give you space to grieve and let go of the relationship. Or perhaps, over time, your ex will be single again and you two will have another chance.

There’s nothing wrong with having these feelings and being honest. It is important, however, to respect your ex’s space if he wants to start dating again. You can’t force someone to want to be with you. If he is not interested, it’s time to move on until there’s a potential opportunity in the future.

No matter what you decide to do, make sure that you take care of yourself and give yourself compassion as you heal. This stuff is hard and you deserve a break!

How Do You Know if You Should Try to Get Your Ex Back?

she is looking back at him

It can be difficult to know if you should try and get your ex back. You may have a lot of mixed emotions about the breakup. You may still care for him deeply or feel that he is “the one.” But, on the other side of the token, you may be stressed and feel like you can’t go on in the relationship.

If you’re thinking about getting back together with an ex, there are several things that need to be considered:

How Did the Relationship End?

If one or both of you cheated, it may be harder to repair things. If there was a lot of abusive or controlling behavior that led to the breakup, this may indicate serious problems in the relationship. It’s important to reflect on the severity of the relationship problems to decide whether or not it’s worth trying once more.

If you feel that your ex hurt you (or you hurt him) in a way that is beyond repair, it’s probably best to stay apart. However, if you simply need an apology or to clear up a misunderstanding, it may be worth it to give the relationship another chance.

It’s also important to consider what happened after the relationship ended. Was one of you disrespectful, mean, or vindictive? If so, this is not a good sign for the future.

If you two treated each other with respect after the breakup, there may be a potentially healthy relationship in both of your futures.

If there are still some things that need to be addressed, getting back together may not be the best idea, unless you are both open to working on them. For example, if you cheated on your ex, he may never be able to trust you again. If you were constantly fighting before the breakup, it’s likely that these issues will resurface if you get back together.

It’s important to remember that relationships are two-way streets. If there are things that need to be fixed from your end, try addressing these issues before getting back together. This will show your ex that you are serious about making things work and give him a chance to do the same.

Are You Just Lonely?

sitting alone hand on chin

Are you trying to get back together because you want to be with him or because you fear being alone? It’s important that you take some time for yourself and make sure that this is really what you want. If you are too afraid to take some time for yourself to figure out what is best, it’s a sign that you are dependent on the relationship.

This isn’t good for a relationship long term, as you need to be able to have your own identity and space. If you are only getting back together because you fear being single, it may not work out for the best in the long run.

If you are able to healthily take space and actually enjoy yourself, this is a good sign that you are ready to be in a relationship. Of course, you should miss your ex too if you’re considering getting back together, but it’s important to find a healthy balance between needing your own space and needing to get your ex back.

Are You Willing to Change and Know What You Want?

Relationships take work. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, it’s not going to work out. This means that you may need to change some things about yourself – your behavior, your habits, or even your appearance.

The more you are willing to take action to fix problems in the relationship, the better chance you have of getting back together. Only you can take responsibility for your own happiness and wellbeing, so start actively contributing to the relationship so that you can achieve this.

If you’re not willing to make some changes, it’s likely that the relationship will end again in the future, even if you can temporarily solve the problem.

Before you ask your ex to get back together, make sure that you’re clear on what you want from the relationship. If you are still confused about what went wrong in the past or how to move forward now, take some time for yourself and do some soul-searching first.

Reflect on what happened between you two and figure out if there is any room for improvement in the future. If you’re not sure what went wrong, try to talk it out with your ex.

If he can’t give you a straight answer, ask yourself whether you still want him in your life or just have some lingering feelings that need to be let go of.

How Do I Know if My Breakup Is Final?

sad looking with couples in background

It can be hard to tell if a breakup is final. At the moment, emotions are running high and there is a strong possibility that both parties will say things they don’t mean. If you’re feeling confused as to whether or not your breakup was real, here are some signs that it’s over for good:

  • He Ignores Your Phone Calls

If he doesn’t answer your phone calls or texts, it’s not a good sign. If he ignores you completely after the breakup, this is a pretty clear indication that he wants nothing to do with you anymore. If this behavior continues for over a week, he has likely let go of the relationship. It’s time to move on unless there are extenuating circumstances that may have led to this behavior.

  • He’s Moved on With Another Girl

If he’s moved on with another girl and is happy in the relationship, it’s probably over for good. A new girlfriend can be a sign that he has completely moved on from the relationship.

If he’s dating girls casually and clearly opting for one-night stands, this isn’t a great sign for the future of your relationship either. He is being reckless and indifferent to the consequences of the relationship, which means that he’s not invested in the future. It’s probably best to stand up for yourself and not allow him to treat you as a “booty call.”

  • He’s Moved Out

If your ex has packed all of his things and moved out, it’s likely that he is serious about the breakup. He may be trying to move on with his life while also giving you space. If this is the case, try making a clean break from him and moving on with your life too. Once you have settled any shared responsibilities such as rent, you can begin to focus on yourself.

  • He’s Not Willing to Change His Behaviour

If your ex is not willing to change his behavior, you may be better off moving on. While there is a possibility that he will realize what he’s missing, this isn’t always the case. If his behavior continues and is justifying it to himself by blaming it on others, take some time for yourself instead of trying to mend the relationship.

  • He Doesn’t Want To Talk About It

Avoidance is a common coping mechanism after a breakup. It can be difficult to face your emotions and think about what went wrong in the relationship. If he doesn’t want to talk about it or acknowledge that there are issues, this may mean that he isn’t interested in working on things.

  • He Tells You He’s Moved On

If he tells you that he’s moved on, it’s time to believe him. If he can verbalize his feelings and has accepted that the relationship is over, it’s likely time for you to do the same. Make sure that he has communicated this in a calm manner and isn’t feeling triggered when he says it, so you know that it isn’t just expressed in the heat of the moment.

  • You’ve Stopped Caring About the Relationship

If you’ve stopped caring about the relationship and don’t want to work on it anymore, this is a clear indication that your breakup was final. You can tell if you feel this way if you’re feeling pretty unaffected by the breakup. You will also know if it’s time to move on if you feel better after going through a separation. This is your gut letting you know that your heart wasn’t completely in it.

  • Something Abusive Happened

If there was physical or emotional abuse in the relationship, it’s time to move on. This isn’t something that can be fixed and you don’t want to be with someone who has hurt you in such a way. It’s also important for you to be honest if you’re the abuser in the relationship. It can be hard to admit this to yourself, but it’s important that you do if you wish to move forward in life.

sitting on floor not listening to him

Final Thoughts

Breakups can be hard, but they don’t have to mean that the committed relationship is over forever. It’s human nature to want to fight for what we’ve lost, and if you follow the above 13 steps, you can win your ex-boyfriend back in no time.

Make sure to be patient, understanding, and communicative as you work through these steps. And most importantly, make sure to treat yourself with the same level of care and respect that you would give to anyone else. You deserve it!

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!