Breakups suck. They suck especially hard if you have a really amazing connection with someone, only to have it fizzle out for one reason or another. If you’re in a bad state about a relationship ending, we can help! Read on for 10 great tips on how to forget your ex boyfriend fast.
1. Banish Him from Your Daily Routine
When people are in a relationship, our partners are key aspects of our daily lives. We generally incorporate contact with them into regular routines, like texting them first thing in the morning and last thing at night. When things end, we still have those urges to reach out or check messages, simply because they’re routine.
If your morning ritual was to immediately check your phone to see if he’s texted you, switch that up. Turn your phone off before bed if you can. When you hop (or crawl) out of bed first thing, do a bit of yoga, put the coffee on, take a shower. Any time you feel a twinge because interaction with him was part of your day-to-day life, do something completely different instead.
This is a great way to get yourself out of those rut-like habits. The more you switch things up, the less you’ll think about him, and how much you still hurt.
2. Stay Busy with Your Own Pursuits
This goes along with the routine banishment above. You know those gaps that happen over the course of the day when you would text or call your ex boyfriend? Well, that’s a whole lot of time that you now have to dedicate to yourself!
Do you have any hobbies, interests, or other beloved activities that you haven’t dedicated time to because you’ve been swamped by relationship stuff? Time to pour your energy back into those. Do some art or crafts, spend time outside: whatever makes you happy. You have a lot of extra time on your hands now: spend it however you like!
3. Get Rid of His Stuff (Plus Whatever Reminds You Of Him)
Most people associate items with memories: this is why the souvenir industry makes a killing every year. Whether you’re a sentimental sort or not, chances are you have some items around your house that have stories and special memories attached to them. If those items either belong(ed) to your ex, or were gifts from him, they’ll likely remind you of him whenever you look at them.
Go on a cleaning spree, gathering up anything he left at your place, along with gifts he gave you, photos of you two together, etc. If there are some gifts that you really like and want to keep, that’s cool. Just don’t hold onto anything that has bad energy associated with it.
Pack up his stuff and either mail it to him, or get a mutual friend to drop it off at his place. Throw away or burn the photos, and give unwanted items to charity. Just don’t throw out or burn his stuff out of spite or anger. That’s a bad precedent to set and can earn some pretty bad karma your way in turn.
4. No Contact
He might want to stay friends, and try to reach out to you for support, comfort, etc. Yeah, no. Walk away from this train wreck and throw imaginary grenades over your shoulder so he can’t follow.
Delete his number from your phone, and unfriend and block him across all your social media accounts. In fact, while you’re at it, unfriend and block his best friend and family members while you’re at it. The last thing you need is for mutual acquaintances to give him a play-by-play of anything and everything you post on there.
5. Remember Everything You Hated About Him
When we love someone, we tend to either ignore or overlook the little things about them that annoy us. Even when and if something really irritating happens, we gloss over it as just part of who we are.
That doesn’t mean these traits and habits aren’t absolutely excruciating. We just choose love, understanding, and compassion over throwing shoes at them because they’re chewing with their mouth open again.
Grab your journal and write a list of everything that annoyed, irritated, frustrated, and otherwise infuriated you about your now ex boyfriend.
Did he snore really loudly? Or did his feet smell? Did he leave dirty clothes all over the floor? Or maybe he had weird food habits that drove you insane? Write all of this down, and add more items every time they come to mind. Whenever you find yourself missing him, read this list. You’ll suddenly feel a lot better about him not being around anymore.
6. Spend Time with Your Friends
Many people find that they spend a lot less time with their friends when they’re in a relationship. Friendship is so vital to a healthy, happy life, and making time with those we care about can make a huge difference in our lives.
Make a point of spending time with your friends. Get updated on what’s going on with their lives, offer your time and help if they’re going through difficulty, and just reconnect with them. These ties need to be nurtured and cultivated, and there’s no time like the present to celebrate the awesome people in your world.
If you can’t spend time with them in person for a number of different reasons, set up video calls. Apps like Zoom are great for live calls, while Marco Polo is fabulous for recording messages to one another when you have a free moment here and there.
7. Express Emotion when Needed
It’s absolutely okay to still get upset and have a good cry now and then. In fact, it’s a lot healthier to release pent-up emotions rather than keep them all inside, letting them grow and fester.
You might feel waves of anger, frustration, hurt, even sorrow depending on how things ended.
Let them out.
If you like journaling, write all this stuff down. This helps to exorcise the emotions you’re feeling, as you’re literally getting them out, and onto paper. Whatever you’re feeling is valid, and important to express. Just make sure that you don’t keep dredging up and chewing on negativity because it’s comforting. Once you’ve let it go, leave it gone.
8. Be the Best Version of Yourself
Are you happy and confident with yourself? Furthermore (and more importantly), are you living a life that’s authentic, true to who you really want to be?
Quite often, we change aspects of ourselves to suit other people’s preferences, lifestyles, etc. Someone who starts dating a beer or coffee aficionado might start drinking their partner’s favorites as a means of bonding, whether they actually like that stuff or not. Similarly, many people adopt their partner’s clothing style and musical preferences, whether intentionally or subconsciously.
Take some time to really think about which aspects of your current life are authentically you, and which you’ve adopted over time.
Then, determine who it is you really want to be.
Do you love your clothes because they reflect your unique personality? Great! If not, go all KonMari on them and toss out whatever doesn’t inspire joy in you. Do you like your hair color and style? Are you eating foods that you truly enjoy? Getting exercise that you like to take part in?
Rediscover who you are on every level, and make living the best version of yourself a top priority.
9.Find Another Lover
There’s an old saying that goes: “there’s no better way to get over someone than to get under someone else”.
That may sound a bit crass, but it’s actually quite true. In fact, it’s one of the quickest, easiest ways to get over your feelings for a person. If you find yourself pining over your ex bf, distract yourself with a new lover. Be careful about getting involved again too quickly: rebound relationships rarely work out.
Try to hook up with someone who’s cool with a “friends with benefits” or similar no-strings arrangement. Enjoy them when you’re together, but keep your heart to yourself for a little while. You’ve been through the equivalent of a threshing machine, so take some time to heal and get to know yourself again before pursuing a proper relationship with another person.
10. Focus on a New Goal
What do you have going on in your life that you’re working towards, or otherwise striving for? Take a note from Viktor Frankl, who wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning after he survived a concentration camp: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
What are you living for? Do you have a driving force or pursuit in your life?
Are you working on a cool online course? Training for a triathlon? Being creative with some new artsy endeavors? Or working with some charity outreach groups?
Instead of focusing your time and attention on your ex (who come on, really doesn’t deserve another thought of yours, never mind extra minutes of your precious life energy), put your love and light towards something bigger. Better. More awesome.
Do something in service for the greater good and you’ll feel amazing. Be the change you want to see in the world, and one of these mornings you’ll wake up and realize that you haven’t thought about your ex in days. Maybe even weeks.
And that will feel spectacular.
So. Put down that pint of ice cream, and stop playing sad or angry music over and over again.
Take these steps and you can be pretty sure you’ll discover just how easy it is to forget your ex boyfriend before you know it.