If you’re having feelings for someone new in your life, it can be hard to initiate a date. Instead of worrying about how this may come across, you can choose to take initiative, which most men find attractive. Here are 8 ways to ask out a guy that you barely know:
1. Keep it General
A great way to take the pressure off of your request while still showing you are interested in someone is to keep it general. You could say, “I’m really enjoying hanging out with you lately, let’s do it again sometime.”
This is a great way to leave things open-ended while expressing interest. It’s likely that he will respond positively and suggest a couple of times or days that he is free. If you’ve been seeing him in a regular capacity such as a study group, he may just say, “That sounds great, I’ll see you here next time!”
You’ll have planted a seed in his mind letting him know that you’re specifically interested in getting to know him better, which will lead to more conversations and eventually an intentional date!
2. Ask Him on a Shared Adventure
If you’ve had some good conversations and found some common points of interest, these are great jumping points for a first date. People love to find others who share their passions so that they have someone to enjoy them with.
If you want a chance to bond over your interests, ask him about something that would be fun for both of you. You can say, “You like sushi? I love the stuff! But none of my friends do. Let me know if you’d ever like to grab some, it would be great to have a sushi buddy!”
You could also suggest seeing a band you both like together or going to a comedy show if you both enjoy a good laugh.
3. Offer to Help Him With Something
Another low-pressure way to connect with a guy you’ve just met is to offer him help. This is common in new friendships and even professional relationships, so it won’t come off as too forward.
You can say, “I know you mentioned that a project at work is stressing you out a bit. I’m actually a trained accountant, so if you’d like me to take a look at your bookkeeping, I’d be happy to!”
You can also offer to help with something more personal, such as moving, cleaning, or lending him something of yours that he may need.
Just make sure not to become a doormat. If you barely know this guy, he may take advantage of your willingness to help.
4. Ask For His Number First
Sometimes, asking someone out for the first time can be overwhelming, especially if you’re shy or nervous. If this is the case for you, make it your mission to get his number instead of asking him out directly.
Say something like, “Hey, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. Can I get your number? Maybe we can chat sometime.”
A couple of days after this interaction, send him a message. Let him know that you had a great time talking and would love to go on a date if he feels up to it.
An additional benefit of this method is that it will give him some time to think through it rather than being put on the spot. This is especially helpful if he has just met you and wants to decide if he’s interested in dating in general.
5. Have a Friend Ask Him For You
If you’re still hesitant to ask someone out, get a mutual friend involved. You can say something along the lines of, “Hey I really like this guy that I met at the bar last weekend but he hasn’t asked for my number. Can you text him and tell him how much fun we had together? Let me know what happens!”
If he’s interested, he will probably respond to the message and set up a date with you without much trouble. This is also good for shy guys, because all they need to do is pass along a message.
However, if not, your friend can let you know so that you don’t have to feel embarrassed by being rejected in front of them.
6. Invite Him to Hang Out With Your Friends
If you’ve just met this guy and you’re out with a group of your friends, one of the best ways to ask him out is to invite him along with the crew.
If your group is going somewhere else such as another bar or club, simply ask him, “Would you like to join us?”.
You can also invite him along the next time your group plans on hanging out. You can say something like, “Hey, I had a great time dancing with you and we come here every Thursday. Let me know if you’d like to join us next time.”
You can then offer your phone number to him and let him know that he can send you a message or give you a call when he’s made up his mind.
7. Let Him Know Where You’ll Be
Another great way to make sure you connect with a guy again is by letting him know where he can find you. This is especially helpful if you met him at a nightclub, bar, or party.
You can say something like “I had an awesome time with you at Salsa night! If you like this group, I think you’ll like another one I regularly attend. I’ll be there next Saturday.”
If he’s interested in seeing more of you, then he will likely show up. This is a nice way to make a connection if you don’t feel like you’re at the stage of exchanging phone numbers yet. This way, you can meet again without needing to ask him for any personal information.
8. Hang Out At the Same Place As Him
You can do the reverse of the previous tip and show up at a place where he will be at. Maybe he told you that he is a regular at a bar. If you have mutual friends, you can get information about where he hangs out and then go there on your own.
You might feel a little awkward approaching him, but if you have good conversation skills, it should be easy to start up some polite small talk. This allows you to get to chat with each other a few times naturally before you ask the big question.