How to Ask a Guy Out for Drinks (In Person & Via Text)

Asking a guy out for a drink can feel super intimidating. For a long time, it was expected that guys would be the ones to ask, so a lot of us girls don’t have much experience or examples of how to do it ourselves!

That’s where I come in – keep reading for examples of how to take charge and ask a guy out for drinks, whether in person or in text. 

How to Ask a Guy Out for Drinks in Person

Tease him about his taste

Since playground days, teasing has been a staple of flirting. And while slightly problematic, guys want to be able to out-drink girls. It’s like a symbol of masculinity for them.

So let’s say you’re at a party and you notice your guy is holding a light beer, or a vodka mix drink. You gesture to the drink and say, “aw, that’s cute. Personally, I prefer grown-up beverages. I could probably drink you under the table”. When he fights back, challenge him to go out for drinks with you to prove it once and for all!

couple having drinks

Here’s another way to go: “Pretty basic choice you’ve got there. Let me take you out and show you some real drinks!”

Tempt him with novelty

Does he have a local pub he likes to hit up every weekend? Maybe you’re perusing their website and see that they’ve stocked up on a new beer this weekend. Maybe it’s a limited fall or winter flavor that you have to get before the season’s out!

“Did you see that new fall harvest beer that *insert name of bar here* just got in? It looks incredible! What are you doing this weekend? We should go try it out!”

couple staring at each other in a bar

Or put a sense of urgency in it too: “They’re almost definitely gonna run out of that new brew before the weekend’s over. We should go grab one tonight!”

Ask him on a brewery date

Does your guy have a particular kind of beer or liquor that he likes? There are breweries and distilleries everywhere! Do a little Googling and find out what’s in your area. 

Here’s how you introduce it into the conversation: “hey, I saw that Stateside Vodka is having a free taste test this weekend. I wonder if I’d be able to make out the different flavors. Do you wanna try it out with me?”

Or try “I hear that Black Dog Brewery has tons of different stouts to try. As a stout aficionado, I assume you’ve already been. Wanna show me your faves tomorrow night?”

Let’s get outta here

couple having drinks outdoor

Parties are great settings for getting face time with your crush, but there’s not much of a selection for drinks. Jungle juice may be effective, but it’s also pretty gross.

A couple hours in, when you’ve both had your fun, but it’s not crazy late, ask him if he wants to leave with you to get a real drink!

Try this one out: “Hey, I don’t think I can stomach any more of this juice. Do you wanna get outta here and grab a decent drink?”

Or go with the “I’m leaving, you coming?” approach: “I’ve had my fill of partying for the night – I’m getting an Uber to go to the bar. Do you wanna come with?”

When in doubt, just ask!

Run into him while you’re out and about? See him in a group setting? Have a class with him? You got this!

Muster up the courage and utter the magical phrase, “We should go grab a drink sometime.” No gimmicks or excuses necessary.

It may be easier for you to precursor your date proposal with some context or a little quip, but you don’t need it! Your guy will appreciate a direct approach. 

You could also go with something like, “hey, I saw a pub around the corner from here and I was thinking of checking it out after class. Wanna tag along?”

How to Ask a Guy Out for Drinks Via Text

Send him a social media post

male texting in a bench

So you’re scrolling on Insta or Twitter and you see that your local bar posted about an event they’re having, the debut of a new drink, or a regular old “come in this weekend!” post. Sending the post to him is a great way to get the ball rolling!

Send it with a simple text that says  “you down?” or “we should check it out!”

Another way to go is to send the post with something like “sounds too good to miss!” and let him be the one to officially ask.

I’m going, come with!

female texting outdoors

This one works whether you’re planning a night out with a group or trying to get a little one-on-one time with your guy. Tell him you’re going to the bar and he better come with if he doesn’t wanna miss out! I like to think of this one as the “get in loser, we’re going shopping” approach.

Shoot him a text that says “hey, a group of us are headed to the bar if you wanna meet me there! It’ll be a night you don’t wanna miss!”

Or go with a more intimate invite: “I think I’m gonna go out for a drink tonight. Come keep me company?”

Any recommendations?

Do you know what part of town he lives in? Text him when you’re in the area! Maybe you’re visiting a friend and you’re around for the weekend, or maybe you had some errands around his neck of the woods. Whatever the case may be, ask for: 1) recommendations and 2) company.

Here’s how you do it: “Hey! You around? I’m at the shopping center on Laurel Ave and I’m dying to get a drink. Do you wanna show me one of your local spots?”

You could also try, “omg what do you do for fun around here? I’m staying with my grandparents’ house and I’m sooo bored. Do you happen to have a bar rec and some time to kill this weekend?”

What are you doing tonight?

male looking on his phone

This one would be the most direct approach via text. As opposed to the “I’m going, come with” strategy, this one is simply asking him to make a plan with you.

Start the conversation off with a simple question – “What are you doing tonight?” If he’s free, just ask, “Do you wanna grab a drink later?” Simple and direct. 

Or go all-in up front with something like, “If you’re not busy tonight, do you want to go out for drinks with me?”

Since it’s over text, this one will be easier than just straight up asking in person. Use that keyboard courage to your advantage!

Matt Furman
Matt Furman

Hi, I’m Matt, the proud owner of Connection Copilot. I live in NYC and I’m passionate about all things dating. With a bachelor's degree in psychology, a professional coaching certification, and over 20 years of experience as a top tier dating coach, I've had the privilege of guiding and empowering thousands of individuals on their journey to meaningful connections.

I was born in New York and have never left. Having immersed myself in the fast-paced dating scene of New York City, learning as I go, I have gained much wisdom through experience. Consider me your trusted companion in your quest for love.