How to Ask a Guy If He’s Single (Over Text and in Person Without Being Obvious)

It’s a situation many of us have been in before: you’re spending time with a guy or have a crush, and you aren’t sure if he is single or not. There’s no ring on his finger, but he could be dating someone or simply doesn’t like wearing his wedding ring. Asking if he’s single might be an obvious choice, but you don’t want to come across too obvious or desperate to him.

Thankfully, there are many ways you can ask him without being too obvious about it. We’ll discuss simple texts you can use to figure out his status and how you can ask him in person. You never know when the time will be suitable to ask or when you’ll get the courage to do it. So keep these questions and scenarios in mind to ensure you are prepared when the time is right.

How to Ask a Guy If He is Single Over Text

Texting is such an excellent medium for asking otherwise awkward questions. It lets you send a quick message in a protected shell, perhaps something that seems strange or even silly. While there are many different ways you can text a guy to figure out if he’s single, we’ll examine two of the most common. These everyday conversation topics and questions make this situation easier to handle.

Talk About Romantic Things

Now, we don’t mean that you should ask a guy about his favorite sex position or anything so obvious. Instead, you can talk about something romantic in your life that you could ask a friend. Just a few things you could ask include:

  • What do you think about someone who shows up late for a first date?
  • My parents are going to Hawaii for a romantic vacation. Would you ever do something like that?
  • The sunrise was beautiful this morning! Ever watched the sun come up with a partner?
  • Do you have any fun vacation plans for your time off?

These questions often reveal his partner, such as talking about his first date with his girlfriend or their vacation plans for the summer. Ask these questions organically to ensure that you don’t come across as desperate or obvious.

Holiday Questions

woman surprised 1

Here’s a clever way to figure out a guy’s status: ask him what he’s doing for an upcoming holiday. If he has plans with his partner, he’ll likely share them with you. If he’s single, you’ll find out pretty quickly. So here are a few questions to ask:

  • Got any big plans for Thanksgiving? Going to see your family?
  • Christmas is coming up! Doing anything fun or family-oriented?
  • Ugh, Valentine’s Day is soon! Do you hate that day as much as me?
  • Any spooky Halloween party plans this year?

If dating someone, he’s likely to say, “my girlfriend/boyfriend and I are going to my parents’ house this year for Christmas” or “spending another Valentine’s Day eating pizza at home alone!” In this way, you’ll figure out his dating status very quickly.

Other Texts You Can Send

  • I just had a terrible Tinder date. What’s your worst online dating situation?
  • Have you ever used dating apps before?
  • What do you think is the easiest way to meet someone?
  • Do you see yourself getting married any time soon?
  • What kind of traits do you think make someone a good person?

How to Ask a Guy If He’s Single Without Being Obvious

woman smiling to a guy

When asking a guy about his dating status in person, it is wise to consider a few different approaches. This situation is going to be a bit more potentially awkward but could also go well if you ask the right question. Here are a few that might work well for you.

Ask About Weekend Plans

couple talking

The weekend is often a common romantic time for people in relationships. As a result, it isn’t a bad idea to ask a guy what he’s up to that weekend to get a feel for his romantic situation. Just a few ways you can approach this situation include:

  • Got any big plans for the weekend?
  • I’m going to the movies this Saturday, want to go?
  • My weekend is wide open, how about you?
  • Doing anything run or romantic this weekend?

The last question may seem a little obvious but can be played off as an honest mistake if he isn’t dating anybody. It also hints to the guy that you’re interested without being incredibly obvious. If he does have a date with a partner, he’ll likely assume that you already knew he had a partner and won’t take it the wrong way.

Talk About Your Dating Situation

couple conversing

Here’s an exciting strategy that will work well for many women: admit that you’re single first. This statement should come up naturally with your conversation and feel organic to it. Just as importantly, you need to use your comment to transition to a question about a guy’s status. This approach is smooth because it communicates your status, opens you up to him emotionally, and makes him more likely to share his status. Statements and questions to make include:

  • Oh, I’ve been single for a while now, but I wouldn’t mind dating at some point. How about you?
  • I had a rough relationship and needed to clear my head. Ever had to do something like that?
  • I decided to be single before starting my new job. Does that kind of thing help you in significant changes?

You should probably avoid asking him questions like “do you know anybody who I can date?” because you’re sending him conflicting messages. Yes, you’re letting him know that you are single. That is a good thing. However, you’re also putting him in the friend zone by asking about other guys instead of him. So keep your questions and statements simple without being confusing.

Is It Rude to Ask Someone If They’re Single?

woman smiling with a guy

Asking someone if he’s single is a bit like asking about religion or politics. You could be stepping into dangerous territory. Some people will answer honestly and without feeling insulted or upset. Others will feel like you’re being rude or prying, even if they’re interested in you. Basically, you need to handle this situation based on the guy and see how sensitive he is about personal questions.

To be safe, it is usually better to use the tips above to ask discretely or find out through alternative sources. Facebook and other social media provide a powerful tool that makes this research much more manageable. First, find his profile and see if he has set his dating status. A lack of a dating status does not mean he is single: he could just be a private person. Next, look for pictures of him with a partner or someone who’s obviously a partner.

Such steps help to make this research much more straightforward and should streamline your interest. If you can’t find out much through social media, you can use the tips mentioned previously to get an answer. You mainly want to figure out a guy’s status if he starts showing signs that he’s interested, such as spending time with you, flirting with you, or even asking you to come over to his place.

Patience is a Virtue

If you’re interested in a guy and aren’t sure if he’s single, stay patient and feel out the situation. A guy who likes you may just reveal his dating status if you don’t ask him or if it doesn’t come out in any other way. But, on the other hand, if he makes it quite clear that he is single (or explains an awkward living situation, such as sharing a home with his ex) without you asking, there’s an obvious and definite interest there.

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!