Your best guy friend is amazing, and you work so well together as friends. You’ve tried to let him know you like him, but he doesn’t seem to be getting the hint. Of course, in today’s modern world, you can just ask him out! Or can you? Lots of girls feel uncomfortable asking out a guy friend because they’re worried about losing their friendship.
That’s a totally understandable fear and something that can happen if you’re not careful. As a result, it is crucial to consider the steps below to keep your friendship safe. It will require not only saying the right things (which we’ll include here) but being mature about the situation.
How to Ask a Guy Friend Out Without Ruining the Friendship
It’s not impossible to ask a guy out without ending your friendship. You may have heard differently from your girlfriends or have an experience that suggests otherwise. There’s a good chance you didn’t approach the situation the right way or weren’t careful with how you talked to him. Here’s a simple four-step process you can use to ask out a guy without losing a friendship if he’s not interested.
Make It Seem Casual
When you’re asking out a guy you like, it is essential not to put too much pressure on him. Try to make the situation seem casual and approachable to ensure that you don’t get in a challenging situation. Just a few ways that you can ask about this situation include:
- “So, we like hanging out as friends. Maybe we should try a date?”
- “I like you a lot and think you like me. Want to see where it goes?”
- “Any chance you might want to try out a date or go out to dinner with me?”
- “Let’s go out for dinner or watch a movie. As more than friends.”
- “Best friends. Maybe we could have the best date ever?”
- “No pressure, but maybe it might be fun to see if this has a future.”
- “You’re awesome, and I like you. Let’s see if there’s a romantic connection.”
Many guys may take this as an invitation to hook up. If that’s what you want, there’s no shame in it. It’s not uncommon for good relationships to start as two friends having fun sexually. Gauge how he reacts to the situation to make sure that you feel comfortable with what you want.
Listen to What He Has to Say
Once you ask your guy friend how he’s going to have a lot of things to say. That’s not unusual and is a good thing. It means that he’s taking you seriously and is willing to entertain the possibility. That doesn’t mean he will date you, of course, but he might. Here are a few things you need to consider:
- What he wants out of the relationship with you
- How comfortable he is with moving out of the friendship zone
- Any other dating situations he might have going on in his life
- Personal problems or conditions that could affect the situation
- Past dating experiences that could impact his expectations
Pay attention to his body language, the way that he talks to you, and what he has to say while you talk about it. Does he seem taken aback or upset? Is he frowning or confused or open and happy? Smiles are good: frowns are not. Body language says a lot about what he feels, more than words.
Open Yourself Up to Him
When asking out a guy, you need to be honest with him and yourself. Don’t hide your feelings but open up. As a friend, he deserves to know how you feel and will respect your honesty. Just a few steps that you need to take during this process include how you must:
- Let him know how you feel, and be honest: don’t hold back
- Give him time to consider this information before he answers
- Don’t rush him or demand an immediate answer if he’s unsure
- Honestly give him space to think: don’t text or call until he gets ahold of you
- Be ready to respect whatever answer he gives you
If you genuinely have a great connection with this guy, and he likes you back, you’re likely to get the answer that you want. However, there’s also a chance that he is afraid to ruin the friendship or doesn’t feel the same way. So you have to be okay with him saying no if you want to avoid losing him as a friend.
Let Him Know It’s Okay to Say No
Before he gives you an answer, you need to make sure he understands that it is okay to say no. Not everybody who works together well as friends will be great dating partners. He might not see you that way, have another interest, or simply lack attraction to you. Tell him things like the statements below to make this situation easier for both you and him:
- “If you say no, don’t worry. We have a great friendship.”
- “I’d love just to be friends, and any girl that dates you is super lucky.”
- “Friendship is amazing. There’s no reason we can’t stay close.”
- “We’ll always be friends, even if we don’t date and even if it doesn’t work out.”
- “You can say no. Don’t feel pressured to say yes just because I asked.”
- “It’s okay if you’re not interested. I understand and want your friendship anyway.”
Make sure that you genuinely feel this way before saying these things to him. That will be the hardest thing for you to do here. Saying it’s okay and feeling it is okay are vastly different and require you to be honest with yourself. You’ll have to be mature about this situation and be willing to move on to another potential partner. It might be hard if you like this guy but worth it if he isn’t into you.
Make The Transition Carefully
If your guy says that he likes you and wants to go out with you, you’re about halfway to dating success! First, however, you need to make sure that you transition carefully to a new romantic situation to avoid any concerns. Slow and steady wins the race: you don’t need to jump in the sack together if the chemistry isn’t right just yet. Here’s a guide for how you can handle this process:
- Go on a few dates to see how your chemistry holds up
- Try touching each other to see if there are any sparks
- Kiss when you get home to feel what happens
- Move on to any other steps that make sense for you
If the mood is right and the emotion is strong, you should transition to a dating experience. However, one or both of you might not feel it when you kiss or even if you have sex. And that’s okay! Don’t keep dating just because you started. Admit that you’re better as friends and stick to that.
How Do You Ask a Guy If He Likes You Without Ruining the Friendship
If you ask a guy and know he likes you, a different approach needs to be taken. You can assume that he’ll say yes. But what if things don’t go well? You might lose the friendship. So, it is crucial to communicate a few things to him right away, including:
- Your expectations
- What will happen if you break up
- The importance of his friendship
- How to treat you if you do break up
- Things that might cause you to break up
This last element is so essential to get right. You want to prepare your guy for any potential deal-breakers that could affect your relationship. For example, if he doesn’t think he can meet them, you can stay friends instead. And if things go wrong, you can always say you told him so and try to work for a friendship.
This Process is Not Easy
We’re not going to lie to you here. It is tough to ask out a guy and date without putting your friendship at risk. That said, it is entirely possible to do so if you’re both honest and open about the situation right from the start. You both need to accept what the other person wants and do what you can to keep your friendship strong. In this way, you can keep a good friend if you do end things. Winner winner!