How to Ask a Guy for Coffee (Over Text & in Person)

Going out for coffee is often an excellent way to figure out if a guy is interested in you, as it is a casual and relaxing environment. It doesn’t necessarily send out the idea you want to date but shows him that you want to hang out. However, it can be challenging for some girls to take this plunge. That’s why we’ve compiled this two-part approach that focuses on both text and in-person scenarios.

How to Ask a Guy for Coffee Over Text

Texting is such a no-stress situation because you’re not looking at your guy as you ask him out. However, it can also be challenging to ask someone out because you can’t read body language or other non-verbal signs. As a result, it is essential to follow these simple steps to ensure that you get the best possible experience for your dating situation.

Ask About His Work

Before dropping a text on your guy asking him out for coffee, it is a good idea to connect with him via a casual and fun chat. Often, it’s good to talk about work, as people often have a lot to say about this topic. Such icebreakers help to make it easier to identify his potential interest and avoid confusion. Just a few ways you can approach this situation include:

  • “How’s your work day going? Do you think you need a break yet?”
  • “Are you slammed at work? Would you like to get a coffee and take a break?”
  • “Tell me more about your job over a cup of coffee, okay?”

These simple icebreakers help to open him up to your attempt to ask him out. Don’t be worried if he doesn’t reply immediately or if he seems withdrawn or distracted. People often text between their everyday day-to-day lives and require some time to react or respond to a text message.

Ask About What Coffee He Likes

talking couple

When asking a guy out for a coffee date, it is fun to talk about what kind of coffees you want to drink together. Why? It helps to make the experience more enjoyable and creates a variety of different expectations. He’ll likely feel more excited if he knows what to look for during your date. So, make sure you:

  • “What is your favorite blend of coffee?”
  • “Do you like your coffee with sugar and cream?”
  • “What’s the best creamer for your favorite coffee?”
  • “Have you tried this new local coffee place? The serve a brew I think you’ll like.”

While you’re talking about your favorite coffees, you can also be thinking about what kinds of places you’d like to go to together. This subtle step will make it easier to find a spot that makes sense for your needs and give you a better chance of having an enjoyable date together.

How to Ask a Guy for a Coffee Date in Person

woman smiling to a guy

While texting is often the best way for some girls to ask a guy for a coffee date, it isn’t always the best option. Some women read their guy’s expectations easier in person and feel more comfortable gauging his interest in that way. If that describes you, it is crucial to follow these tips to avoid any concerns. Doing so will make this process smooth and efficient for your needs.

Try the Cool and Casual Approach

woman drinking coffee

Your heart may be racing when you see your guy coming towards you. However, you can still ask him out on a coffee date by playing it cool and acting like you’re not bothered. Try things like asking:

  • “You like coffee? I like coffee and you. Let’s get a drink, shall we?”
  • “Hey, why not take a break and grab a cup of coffee with me? It’ll be our secret.”
  • “You bored? Tired? Need a bit of energy? Wanna get a cup of coffee?”

There’s a good chance that a casual approach will amuse him and get him interested in going out with you. By making the situation seem like a fun time, he’s more likely to go with you.

Be Direct and Honest

couple smiling to each other

If you like a guy, and you want to go out on a coffee date, you may not want to beat around the bush about your date. Let him know that it is a date to make it clear that you like him. Guys like knowing these bounds and their expectations and appreciate knowing how you feel. Here’s a few ways you can ask him:

  • “I like you and would like to take things slow with a coffee date. When is a good time to go?”
  • “A coffee date would be a good way for the two of us to get to know each other. What’s your favorite coffee spot?”
  • “Want to get a coffee and see if there’s any sparks between us?”

Try to keep your calm when asking him out in such a direct way. If he’s worth your time at all, he’ll appreciate you being upfront and honest with him. Most guys, even if they aren’t interested, should let you down nice and easy. If he does not treat you with dignity and respect, then he is not worth asking out in the first place, and you dodged a bullet.

Don’t Make This Situation Unnecessarily Stressful for You

couple enjoying coffee

There’s no reason you have to make your coffee date stressful for you or you guy. Instead, you can just make it a fun and engaging experience, something that the two of you can use to build a better potential relationship. Just as importantly, you need to gauge his interest during the date and see if it is right for you. There’s a chance that the two of you may not blend well together – but a chance that you might.

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!