DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
A first date gives you and your guy time to get to know each other, feel out the situation, and enjoy what each person has to offer the other. The second date is often the best time to take things to another level, such as getting a kiss, doing something more personal, or even hooking up if your connection is that strong. If you want to ask a guy out for a second date but aren’t sure how you can follow these steps to take it either by text or in person.
How to Ask a Guy for a Second Date By Text
Modern dating etiquette is much more open than it was for our parents and our grandparents. Rather than the guy doing all the asking and the girl being left at his beck and call, more and more women are asking guys out. This fact is true for second dates, as it gives you the power to choose when you want to hang out. Asking by text is not uncommon, especially if you don’t know him outside your first date.
Know When to Text
There are many guidelines online telling you when you should and shouldn’t text for a second date. Some will tell you it is best to wait a week or longer before asking him out on a second date. We have our guidelines for this process and think that sooner is better than later. Waiting too long only sends mixed signals and is likely to upset your guy. Here are a few times when you may text:
- The Same Night – Sometimes, it is best to text him the same night as your first date. Let him know that you had a great time and want to see him again. Doing so makes him feel wanted.
- A Few Days Later – The next day or even two days after your first date provide you with a good window during which you can text your guy to ask him out again.
- Any Later – If you don’t text your guy within a few days after your first date, there’s a good chance that he may move on to someone else or assume you are disinterested in dating him.
Should you wait for your guy to ask you for a second date? That depends. Some will tell you that men don’t like women who push too hard. Some guys may indeed react to your second date request poorly because they want to ask you out first. Most, though, will be happy that you enjoyed the date and flattered that you asked them out a second time. It also takes the onus away from them.
Be Direct and Honest
There’s no reason to be coy or cute when you’re asking your guy out for a second date. Instead, it would be best if you were as honest and direct about it as possible when you text him. Guys honestly prefer a simple girl who doesn’t beat around the bush when it comes to dating. Just a few simple questions and statements you can make when asking him out again include:
- “I enjoyed meeting you. Want to do it again?”
- “What do you think we should do for our second date?”
- “I would love to see you again. Let’s make plans.”
- “You’re an attractive and fun guy. I want to see you again.”
- “What a lovely time! Let’s go on a second date soon, okay?”
- “You set up the time and place, and I’m ready for a second date.”
As with all texting and dating situations, giving your guy time to respond to you is crucial. He might need to think about what he wants to say to you and how he wants to react. He may also need time to think about what to do together. If he seems uncertain or passes the buck to you (after all, you did ask), it is vital to set up plans that make sense for both of your needs.
Set Up Plans Via the Phone
If your guy says yes to your second date, you have some planning to do together. As the initiator of the second date, you’re likely going to be the one who has to plan most of what you do. The guy should still have input, obviously, ask these questions to get great results:
- “What would you like to do for our second date?”
- “Are you into pizza? I know a great pizza place!”
- “Any movies you’d like to see? When and where?
- “What day works the best for you? I’m open whenever.”
- “Do you like hiking? I think we could find a great place to go!”
Decide, in advance, how far you want to go intimately with your guy on a second date. Let him know what you’re open to doing and make sure he fully understands. A guy who respects your boundaries and doesn’t push past them is worth keeping.
Asking a Guy Out for a Second Date in Person
When you ask out a guy for a second date in person, many things mentioned above also apply. In addition, the same kind of questions and steps help to ensure you get a great result. However, there are a few other things you must consider to ensure you get the best results.
Set Up an In-Person Meeting
When you want to ask a guy out in person, you need to make sure you set up a simple and neutral environment that helps keep him relaxed. For example, you could ask:
- “Do you want to get together for a coffee to make plans for a second date?”
- “Do you have time to see me after work for a bite to eat?”
- “Why don’t I stop by your work today to make plans for another date?”
These quick personal meetings aren’t your second date but help make it easier to ask him out again. It puts you in a neutral situation in which he can feel comfortable and prevents confusion or frustration.
Talk About How Much Fun You Had
This part of the process is so important. Unlike in text, you can use body language, hand gestures, and more to let him know how much fun you had. For example, you say:
- “I feel like we have such a great connection. Let’s see where else it can go.”
- “Did you feel the same spark that I felt? I think it means something great!’
- “Let’s do something fun and exciting for our second date!
When you ask him out for a second date in person, you can make yourself a more appealing prospect by showcasing a fun, engrossed, and exciting personality. This step will more likely draw him into a second date with you.
Make Plans Together
Either by phone or at your meeting before your date, you can make plans together. Feel out what kind of second date experience he wants, including whether it is more private or intimate. For example, you can ask:
- “Do you want to come to my place to make dinner tonight?”
- “Would you rather we go to your place to watch movies?”
- “Do you think a nice dinner and a dance would be up your alley?”
- “I think it would be fun to go watch shooting stars tonight. Are you game?”
Whatever option you choose, make sure that you do what feels comfortable for you and stay safe if you are in a private situation.
Get the Date You Want
Whatever approach you take, it is essential to be true to yourself and do nothing that makes you uncomfortable. Your guy will notice if you feel uncomfortable or if you act strange when asking him out. It might make him feel awkward and could even cause him to say no to you. Be honest, open, and do whatever you can to make this situation easier for all involved parties.