How to Ask a Guy Barista Out (WITH EXAMPLES)

Ah, the classic issue every caffeinated girl runs into at some point or another – how do we ask out the male baristas?!

Check out these tips for picking him up like a boss (a girl boss, that is).

How to Ask a Guy Barista Out

Compliment his music taste

There’s always nice, chill music playing in coffee shops and the playlist is usually controlled by the barista! Ask if he’s in charge of the playlist today and compliment his taste. 

Talk about concerts coming up and gauge his interest. Maybe ask if he wants to go see a show with you!

“Hey, did you put this song on? Oh man, I love Remi Wolf’s new album too! Did you see she’s coming to Philly this weekend? I have an extra ticket if you wanna go!”

Ask if you can buy him a coffee


This may seem corny, but it can be very charming if you play your cards right. Maybe you can’t decide what to order today so you ask him what he usually orders. When he tells you, ask if you could buy him one sometime. Who knows, maybe he’ll counter with going out for a real drink!

Here’s your script:

“Ugh, I can’t make up my mind today. What do you normally order?” *he answers* “Oh cool, I’ll take two! One for me, and one for you, if you want!”

Build a rapport and ask him to hang out

couple on a date by a pool

It can be a little awkward if you ask a male barista out at first sight. You may come off shallow, like you’re only interested in him for his looks. If he works at your local coffee shop, visit often and be your friendly self! Throw him compliments and show him your appreciation. Chat when the shop’s not too busy. Once you have a friendship brewing, maybe one day you ask him what he’s doing after work and see if he’d like to hang!

This one can be a little more direct since you’ve built a relationship. 

“Hey, I’ve been loving chatting with you. Do you wanna hang out sometime?”

Catch him during off-hours

couple on a date by a pool

This one requires the coffee shop to be local, or for you to find him on a dating app. Some people just don’t want to be asked out at work. He might like to keep his work and his personal life separate and may respond better to the proposition when he’s not on the clock. 

“Hey, you’re the guy from the coffee shop, right?” is the perfect icebreaker for a dating app convo. 

Or if you happen to catch him out and about: “Well, if it isn’t my favorite barista. Are you doing anything tomorrow night? I feel like I owe you a drink.”

Invite him to a no-pressure event

couple on a date drinking white wine

A great way to ask out a male barista is to offer up a local public event where there’s no pressure to attend. This is a fantastic way to gauge his interest without running the risk of making things weird. If he shows up, great! You have a date! If not, you can always try again. 

Go in one morning and say: “Hey, did you hear about the festival on 2nd street later? I’m gonna be there if you wanna come check it out!” 

Or “I hear there’s going to be a band playing at the park later. I’ll be there on my blue picnic blanket. You should come stop by!”

 Slip him your number

girl slipping her number on paper

Listen. We know when a guy is flirting with us. It’s seriously not that hard to read the signals. If you’re getting serious flirty vibes from your barista, write your number down on your receipt! This is a bold approach, but it’s a classic for a reason. Luck favors the bold. Just make sure you tip well too! Nobody wants to go on a date with the cheapskate.

Here are a couple of cheeky examples of what to write:

“Don’t think I’m corny for this: 555-555-5555”

“Sorry, idk how else to do this: 444-444-4444 :)”

“Here goes nothing: 333-333-3333 xoxo”

Follow him on Instagram 

girl checking instagram on her phone

Okay so you’re too nervous to ask him out in person, but you know his first name and where he works. Here’s what you do: go to the coffee shop’s Insta and go through their posts (look at tags and comments), OR go to their followers and search his name. 

Found him? Follow him! Boom! Thank you Instagram. Next, you dm him.

“Hey, I just randomly stumbled across your insta! I love your posts. Do you wanna hang sometime?”

Or lean into the ~crazy~ of it all: “I found you on Insta because I’m too shy to ask you out in person. Do you wanna hang sometime?”

Is it OK to Ask a Barista Out?

girl leaving cafe

As long as you’re being respectful, of course, it’s okay to ask a barista out. Wait until the opportune moment – don’t ask when it’s super busy or if he’s been brushing you off. But if you’re getting the vibe, go for it! Just be prepared for his answer. If he says no, your shame may prevent you from ever being able to visit that cafe again.

How Do You Tell if a Male Barista Likes You?

If he remembers your name and/or your coffee order, he almost definitely likes you. Coffee shops are fast-moving, high-demand places. Only the most special customers stand out in his memory! Test the theory by taking a seat in his eye-line so you can catch him if he’s sneaking peeks at you. 

How Do You Flirt with a Guy at a Coffee Shop?

girl staring at a barista

If you’re trying to initiate some flirty action with a cute guy at your cafe, let him see you looking! Here’s ~the move~: catch his gaze, smile, look down, then look back up at him. If he’s reading a book, tell him you were thinking of reading it and ask him how it is. If he’s on a laptop, ask what he’s working on. Show him you’re interested!

Jenny Muscolo
Jenny Muscolo

My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I got my Masters in human sexuality at Northwestern University, and love what I do.

I believe a few simple tips can help you massively improve your communication skills with your partners, which leads to better interactions. Thanks for visiting!