Are you wondering “how long should I wait to text back after he ignored me?”, you’re not alone. Just about everyone has experienced this at some point. It can be really stressful, but we can help take the guesswork out of the situation.
So How Long Should You Wait to Text Him Back?
If you feel that he’s been ignoring you, chances are you were the last person to text. As a general texting rule, it’s important to wait at least two days before double texting someone. Then only do so once as a follow-up to your last exchange.
What to Say to Him When He Ignores You
The key to figuring this out lies with understanding why he was ignoring you to begin with.
Did you two have a fight? Or does he just have a pattern of ignoring your texts, only to respond by changing the subject days later?
Some guys try to play “hard to get” and ignore their partners’ texts intentionally. This makes the other person feel insecure about the relationship, and will often make them try harder to firm up the connection when communication resumes. Of course, that all depends on the other partner’s personality. What can inspire one woman to try harder might push another one away completely.
Take a look at your texting history to see if there’s a pattern. That will determine what you say to him next.
For example, if he’s usually really good at communicating with you and suddenly drops off, then there may be something wrong. Try texting him to ask him if everything’s okay: that leaves the ball in his court and gives him the opportunity to explain himself.
Alternatively, you could send a funny photo or meme to let him know that you’re thinking about him.
Don’t send inflammatory texts in an attempt to force him to contact you. This can include implying that you think you’re pregnant, or that you’ve been hurt. That’s a surefire way to break trust. If this relationship continues, he’d have a hard time believing other potentially stressful news from you.
He Ignores My Texts for Days – What Does it Mean?
Well, first and foremost it probably means that he’s really busy. Time can slip away from people, especially if they’re engaged in activities that require a lot of their focus and energy.
You may feel like he’s ignoring you when in fact he could be absolutely swamped with school assignments. Or he’s working 20 hours a day to finish a big work contract.
Have you asked him what’s going on in his life? Sometimes, what we interpret as being ignored is really the other person’s form of self-care. He might be dealing with depression and/or anxiety but doesn’t want to talk to you about it. This can manifest as intense withdrawal from communication until the blackness fades enough to communicate again.
Of course, there’s also the possibility that he doesn’t consider communication with a partner to be a top priority. If there’s nothing stressing him out and he’s just getting back to you on his own time, then that’s a big red flag.
Ultimately, you won’t know his motivations unless you look at the rest of his behavior.
If you two haven’t spoken for a while (and thus don’t have the opportunity to discuss things), take a look at how your relationship has gone so far. Is this normal behavior for him? Was this a one-night stand that had lingering conversation for a while, but it’s died down recently?
Draw back and take a look at the big picture, and things should clear up quite a bit.
Should I Text Him Back After He Ignored Me For Months?
Again, that depends on context.
Did he text to apologize for his silence and to tell you that he’s been dealing with some horrible crap? Then it’s up to you whether you want to give him a chance to explain himself. Talking to him about it might give you more insight as to what kind of a person he is.
He could be a master manipulator who’s been playing games to try to keep you on your toes. Or he could have sincerely been going through a terrible time but wants to reconnect.
Alternatively, did he text you a nonchalant “hey babe” after months of radio silence? That’s not cool. He hasn’t put in any effort to keep in touch with you, and then tries to restart communication with a casual text that implies nothing has changed?
In a situation like this, why bother responding? You’re worth more effort and care than that.
What to Do When He Finally Calls You?
Don’t answer the phone when he calls: let it go to voicemail and see what kind of message he leaves, if he does. Answering immediately will give the impression that you’ve been sitting around waiting for him to get in touch.
Consider asking mutual friends and acquaintances how he’s been doing since you last spoke. If you hear from them that he’s been depressed, or that something awful happened that he had to work through.
Next, determine whether you want to talk to him after being ignored for months. Do you want to hear his side of the story? Did he apologize in his phone message with a sincere desire to talk again? Or did he seem like he was just calling you because he’s bored?
If you feel like talking to him, then call him back a few hours later. You can even wait a day or two. In fact, waiting to respond to him will turn things around and make him realize that you may not be available to him. He may have assumed that you’d just be sitting on a shelf waiting for him, and this will be a wake-up call.
You two may end up playing a bit of phone tag until you’re finally able to speak. When that happens, let him explain why he’s been silent for so long. This is also known as “giving him enough rope to hang himself”. What he says will determine your response: whether you’re interested in communicating further, or blocking his number.
As you can see, the answer to “how long should I wait to text back after he ignored me?” is a complicated one. The answer will be determined both by your past interactions, and your priorities.
Examine your motivations when it comes to talking to this guy. Relationships are about equality and reciprocation, not silence and game playing.
Ask yourself why you still have an interest in communicating with someone who has proven that he can—and will—push you aside that easily.