Have you ever gotten a text from the guy you like that left you scratching your head? Did you feel the need to show it to your closest friends for interpretation?
Dating can get confusing, especially when so much of it is carried out virtually these days. Tone and intent can easily get lost in text. It’s even worse if the guy you’re talking to simply isn’t a strong writer.
That’s why we’ve pulled together this detailed guide on guys’ texting habits and behavior. We’ll be decoding many of the most mysterious texting strategies you might have noticed your man using.
Keep reading to find the answers to a lot of your most pressing romance questions…
Before you read...
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Things He Says and What they Could Mean
In this section, we’re going to look at specific things he’s texting you – not his habits around texting. If you’re concerned about the nature of the text and what it says, this is where you should start looking.
Need further advice? We strongly recommend taking the time to learn more about basic male psychology. One of our favorite resources for this is the Devotion System, which is a course created by Amy North, a relationship expert. It teaches people what men are looking for in love and how to address their needs in an irresistible way.
He’s asking you a lot of questions about yourself.
What if he keeps peppering you with questions? He may be asking you about what you do in your spare time, what music you listen to, which tv shows you watch, and even basic questions like what your favorite color is. You might feel like you’re being interrogated by him!
More likely than not, these are the types of texts you’ll see in the earliest stages of a relationship. At that point, texts like these are a great sign.
Why? It shows that he wants to learn more about you. You wouldn’t waste your time learning about someone you’re not even interested in, so all these questions could be a clear indicator of his romantic interest in you.
Read More: How to Text a Guy (The Ultimate Guide)
There are tons of emojis and hearts in his text messages.
Another thing you might see your guy doing is sending you text messages that are punctuated with emojis, like hearts or smiley faces. We feel like this is another positive sign.
Remember, tone tends to get lost in text messages if you’re not clear. Emojis can solve that issue by functioning as emotional signals. The fact that he’s using emojis tells you that he wants to be clear about what he’s feeling.
Of course, this also depends heavily on the types of emojis he’s using. Smiling, positive faces and hearts are the best ones to be receiving.
He compliments you a lot.
It can feel a little strange when someone repeatedly compliments you through text. Since you’re not there to read their face, you can’t always gauge their sincerity. So, what are you supposed to think when he thrills you with compliments about your eyes, smile, or any aspect of your wonderful personality?
This can easily be a good or a bad sign. He could be buttering you up for a casual hookup (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing if that’s what you want) or he could be legitimately swooning over you.
One way to tell the difference is to consider the frequency of the compliments and when he’s sending them. Does he sprinkle the compliments naturally throughout your conversations? Then he’s probably being sincere.
On the other hand, if he loads you up with compliments right from the get-go, he’s either awkward or he wants something from you.
Read Also: 53 Things to Text Him to Make His Day
Good night and good morning texts.
Nothing will make you feel quite as valued as receiving “good morning beautiful” or “good night beautiful” texts. The good news is that these texts should make you feel special.
It may only take a couple seconds of his day to tap out these texts, but consistently remembering to do so takes time, effort, and commitment. When he never fails to greet you in the morning or tuck you in virtually at night, it means that he’s thinking about you at these times.
Our opinion is that when someone is the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing you think about at night, then you’re well on the way to falling for them. This is true for him, as well.
He’s asking you for nudes or videos.
We’ve all gotten those texts from guys asking for a “hot pic” or requesting a specific video. Depending on the timing of the messages, they can feel slimy, gross, and turnoff-worthy.
The intent behind texts like these is simple: he wants you to turn him on. Whether you want to do so at the time is entirely up to you.
Don’t immediately write off every single guy requesting nudes, though. If you’ve known him for awhile and you’ve been building a relationship, it’s natural to want to have physical intimacy. The difference between it being appropriate or gross is context. Gauge how you feel, whether you were having a spicy conversation to begin with, and if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level.
On the other hand, if you just met him the other day and he’s already trying to use you for a quick sexual thrill…he’s probably not looking for a deep, emotional connection, to say the least. Again, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing – you may want a booty call, too – but if it’s not what you’re looking for, feel free to take a hard pass on him.
You May Also Like: 101 Sexy Text Messages That Will Make Him Crave You
He questions you about your plans and availability.
Has he been feeling out your schedule by asking whether you’re free or what your plans are? You can probably guess what this means, but if not, we’ll shed some light on his motivation for you.
When he asks you about your schedule, he’s trying to figure out if you’re available to see him. Doing so is a discreet way of working himself up to ask you on a date, because he wants to make sure you’re available to begin with.
It may even be his indirect way of asking you out. He could be expecting you to reply saying you’re completely free and want to see him.
Giving you elusive answers about the nature of your relationship/what he wants.
Sometimes, you meet this guy you’re really interested in and you hit it off with him. You feel a genuine connection with him. Whenever you try to bring up the nature of your relationship, though, you get elusive responses.
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The response itself may vary. He could tell you that he doesn’t want to “put a label” on your relationship. He may also say that he’s “not ready for a commitment. “
What this means varies. It can be a perfectly valid way of buying more time, especially if he’s been hurt recently and he needs to rebuild his confidence.
On the flipside, it can be a scummy method of keeping you at his beck and call without any promise of commitment. In this scenario, he’s baiting you with the romance you crave, keeping you around as a backup plan until someone he wants more appears.
How do you know the difference? Look at his behavior outside of texting. If he’s otherwise treating you like a girlfriend by taking you on dates, buying you gifts, sending you loving messages, and sleeping with you, then he’s being scummy. He wants the whole deal without the commitment so he can bail at any time.
But if he’s being kind of cautious on all levels, including physical, then take it as a sign that he may be truly interested in you…he just needs time. This is common in situations where he had his heart broken recently and he needs to heal.
Sending really romantic and poetic messages.
How about those times when the guy you’re talking to melts your heart with cheesy messages? What if he sprinkles all his texts with flowery sentiments and romantic notes that make you feel like you’re getting love letters?
The answer is complicated. Like some of the types of texts in this list, it could be a positive or negative thing depending on the circumstances.
To determine if it’s positive or negative, you need to look at the timing. If you’ve just started talking and he’s already sending you love letters, then he’s either being insincere or he’s desperate. You don’t fall instantly in love with someone.
It’s acceptable (and even expected) when you’ve spent weeks or even months getting to know him and developing a connection. At that point, you’ve put in the time learning to truly appreciate each other, so you can accept the authenticity of his romantic texts.
There are a lot of “hahas” and “lols” in his texts.
One thing you might see him doing frequently is ending his texts with “haha” or “lol.” This may even happen when neither of you has said anything obviously funny.
There are a couple reasons why men do this. The first is that it’s being used as a filler word to make the text messages seem less abrupt – kind of like an emoji. Think about how people have their own filler worlds in person, such as saying “like” a lot. It can be similar to that.
It’s also a way of making a message seem more casual. The tone of a text completely changes when you tack on a “haha” at the end. If he’s made a statement that would otherwise seem cold or pointed, he may add “haha” to soften it.
Finally, it might be something he falls back on when he’s uncomfortable or doesn’t know what to say. You’ll know this is the case if you made a statement that applies pressure on him, like asking him a pointed question.
Want to make him say “haha” and really mean it? Here are texts to make him laugh at work.
General Texting Behaviors in Guys
There’s way more to texting than just the actual words in the message. Everything from the time of day to how quickly he texts you back can factor into their meaning.
If you have questions about his texting behavior, but not the specific message he sent, this is the section for you.
He sends you a lot of one-word replies.
You know one text message that always makes you stop dead in your tracks? A single-word one. We’ve all received that cold “okay” in response to something we’ve said and felt confused or hurt by it.
The hurt and confusion are reasonable reactions. If he sends you a lot of one-word texts and you find yourself largely carrying the conversation alone, then that’s a solid indicator that he may not be into you.
On the other hand, if he only texts you those cold one-word texts occasionally, think about when you’re texting him. During work or school hours, he’s likely just too busy to send you a lengthier response.
Another possibility is that he’s upset. If you just had a disagreement moments before, the one-word text could be him showing you that he’s still kind of stewing in the discomfort. Give him a little space to breathe and recover.
Further Reading: How to Reply to One-Word Texts from Guys
You often must wait a long time for him to respond.
Another heart-stopping things guys do sometimes is take ages to reply to your text. You probably know the feeling of sending him something, then waiting for a reply and jumping on your phone every time it goes off.
There are a lot of things to consider if he’s a slow responder. The first is simple: he might be busy. Again, think about the timing. If it’s in the middle of the day, chances are, he’s at work and can’t be on his phone constantly.
Things are a little different if he always takes a long time to reply. This is a sign that he’s not as invested in you as you are in him, so he feels no rush to answer you. You might want to cut your losses in this case and move on to someone else.
He texts you most in the middle of the night.
Late night text messages are infamous for being booty calls in disguise. The later the text message is, the more likely the case that he’s up, he’s thirsty, and he wants you to quench that late-night thirst.
However, sending you texts late isn’t always a sure sign of sexual intent. Timing is once again the key here. If he’s sending you texts in the late evening, for instance, it might just mean that his schedule is packed until that time.
Additional Resource: 20 Things to Text a Guy at Night
Whenever you ask to see him, he makes excuses.
Warning bells are probably going off in your head if, whenever you ask to see him, he makes some kind of excuse. It doesn’t matter what the specific excuse is – what matters is that he repeatedly gives you a reason for why he can’t see you.
You’re right that something fishy is going on. Exactly what it is can vary based on a combination of factors.
Have you ever met in person or have you only talked to him online? And if you met him online, have you ever been on a video call? If you’ve never seen him in person or spoken with him on a video call, there’s a chance he might be catfishing you.
In case you’ve never heard the term, catfishing is when someone dates online using another person’s pictures as their own. There are tons of reasons why people do this, but it usually comes down to insecurity about their actual appearance. Obviously, meeting in person would blow their disguise, so catfish will make any excuse whatsoever not to see you.
It’s different if you’ve met him in person at least once. Refusing to meet again is equally as suspicious in this scenario. He simply may not be interested in you, or he may not want to be seen with you in person.
Keep in mind that this only applies if he consistently avoids hanging out. Every once in awhile, it’s normal to not have time for a date or to simply not feel like one. Expect him to occasionally excuse himself from meeting you.
If you don’t answer right away, he keeps sending you more texts until you reply.
One of the most annoying things a guy can do is pester you for your attention. Imagine you stepped away from your phone and came back to messages like:
“Are you still there?”
“I guess you must be too busy for me right now…”
“Where did you go?”
They don’t even need to be as obvious as the previous examples. He may send you repeated texts about different topics or continue the conversation as if you were actively answering.
He does this for one reason: he’s insecure. He’s worried that you’re losing interest or talking to someone else, and so he does what he can to get you focused back on him.
This is a huge red flag. If he’s like this while you’re just texting, imagine how annoying he’ll be in a committed relationship. You need to put a pin in this fast by letting him know he has no reason to be insecure, and that you’ll get back to him when you can.
Making him fall in love can be as easy as sending him this super simple text message...
His messages have a cold and distant tone.
Guys sometimes play an annoying game of hot and cold. Things can seem to be going great with frequent warm and flirty texts…then, out of nowhere, he suddenly seems to clam up. His answers may become formal or he may even resort to one-word replies.
What’s his deal? This is a tough question to answer because there are a lot of potential reasons.
The first may be that he felt pressured by you. If you were trying to force a commitment from him, the coolness you’re feeling could be him throwing up his walls.
Another possibility is much more hurtful: he could be talking to other women. It’s common for this to be the case when you’re in the “just talking” phase of a relationship. You both may be keeping other options, and his withdrawal could mean that one of his other options got a lot more appealing to him.
Even if there isn’t necessarily another woman in the picture, he could have just lost interest. Not every flirty encounter leads to a relationship. Sometimes, those sparks just fizzle out for no reason.
Finally, he could have something else going on his life. If he’s at work, in school, hanging out with friends, or going through some problems in his family, he won’t have time to dedicate to long, open messages.
He answers you right away.
A guy answering you immediately should be a good thing, right? After all, what you want is someone who values your time and conversation.
Not so fast, though. There’s something a little strange with him always answering you right away at just about any time.
It could be something as cute and innocent as him being excited to get to know you. This is usually the case if you’ve just started talking.
However, if it’s been weeks or longer and he still seems to answer you within minutes every time, there’s a chance he could be obsessive. Healthy relationships aren’t built on obsession – they’re built on mutual respect for each other and balance.
It’s potentially another red flag if he doesn’t seem to have a life outside of you. Imagine the pressure it would put on you if you started dating him and his whole existence revolved around you.
He sends you a lot of pictures of himself.
Should you be concerned about a man sending you regular pictures of himself – regardless of whether or not they’re of the sexy variety?
Not really. Women enjoy taking cute pictures of themselves, and so do men. If you often send him selfies, he probably just wants to return the favor and give you a little eye candy.
Be sure to boost him a bit by hyping up the outfit he shows you or by “awwwwwwing” when he takes adorable pics with his dog.
Some of his texts include memes/funny gifs.
What about the guy who likes to regularly send you side-splitting images? What’s up with that?
The answer to this one really depends. Sending you an occasional meme or gif isn’t wrong – he’s saying that he saw something funny, thought of you, and wanted to share a laugh with you. Bonus points for him if the meme is something you’re interested in but he’s not into, because it shows that he remembers your passions.
It becomes more of a problem if it’s virtually all he does by text. If he consistently relies on memes to communicate with you, he may not be taking your relationship seriously or may not be mature enough to communicate effectively.
He’s stopped texting you entirely.
Now for the hardest behavior in this guide: the vanishing act. How should you interpret it when a guy stops answering you at all?
This infamous disappearing behavior is called ghosting. Guys ghost you mainly as an immature way of bailing on a connection they just weren’t feeling.
It could be any number of things. Maybe he found someone else and didn’t have the heart to tell you. He could have just decided you weren’t the person for him and couldn’t discuss it like an adult.
The bottom line is, it’s an escape tool. If he’s dropped off the face of the earth and won’t talk to you anymore, we strongly recommend just letting him go because he clearly wasn’t man enough for you, anyway.
But if you absolutely need the closure, we’ve also written a guide to what to text a guy after being ghosted.
Here’s How You Can Get into His Head
As you can see from the length of this guide, guys have a huge range of weird texting behaviors that can be difficult to interpret. It’s too bad there isn’t some kind of app that works as a universal guy translator, right?
There may not be an app, but the good news is that there are resources that can help demystify how men think for you. Once you understand what men are looking for, it’s surprisingly easy to build long-lasting connections.
If you’re interested in learning more about what men want, we recommend looking into Amy North’s Devotion System. It’s a program all about uncovering men’s secret romantic desires and how to take advantage of them.
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There's one text message that can leave any man full of desire for you and only you...
My name is Jenny and I love helping people with their relationships. I believe a few simple tips can help people massively improve their communication skills with their partners and really express themselves. Thanks for visiting!
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