75+ Funny Good Morning Texts for Him

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The good morning text is a staple of the modern dating scene and should never be phoned in, or you might bore your boy. So here are 75 of the funniest wake-up texts you can send, each with a brief description of when they are best to use and other important information.

Funny Good Morning Texts for Him

1. “The best part of waking up is knowing you’ll be waiting, on pins and needles, for my text.

This silly text opens up plenty of flirting potential, including him acting like he didn’t even care if you humorously texted him.

2. “I knew you liked to work out, but did you have to race through my mind all night?”

This tweak on a classic line is perfect if your guy loves working out and will undoubtedly put a silly smile on his face in the morning.

3. “The sun sure can be annoying, but your father’s son always makes me smile.”

We like this one because it might make your guy stop and think for a moment. “Who’s my father’s son? Oh…me, duh!”

4. “Coffee might wake me up, but I’d prefer it if you were here to put me to sleep tonight.”

Want to come on strong with a flirty text? Try this option! Your guy will feel amused but also pleased by your flirtatious nature.

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“There’s a big you-sized spot on my mattress that I couldn’t help but snuggle this morning.”

5. Let him know you want him close to you at night, and you can make his day. But, just as importantly, this text sends a little fun flirtation his way.

6. “Me+U+Coffee = The Best Morning EVER! Got time for a cup this morning?”

Try this text if you want to see him before work and catch up a little. Of course, coffee is always a standard, fun joke to use when waking up.

7. “The best part about seeing you last night is I can still smell your kisses on my lips.”

Use this text if you hung out last night and had a little fun together. You’ll make him laugh and remind him of the good time.

8. “Drill Sergeant girlfriend here! GET YOUR LAZY BUTT OUT OF BED! MOVE MOVE!”

Is your boy a proud ex-military or current military member? Then, remind him of the “joys” of boot camp with this hilarious text.

9. “The dog whined all last night because you weren’t here. So did I!”

Perfect for the dog-lover boyfriend who bonds perfectly with your canine companions.

10. “We seriously have to take about breaking up…this boring morning with a funny text!”

Only use this text if your boyfriend is confident enough for breakup jokes. Some guys may not like this joke!

11. “Last night, ‘I’m Too Sexy’ ran through my head every time I thought of you.”

Does your guy love his sexy body almost as much as you? Then, tease him a little with this fun and flirty text.

12. “Aliens abducted me last night, and I’m on Mars. I need you to rescue me!”

Want to throw your guy for a loop? Send this text and see how he responds. If he laughs, he’s a keeper!

13. “This bacon tastes delicious but could use a side of your man meat.”

Get super-naughty with this fun and hilarious good morning text.

14. “Dorian Gray must have lent you his mirror because you look so young in that pic!”

Only send this if you and your boyfriend love literature and Oscar Wilde references.

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15. “This is hard, but I have to come out of the closet: I can’t spend all day looking for shoes!”

Send this to throw your guy for a brief loop only to leave him laughing at your wit.

16. “Three words: breakfast in bed. With you. Shoot, that’s five words.”

Get a little belly laugh out of your guy with this silly text.

17. “I hit the snooze button three times this morning: wish you were here to hit it a fourth.”

Make fun of your sleep-loving tendencies with this silly and cheeky text.

18. “Do you miss me as much as I miss you? Let’s take bets on it.”

Add a little romance to your morning text with this loving message. Not necessarily hilarious, but the “bets” after it could be a fun morning flirt.

19. “I like my men like I like my coffee: warming me up every morning.”

Turn your guy with this funny joke. You can get extra naughty by saying something like “inside of my belly,” though that depends on your taste in flirting.

20. “I think I’m going crazy…for you. Want to buy matching straight jackets?”

While a bit dark, this joking text can go over very well if your guy likes his jokes a little on the black side of the spectrum.

21. “Not gonna lie, I wish you were here. I don’t feel like making breakfast.”

The classic bait and switch of this joke will keep your guy laughing. Make sure to let him know you also miss his kisses later.

22. “I don’t like breakfast nearly half as much as I like you!”

If you are a well-known lover of breakfast cuisine or eating early, this text should make him smile from ear to ear.

23. “If I had your luck, I’d bet on the lotto tonight. After all, you have me.”

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This playfully arrogant tease will likely result in some fun morning banter with your boy.

24. “If I had to choose between pancakes in the morning or you, I’d probably pick you.”

When he replies joking back after this text, continue to fluctuate between him and pancakes (always choosing your boy at the end).

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25. “You must be caffeinated because nothing wakes me up quite like you.”

Follow this up with a coffee icon or even a naughtier “licking tongue” emoticon to make your message very clear.

26. “I’m hungover…from seeing you last night.”

Try this text if you both love wine or a nightcap before bed.

27. “Admit it: this text is the best part of your day.”

He’ll probably agree with you!

28. “Let’s play hooky together today!”

Create a fun aura by playfully reminding him of youthful days of skipping class.

29. “Babe, I’m going to need 10ccs of you to wake up this morning.”

Try out this text on a doctor, medical student, or nurse.

30. “Call the fire department! I’m burning for you!”

Ignite his passion and his sense of humor with this gag.

31. “Every morning, I beat you out of bed. Think you can beat me to bed?”

Get a little flirty with this silly message.

32. “The sun goes down: I text you. The sun goes up: I text you. I think I like you.”

He’ll likely laugh at and feel touched by this message at the same time.

33. “Why does morning always come so early in the day?”

This old chestnut will make him roll his eyes and groan.

34. “Daylight saving time is the worst invention ever.”

Another fun way to play off being tired that morning.

35. “Call the doctor: I slept myself into a coma.”

Not a good text if your guy is gullible and somehow thinks you can text from a coma.

36. “Hey baby, don’t you just love dating a morning person?”

Use this text if your guy has trouble waking up every morning.

37. “It’s amazing how long the male body can sleep without a woman to wake him up.”

Take a light jab in the battle of the sexes with this playful text.

38. “Dating you so long has made me into a morning person!”

Try out this text if your guy is a morning person and you are not.

39. “Timezones are a pain in the butt, aren’t there?”

If you have a long-distance relationship, this text usually gets some laughs.

40. “Give me a pot of coffee, sugar pie.”

Use this text if your guy is a coffee fiend.

41. “I’m quitting my job to become a nun. A sexy nun.”

This random bit of silliness will get your guy laughing.

42. “Let’s play strip text: take off a piece of clothing with every message.”

End this exchange with some naughty pics if you’re comfortable doing so.

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43. “Peanut butter and jelly got nothing on us!”

Use this gag if your guy likes eating toast every morning.

44. “The sunrise could make even you look hot.”

Try a playfully insulting text, as long as your boy gets the joke.

45. “Skip work, and let’s make a blanket fort!”

Tap into your boy’s innate playfulness with a promise of a little sexy fun.

46. “Softly, I kiss your neck, and then…oh shoot, this isn’t your dad’s number!”

Your guy will be in tears laughing at this joke!

47. “I’m not sure what we did last night, but there’s a monkey here smoking a cigar.”

Use bizarre imagery to get your boyfriend laughing in the morning.

48. “What’s better than my kisses in the morning? Nothing, you dork!”

Another bait and switch gag that should keep him laughing.

49. “I put on my best lingerie last night. Come over and take them off this morning.”

Go for broke with this hot and funny text.

50. “I’ll have whatever you’re having for breakfast.”

Hint at possible early morning fun with this text.

51. “When the sun comes up, all I can think of is you, whipped cream, and a distinct lack of clothes.”

Use this text to make him laugh and turn him on at the same time.

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52. “Want to know what’s on the menu for breakfast? Me-n-u!”

If your boy uses dad jokes on you, use them right back for maximum hilarity.

53. “Your brother wants to know: what’s my favorite position?”

Again, only use texts like these if your boy is very confident.

54. “It’s secret sharing Monday! Share a secret with me, and I’ll share it with everyone else.”

Obviously, if he shares a secret with you, you better share one with him!

55. “The fastest way to my heart: getting me out of work today.”

Don’t be surprised if he takes you up on the offer!

56. “Texting you has my heart racing! Oh, wait. It’s just my coffee.”

Another fun way to get your baby laughing.

57. “What do you and my coffee have in common? You’re both black and beautiful!”

It works best if your boyfriend is African American.

58. “I’ll take my sugar with coffee and…you!”

There are an endless number of coffee jokes, aren’t there?

59. “My favorite breakfast meat? You, of course!”

Get super-naughty with this funny and sexy text.

60. “I think I’ll sleep for the rest of the day…until you show up, of course!

Remind him of how hot he is with this funny text.

61. “I changed my will: if I die, I want you to have my credit card debt.”

While a little morbid, this text can make the right guy laugh pretty hard.

62. “I thought my cat woke me up howling your name last night. Then I realized it was me.”

Make him laugh and feel unique with this text.

63. “Put on a wig and do my job for me today. I’m sleeping in.”

Maybe he’ll want to skip work too and join you at your place?

64. “I’m digging to China for a vacation; wanna join me?”

Be a little quirky to get him laughing on a tough morning.

65. “Touch me, touch me, I wanna feel your body. Oops, voice to text caught my radio!”

Make fun of the foibles of technology with this text.

66. “Tell me one good reason why we shouldn’t spend all day together in bed?”

This text will make your guy laugh as he ponders the same question more seriously.

67. “Ground Control to Major You: you’ve made the grade on my heart!”

Send this to a music fan (especially a David Bowie fanatic).

68. “I wish you were here to play me like a drum.”

Texts like these work beautifully with musicians.

69. “Tell me a bedtime story. I’m ready to go back to sleep.”

Get a good chuckle out of your guy at your expense.

70. “I’m reading your future for today: things will only get better after this amazing text!”

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Cheer up your guy and get him ready for the day with a laugh after this text.

71. “I want you to kiss me right now. Do you want to kiss yourself, too?”

Playoff the expected “me too” text with this silly message.

72. “Don’t jog this morning. I know an exercise that’s much more fun.”

Your guy will practically sprint to your house, laughing all the way.

73. “Why doesn’t your daily morning working include bench pressing me?”

Touch your guy’s macho side with this funny, sexy text.

74. “I don’t care if it’s six o’clock in the morning. Netflix and chill?”

Be flirty, naughty, and funny with this captivating text.

75. “Let’s make one thing clear. Morning nookie beats afternoon delight.”

Your guy will be laughing his wall all to your house for some morning fun.

Print Out This List

Save this page (and use the search function to find your favorite text) or print it out, put it on your wall next to your bed, and highlight your favorites. Make sure you alternate texts and try different options frequently to keep your guy guessing. He’ll love that you put in the time and effort!